PATHOS
by Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus
Summary: It was meant to be an experiment to control the Red Dragon. Sadly, when an onslaught of tragedy and madness pushes Rubedo to his limits, The PATHOS Incident christens Miltia the "second" place U.R.T.V. Number 666 sacrificed comrades. Pre-Series. Complete.
1. Emotion and Tragedy

_**PATHOS**_

**SUMMARY**: It was meant to be an experiment to control the Red Dragon. Sadly, when an onslaught of tragedy and madness pushes Rubedo to his limits, "The PATHOS Incident" christens Miltia the "second" place Number 666 sacrificed comrades.

**GENRE**: Drama/Angst  
**RATED**: PG-13 / T *  
**NOTABLE CONTENT**: Blood and Gore, Disturbing Content, Mature Themes, Strong Language, and Violence *  
**PAIRING**: (Slight) Rubedo/Sakura

**COPYRIGHT NOTE**: I don't own _Xenosaga  
_**STORY TAKES PLACE IN**: Pre-Miltian Conflict (references flashbacks in _Xenosaga: Episode II – Jenseits von Gut und B__ö__se)_

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**(Story Revised and Reloaded: 07-16-09)**

For your reading pleasure, I've taken the time to fix various glitches in this story.  
Better formatting, and even improved author notes, are now ahead for your convenience.

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*** ****Rating Disclaimer**: Most explicit of content in this story regards later chapters. This story does involve a few briefly disturbing themes/instances involving suicide and self-mutilation (and technically fratricide). The gore factor in this story isn't much worse than we've seen in past _Xenosaga_ games (inside or outside North America). If you survived the PS2 trilogy (which I certainly hope so, else you may not fully understand this story/this fic may have spoilers), you should be fine with "PATHOS." Still, reader discretion is advised.

**COMMENTS**: More or less, this idea was heavily inspired by various one-liners Albedo says throughout Episodes I and II (namely a battle line during Episode II's final boss, along the lines of "have you forgotten how to tear someone apart?"). I found that some of Albedo's provocations hinted not just to Jr.'s deadly abilities, but quite possibly to the chance that Albedo witnessed his brother's killer instinct on a few occasions, and not just around the Miltian Conflict. There's also a very minimal amount of canon evidence intricately explaining the Red Dragon mode. In my opinion, the trilogy only gave us the bare minimum details about it, but I know I still had a few questions after Episode III. As we all know, the U.R.T.V.s _are_ weapons, essentially killing machines. Thus, this story serves as a more concrete example/impression of my thoughts on the aforementioned subjects (and probably my expertise at reading way to deeply into things).

Oh, and as far as pairings are concerned with this story, there's going to be very minimal along the lines of 'romance:' just some references to Rubedo/Sakura. Readers may/may not consider some scenes with Rubedo and Albedo as yaoi, depending on your personal taste. As the author, I didn't originally intend yaoi, but feel free to consider this story's 'pairings' however you like.

With that, please enjoy and you're more than welcomed to review!

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PATHOS: Prologue / Chapter I

_Aiselne Nocturnus_

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**Prologue**

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It is always difficult to pick one's self up following a tragedy. After losing a loved one, those left behind often wonder if they have any purpose for waking up in the morning, let alone 'move on' with their 'life.' The grieving process is often long and difficult, but alas, it must be done before one can possibly 'move on.'

Unfortunately, when one is a Designer Child at the Yuriev Institute, undergoing any form of a 'grieving process' is dubbed a 'privilege.' Since their father preferred to consider the U.R.T.V.s as 'weaponry' rather than 'children,' Dmitri was not generous in providing his kids with the 'privileges' any normal child may inherently receive. Besides, grieving processes took time, and time was not something in abundant supply at the moment, especially with the Federation Descent Operation scheduled for less than a month away.

And everything seemed to be progressively going to hell.

Dr. Yuriev already voiced his displeasure in the matter, as many factors appeared against his favor at the moment. It was bad enough the Federation abruptly bumped up the date for the Descent Operation, effectively halving the necessary time for preparations from two more months to just one more month. _U-TIC_ was acting progressively suspicious, and all informant data seemed to assume the group was accelerating work rate. And since _U-TIC_ was working faster, those against_ U-TIC_ had to work even faster if they had any intentions of foiling _U-TIC's_ plans with the Zohar. However, the halved deadline was only one portion of Dmitri's endless list of problems.

Despite attempts to compromise the deadline via longer work hours and stricter schedules, any improvements Dmitri expected seemed to be few and far between. He swore to the Federation that his U.R.T.V.s would perform to expectations come time for the Descent Operation, and Dmitri had every intention of living to his word, and not merely for the Federation. Frankly, he did not give a damn about the Federation; this Descent Operation was vital to Dmitri Yuriev's own plans, and his own plans were all he cared about. Unfortunately, progress of such plans seemed to be hindering by the minute, through no fault of his. Dmitri, of course, never blamed himself for these ridiculous impediments. Sadly, U.R.T.V.s were not soulless machines, or Realians with emotion drives that could be switched off if their 'feelings' got in the way of work. Setbacks were to be expected when working with emotionally driven children, however obnoxious these setbacks may be. But whenever these damned setbacks occurred, Dmitri would just set his sights on the bigger picture ahead, a goal that would be worth all of his current aggravations. Nobody ever said the path to immortality would be an easy one, after all.

And so Dr. Yuriev lived under the assumption that if he could keep moving forward in spite of so many setbacks, than his cloned, bioengineered children sure as hell could do the same. He refused to accept the barrage of recent revelations to be excuses for his Designer Children not working to expectations. With the Federation Descent Operation a month away, it was time the U.R.T.V.s learned to detach themselves from such delusional emotions, anyway. The standard units would not have a problem doing so, but the Variants were a much different story, which therein laid the biggest problems.

For such reasons, "PATHOS" was formulated to correct these deficiencies.

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"**Emotion and Tragedy"**

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Lately, everything seemed to be going straight to hell. It was as though matters had been plummeting for the last couple of months, going downhill faster and faster, ultimately destined for a terrible collision.

The earliest date Rubedo could recall events first spiraling downward was the afternoon Albedo learned of his immortality. Whether or not things got worse "because" of that particular event, Rubedo did not know, but days seemed to definitely get progressively darker thereafter. His twin had not recovered well from that devastating afternoon, and with each passing day, Albedo seemed to get further out of help's reach. This distancing was not on a physical sense, either. On the outside, Albedo still remained by his twin's side, but Rubedo constantly wondered what was happening on the _inside_. Albedo had been making a habit of shutting himself off the mental link; none of the U.R.T.V.s could telepathically communicate with him, and vice versa. And while Albedo never had a need, or liking, for conversing with the distasteful standard units, it was rare for him to shut himself off from the two people who mattered most to him.

Whenever this mental cut happened, which was many a day and many a night, Rubedo and Nigredo would attempt to at least make Albedo talk exclusively to them. He did not have to speak to anyone else if he did not want to, just them. When that offer failed to entice the middle child, Nigredo would even add in a more personal incentive: if Albedo desired, he would only have to talk with _Rubedo_, and Nigredo would respect their privacy. Sadly, not even that offer worked. Thus, after so many months of failing to help Albedo in some way, Rubedo and Nigredo backed off, naively convincing themselves that 'when the time was right' and 'when' Albedo was 'ready,' he would 'come to them.' Neither U.R.T.V.s could begin to understand Albedo's dilemma, anyway, nor could they keep waking up to "I don't want to talk," or going to bed after "mind your own business."

By now, Rubedo was beginning to wonder if being mentally disconnected from his twin was perhaps a blessing in disguise. Externally, Albedo still seemed about the same: usually either a tad downtrodden or irritable, but still always grappling onto Rubedo. But _mentally_…Rubedo could not deny that he feared what he might find if and when he finally reconnected with Albedo's mind. Rubedo did not want to discover his brother was too far gone, or worse; the Albedo he knew no longer existed, and in his place was something…monstrous. There was no denying, especially after the other day, that something very dark, very malicious, and very…'wrong' was happening in his twin's subconscious.

Of course, the same could be said about Rubedo, too.

"_If I'm a monster, that means you're a monster, too."_

But that was the point of today's analysis.

"I still don't see how this is going to help," lamented Albedo as he and his two Variant brothers prepared themselves in the white tiled locker room. The area was just as sterile and uninviting of a locale as the rest of the institute's most elite, yet most efficient, areas. The laboratory divisions of the Yuriev Institute always stressed an aura of professionalism and efficiency, complimenting their usage of bioweapons with childlike faces. All dressed in fresh uniforms, the three boys finished getting ready for their newest test, what their father simply called "PATHOS."

Whatever the hell PATHOS was or meant, Dmitri gave few details, which easily made Albedo suspicious enough to second-guess whatever the hell Dad was up to this time. "He keeps bitching about the Descent deadline around the corner, and yet he's the one who keeps wasting time," Albedo complained, frustratingly kicking a nearby locker after just lacing his boots. Lately, his current moods fluctuated from melancholy to anger, and this new-fangled PATHOS test activated the 'anger' mood for today. "Shouldn't we keep practicing in the U-DO simulator instead of this 'PATHOS' thing?"

"PATHOS _is_ a type of anti-U-DO testing, so it qualifies as U.R.T.V. training," Nigredo bluntly explained with his back to his brothers, watching Albedo behind him via the reflection in a wall mirror the youngest brother used to comb his raven hair. Though typically nonchalant, Nigredo's voice lacked just a certain amount of enthusiasm to prove he was no more thrilled about this analysis than Albedo. "The test takes place in the Encephalon anyway, like all the others, so just consider it a new stage of the U-DO simulator." That was how Nigredo considered PATHOS. Even he was given minute details about this new analysis, but knowing he had no authority to question Dmitri, Nigredo kept quiet and did as he was told.

Of course, Nigredo's housebroken obedience to Dmitri's whims irritated the hell out of Albedo. Sadly, pissed or not, Albedo, too, lacked the grounds to defy their father, so he accepted defeat with a snarl and dented another locker with his foot, harder and faster this time. Grumbling under his breath through gritted teeth, Albedo scoffed, "I'd rather be training in that damn subconscious domain-"

"Well, we _can't_," Nigredo interrupted sharply yet quietly, his tone striking enough for Albedo to turn to him. The black-haired boy still kept his back to Albedo, but Nigredo glared at the middle brother through the mirror's reflection. Between Nigredo's words, tone, and that glare his narrowed teal eyes shot, it was enough to shut up Albedo, especially before anything else slipped out of his ranting mouth.

Albedo so nearly shot back another comment to the youngest brother, telling the "baby Variant" mind his own damn business and to leave Albedo to his tirade. But for once, Albedo heeded to the silent message Nigredo's glaring eyes told him; _back off, and quit mentioning…you-know-what…_

Albedo was not necessarily lying about his opinion of PATHOS. He honestly would rather train in the subconscious domain, despite how that place used to drive him out of his skull at times. However, Nigredo did not lie, either. The U.R.T.V.s could not train in the domain anymore, and it was not because the place was no longer challenging enough, or they graduated to higher-level training. Quite frankly, Albedo and the others probably would never know if they 'fully' completed their training in the domain, because the place was now gone, practically erased from existence.

_Just like…Sakura,_ Albedo remembered, his face softening while his violet gaze left Nigredo's reflected eyes. The reason why U.R.T.V.s would no longer train in Sakura Mizrahi's subconscious domain was simple; there was no more subconscious domain to return to, because there was no more subconscious of Sakura. It had been three days since…"it" happened. Frankly, Albedo, himself, was still having a hard time coming to terms with Sakura's death, never mind…

_…Rubedo. _Softly biting his lip, Albedo's amethyst eyes hesitantly descended from Nigredo's mirrored eyelevel to where the white-haired boy's twin sat on a backless bench. Already fully dressed and waiting for his younger brothers to finish up, Rubedo sat in silence. His back faced Albedo and Nigredo, minutely so he would not seem to be gawking at them, but dominantly because Rubedo preferred them not to gawk at _him_. But the isolation was not caused by the undressing/dressing factor, either. Rubedo was just not in the mood to see anyone during his current state, or perhaps he was afraid of others seeing him in his current state. He was, after all, the leader, and leaders were supposed to maintain strong fronts, regardless of how much pain they were undergoing.

Or at least, that was what Dmitri told him:

_"I'm well aware of what happened to Miss Mizrahi, but with the Descent Operation now just a month away, we don't have time to be wasting on foolishness. Besides, I'm not spoiling you U.R.T.V.s with the luxuries of 'normal' children. You're weapons, first and foremost, and weapons do not have any need for heeding to human emotion, never mind grieving a death. Keep that in mind once in a while, Rubedo, especially since you're the leader. It's a leader's duty to maintain a strong front, regardless of how much pain they undergo. I've got enough trouble dealing with your twin brother falling apart all the time; I don't need you doing the same and dragging the others down with you."_

It was so hard for Rubedo not to lash out at the insensitive bastard, but since he knew he could not convince his father otherwise, the boy just sat still and clamped his mouth shut. He knew if he dared to open it, he would just unleash a vociferous cursing tirade Yuriev would just shrug off as emotional nonsense. Plus, Rubedo also feared if he opened his mouth, whatever came out might also be flooded with heart-wrenching sobs, which he knew would not help his situation whatsoever. During his father's lecture earlier that morning, so many ideas whirled through Rubedo's mind, thoughts going so fast he barely could process them before another materialized. The only reason he remembered them all was because they would eventually repeat themselves: a cycle of maddening thoughts through the consciousness of one heartbroken boy.

First and foremost, Rubedo wanted to wipe that smug, carefree expression off Dmitri's face. Rubedo did not care if it was 'wrong' to strike his father. If U.R.T.V.s supposedly lacked the human 'privilege' to mourn the dead, then they also lacked the human privilege to "honor thy father." Furthermore, the bastard deserved a right hook to the jaw, or a swift kick in the balls, or at least a friggen bloody nose, for speaking so casually about Sakura's death.

_Sakura's…death…_

And by being reminded that Sakura was gone, all of Rubedo's anger towards his father would then morph into utter despair. Frankly, if beating the snot out of someone were all it took to ease his pain, such would have made Rubedo's situation so much easier. Unfortunately, even amidst his raging hatred toward Dmitri, Rubedo knew that even if he drove his father into a bloody coma, it would not change anything. It sure as hell would not bring Sakura back, and Rubedo knew she would not want him taking out his anger on others, especially if that anger was due to her death.

Sakura was so kind.

"_Weapons do not have any need for heeding to human emotion, never mind grieving a death."_

And Dmitri was…so cruel.

Dmitri constantly preached that the U.R.T.V.s had no need for human emotions, yet lo and behold, the kids still possessed them. It was so damn hypocritical. If Dmitri believed his Designer Children had no need for emotion, why the hell were they born with such? Sure, they were technically born human, but with all of Yuriev's renowned brilliance, Rubedo failed to see how the scientist could not rig the U.R.T.V.s to be born human, but with their emotions artificially removed. If Dmitri could create bioweapons supposedly powerful enough to eradicate U-DO, modifying them without emotions should not be a problem. Besides the fact, Dmitri seemed hell-bent on convincing his children to disregard their human emotions. If he never wanted his kids to acknowledge emotions, why the hell did he create them with emotions in the first place?! Rubedo just did not understand. Would it not have been better to just make U.R.T.V.s emotionless from the very beginning? It would have probably saved Yuriev much trouble, and more importantly, it would have probably saved Rubedo from the pain he was currently experiencing.

"_Bye, Rubedo! See you tomorrow!"_

If he were born emotionless, Rubedo would not have to endure such pain over Sakura's death. On the other hand, if he were born emotionless, Rubedo would probably not have such fond memories of his brevity with Sakura Mizrahi. And even if he did have those memories, if born emotionless, those memories would not leave him with such warm feelings. Prior to Sakura's death, Rubedo enjoyed going to bed every night while recalling his afternoon with her, playing, laughing, and smiling together. They had only known each other for a short while, but numerous memories made up for the lack of time.

Games were common amongst him, her, Albedo, and Nigredo: tag, board and card games, "Hide and Go Seek," and various races to see who could reach Sakura's house first. There was that afternoon in the winter domain where the four friends competed to see who could build the best snowman. Truthfully, none of the kids had much contact with the 'outside world' (where 'normal' children built 'normal' snowmen and did 'normal' things). Thus, their versions of snowmen resembled weird mounds of snow with lopsided smiley faces, crafted according to Rubedo's partial recollection of snowmen he read in a book. But none of the children cared, and all of them wound up with big smiles on their faces from constantly laughing at how goofy each other's snowman looked. The comments were often snide and crude, but all in good childhood fun:

"_Your snowman looks like something Gaignun hacked up!"_

_"Oh yeah?! Well what's YOURS supposed to look like, anyway?! Like' something…uh…something…I uh…hey, quit laughing, Rubedo!"_

_"You gotta' be a LOT quicker when zinging back insults, Albedo."_

_"…Yeah?! Well…just you wait!"_

_"If I wait any longer your snowblob's gonna' melt and look worse than it already does!"_

_"Oh YEAH?! Well…at least mine doesn't look as dumb as Nigredo's!"_

_"Hey you two, don't mix ME into your bickering. Besides, MY snowman beats BOTH of yours by a long shot."_

_"My ass it does! Albedo's right; what Gnosis did you base YOURS off, Nigredo?"_

_"I prefer to call it 'abstract'."_

_"That's a new definition for abstract. Sure' you don't mean 'crap'?"_

_"That's funny looking at whatever thing YOU built over there."_

_"He's right! Yours is the weirdest of all, Rubedo! It looks like…like…umm…hey, I said stop laughing!"_

_"Boys! Boys! We didn't have this contest just to fight. Come' on, now; ALL of our snowmen look nice, and I think Rubedo's is cute."_

_"…Um…hehe…really, Sakura?"_

_"Yes!"_

_"…Well…heh…t-thanks."_

_"Oh boy, here he goes again."_

_"I'm gonna' hurl."_

_"Oh can it, you two!"_

_"Hehe, come' on guys! Let's play another game before you leave! Last one to my house is a rotten egg!"_

Truly and honestly, that was the last fun-filled day the four of them spent together. Their comical snowman contest happened about a week ago, and it was one of those rare days that, against all odds, everything seemed to go right. Even Albedo was in a chipper mood that day, which brightened Rubedo's spirits tremendously. Everything else seemed to unfold based on that good mood, or perhaps it was more of a good omen. Whatever it was, it was a tremendously happy day.

It was so hard to believe that just a few days later, Sakura would be dead. Mere hours before "it" happened, the white snow in the winter domain felt particularly frigid, probably another omen. Yet, Sakura was still her cheerful self, so nobody thought otherwise. The foursome played and laughed, just as always. Rubedo never imagined when he bided Sakura farewell that afternoon that he would never again get the chance to say "Morning', Sakura!" ever again, nor would he hear her reply, "Good morning, Rubedo!" either.

Instead, all he heard was "thirty minutes ago, Miss Mizrahi committed suicide," in that casual, blunt, monotonous voice that made Rubedo want to tear his father to pieces. The redhead just could not stand Dmitri's unfazed tone of voice, practically saying, "Sakura's dead, but I don't give a rat's ass." Three days after the fact, Rubedo still held such resentful and violent notions about his father, perhaps more religiously than he did upon first hearing that Sakura died.

Of course, back when he first heard the news, Rubedo did not believe it. He, and everyone else, knew Sakura suffered from a central nervous system disorder, and in most cases, it was terminal. He never liked to read too deeply into it, but on occasions, Rubedo would remind himself that for however happy and cheerful Sakura appeared, she was still sick…very sick. But most of the time, his hopeful side overrode his sense of logic, especially when Dr. Mizrahi first told Rubedo how it was his particular wavelength that improved Sakura's health. Rubedo did not feel proud or arrogant, just hopeful…hopeful that he could save her. Sadly, after learning how Sakura killed herself, Rubedo felt the polar opposite about himself.

Rubedo failed to save Sakura.

He did not believe it…not right away, anyway, and three days afterward, a part of Rubedo still did not believe it. Sakura was too cheerful and optimistic of a girl to take her own life. The puzzle pieces just did not fit! Even though she suffered from her CNS disorder, Sakura never once, at least in Rubedo's presence, complained or acted depressed or hopeless about her fate. He never heard her say things like "there's no hope for me," or "there are days I feel like giving up," or anything of the sort! Sure, there were probably moments Sakura felt hopeless, probably during her lonely days before meeting Rubedo, Albedo, and Nigredo. However, she never let those problems get the best of her, at least before her friends. Rubedo knew he certainly could not pride himself on being so self-controlled, especially during that summer afternoon when Sakura brought up his mother. Whoever the woman may be, Rubedo still did not want to know. Regardless, he was never good at maintaining his temper to begin with, though that was no excuse for him to get so downcast in Sakura's presence, even if the spoken subject was very disheartening.

And yet, there Sakura was, a girl with a terminal illness, who for all intents and purposes had a right to be sad and had 'first dibs' on behaving depressed. Anyone else would instantly sympathize with Sakura's terminal plight, while shrug off Rubedo's family problems and tell him to suck it up. But not Sakura. Instead of giving into her rightful misery, she let her heart go out to Rubedo, and was the one to brighten his spirits, when it technically should have been the other way around. Rubedo should have been the one cheering Sakura up, but then again, Sakura never got to the point of needing to be cheered up. That was what made her so…special. That was what made her…Sakura.

That was why he did not believe she was capable of suicide. All grieving processes involved a certain degree of natural denial, but this was different. Rubedo refused to believe Sakura took her own life. His denial had nothing to do with the fact of whether or not she was truly dead; it was just a denial regarding her 'means' of death.

As far as the denial concerning whether or not he truly believed she was gone or not, well…that was still debatable. It had only been three days since Sakura's death. Although Rubedo's bastard of a father felt three days was an inexcusable amount of time to grieve, in any other case, three days would be too soon to 'move on.' Sadly, under the circumstances, Rubedo and the others were not given much time to grieve, never mind sort through their thoughts and attempt to get back to normalcy. Rubedo sometimes wondered if Dmitri built the U.R.T.V.s with emotions just so they could face heartbreaking moments like these…and be restrained from a full recovery. Perhaps it was some sort of sadistic pleasure for the asshole.

It sure as hell was no pleasure for Rubedo, nor was it pleasant for anyone else who deeply loved the deceased Sakura Mizrahi.

_"I just…wanted to say farewell to the three of you…before I left."_

_"Where are you going, Dr. Mizrahi?"_

_"I'm…not exactly sure at the moment, Rubedo. But since I don't have any reason to stay at the institute anymore…well, I guess I just need to start fresh."_

_"Are you…going back home with Sakura's dad?"_

_"…No. After what's happened, Joachim and I have decided to spend some time apart. We haven't been getting along very well lately, anyway, and we feel some separation will help us to collect our thoughts. We certainly can't do so if we keep arguing, that's for sure, so separation is probably for the best, at least for a little while."_

_"Oh…I see. Sakura…would probably be sad to hear that."_

_"She would, but…I think she'd understand, too."_

_"Probably._

_"…Dr. Mizrahi…why don't you stay here at the institute, just for a while longer? I'm sure Dad would allow it."_

_"He already has, and offered the same. But the truth is, Rubedo, I…I can't stay here any longer. It has nothing to do with you children, or even your father. But after spending so much time here, and…having it end like this…"_

_"Yeah…I guess I can understand."_

_"But I want you to know something."_

_"…What?"_

_"Despite all that's happened, and…how it all ended, I'm very grateful to have met you children."_

_"…You're…you're just saying that, Doctor."_

_"No, I'm not. Especially you, Rubedo; you gave me something that I will always cherish. You brought back my daughter. Even though I only got to know her through your accounts, I still felt like I was able to reconnect with her. My husband has been so determined to revive her. I too, wanted to save her, but I also understood the truth. I decided that all I really wanted was to just savor whatever remaining time we had left, instead of fruitlessly delaying the inevitable. You let me do that, Rubedo."_

_"I wish…I could've done more..."_

_"There was nothing more you could have done…anymore than I could've."_

_"That's not good enough. You…you said it yourself that my wavelength helped her. It was improving her condition! So…h-how could this happen?!"_

_"She didn't die by her disorder, Rubedo. She…she chose to end her life."_

_"It doesn't make sense, damn it! Just a few days ago all four of us were playing in the snow, and Sakura was…Sakura was so happy! That's how she ALWAYS was! Happy! Why in God's name would she want to…to…?"_

_"I don't know, Rubedo. I…I wish I could understand this, myself. But maybe…maybe Sakura wasn't as happy as she led us to believe. Maybe…"_

_"No! Doctor, you remember what I told you about our last dive, right? Sakura was all smiles that day! We raced and afterwards had a big snowball fight, and even when she got hit she'd still laugh! She was having fun, we ALL were! Every time we met her she'd be h-happy. She'd be the first to smile, she'd be the first to laugh…it was a-always HER! There's no way someone like that…there's no way S-Sakura…could ever…e-ever…"_

_"Rubedo…"_

He did not want to remember anymore at the moment. Safe to assume, Rubedo remembered enough to dampen his spirits right back down to where they had been three days ago. Rubedo never felt so horrible before in his life, and his father's Goddamned insensitivity seemed to only make matters worse. No doubt, this morning's earlier lecture in Dmitri's office over Rubedo's leadership was due to what happened with Dr. Mizrahi yesterday. Although Juli met with the male Variants in one of the cleared diving chambers, there was no guarantee that nobody was watching the scene via surveillance. It was fact that Dmitri liked to keep close watch on his children. Odds were, Dmitri was _not_ touched by Juli's farewell, and watching the oldest Variant start pouring his heart out probably did make the scene any more impressive, either. However, if that bastard bothered to understand human emotion, Dmitri too, might sympathize and consider his son's actions justifiable.

Dr. Mizrahi, on the other hand, understood, which was why she took Rubedo into her arms and affectionately held the redhead as he wept bitterly. Already, Juli and Rubedo had become close during the months of the link master relaying information about Sakura to her mother. He never said or deeply pondered it until after yesterday's scene, but Juli Mizrahi was about the closest Rubedo had to a mother figure. In retrospect, he wondered if Juli's embrace was the same as a mother lovingly enveloping her child. Odds were, Rubedo would probably never know what it felt like having a warm relationship with his mother, so yesterday was probably the closest Rubedo would ever come to understanding such a topic. But at the time, Juli's embrace was both maternal, and compassionate, radiating the sympathy of one who was undergoing identical emotional turmoil. Rubedo and Juli were friends, but their greatest common ground was how they both loved Sakura…and were both devastated by her death.

Yesterday was about the most legitimate 'grieving' Rubedo did since Sakura's suicide. The first few days were spent in utter disbelief and denial, amidst Dmitri's unending training schedule, but yesterday seemed to help Rubedo start realizing the truth. He still denied Sakura killed herself, but at least finding some truth in Juli's eyes started confirming that suicide or not, Sakura was undoubtedly gone. However, grieving processes are never completed overnight, despite what Rubedo's damned father might believe.

Alas, Dmitri still managed to drill some sense into Rubedo. Number 666 was a U.R.T.V., and a leader, no less, and those titles meant Rubedo did not have the luxury to mourn Sakura anymore. His father never said it outright, but Rubedo sensed that Dmitri already believed Rubedo grieved 'enough' after that scene with Dr. Mizrahi. The very way his father condescendingly spoke to Rubedo was the identical tone Dmitri commonly used when scolding Albedo for crying all the time. It obviously annoyed, and more accurately embarrassed, their father to have bioweapons acting so childish, even if U.R.T.V.s were children. Sadly, that was not how Dmitri Yuriev viewed his Designer Children. U.R.T.V.s were weapons, nothing more, and weapons do not feel, never mind cry.

Rubedo had half a mind to prove to his father how wrong Dmitri was, but the boy always feared he would only wind up making more of a fool out of himself in Yuriev's eyes. And so, just like Nigredo, Rubedo obediently did as he was told. The redhead figured his father was not worth the effort in trying to convert, anyway. Whether he or Dmitri liked it or not, Rubedo was still hurting…he still had emotions…nothing could change that. But try as he may, Dmitri still managed to find a way to disregard the humanities of his children.

PATHOS was a perfect example.

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**TO BE CONTINUED**

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**A/N**: Well, how is it so far? I know, PATHOS is still rather ambiguous right now, but it'll be embellished soon, so enjoy the drama until then. Chapters I+II are just prologues to set the stage for what's to come: more angsty goodness. I'm notorious for this kind of angsty crap, so be prepared. Onto Chapter II!

Lastly, I'm not sure if anyone read the "original first release" of this story, which was actually rated "M" before I more carefully revised the story (not to be confused with "toning-down" the story. Rest assured, the version you are reading has not been toned-down at all. I merely rated the first release "M" because I was [admittedly] paranoid that later chapters would be considered "too explicit" for a "T" rating. However, after careful reevaluation and various reviews, this story works fine rated "T.") Anyway, I apologize for the first release's quality, which contained a few typos that slipped through my spell-checker (neither I nor technology is perfect). This fanfic's been cleaned-up and reloaded a few times, so you should be reading a pretty polished story. Of course, if you notice any other pain-staking typos, don't hesitate to tell me. I do accept constructive criticism, and it'll help me provide you readers with a better reading experience. ^_^ This particular story means a great deal to me, and I want it to be as good as possible.

Reviews are gladly appreciated. I'm curious to see what readers think about my first Xenosaga fanfic.


	2. The Truth

**COPYRIGHT NOTE**: I don't own _Xenosaga_

**COMMENTS**: Onto Chapter II, this time with Rubedo and Albedo goodness. Admittedly, this chapter is surprisingly shorter than all the others, but it was originally part of the material you'll later see in Chapter III. Obviously, I cut the chapters in half to make it easier for you readers to read, though I can't say the same applies to later "longer" chapters. I do apologize in advance for the length of this story, but I actually prefer writing long stories like these. (Side note: You may/may not believe this, but I actually once wrote one chapter for another fandom's fanfic that was 50 freakin' pages long! The fanfic hasn't been published yet, and I'm not sure what the heck I'll do with that particular chapter whenever I finally publish it – cut it in 2/3 chapters, obviously, because seriously…who the hell wants to read a 50-page chapter?!). Anyway, since my publications are (at best) once a week, I do try to make the wait worthwhile.

So with all that, I certainly hope you're enjoying this story so far!

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**PATHOS: Chapter II**

_Aiselne Nocturnus_

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"**The Truth"**

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"Rubedo? _Rubedo_!"

Only the last call finally drove the redhead out of his miserable stream of thought, causing Rubedo to blink and lift his head, glancing over his shoulder to his younger brothers. Both Albedo and Nigredo stood behind him, neither doing anything in particular at the moment except staring rather worriedly at the eldest Variant. No longer was Nigredo combing his hair, or Albedo throwing his locker-denting tantrum. Both boys just stood there, each wearing a level of impatience on their faces as they waited for Rubedo to respond.

Rubedo was not particularly fond of the way his brothers stared at him, though this self-consciousness was obviously implanted by Dmitri's earlier lecture, practically insulting Rubedo's pride over his right to mourn. Since then, Rubedo found himself watching his behaviors more closely, in the event his leadership mixed with his emotions. Frankly, while Dmitri was probably happy to see one more Variant form a tighter grip on his human emotions, the whole affair made Rubedo feel uncomfortable. Having Nigredo and Albedo staring at him as though the link master just grew another head did not help matters, either. "What?" Rubedo finally replied, his tone average but with just enough edge to exhibit his irritation and discomfort.

Fortunately, the weird looks on his brothers faces softened rather quickly thereafter, as if Rubedo's voice had the power to do so like Nigredo's. Albedo, in particular, looked relieved, and it did not take long for his lips to curve in a grateful smile. Nigredo, being the more serious and enigmatic brother, was less obvious, but his minute nod proved he was just as relieved as Rubedo's twin.

"We were calling you for over five minutes, Rubedo," Nigredo explained, stealing a glance at Albedo before continuing. "You didn't answer, so we got a little nervous," _Albedo especially_, Nigredo wanted to add, but that was already obvious by the reassured expression on the middle child's face.

Not intending to worry them so much, Rubedo was quick to apologize, "Sorry. My mind's just been wandering a lot lately." It was not technically a lie. One of the first things Dmitri scolded Rubedo over was how Sakura's death significantly lowered the boy's concentration and cognition in training, due to his mind wandering in and out of focus. Based on feedback from tests, Rubedo's performance was generally dropping on all levels, mental and physical, as the link master had not been eating or sleeping well for three days, either. The whole point of this morning's lecture was for Yuriev to drill some sense into Rubedo to get his act together. Rubedo was, after all, the leader.

Since Albedo and Nigredo had been alongside Rubedo for the past terrible days, they also saw the signs of Rubedo's pain. Three days of poor nutrition, sleep, and cognition clearly took their toll on the link master, rendering Rubedo a miserable shadow of his typically rambunctious self. Just looking at the darkness lining his clouded blue eyes was enough evidence for Nigredo to conclude Rubedo was far from recovery. "Are you sure you're up to this?" the youngest asked, cocking his head slightly for emphasis. "You barely got through yesterday's simulation."

Rubedo could have lived without that particularly 'lovely' reminder. However, it was not Rubedo's fault that their friggen father tossed the U.R.T.V.s back into the Encephalon for another training exercise just two hours after the episode with Juli. Rubedo had no idea how the hell he managed to get through that test, though he credited his survival on the fact that his outright resentment of Dmitri overrode his sorrow. The only thing that kept the leader from breaking down in the Encephalon was Rubedo's constant curses and laments over his father preoccupied him. At least the tirade prevented the tears.

Turning back around to stare at his hands on his lap, Rubedo sighed deeply. He hated feeling so melancholic, but knew he had better keep himself together for now. Later, alone, Rubedo could do as he pleased, but not now. "I'll be okay," Rubedo unenthusiastically reassured, his voice not even convincing himself, never mind his brothers. However, "I _am_ the leader, after all," though he spoke of leadership as a burden, not an elation. In a perfect world, Rubedo would have told Dmitri to take his damn title of 'leader' and shove it up his father's ass. Alas, U.R.T.V.s lived in anything but a perfect world.

Rubedo never often talked very highly of being the link master. The title was an obligation, not an honor. Albedo could only recall a handful of times when Rubedo spoke of his leadership without some pint of displeasure in his voice. It did not help that the title was something Dmitri taunted Rubedo with in the event the boy slacked off or forgot his place. Albedo had a feeling if Rubedo willed it, he would easily give up his role as leader for living a more 'normal,' simpler life. Hell, Rubedo would probably throw away this entire lifestyle for something better and more fulfilling if given the opportunity.

But Albedo prayed his twin would decline. Even if Rubedo would be happy leaving this life for another, Albedo did not want him to go. In leaving this life, Rubedo would leave his twin, too, and Albedo could not handle such abandonment. The younger twin was still barely coming to the realization that sooner or later, one way or another, that bitch called 'destiny' would take his precious Rubedo away from him. Separation via _natural_ death was hard enough to accept, and Albedo could not bear it if his twin somehow willingly sped up the process.

Which was why these past few days scared the hell out of Albedo. Ever since the news of Sakura's death, Albedo helplessly watched as his other half sank further and further into despair. Last night was the hardest for Albedo, since Rubedo ate nothing at dinner, and eventually left the cafeteria after the millionth nag from Nigredo and Albedo to eat something. Watching his brother deteriorate, and not being able to help him, tore at Albedo's heart.

_"Well, now you know how Rubedo and I have felt these past few months, fruitlessly trying to help YOU, Albedo."_

Had Nigredo's words not been so powerful, Albedo would have slugged the baby Variant for being so frikken cocky. Albedo did come alarmingly close to striking Nigredo, to the point that the middle child's right fist balled dangerously tight under the dinner table. The fist was so well concealed that Nigredo would not have had a clue until his nose started bleeding profusely. Alas, mere seconds before Albedo launched the attack, his right fist found something more 'pivotal' to accomplish. Instead, the right fist uncurled and struggled alongside the left hand to wipe the tears that relentlessly spilled down Albedo's raw cheeks. The middle Variant could never stand being rejected, especially from Rubedo.

However, Albedo knew he was getting a taste of the same cruel medicine he had been dishing his brothers for the past few months, too. Acknowledging that Nigredo was right was not one of Albedo's strong points, but this one time, Albedo admitted it. Contrary to what his siblings believed concerning his mental disconnection from them these past few months, Albedo was well aware of their efforts to help him. He just chose not to accept their aid, because what he was trying to do was something Albedo did not want Rubedo and Nigredo to unearth. If they ever did know the truth…Albedo did not want to even ponder such a possibility.

But now the tides had changed, and Rubedo was going down the same depressed path his brother traversed, but for entirely different reasons. Never did Albedo dream Sakura's death would affect Rubedo this dramatically. Albedo expected Rubedo to be sad, but being the typically energetic, happy-go-lucky kid Rubedo always behaved, Albedo figured his twin would bounce back to his old self in no time. But now 'Day 3' rolled around and Rubedo did not seem to be improving, and it did not help that he had three days of poor rest and sustenance piled onto him. It was torturous for Albedo, and made him wonder if he should just tell his heartbroken brother the truth.

_The truth…_ It was often a difficult thing to say, but it was always the 'right' thing to say, too. Albedo knew Rubedo deserved the truth, and even Nigredo and Sakura's mother deserved the truth. It did not help that Albedo could not get yesterday's scene with Dr. Mizrahi out of his head. It was that day Albedo realized Rubedo was not going to bounce back to his old self anytime soon. Albedo was almost grateful to discover Juli was leaving, since he figured the topic of Sakura's death would leave along with her mother. Unfortunately, Albedo learned how naive, and ignorant, he was when he first heard his twin's voice crackle while describing their last play date with Sakura. It was so foreign to see Rubedo cry like that, right in front of his two brothers and Dr. Mizrahi, no less. Albedo was the one usually credited with making scenes like these, the one known for turning on his waterworks and Rubedo the one to shut them off. This was not to say Albedo never saw his older brother cry, but never to the lachrymose extent seen in yesterday's episode with Juli.

It was all the more proof of how devastated Sakura's death left Rubedo, and it twisted another knife in Albedo's heart just watching Rubedo. The whole time, Albedo envied Dr. Mizrahi, though not necessarily in a spiteful sense. Essentially, Albedo just wanted to be the one to comfort Rubedo. The younger brother wanted hold him, and more importantly tell Rubedo how sorry he was: sorry for not realizing the extent of Rubedo's pain, and dominantly sorry for not telling him the truth in the first place. Alas, there was no room for Albedo within Juli and Rubedo's embrace. Thus, the younger twin stood idle next to Nigredo and watched the tragic scene through purple eyes filled with guilty tears.

Albedo's conscience kept probing him as obnoxiously as an insect insistently buzzing around him, never flying away no matter how many times he attempted to shoo it. Like Rubedo, for the past few days, Albedo could not boast a good night's sleep, either. Every night was the same; he would watch Rubedo toss and turn. The older boy was fortunate to get a few hours of sleep, rest usually induced via exhaustion of either restlessly demolishing his bed or quietly crying himself to sleep. Being unable to help Rubedo rewarded Albedo with a few nights of sleep credited to sobbing, too. But dominantly, the major reason Albedo could not sleep was because of a little something called _the truth._

It was driving Albedo insane. So many times Albedo just wanted to scream it at the top of his lungs for the whole damn universe to hear. Of course, Albedo could care less about what the universe knew, for he just cared about Rubedo. Alas, there in laid the problem, because Albedo knew if he told Rubedo the truth…

_He'd hate me!_ Albedo's mind would constantly tell him, threatening him with the rejection he feared so direly. _He'd think YOU killed Sakura and he'd HATE you and LEAVE you FOREVER!!_ That was not something Albedo was wiling to risk. Essentially, Albedo could only pick one of two options:

1.) Never tell anyone anything. Everyone, even Rubedo, would eventually get over Sakura's death and move on, and Albedo would be safe. All Albedo would have to do was live with the nagging guilt for the rest of his immortal life. Perhaps it was only fair.

Or…

2.) Tell Rubedo that Sakura did _not_ kill herself. Tell Rubedo the whole 'suicide' thing was a fib Albedo concocted to hide the truth. Tell Rubedo how Sakura actually sacrificed herself to save Albedo's life. Tell Rubedo Albedo really did not hate Sakura, but had just been selfishly jealous the whole time. Tell Rubedo she gallantly accepted the attack by U-DO and spared Albedo from the fatal hit. _Tell Rubedo_ the girl he loved was dead on his twin brother's account! _Tell Rubedo_ it was all Albedo's fault! _Tell Rubedo_ he had every right to hate his brother and leave Albedo…

_Tell Rubedo!_

Albedo was not brave enough. Whether it was the right thing to do or not, he could not bring himself to tell Rubedo the truth about Sakura Mizrahi's death. Odds were, Rubedo would not be happy about Albedo's deception, nor would anyone else close to Sakura. They would all leave Albedo, punishing him by abandoning him and leaving the white-haired boy alone for all eternity. The thought alone stung his violet eyes with oncoming tears, leaving Albedo with one choice.

_Never tell Rubedo. Never tell anyone_. Albedo was willing to endure an eternity of maddening guilt instead of losing his loved ones sooner than destiny planed. At least when Rubedo and Nigredo finally did die and leave him behind, Albedo would have the companionship of guilt. Such was not comforting, but Albedo willingly accepted it.

So in the meantime, Albedo blinked back his tears and painfully watched his twin suffer through the past three days. Knowing he was indirectly the cause of such pain made Albedo feel his guilt multiply, but he kept his mouth shut. He did not hate Sakura as much as he originally thought, but he still did not value her enough to think she was worth losing Rubedo. That still did not mean Albedo considered her 'completely' valueless, for Sakura must have meant something to leave Rubedo in such an uncommonly broken state. Would Rubedo shed as many tears if Albedo died? Albedo instantly chastised himself for pondering such a stupid question. _As if you'll ever know. People don't mourn the deaths of those who can't die!_ Albedo genuinely abhorred his regenerative powers…his immortality…his curse. He hated it all.

But Albedo certainly did not hate Rubedo. The red-haired Variant was Albedo's other half; the part he often wished had never been separated from him in the first place. There were dreams, rare but warm, Albedo would have where him and his twin were still conjoined, and he felt more secure in those fantasies than he did in reality. Rubedo would always be just a glance away, and Albedo would never have to fear looking over his shoulder and seeing nothingness. But eventually, Albedo would awaken from those blissful chimeras, look over his shoulder, and find the very thing he dreaded. And then he would cry out, startling Rubedo from his own dreams, and Nigredo would usually get caught in the screaming wake-up call, too. Unable to stand the raving loneliness, Albedo would run to his twin's bed and bury himself in Rubedo's arms, a feeble attempt at trying to undo their physical detachment. Rubedo would just hold his wailing brother, innocently thinking Albedo merely awoke from a terrible nightmare…when in fact the middle child had such a wonderful dream.

A dream that would never come true.

Albedo had to remind himself to stop thinking anymore about the depressing subject. Like it or not, he was not going to tell anyone about Sakura, nor would he and Rubedo ever be one again. There was no use in dwelling on the painful topics, especially right now, lest he start crying again, which Albedo did not want prior to a training exercise. Dmitri always frowned upon Albedo whenever the child entered or exited a test in tears. Albedo was in no mood for another one of his father's "pull yourself together! You're a Variant for God's sake" lectures. Following Yuriev's advice for once, Albedo swallowed any potential tears and returned his attention to what truly, and always, mattered most to him: Rubedo.

"Hey," Albedo started, faintly brightening his voice in an attempt to lift his twin's spirits. "Maybe when this PATHOS thing is over, we could do something fun, Rubedo," he offered, exchanging a nod with an agreeing Nigredo. Outside Sakura's domain, it had been a while since the three of them did anything 'fun,' since the past few months had been pretty melancholic. Granted, there were limited 'fun' things U.R.T.V.s could do around the institute, but the Variant boys usually found some entertainment to preoccupy themselves. "We haven't visited the gymnasium just for fun lately." Usually, the gym was used for training purposes to ensure the U.R.T.V.s were in shape for tests in the Encephalon. However, when the gym was not used for specific training, it was freely open for the kids to relinquish pent-up energy, without having them romp around the institute. The best part was it had a large swimming pool that was a joint favorite for the Variant males, and was a godsend on hot, artificial summer afternoons. "We should go swimming again, Rubedo."

The offer sounded good, but Rubedo was not in the mood. Usually, he would actually be the first person to suggest a swim, since Rubedo highly enjoyed it. Swimming was an excellent way to relax or just have fun, especially after a hectic day. He, Albedo, and Nigredo would often race, splash around, or take bets and dares on who was brave enough to dive to the bottom of the ten-foot pool. The gymnasium swimming pool was, and probably would always be, the closest U.R.T.V.s would ever get to visiting a beach-like setting. The only time Rubedo visited a 'beach' was in Sakura's subconscious domain, and at the time, he and his brothers were busy fighting infected U.R.T.V.s. None of them ever got around to actually 'spending a day' at a beach, whether the beach was real or a figment of Sakura's subconscious...

…Rubedo was getting depressed all over again. Although some jovial recreation might do him some good, the link master was just not in the mood today. "I'll pass, thanks," the redhead dejectedly answered, never turning around to notice the disappointed faces on his brothers. "You and Nigredo should go and have fun."

Albedo did not like that suggestion, or anything that meant he would not be alongside his twin for that matter. It did not help that Albedo considered spending 'alone time' with Nigredo to be as invigorating as watching Gaignun lick himself clean and then hack up a hairball. Nigredo was just too damn boring for Albedo's taste, especially when compared to Rubedo's fiery enthusiasm. Plus the fact, Albedo truly wanted Rubedo to tag along, mainly because a lighthearted change in setting would work wonders for the disheartened leader.

"Aw come' on, Rubedo," Albedo tried to coerce, at least attempting to get his twin to turn around and face him. When Rubedo refused, Albedo strode closer to the backless bench, and sat down directly behind his brother, back to back. For a brief moment, Albedo felt himself drift away from the original topic, realizing he unintentionally mimicked his beloved dreams. Just as they were, and as Albedo believed the twins _should_ be, he and his other half were once more attached to the back. It felt so good and intoxicating, and he wondered if Rubedo felt identical. Being like this, Albedo could feel the beating of the other half of his heart, the piece left in Rubedo, and joined with his own heart, Albedo felt complete. It was bliss.

_Rubedo…do you feel the same?_

But just before Albedo got too lost in the fantasy, he felt Rubedo shift, slouching forward and propping himself with his elbows on his thighs. Their backs were only partially connected now, inconveniently below the chest, disabling Albedo from feeling his heart in Rubedo anymore. Saddened, Albedo snapped back to reality, regretfully letting his euphoria pass before anything emotional resulted from his disappointment. Peering over his shoulder, Albedo's face fell at the sight of his disheartened other half. For however brief their 'reconnection' was, it was long enough for Albedo to feel his old heart, and Rubedo's own heart, which was hurting so deeply Albedo momentarily felt the reverberations in the right side of his own chest. The pain quickly passed, vanishing forever, though Albedo knew the same could not be said inside Rubedo.

_Rubedo…_

"You really should try and get a change of scenery, Rubedo," Nigredo finally interjected, trying his luck at persuasion, seeing how Albedo was not succeeding. Although he was less obvious than Albedo, Nigredo was just as concerned over Rubedo's physical and mental state. Rubedo had not shut himself off the mental link like his twin often did, and based on Rubedo's mental waves, Nigredo was getting nervous. The link master was far from unstable, but Nigredo was not entirely worried about Rubedo's sanity, per se. Nigredo did not want to see his red-haired brother, and best friend, go down the same mentally disturbed path Albedo seemed to take since the afternoon he unearthed his immortality. This worried Nigredo, but still not as much as something…_else_.

Something else…that might take full advantage of Rubedo's weak mental state.

Nigredo did not want matters to come to _that_.

"_Attention U.R.T.V. Variant unit numbers 666 through 669,"_ a monotone voice announced over the intercom, cueing the three boys to perk up at their call._ "Please report to Diving Lab #3 for PATHOS analysis. Repeat, U.R.T.V. Variants 666 through 669 report to Diving Lab #3 for PATHOS analysis."_

"And here we go again with this damn PATHOS thing," Albedo grumbled, rolling his eyes at the inconvenient timing. He had better things to do than waste his time with his father's stupid PATHOS test! Albedo much rather focus his energy on helping Rubedo. Alas, all three Variants knew if they did not promptly leave for Lab #3, they would hear about it later from their father. It was never in the children's best interest to make Dmitri call them twice. Regardless if it was not their father actually voicing the announcement, it was definitely Dmitri who issued the order to the announcer.

Knowing they had better get moving, Rubedo took a deep breath before pulling himself up, fully detached from his twin brother. "Well, let's go," he said unenthusiastically as he sluggishly headed for the locker room exit, motioning with a hand for Albedo and Nigredo to follow. The redhead's attitude was certainly no incentive for anyone to do as he said, but the younger Variants nonetheless did so, exchanging worried glances. Rubedo's demeanor was certainly not going to impress their father, and Albedo and Nigredo had a feeling it would be a miracle if Rubedo got through today's analysis.

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**TO BE CONTINUED**

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**A/N**: Like I said before, this story will kinda' squeak the border on twincest implications, though I don't consider this fanfic a full-blown Rubedo/Albedo yaoi story like others online. Nevertheless, I'm quite fond of the twins' bond (well, I'm obsessed with it, actually), thus this story is going to have several "close" segments between the two. More is ahead in Chapter III, when some of the mysteries behind PATHOS will finally be revealed.

So, how good/bad did I do in this chapter? Lemmie know in a review, please. I'm also interested in hearing any impressions on the semi-Rubedo/Albedo-ness throughout this story. Are you (like me) who thinks it's more "brotherly love," or does it lean closer to yaoi? Most reviewers seem to agree with the first rather than the latter, but I have no problem if anybody considers this story yaoi, either. I love hearing people's different interpretations!


	3. The PATHOS Experiment

**COPYRIGHT NOTE**: I don't own _Xenosaga_

**COMMENTS**: I'm well aware that the first two chapters did not divulge much concerning PATHOS. However, Chapters I+II were meant to establish a sense of time (regarding when "PATHOS" takes place during Rubedo's life) and character mindsets (ie Rubedo's anxieties over Sakura and Albedo). The content of Chapters I+II will play a much larger role later on when PATHOS starts getting darker and more intense. But now your patience has been rewarded and more light will be shed on PATHOS. As you can guess by this chapter's title, Chapter III finally gets the ball rolling on embellishing the PATHOS experiment.

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PATHOS: Chapter III

_Aiselne Nocturnus_

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"**The PATHOS Experiment"**

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As Nigredo and Albedo figured, Dmitri was not pleased with the way Rubedo sauntered into Diving Lab #3. The redhead looked like a zombie, instead of the leader the boy knew he was supposed to act like. Apparently, everything Dmitri told Rubedo this morning about taking his leadership role more seriously went on deaf ears, which irritated Dmitri. The man did not like to repeat himself a second time, and whenever he did, he made damn sure a 'third time' would never happen. Alas, now was certainly not the time to lecture Rubedo again, since the lab was set and ready to go for the current test. One thing was for sure, Rubedo had better get his act together for this specific analysis: time was too limited for nonsense.

Especially since this PATHOS test was essentially for the redhead's benefit.

The three male Variants lined up side by side before their father, while Dr. Yuriev stood before a series diving capsules. Lab #3 did not look strikingly different from the typical diving labs used to enter Sakura's subconscious domain. It was still a white and gray sterile environment, as dull and uninviting as the rest of the institute's research areas. However, different diving labs contained unique diving equipment for distinct diving destinations. Although all diving labs worked in conjunction with the U.M.N. Encephalon, unique dives needed special equipment dependant on the training exercise. To the untrained eye, Diving Lab #3 looked like all the others, lined with multiple rows of diving capsules; one section for the standard U.R.T.V.s and another for the Variants. However, Dmitri was well aware of how different this lab was from the others, as it was specifically built to accommodate experimentations via PATHOS.

With the Variants assembled, Dmitri fixed his glasses and then began the briefing of the children's current test. "As I have already told you, your next assessment will be done through the PATHOS analysis, a very unique type of anti-U-DO training geared specifically for one purpose."

Rubedo blinked at his father's enigmatic choice of words. Dmitri Yuriev was not the type of man who 'beat around the bush.' Dmitri was direct, so direct he had no qualms about voicing his opinion on his own children's absurd emotions. Why the hell his dad enjoyed keeping this PATHOS test a big secret was unknown to Rubedo. "And what exactly _is_ it?" the leader asked, trying to get to the point, himself. He hated to admit it, but Rubedo knew he got his point-blank directness from his father, something the child felt indifferently about.

"The term 'PATHOS' is an acronym for 'Preemptive Ascendancy Testing Host Operational Simulation'," Dmitri explained, casually folding his hands behind his back. "To put it simply, it is an Encephalon simulation that trains and evaluates a Variant's capabilities in harnessing his or her unique powers. You have already trained in the Encephalon and experimented with your abilities in the event they were required. However, you have not had specific training in harnessing those abilities." Pausing, Yuriev focused his attention exclusively on Rubedo. "You are a prime example of that, Rubedo."

The boy did not like the condescending tone his father used when speaking such words, but Rubedo had to admit that Dmitri was right. The link master was well aware of 'what' Dmitri was referring to, and it made Rubedo clench his right branded fist tightly.

It was yet another one of the many revelations that occurred recently. The incident happened just before Sakura's death, when Rubedo finally understood his own disturbing power. Originally, Rubedo used to believe his powers were limited to just cellular halt, but apparently there was much more to U.R.T.V. Number 666 than even Rubedo realized. That image of his shadow still haunted the redhead, especially in his dreams, when the tenebrous black beast would tower over him, bearing down upon Rubedo like a predator. However, this demon was not the kind of predator who killed for self-preservation. This was a predator who killed indiscriminately, solely because it _could_ kill and _enjoyed_ killing. It enjoyed the agony of prey, and was intoxicated by the taste of blood, especially innocent blood, as if it were fluid as valuable as such from the Fountain of Youth. It was a monster.

"_If I'm a monster, that means you're a monster, too."_

Rubedo was a monster.

…And Rubedo did not even understand what 'kind' of a monster he was.

As if Dmitri could read the eldest Variant's mind, the father continued his speech. "Today's PATHOS experiment will assist you in learning to control and utilize your power, Rubedo," he spoke, his words visibly grabbing the boy's attention and interest.

"And what exactly…" Rubedo dared to ask, swallowing for a second and bracing himself for the next oncoming revelation. "…Is my power?" He knew it sure as hell could not be anything good, but Rubedo still did not know 'what' it, or _he_, was.

This was not the first secret Dmitri kept from his Designer Children. To be honest, he did not like to give them any more information than necessary, right down to divulging the truth about U-DO, the kids' very anti-existence. And just like the aforementioned, Dmitri did not wish to tell Rubedo any more truth about his power than was needed. Yuriev failed to see how the data would benefit Rubedo, anyway, so Dmitri kept his explanation short. "Simply, you possess a very high-level anti-U-DO power convergent with your superlative wavelength," he briefed, stealing a glance down at Nigredo, who stared up at his father with a knowing look in his teal eyes. "We call this power the 'Red Dragon'."

_'Red Dragon,'_ Rubedo repeated to himself. This was definitely the first he heard of such news, but at the same time, he already did not like it. Rubedo did not like the way Dmitri said the words, and he did not like the way the words sounded, either. 'Red Dragon' did not sound like any benevolent ability, and judging by what happened the other day in the winter domain, Red Dragon was not something Rubedo should pride himself over.

"Now that the Red Dragon mode has been activated it will start unleashing itself more often" Dmitri proceeded, regaining Rubedo's attention, despite the boy's frightened thoughts. Knowing there was a chance of that horrible power reappearing again terrified Rubedo. "With or without your consent, I might add, Rubedo," Yuriev added, making Rubedo discreetly, but visibly, begin to tremble. His father's words were anything but reassuring, and it took a valiant amount of effort on Rubedo's behalf to keep his emotions in check. "And since we can't have the Red Dragon running rampant, especially with the Descent Operation a month away, you will be undergoing PATHOS simulations to better harness that power."

As intimidated as he was, Rubedo was beginning to minutely feel better about this PATHOS experiment. If anything, it was relieving to know there was a sliver of hope for him concerning his power. Rubedo was not foolish enough to think Dmitri was performing these PATHOS tests specifically to put Rubedo's mind at ease; it was obviously a preventative for any disaster the boy might cause. Nevertheless, if Rubedo could not rid himself of the Red Dragon, the next best thing was learning to control it.

So with no other option, Rubedo nodded and willingly obeyed his father. Silently, Dmitri turned and guided the Variants closer to the numerous dive capsules situated further in the lab. The first row of vessels was empty, presumably for the Variants, as there were four. Behind the front row were two other rows, five capsules to each, altogether housing ten standard male U.R.T.V.s. Much to Rubedo and the other Variants' surprise, the standard units appeared slightly older than the other standards Rubedo and his brothers were more familiarized. As opposed to typical U.R.T.V.s appearing around twelve years old, these units appeared closer to fifteen.

"Standard Numbers 330 through 339 will be accompanying you into the Encephalon," furthered Dmitri, surprising the Variants all over again. It was rare for the significantly older U.R.T.V.s to have contact with the newer models. For the most part, the Variants only made contact with units above 500, so seeing their elders was a scarcity. Frankly, Rubedo, Albedo, and Nigredo lived under the assumption that since they rarely saw any unit under 500, such units no longer existed. God only knew how old Numbers 330 through 339 really were, though chances are they were not anywhere near fifteen years old. "The 300-Units were experimental designs built specifically for anti-U-DO wave compression. They are not powerful enough to counteract U-DO but instead constrict its waves via their own." Dmitri then turned back around to give Rubedo his focus.

"You will be learning a similar wave constriction technique in order to suppress the Red Dragon. Right now, we are concentrating on harnessing your power, given the limited time we have before the Descent Operation. Our top priority is making sure the Red Dragon does not activate _against_ your will, namely during the Descent. After you have succeeded in restraining the Red Dragon, you will then be taught how to use it. The 330-Units will teach you one half of the complete ability of harnessing your power."

Rubedo was unsure if he should be grateful for what his father was doing, or horrified over his possession a power that suggested a will of its own. Nonetheless, Rubedo swallowed his fears and kept his thoughts and voice steady. "And what's the _second_ half of the 'complete ability'?"

This question, although innocent from Rubedo's view, was rather nostalgic and even amusing to Dmitri. "The second half is completely up to you, Rubedo, something nobody but yourself can teach you," he discreetly smirked, while the redhead's face was littered with confusion. "I won't repeat our conversation from this morning verbatim, but generally speaking, the second part to controlling the Red Dragon requires effort on your part in controlling those emotions of yours. Emotional trauma is the very stimuli that activates the Red Dragon mode outside the host's own restraints, Rubedo."

That tidbit of information was as much enlightening as it was alarming to Rubedo. _This_ was why Dmitri sat him down earlier and told him to tighten his grip on his emotions. Dmitri probably still wanted Rubedo to reflect a strong, authoritative stance for the other U.R.T.V.s to model. However, more importantly, the whole reason Dmitri wanted Rubedo to become emotionally tougher was _because_ of the Red Dragon. 'Emotional trauma was the very stimuli that activated the Red Dragon mode'! If Rubedo did not harden his heart a bit more, the Red Dragon could continually activate itself on its own accord.

Perhaps it really would have been better if Rubedo had never been born with emotions.

Sensing the dilemma inside Rubedo, Albedo discreetly looked to his twin through the corner of his eye, being mindful for Dmitri not to notice. Albedo, himself, did not quite understand Rubedo's power, though he had been noticing a very odd aura about his twin's mental wave pattern for quite some time. He never told Rubedo, or even Nigredo, about this aura, solely because Albedo did not fully understand it. Interestingly, as time passed these recent months, Albedo noticed the mental discrepancy became more and more noticeable, though Rubedo ironically did not seem to notice it, himself. Because of this, Albedo kept the secret to himself, among many others. Albedo did not see the point in bringing up the subject if he did not understand it, either.

However, as times became more and more taxing, Albedo noticed something keen about Rubedo's wave pattern. Not only had the odd 'aura' been intensifying, but it was starting to bear resemblance to…Albedo's own mental wavelength. The patterns were not identical by any means, but there was no denying a similarity between them: two wave patterns suggesting something indefinitely…'wrong.' Albedo was well aware his sanity had been slipping for some time, and that slip evolved into a fall after he learned about his immortal curse. He was not so far gone as to be unaware of the mania gradually seducing him bit by bit. But what Albedo found odd was how his mental wave pattern, sheer evidence of his growing dementia, seemed to possess the same aura as Rubedo's, or perhaps Rubedo's was starting to resemble Albedo's. Out of the twins, Rubedo was undeniably the more stable, so why was the aura of his mentality mirroring his unstable brother's?

Perhaps Albedo was wrong. Maybe the 'aura' he sensed between the mental waves had nothing to do with sanity or insanity. Perhaps this aura was instead a 'power,' something that was gradually consuming both brothers, and one just happened to be going mad because of it. Maybe not. Albedo certainly did not possess any Red Dragon ability, or at least, he certainly hoped he did not. Albedo had his hands full with his regeneration. But he and Rubedo were once a single body, meaning if Rubedo possessed such frightening power, there was no reason Albedo was different. And then again, God only knew what the hell their father toyed with after the twins' detachment. Most of Albedo's heart was left in Rubedo's body, after all, so who was to say they did not once share the Red Dragon, but it eventually went to Rubedo following separation? Albedo did not understand the situation any better than Rubedo did. However, the middle child was convinced of one factor based on his keen observation of Rubedo's mental pattern.

Whatever it was…this 'Red Dragon'…it was a monster. It possessed a malevolent aura, just as Albedo noticed he, himself, was gaining. These auras were not identical but they were similar, as though they were two different animals of the same species. Albedo understood his own aura, and knew it was the mark of something demonic. If Rubedo's aura was anything like his twin's, then Rubedo was just like Albedo after all. Perhaps the twins were originally born to be one complete anti-U-DO monstrosity.

"_If I'm a monster, that means you're a monster, too."_

His deductions, and his madness, were what prompt Albedo to say those words that day in the winter domain. And despite the unparalleled terror those words induced within Rubedo, Albedo still could not help but feel…happy.

But now, as Albedo peered over at his scared twin, he felt a bit differently than he had the other day. Of course, his sanity was in better check today, too, which was what enabled him to better sympathize with Rubedo's plight. If anything, Albedo understood what it was like to possess a horrifying power he had little control over. Rubedo could not change the fact of possessing the Red Dragon anymore than Albedo could change his possession of regenerative powers. Knowing such made Albedo feel helpless, undeniably how Rubedo also felt.

He and Rubedo really were the same, after all.

_Rubedo…_

- - - - -

Despite how Lab #3's dive pods looked like all the other capsules around the Yuriev Institute, upon closer examination, Lab #3's pods were quite different. As Rubedo stood in the enclosed capsule, his eyes skimmed the interior of the PATHOS-designed pod. It still possessed typical features like the geometric-shaped glass cover and a spinal connection jack to the U.M.N. However, Rubedo also noticed the differences of PATHOS capsules, first and foremost being that the glass was much thicker and even reinforced. Typical dive pods were usually built with two-inch thick, non-reinforced glass, but his particular pod had reinforced glass that was easily three inches thick. Because of this, the outside world was blurrier than usual through the thick glass, but still clear enough for Rubedo to see what was going on around him. He saw enough to notice none of the other dive pods were as decorated as his, which all the more made him wonder what the hell made his so special.

However, there were more disturbing features to his dive pod than reinforced glass. Both of his ankles and both of his wrists were confined in metal restraints, which Rubedo never before saw in any dive pod he was familiar with. The restraints were thick, solid, and cold, especially against his bare wrists. Fortunately, the restraints were not too tight to cut off circulation, but they were snug enough so his small hands could not slip free, even when those hands were slickened by nervous sweat. His whole body was glazed over by the same fluid, his anxiety and discomfort over the situation intensifying with every passing second. Countless times, Rubedo heard someone over the intercom tell him to 'relax,' but Rubedo wondered how the hell anyone expected him to relax under these conditions.

Above all else concerning the bizarre dive pod, Rubedo got _really_ nervous when he caught a glimpse of the spinal connection jack, just before he entered the capsule. The connection jack was always his least favorite part concerning dive pods, namely because it hurt so much, no matter how many times he was stung by the damned things. He, and any other U.R.T.V. that dove into the Encephalon, had a perpetual scar on the back of his neck from the jack's connection into his spinal cord.

Yuriev once, and only once, explained that the back of the neck was the best, and safest, place for a physical connection into U.M.N. Technically, it was the consciousness that enabled the 'body' to enter the Encephalon. But in order for the consciousness to manually enter the U.M.N., a connection between the network and the human brain (the receptacle of the human consciousness) was needed. The connection jacks inside the U.R.T.V. pods served as tiny conduits to the U.M.N., and were injected into the back of the subject's neck, specifically the spinal cord. The natural function of the cord was to send data to the brain through the central nervous system. The cord would carry the U.M.N. connection to the brain, thus connecting the consciousness, followed by the Encephalon materialization of the corresponding body. For these reasons, a connection jack for the spinal cord was better to use, rather than risking any direct connections to the brain. Several of the earliest U.R.T.V.s, even before the 300-Units, had been experimental models that dove into to the U.M.N. via connection jacks directly in their brains. As a result, most units suffered some degree of brain damage, or just became brain dead. Afterwards, the spinal cord connection jacks were implemented, and used ever since.

As much as Rubedo disliked the connection jacks, he was vary familiar with them, too, and knew exactly what a 'typical' one looked like. However, the jack in his PATHOS pod was anything but typical, which frightened him the most. Dmitri had briefed him on the major differences between this PATHOS jack and standard jacks:

"The PATHOS connection jack works just like any other spinal U.M.N. connection jack, and also does the same job of taking you into the Encephalon. However, the jack inside your pod was designed as a safety precaution during PATHOS experimentation. Along with default U.M.N. connection, this jack inserts a high-security subconscious encryption directly into the brain, which serves two functions. It enables us to force-eject you from the Encephalon if necessary, while protecting your mind from any damaging effects from the ejection. The encryption is a high-level code that cannot be overridden, not even by you. If we deem it necessary to pull you out of the Encephalon, we can and will, and you, or anyone else, will be able to override the order, either."

It made sense to Rubedo…partially. Usually, the person diving had the authority to override a force-eject, namely because force-ejects were too risky for anyone but the diver to authorize. "But why would I try and override the order, anyway?"

All Dmitri said was, "…It's just a precaution, Rubedo."

As if his father's words were not chilling enough, the very appearance of the PATHOS jack was intimidating. Typical jacks were much smaller and resembled tasers, though instead with small needles used to puncture the neck's skin to connect to the spinal cord. The PATHOS jack, however, was very different, and was something Rubedo was not proud to know only his dive pod possessed. His special jack was much bigger and resembled the top of an oversized syringe. Attached to it was a very long needle, easily two if not three inches long, and its needle was probably a layer thicker than typical needles. Based on his own experience of being probed for various reasons by institute scientists, Rubedo knew the thicker a needle was the more painful it felt when jammed into him. And if the PATHOS jack performed just like typical spinal jacks, it did not take a genius to know 'where' that long, thick needed was going to be injected.

Fortunately, the needle was retractable, enabling Rubedo to get comfortable, or as comfortable as possible, into the pod without the damned thing bothering him. Of course, now that his body was restrained and his neck was perfectly lined up to the jack, Rubedo knew the next thing on the to-do list was getting a giant needle shot through his neck.

And the scientists _still_ told him to relax.

"Is everything ready?" Dmitri asked as he glanced across the computer terminal, monitoring his kids through the windowed side room of the PATHOS lab. The screens showed the wave patterns of all included U.R.T.V.s in the adjacent room, and most units looked ready for the dive.

"Units 330 though 339 are stabilized and ready to go, sir," one male scientist replied, clicking away at his terminal while keeping close eye on the ten standard units.

"Good," Dmitri nodded with satisfaction. Of course, the standard units were always the easiest to prepare for Encephalon dives, since they lacked the problematic emotions of the Variants. "I want Numbers 330 through 339 to be sent in first. Make sure they're in position for the analysis and ready for the Variants to rendezvous."

"Yes sir," confirmed the subordinate, clicking faster to issue the dive codes. "Currently opening standard U.R.T.V. interconnection to the Encephalon, dive commencing with Unit 330…331…332…"

As the standard units each dove one by one, Dmitri turned his attention to the terminal currently displaying the figures for the Variants. A female scientist was typing just as briskly as the previous, though she lacked the certainty of the colleague in charge of the standards. "What's the status on the Variants?" Dr. Yuriev asked the woman.

"Number 669 is ready," she replied, glancing at Nigredo's mental link on the monitor, showing no signs of problems, as he knew his father wanted. "667's is showing slight fluctuation, but it's within acceptable bounds." Albedo's mental wave pattern, especially recently, had never been perfect, but always within 'acceptable bounds'…just barely, anyway. Dmitri learned to deal with it. "But…Unit 666…"

No surprise, Rubedo's mental pattern was fluctuating significantly high, undoubtedly due to his welling anxiety over the experiment. _He listens so well when I tell him to control his emotions_,Dmitri sarcastically noted, before pressing the intercom button. "Settle down, Rubedo," Yuriev voiced into the other room, his tone not sympathetic or soothing, but more authoritative, meaning Rubedo had better darn-well calm himself down.

_Easy for HIM to say_, Rubedo mentally scoffed, before taking a few deep breaths to force his anxiety to lessen. If he did not calm down, Dmitri would get on his case and Rubedo was not in the mood. He wanted to get this test done and over with.

After a moment, Rubedo's mental wavelength settled back to permissible bounds, pleasing Dmitri. "Good," he monotonously praised, before turning off the intercom and making sure everything else was ready to go. "Are Numbers 330 through 339 in position?"

"Affirmative," the male scientist confirmed. "They are currently stationed in the Encephalon and awaiting rendezvous."

"Very well," Dmitri nodded, before turning back to the woman surveying the Variants. As mentioned before, the standard units were never the problem; it was always the Variants that posed the issues. _Here we go_, Dmitri prepped himself, before turning back on the intercom to address the remaining U.R.T.V.s.

"Rubedo, Albedo, and Nigredo," Dmitri addressed them, while all three boys turned their heads in the direction of the side room's window. "You will dive into the PATHOS Encephalon simulation, where you will rendezvous with Units 330 through 339. The simulation is a specially designed environment for handling high outputs of anti-U-DO energy to serve its purpose. Rubedo will be sent in first, as this test is for his benefit. Albedo and Nigredo will follow as support, in the event any support is needed."

Rubedo did not like whatever the hell his father was implying. Something was telling him the type of 'support' Albedo and Nigredo were meant to supply was not 'moral support,' either. Everything about this PATHOS test hinted that Dmitri knew, or perhaps was _expecting_ something to happen, and he was keeping it secret from everyone else. Rubedo did not like it at all.

"We will now commence with the interconnection, starting with Rubedo," continued Dmitri, before handing over the lead to the female scientist overlooking Variant progress. Dmitri rather his subordinates give the details, since he found it redundant and unimportant coming from his mouth.

"Beginning connection for Number 666," the female issued over the intercom, specifically to keep the Variants informed. Rubedo actually preferred it when someone else talked them through dives, instead of his father. Women, especially, seemed to show a tiny bit more sympathy than his damn father.

"Since your connection jack is different than those you're familiar with, I will guide you through your first time using a PATHOS jack. The needle is literally a tiny tube that will insert the force-eject encryption code into your spinal cord. However, this encryption is actual matter that must be implanted into the central nervous system. Upon reaching the system and traversing through the spinal cord, the code breaks down into microscopic fragments that reassemble themselves upon reaching the brain. Don't worry; the implant is perfectly safe and designed to dissolve after three hours, and it will not have any permanent or damaging effects on your brain.

"The implant will be injected after your jack's needle has contacted the spinal cord. You will feel some pain and discomfort, but rest assured it is only temporary, and minor bleeding at the injection sight is normal. Do not be alarmed if you feel any pressure in your head, as this is a side effect of the implant's fragments reassembling, but it, too, will pass. We ask that you just relax and maintain a calm wave pattern."

Rubedo so nearly snorted back "I'd like to see you 'relax' during something like this, bitch," but he refrained, knowing it certainly was not the woman's fault for his predicament. But not having any other choice, Rubedo too another deep breath, 'relaxed' as best as possible, and gave them the "Okay."

"Very well," the woman replied with a voice that was ten times more pleasant than Dmitri's. "We will now begin the interconnection." Thereafter, the dive pod reclined to its typical bed-like cubicle position, the force of gravity causing Rubedo's neck to lie down tightly against the dreaded spinal jack. The needle had yet to be fired, but Rubedo knew it would at any second. He just had to remember to stay calm.

Of course, 'staying calm' was not the first thing that came to mind when the inevitable finally came. Rubedo had a hard enough time not crying out, never mind staying relaxed, when he felt the thick needle stab the back of his neck like a bullet. His entire body flinched slightly upward from the start, though it could not go very far due to the restraints. Moving around, even involuntarily, was not in his best interest, either, since it only made the pain in his neck intensify. Rubedo could literally feel the needle jutting its way into his spinal cord, and his body shook from the writhing pain. The closest attempt the boy could have possibly made to 'relaxing' was gritting his teeth to prevent an onslaught of pain-induced screams and obscenities from pouring out his mouth.

In the monitor room, Dmitri's eyes narrowed unemotionally as he watched Unit 666's wave pattern jump. This was to be expected, especially during Rubedo's first time in a PATHOS test, but Dmitri was not about to baby the Variant through this matter. Pressing the intercom button again, Dmitri rose his voice just enough so his pained son would hear, and more importantly listen, to his father's voice amidst the agony. "Settle down, Rubedo," he bluntly repeated. Whether he or Rubedo liked it or not, they could not successfully execute the dive until Number 666's mental pattern was stable.

Sticky, vein-like rivers of blood began snaking down the back of his neck, camouflaged amid Rubedo's crimson hair. Supposedly, this pain would only be 'temporary,' but it seemed to last an eternity. The pain hurt so much Rubedo would not have been surprised if the damned needle ran through the opposite side of his neck, impaling him. And yet that heartless bastard of a father _still_ told him to 'settle down.' The thought alone made Rubedo's right fist ball tightly, his fingers sticking together by blood caused by his nails digging into his palm. Rubedo could not turn his head to face Dmitri, but his watering eyes managed to glare furiously to the man. Between Dmitri's insensitive regards for Sakura's death and for the feelings of his own children, Rubedo truly and passionately hated his father. Swallowing phlegm that hinted traces of blood, Rubedo growled viciously at Yuriev, snarling both literally and mentally. _…Fuck you._

As if Dmitri read his son's telepathic mind, the man softly scoffed in amusement, before turning back to the female scientist monitoring the Variants. "Now inject the encryption code," he ordered her. Now that the jack needle reached the spinal cord, it was time to issue the implant. The sooner this ordeal was complete, the sooner Rubedo would feel better, and more importantly, the sooner Dmitri's own plans would progress.

"Roger," the woman nodded, before typing in the injection code. "Now administering PATHOS force-eject encryption implant into Number 666."

Fortunately, by the time the implant was injected, Rubedo's body was already numb with pain to notice any change. It still hurt like hell, and made his body minutely writhe in his restraints. The blood along his neck and fist mixed with a glistening layer of sweat, coagulating into a disgusting adhesive on his skin. His breathing was irregular due to both anxiety and the friggen needle in his neck. Fortunately, as each long second passed, the pain did lessen, though Rubedo wondered if he was gradually losing consciousness due to the agony. One thing was for sure, the outside world looked much blurrier than before, and Rubedo doubted it was due to the think window glass.

In 'the outside world,' his two remaining brothers painfully watched what their father forced Rubedo to endure. Nigredo had eventually closed his eyes, unable to keep watching neither his pained brother nor his asshole father. Albedo also could not stand seeing the show, but he was much more obvious about it than Nigredo's solemn quietness. Seeing his twin in such pain infuriated Albedo, making him wish he could break out of his dive pod and go after Dmitri in the other room. Unable to do so, Albedo did the next best thing. Not possessing any restraints in his capsule, the white-haired Variant persistently slammed his fists against his pod's window in a feeble attempt to get Yuriev's attention.

"What the hell are you doing to him?!" Albedo blasted at the top of his lungs, echoing to deafening levels inside the dive pod. The desperate boy pounded his fists so hard they started bleeding, though only fleetingly before his regenerative powers healed any broken skin. Alas, Albedo knew Rubedo was not so fortunate, and any pain the redhead endured would not go away as easily as his twin's. It was so unfair…so Goddamn unfair! With every stifled cry of pain emitting from Rubedo's pod, it tore at Albedo and made him want to cry even more. "Leave Rubedo alone!"

Dmitri was not blind or deaf to the scene, nor was he oblivious to the female scientist's vocal confirmation of, "Injection complete. U.R.T.V. Number 666 is equipped and ready for PATHOS Encephalon dive, sir."

"Very well," Dmitri nodded, glancing back out to the dive room. "Ready Units 667 and 669. Once they're set, send 666 in first and the other two to follow," he ordered, while the woman replied a "yes, sir," and typed in the commands. After a quick moment, Nigredo and Albedo's capsules reclined back in standard diving position, leaving all Variant pods laying flat. Since the dive procedures for 667 and 669 were of typical diving regulations, they would not be as time-consuming or problematic as 666's.

"All wave patterns are in permissible bounds," the woman scientist checked before finalizing the dive. "U.R.T.V.s 666, 667, and 669 stable and suitable for PATHOS Encephalon dive at your order, sir."

Eager to get this done and over with, himself, Dmitri nodded one last time and issued the command. "Commence dive starting with Number 666."

"Yes sir," the woman confirmed. "Opening Variant U.R.T.V. interconnection to the Encephalon, dive commencing with Unit 666…"

Rubedo could feel the world around him getting blurrier by the moment, though this sensation was getting nostalgic, as he recognized it was the typical side effect of entering the Encephalon. At least the pain seemed to be subsiding, though it left him feeling quite achy all over. Dominantly, Rubedo already felt exhausted, which he would have to find some way of rejuvenating himself for the actual field test. At least Albedo and Nigredo were coming along. Although Dmitri probably did not send his brothers in there for 'moral' support, their presence was still a reassurance for Rubedo. He decided to keep thinking such pleasant thoughts as his mind drifted from reality into the Encephalon, thinking only about…_Nigredo…Albedo…_

Reading his twin's thoughts twisted another knife in Albedo as he watched his other half became still. Albedo was relieved that Rubedo was not undergoing the pain anymore. However, another part of him wondered if Rubedo would look as peaceful…when that horrid day arrived…the day Rubedo would become still and never awaken again. But Albedo did not want to think like that right now. Rubedo was fine, and waiting for him in the Encephalon, which was where Albedo was headed as his own spinal connection jack skimmed across the back of his neck. The whole time, Albedo kept staring at his twin through the corner of his tear-filled eyes, thinking only about…_Ru…_

Nigredo was thinking about his brothers, too, though his thoughts were a mixed bag as he braced himself for entering the Encephalon. He had a bad feeling about this PATHOS experiment, and could not help but feel an awkward pair of eyes on him before he slipped into unconsciousness. These glaring eyes were not Dmitri's, either, but…

"Encephalon dive complete, Dr. Yuriev," the scientists concluded while wearing relieved expressions on their faces. Dmitri, of course, kept his nonchalant expression, and simply proceeded to the back of the monitor room, away from the other oblivious subordinates. He, too, felt pair of eyes keenly watching the PATHOS dive, just as keenly as his own.

"I want you on stand-by," Dmitri ordered softly, solely for the little one in the shadows to hear. "If the need arises and Nigredo fails to do his task, or fails to come back at all, I want you to go in after Rubedo, Citrine."

Her blank blue eyes still fixated on Nigredo's unconscious form, Citrine nodded affirmatively and obediently. "Yes, Dr. Yuriev."

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**TO BE CONTINUED**

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**A/N**: This chapter marks the beginning of my lengthy author notes you'll see in following chapters. Why do I include these obnoxious commentaries? No, it's not to waste your time (really!). Simply, I like to defend my works, and I commend others who do the same. If you're proud of something, you should defend it. Plus, adding these commentaries helps you, the reader, in understanding what the hell was going through my mind during this twisted story, too. I hope these side notes will help you better appreciate/understand "PATHOS." (You're also free to review, read the next chapter, and/or hit the x-button if you're not interested in my rambles).

First off, yes, this story centers on Rubedo learning to control the Red Dragon mode. I found the video games to be vague concerning the Red Dragon, giving us the bare minimum details, but leaving some gaps, too. Some of my biggest questions were "when" did Rubedo first learn about the Red Dragon, and "how" did he start harnessing its power? Technically, there's no canon evidence in the games that Rubedo was ever 'told' about the Red Dragon, though he does seem to know about it (though it's probable that even he doesn't fully understand it). Episode II provides a flashback with Nigredo and Citrine briefly discussing the Red Dragon, but odds are they kept it secret for their own duties. Perhaps Gaignun told Jr. more about the Red Dragon over the years following the Miltian Conflict. However, based on the revelations in Episode III concerning Gaignun, and Jr. being totally unaware of them, I doubt Gaignun and Jr. frequently discussed such matters. Thus, there's no real canon evidence of when Rubedo first learned about the Red Dragon. My guesses are he probably first learned 'something' about it following the "shadow" incident in the winter domain. In my opinion, when the "shadow" incident happened, Rubedo did not seem to know what the hell was happening, meaning he was probably unaware of his true power before then. Hence the timeframe of this fic.

Secondly, I've always been rather curious concerning Rubedo's "control" (or perhaps lack thereof) over the Red Dragon mode. Honestly, I cannot picture Yuriev creating a U.R.T.V. with such incredible power without making SOME attempt to harness these abilities, before implementing Citrine and Nigredo. More importantly, we HAVE seen evidence throughout the games that Jr. does possess some level of control over the Red Dragon, at least to a certain extent. Nine times out of ten, the mode is activated under circumstances of emotional stress (as mentioned in this fic). However, Episode I exemplifies Jr. using the Red Dragon mode both voluntary and involuntary during his confrontations with Albedo. Episode II is more noted for scenes where the Red Dragon mode is activated without Jr.'s consent. Episode III has the littlest of evidence, but an interesting tidbit I found was how Jr.'s strongest Special Attack is actually 'Red Dragon,' which can be used at player's will upon acquiring it. This somewhat gave me the impression that come Episode III, Jr. has better harnessed the Red Dragon to be able to use it at his/player's will during the game.

These are my personal opinionated observations, of course, but the bottom line is that Jr. does possess some level of control over the Red Dragon, however strong or weak that control is. "PATHOS" serves as my interpretation for how Rubedo might have learned a 'basic' way to control the Red Dragon. At the same time, this story also gives reasons for why Jr.'s control over the Red Dragon mode is anything but perfect, even 14+ years after this story takes place.

So now that I've either bored or intrigued you, feel free to send me a review. Do you have any better thoughts/interpretations on the Red Dragon? I'd love to hear them, too.


	4. Fear and Disdain

**COPYRIGHT NOTE**: I don't own _Xenosaga_

**COMMENTS**: More of the PATHOS experiment is ahead in this chapter. This chapter also sheds a bit more light on characters like the standard U.R.T.V.s (Numbers 330 through 339 in this story) and Nigredo, who haven't gotten large roles thus far (Nigredo especially, since he has a very pivotal part later in this story). And, of course, there'll be plenty more Rubedo drama, too. Enjoy!

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PATHOS: Chapter IV

_Aiselne Nocturnus_

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"**Fear and Disdain"**

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Which was more degrading: being an anti-existence or being a fail-safe? For Nigredo, he was an anti-existence 'charade' and a fail-safe, cursed from birth with a predetermined duty his father wrote for the final U.R.T.V. The child christened Number 669 was Dmitri's last stand, the final mark that bastard would make on the universe…or so Nigredo originally believed. Being the final-made U.R.T.V. did not fill Nigredo with any pride or satisfaction, and instead made the boy regret his existence.

Fortunately, he was not alone in the lament, for Nigredo's sister shared his unhappiness. The only difference between him and her was Citrine sold herself to Dmitri's predestined fate, whereas Nigredo constantly struggled to defy it. But after so many years of trying, the black-haired boy had long since given up, and succumbed to the fact that Nigredo could never change the fate Dmitri wrote him:

_Executioner_…It was just one of the many twisted strings attached to Nigredo's fate. _Fail-Safe…_None of the titles made the black-haired boy cherish the life he was given. To what point was life it if his would only be used for the purpose of bloodshed?

Nigredo was not blind to Dmitri's plans, while at the same time there were details even Nigredo was denied. Dmitri always told his Designer Children the bare minimum details, and Nigredo was not much different. The youngest U.R.T.V. hardly understood his duty as 'Executioner.' He, alongside Citrine, would be the ones equipped and destined to destroy the Red Dragon in the event it went out of control. Of course, for the longest time, Dmitri failed to tell Nigredo what exactly was the 'Red Dragon.' Hell, it had only been a few years ago that Nigredo finally made the connection between 'Red Dragon' and 'Rubedo.' Dmitri never even divulged the Red Dragon's identity until Nigredo noticed how Rubedo's mental wavelength seemed to match that of the Red Dragon the 'Executioner' was taught so much about. Nigredo was horrified to know his father actually expected him to kill his own brother, and ever since that day, Nigredo searched for some loophole to escape the fate of carrying Rubedo's blood on his hands. Alas, after so many years of finding no such loophole, Nigredo relented. However, Nigredo still held on tightly to a hair-thin thread of hope that some type of opportunity could arise someday to change his fate.

This was why Nigredo, for however hesitant he was of the experiment, prayed he would find his salvation through PATHOS. If everything went as planned, Rubedo would learn to harness the Red Dragon, and ultimately know how to prevent it from going out of control. Despite Yuriev's creation of the 'executioner' U.R.T.V.s, he was not foolish enough to destroy a weapon as valuable as the Red Dragon unless absolutely necessary. There _were_ advantages to possessing such a high-level anti-U-DO power, advantages Nigredo was never told of, but he assumed would help Dmitri's opposition against U-DO. The trick was learning how to use the Red Dragon without accidentally creating an even bigger mess. Essentially, PATHOS was a preventative, developed to impede a worst-case scenario, and Variants 668 and 669 were the fail-safes in the event the scenario was unstoppable. Rubedo did possess the best anti-U-DO wavelength, which was a powerful weapon in Dmitri's arsenal. Dr. Yuriev would not have Nigredo and Citrine idly eliminate the Red Dragon unless it was unmistakably unavoidable.

So Nigredo placed all of his faith in PATHOS, praying Rubedo would learn to control the Red Dragon, thus preventing it from going out of control and forcing Citrine and Nigredo to kill him. Alas, Nigredo still could not find 'total' comfort in PATHOS. Dmitri had been suspiciously vague about the experiment, even to Nigredo. Certain pieces of the puzzle did not fit, and Dmitri's 'precautions' made Nigredo nervous. A part of Nigredo even wondered if Dmitri was specifically sending Rubedo into PATHOS for the sole purpose of providing a stage for Nigredo to kill him. If that were the case, what would Nigredo do? _Kill_ Rubedo…in front of _Albedo_, nonetheless?! Nigredo did not want to see Rubedo die anymore than Albedo did, nor did Nigredo want to be the one to bring about Rubedo's demise. Killing Rubedo right before Albedo's eyes would surely send the middle child fully over the edge, meaning by killing the Red Dragon, Nigredo would lose both Rubedo and Albedo. Then Nigredo would be the one left all alone, kept company solely by the blood he soaked his own hands in. Not even cool, calm, and collected Nigredo could live that way.

But what other choice did he have? Whether Nigredo, or anyone, liked it or not, they were all pawns in Dmitri Yuriev's sick game: a rigged game where the only winner would be Dmitri.

- - - - -

By the time his head stopped pounding from the encryption fragments reassembling, Rubedo's sapphire eyes opened to see his current surroundings. He knew 'where' he was: the PATHOS Encephalon simulation, though what it 'looked' like was rather surprising. He was so used to working in Encephalon simulations: Miltian settings, specifically Labyrinthos for preparation of the Descent Operation, or the beautiful countryside situated in Sakura's subconscious domain. Either way, all of those simulations took place somewhere, or at least _looked_ like somewhere.

For all of PATHOS' bravado, its simulations left a bit more to be desired. Apparently, the landscape configuration was not considered important for PATHOS tests, and was kept as basic as possible. It was probably done so more money could be spent on more pivotal things, like the damned connection jack, which Rubedo swore he could still feel, even inside the Encephalon. Frankly, after getting stabbed in the neck, a nice change in scenery would have been refreshing upon reaching the Encephalon, but no such comfort came. All that could be seen in this PATHOS 'environment' was darkness, with a dull ground barely visible. Rubedo could not even tell if the ground was based organic or man-made. Hell, had Rubedo not felt the ground under his boots he would have never known it was there.

The PATHOS 'world' was a dark, cold place, even more uninviting than the institute. Often, Rubedo enjoyed sneaking into Sakura's subconscious domain for a fresh change in atmosphere, but this PATHOS world was definitely not a place where Rubedo would be making extra visits. As far as the eye could see laid nothingness, a disturbing solitude that gave no evidence of life, other than his. The environment was so dark he could not even see Numbers 330 through 339, who were supposedly already in the PATHOS simulation awaiting his arrival. Albedo and Nigredo were nowhere to be seen, either, but they dove after Rubedo, so perhaps they had not reached his location yet. There was no sense of time in this place, and no way of knowing how long Rubedo had been really been alone.

_Alone..._

But it did not matter how much time really passed, because it still felt like an eternity for Rubedo. Instinctively, he tried to sense his brothers' wave patterns, at least those of the standards who were already somewhere inside the Encephalon. But like the rest of the God-forsaken place, all Rubedo found was…_nothing_. How was that possible? The ten standard units could not have disconnected themselves from the mental link, could they? It was unlikely, since it took a much greater amount of effort and energy for a standard U.R.T.V. to cut his or herself from the link, even temporarily.

Of course, that did not guarantee standard disconnection was impossible, either. Plus the fact, standard units were symbiotically bound to each other to create one complete consciousness. Thus, one standard U.R.T.V. could not disconnect from the mental link without the disconnection of his or her symbiotic brethren. So if by any chance Numbers 330 through 339 were off the link, they would do it together, which might explain why Rubedo could not sense any of them. But then why would they disconnect themselves in the first place? Rubedo did not know.

All Rubedo did know without reasonable doubt was that he hated this solitude. It did not help that U.R.T.V.s were brought up to always have some form of companionship with their siblings. Internally, they were all connected by their mental link. Externally, the standards were always together because they were technically one consciousness. And as far as the Variants were, Rubedo always had Albedo and Nigredo by his side. It was very rare for a U.R.T.V. not to have some form of companionship.

However, when that companionship was taken away, it was quite difficult for a U.R.T.V. to cope. Of course, since the standard units lacked emotion they did not have to worry about feeling 'lonesome' or suffer separation anxiety. But being a Variant with human emotions, separation anxiety was very difficult for one like Rubedo to handle. Granted, he coped better than Albedo ever could, but Rubedo also sympathized with his twin brother, holding the same notion that he, too, never wanted to be left all alone.

_All alone…_

Which was why Rubedo hated this Goddamned place! Was this darkened world really the PATHOS Encephalon, or was Rubedo simply imagining it? Perhaps the trauma from the connection jack knocked him out and he was merely hallucinating. He doubted such was the case, solely because Rubedo could still feel slight throbbing in his head from the implant. Visions did not invoke pain sensations. Conversely, pain _could_ be endured in the Encephalon, just like in reality, though Rubedo knew this place could not be the 'real' world. Wherever the hell he was, it must have been the Encephalon.

Wherever the hell he was, Rubedo wanted to get the hell out of there. Alas, he could not leave the Encephalon unless Dmitri willed it, and Rubedo doubted his dad would allow him to leave not five-or-so minutes after diving. God only knew what Dmitri was up to with this place, but at least the reminder of his damn father helped Rubedo calm down. This place was under Dmitri's full surveillance. Thus, if Rubedo started losing composure, Dmitri would not-so-kindly inform him about it later. Thus, Rubedo took a deep breath, managing to ease his body just as it began to tremble. This experiment was a field test, after all. If Rubedo could not maintain his composure in a simulation, he sure as hell could not do the same come the Descent Operation. Thus, Rubedo remained calm and focused his attention on finding his brothers through the mental link. Any voice would have tremendously eased the redhead's nerves.

_(Don't worry, Rubedo.)_

The question was…"who's" voice did Rubedo just hear?

_(I'm right here with you…always.)_

He had never heard _that_ voice before, and contrary to what he originally hoped, Rubedo found no comfort in this sudden voice. The voice was as unidentifiable and ambiguous as the rest of the Encephalon: dark, cold, and empty. Against all odds, the tone of the voice gave no implication of the speaker's age, or even gender. How was that possible?

_(Always with you…always.)_

Who the hell was talking to him?!

_(Always…always……always………ALWAYS…………)_

This type of companionship…was not the kind of comfort Rubedo wanted. Whoever, or _what_ever, was 'always with him' better resembled a parasite than a partner. Rubedo automatically did not want anything to do with it. He wanted his brothers, he wanted the people he trusted, he wanted…

"Rubedo!"

The taunting voice was instantly silenced by another sound, though a far less intimidating voice than the last. The hellish voice was almost frightened away the second Rubedo felt something impact into him, knocking the wind out of him for a moment and scaring him half to death. The link master almost instinctively pushed away whatever hit him, before reality sank in upon seeing a very familiar head of white hair buried in the crook of his neck.

His thoughts racing and attempting to slow down to some stable rate of cognition, Rubedo blinked a few times before coming back to his senses. After a moment, he finally noticed the arms thrown around him, attached to the trembling body of his younger brother. "…A-Albedo?" he murmured, still rather disoriented. Rubedo was not even technically sure his brother's appearance was even real at the moment.

Fortunately, as Rubedo came back to full senses, he came to acknowledge the moment as truth. "I'm so glad you're here, Rubedo," whispered Albedo, before lifting his head to meet his brother's eyes. Both sets of the twin's eyes held some degree of fear, though Albedo's were typically the ones lined with glistening tears. Sniffling, the younger twin cleared his throat before speaking again. "What kind of weird place is this? I woke up and found nothing here! It took me _forever_ to find Nigredo, and he supposedly dove right after me!" the while-haired boy lamented, though each complaint slowly but surely broke apart by another oncoming wave of tears. "I couldn't find _anyone_! I couldn't find y-you…Rubedo…" Albedo trailed, accompanied by a sob, before burying his face back against his brother's neck, dampening the collar with freshly falling tears.

Now further attuned with the situation, Rubedo blinked again, sympathetically this time, while softly sighing as he comfortingly put his hands on his twin's trembling shoulders. "Hey, it's okay now," reassured Rubedo, adding a bit of optimism in his voice, just enough to cease Albedo's crying.

Moments like these between the twins certainly were nothing new. If anything, they became more frequent after Albedo discovered his immortality, and how eventually Rubedo would die and leave him behind. Ever since, the younger twin had become significantly paranoid over something happening to Rubedo. Albedo did not want Rubedo to die and leave him any sooner than necessary, and Rubedo was well aware of his brother's fear. "I'm right here, and I'm _okay_, too," the older twin soothed, relieved to hear Albedo calm down. Normally, moments like these would be accompanied with a tiny lecture from Rubedo, telling Albedo that he should learn not to fall apart so easily. However, considering his own circumstances a moment ago, Rubedo knew he was not one to throw stones this time around.

"Rubedo…" Albedo whispered, lifting his soaked head again to look back up at his older brother. There was still clear evidence of Albedo's crying spell painted on his reddened face, though one other emotion seemed to surface, too; a sign of _concern_. "…You're shaking."

With the topic of conversation suddenly shifting to him, Rubedo blinked in surprise. But sure enough, just as Albedo observed, Rubedo was indeed shaking, albeit minutely. The only reason Albedo probably noticed was because he still had his arms around Rubedo, so tightly he probably could feel every motion in his twin's body. Chances were, Albedo also noticed the awkward shift Rubedo made after Albedo's comment. Rubedo knew what caused his trembling, but it was not something he felt like discussing. Rubedo wanted to be brave for Albedo's sake, which would never happen if the leader admitted to getting as scared as he was a moment ago…all alone…frightened…and hearing that voice…

…So Rubedo just played ignorant. "Am I?" asked Rubedo, not overly convincing, but just enough to make Albedo loosen his hold. It provided Rubedo with the opportunity to separate from his brother before Albedo noticed anything else that might suggest Rubedo's earlier fears. "It's probably because _you_ scared the hell out of me," he lied, folding his arms across his chest rather sternly. "You shouldn't go running into people like that, Albedo, especially when they're not expecting it," or especially when they are just as scared out of their wits as Rubedo was, too. Of course, Rubedo did not dare say that. Merely thinking such would set off red flags across the mental link, too, so he avoided the topic all together.

His brother's weird scolding was not entirely convincing to Albedo, but the white-haired boy accepted it, anyway. Rubedo tended to get like this when he was trying to cover something up; he played the 'hardened leader' card in an attempt to hide his shortcomings under a guise of authority. This hurt Albedo a bit, since he did not see why Rubedo felt the need to pretend around his twin, especially since Albedo was never shy when it came to expressing his emotions. Albedo did not care if Dmitri or those disgusting standards thought he was a crybaby. Crying was about the only guarantee Albedo had to releasing some of the constant pain and madness welling inside of him.

Albedo tried 'bottling' his emotions, once, and his emotions exploded so hysterically Dmitri put him on sedatives. Thereafter, Albedo was thrown into solitary confinement for three days…in a locked ward cell…all alone…with _absolutely no contact with Rubedo_.The only reason Albedo stayed in the cell for 'three' days instead of the planned 'five' was because the doctors did not think the middle Variant would survive five days. By day three, the boy had already drained his left arm dry of blood, and this incident happened long before Albedo ever realized he could regenerate. That was probably the first time Albedo started realizing something was 'odd' about him. Sadly, when it happened, he was much younger and too naïve to realize that 'normal' people, let alone children, do not usually live after cutting every visible vein in their arm. Albedo was just happy Rubedo never found out: the redhead always assumed his twin was released early for 'good behavior.'

Thus, Albedo knew how dangerous it was to bottle up emotions, though perhaps it was even more dangerous for someone with his particular sanity. Albedo figured Rubedo was strong enough to handle whatever life threw at him, so the younger twin put his faith in Rubedo's words. Sniffling again to clear his nose, Albedo looked down rather defeatedly. "Oh, sorry." He really did not mean the apology, of course. Albedo always liked being close to his twin, even though hugging obviously embarrassed Rubedo sometimes.

But right now, the biggest thing Rubedo was embarrassed over was his own minor episode just before Albedo showed up. The most disturbing part was he could no longer remember that voice, or at least, remember what it sounded like. The voice's words stuck with him, but the tone seemed suspiciously gone from his memory, as if specifically deleted. His recollection was like an old subtitled video that somehow lost its audio.

Rubedo was getting nervous all over again.

Fortunately, Nigredo made his appearance before anything else happened. His form was especially difficult to decipher through the dark Encephalon, his jet-black hair camouflaging with the surroundings. Rubedo was just happy U.R.T.V. uniforms held high enough contrast of gray and blue against black. Had their clothes been dark, only the peach skin on Nigredo's face would have stood out, and appeared like a floating head.

"Rubedo, are you all right?" the head…no, _Nigredo_ asked.

It was becoming more evident that Rubedo was not 'all right,' but the leader knew he could not say so. "Y-yeah…I'm fine," the redhead reassured with a passive wave of his hand. This Encephalon dive was getting weirder and weirder by the timeless minute! "Got' any ideas to what the hell kinda' place this is?"

"It's specifically designed for the PATHOS analysis," Nigredo repeated from earlier, glancing around the dark, desolate area of nothingness. Even the nonchalant baby Variant was disturbed by this place. "It's probably bland solely because it's designed to handle high outputs of U-DO Retro Virus, not simulate reality."

"That is correct, Number 669," spoke another nonchalant voice that seemed to come out of nowhere. All three boys spun around to where the voice came from, each rather jumpy from the disturbing place. They were all rather relieved to see the voice only belonged to a standard U.R.T.V., standing unemotionally before the Variants. Sighing, Rubedo took another calming breath. He was getting sick of all these surprises and had to force himself to quit acting so skittish. _Get a grip already!_ Rubedo chastised himself._ Gaignun doesn't get scared this easily!_

"I am U.R.T.V. Number 330," the male said officially, though his introduction lacked any 'human' formalities such as handshakes or bowing, and certainly no "pleased to meet you." The shorthaired blonde just stood perfectly still, unfazed and as unexcitable as the rest of his standard siblings. 330's displeasing sight alone made Albedo's skin crawl and his stomach churn. Albedo passionately hated these…_'things'_! "Units 331 through 339 are currently in position up ahead and awaiting your arrival. I will guide you," the teen bluntly spoke, before turning around and walking away, expecting the Variants to follow.

Not having anything better to do, nor wanting Number 330 to get too far ahead and lost in the darkness, Rubedo and his Variant brothers followed. Catching up to Unit 330, Rubedo stayed behind him. Naturally, Albedo stayed behind Rubedo, attempting to stay close to his twin, while also as far away as possible from the disgusting standard U.R.T.V. Nigredo was the only one who walked beside 330, more or less to get some information from the clone, such as, "How come you're disconnected from the mental link?"

Also possessing the same question, Rubedo spoke up from behind Number 330. "Yeah. All ten of you are disconnected, aren't you? Isn't that kinda' risky in a place with low visibility?" Normally, if a U.R.T.V. could not see his or her comrades, they would rely on the mental link to find them. However, when a U.R.T.V. could neither see nor sense a comrade, such left them quite vulnerable. Even Dmitri, himself, usually encouraged his children to remain connected on the mental link in the event of crisis.

"You are not mistaken, Number 666," the standard unemotionally continued, his voice bearing such a fake hint of politeness it irritated the hell out of Albedo. Albedo was well aware of how the standard U.R.T.V.s felt about the Variants. They were nothing more than jealous weaklings; weaklings that pretended to respect Rubedo when they rather spit in his face. Unit 330's goody-goody façade never fooled Albedo. "However, we are currently disconnected for the sake of the PATHOS analysis. Anti-U-DO wave constriction requires us to momentarily be disconnected. The same will apply to you when you start learning the constriction process."

"How come?" Rubedo wondered, raising an eyebrow at the strange thought.

"Anti-U-DO wave constriction is a very taxing process," Number 330 continued, never missing a step on his walk. "Essentially, you are compressing your own mental wavelength, condensing it to a thin, almost unusable thread. We all function off a wavelength of a certain size and toying with that wavelength can be dangerous. Even suppression of the faintest U-DO waves can weaken the user. We disconnect ourselves from each other so we do not accidentally harm the other's wavelength. Taking into account that you, Number 666, are attempting to constrict a very high-level anti-U-DO power, your wave constriction could even render you unconscious, at least until you become better experienced. If you practice wave constriction whilst connected to any other U.R.T.V., you could potentially hurt them, along with yourself."

Rubedo certainly did not want to do that. He wanted to control his Red Dragon powers, but not at the expense of harming his brothers. He would much rather take the pain than inflict it on anyone else, especially Albedo and Nigredo. Rubedo would _never_ do anything to hurt his brothers.

"So…" Rubedo continued, noticing an odd tug on his sleeve by Albedo. Rubedo knew Albedo hated the standard units, and probably did not like the fact that his twin was conversing with one, either. But Rubedo did not hold any grudges against the standards, despite some of the cruel things they sometimes said to him. Technically, the standards not 'wrong' in calling him a "monster," after all. Shrugging off Albedo's tug, Rubedo returned to addressing 330. "…How does one go about constricting their wavelength, anyway?"

"It's rather complicated to explain," answered Number 330. "We were not taught it via verbal instruction. It's done entirely mentally as you focus your complete consciousness, calm your thoughts, and draw them inward. The best I can describe it for someone who's never done it before is it feels like you're compressing the very essence of yourself, drawing everything inward to one point…the smallest point of existence."

"What a load of crap," Albedo's sharp voice suddenly interrupted, causing his three other brothers to turn around to him. Disregarding the unpleased look on Rubedo's face, Albedo kept his eyes on the blank expression on 330's horrid face. The '_thing_' just stood there, oblivious to insult. "You standards are in no position to claim what anything '_feels_' like, nor do you even tell lies very well!" he grinned challengingly, while Unit 330 did not even blink in response; an emotionless '_thing_' unworthy of any better name.

"What're you talking about, Albedo?" Rubedo interjected. He hated how Albedo seemed to enjoy picking fights with the standard U.R.T.V.s. But at the same time, Rubedo could not help but wonder what 'lies' his twin referenced.

"330 just claimed standards disconnect themselves to wave constrict," Albedo reiterated, narrowing his eyes knowingly at the unmoved standard. "And yet the whole purpose of wave constriction is to suppress the very wavelength of your consciousness." His grin broadening, Albedo placed his hands on his hips and sarcastically cocked his head. "You lowlifes don't even have your own consciousnesses! The only way you _can_ have a consciousness is by _linking together_!"

Despite Albedo's knack for picking fights with the standards, Rubedo had to admit that his brother made a point. In retrospect, Number 330 was speaking both sides of his mouth, claiming two concepts that contradict the other. Rubedo did not usually like taking sides in these types of arguments, but this time around, he could not help but agree with Albedo.

"Albedo's right," nodded Rubedo, noticing his twin's face briefly brighten, as this was a rare treat for Rubedo to stick up for Albedo against the standard U.R.T.V.s. Turning back to Unit 330, Rubedo also put his hands on his hips, the link master demanding an explanation. "Tell us what's really going on, Number 330!"

Impressively, U.R.T.V. 330 remained unchanged, as emotionless as before and unfazed by the supposedly 'superior' Variants. He did not act ashamed or embarrassed by his slip of the tongue, if it even was a real slip of the tongue. "I apologize," 330 claimed, though he certainly did not sound apologetic. "Please understand that the procedure of wave constriction is still, as I said, very taxing and requires you to disconnect from the mental link."

Rubedo was not as quick to believe everything the standard unit said. "Even if that is true, why'd you claim standard types disconnect?"

"We are currently disconnected, that much is true," Number 330 reassured, before turning around, though he did not move just yet. "Temporary disconnection is necessary for standards to enter the Encephalon individually. And as Number 667 implied, we will have to reconnect with each other for the test.

"However, you, Number 666, will _not_ be connected to anyone, at least once you start practicing on your own," 330 said enigmatically, before peering over his shoulder to the confused Rubedo. "We standard U.R.T.V. just figured you'd feel more 'comfortable' under the assumption that you were not the only one off the link," he said, before turning back around and continuing his walk forward.

Unit 330 did not leave, however, until after murmuring a crude snort, "We wouldn't want you to be all '_alone_,' link master."

It was the first time the standard U.R.T.V. showed any emotion, never mind hostility or disrespect. The second 330 spat out those words of condescension, Albedo nearly lashed out at the cocky bastard. He almost pounced like an animal before Rubedo grabbed his arms and restrained Albedo, fighting with his squirming twin to be let free. "Let go of me, Rubedo!" Albedo blasted, fuming with wide, enraged violet eyes sending daggers at the snotty standard 330. "You heard what that prick said! I'm gonna' rip him apart for saying that to you!"

"You're not ripping _anyone_ apart, Albedo," Rubedo shot back rather incredulously, fortunately being the physically stronger brother and able to keep Albedo at bay. "And I'm well aware of what he said, but you don't see me blowing a gasket!" he added, while Albedo feebly attempted to wiggle out of Rubedo's death grip. Technically, Rubedo was the one usually credited with 'blowing a gasket.' He was the one with the hotheaded temper, he was the impatient type, and he was the one often getting in trouble for shooting his loud mouth off. In any other situation damaging Rubedo's pride, he would have already belted the insulter until the bastard could not even remember insulting the red-haired boy in the first place.

"_We wouldn't want you to be all 'ALONE,' link master."_

But in this particular instance, Rubedo knew he had no right to hit Number 330. For however snide the standard unit's comment was, Rubedo knew he only had himself to blame. Upon first entering the Encephalon, all he kept doing was worrying himself silly over being _alone_. Rubedo knew he had to always keep his thoughts in check, as there was no 'true' privacy for a U.R.T.V., especially when they were connected via the mental link. He was so certain no other U.R.T.V. was connected during that time, but Rubedo knew this 'alone' complex was nothing new, either. It was something all Designer Children shared, but it was also an 'unspoken' fear. All U.R.T.V.s possessed it, thus they never talked about it, but whenever one made a big deal about it, then the "what's the big deal? Quit being a baby" ridicule transpired. And being the link master, the 'leader,' especially a leader who was not liked by his subordinates, Rubedo was all the more targeted for insult when acting like a frightened child. He was a sitting duck for mockery. Dmitri was right: Rubedo really needed to control his emotions better.

When Albedo became too tired to fight off his brother's grip, he gave up on pursuing 330, which in turn made Rubedo let go. Albedo could not stand those standard bastards, each one more arrogant than the next, when none of then had any right to mouth off to Rubedo! Variants were superior in every way, and the standards were just jealous, useless…_THINGS_! They were too pathetic to even have their own consciousnesses for chrissake, and yet they dared speak badly about Rubedo! If Albedo had his way, he would eliminate the whole bunch of them and leave only the Variants. He was a firm believer those standards needed to be put in their place!

Alas, now was not the time. Number 330 had disappeared up ahead, and whether the Variants liked it or not, they needed to work with the standard U.R.T.V.s to complete their PATHOS test. After the three Variant brothers exchanged uncomfortable glances, they then sprinted on after Unit 330, hoping to find him quickly, and end this damned test even quicker.

- - - - -

**TO BE CONTINUED**

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**A/N**: Boy, those standards are resentful little things, aren't they? I actually rooted for Albedo during the Episode II flashback when the standards ridiculed Rubedo as a "monster" (that scene was so sweet, too, seeing Albedo stick up for Rubedo. I found it cute for some reason, especially since we don't see young Albedo act so bold unless it comes to defending his brother. My fascination with those twins never ceases). Similar drama, especially with Rubedo and Albedo, is ahead next time.

So what did you think? I'd love a review.


	5. Need You

**COPYRIGHT NOTE**: I don't own _Xenosaga_

**COMMENTS**: Writing this story has helped me realize that as much as I love Rubedo, I've got a huge weakness for Albedo, too (pre or post Miltian Conflict). Then again, I've always been fascinated with psychology and have written several stories staring mentally disturbed characters (none of which have been posted online yet, nor are they Xenosaga stories, but maybe I'll post them someday). So in retrospect, Albedo's right up my alley. This chapter is for all you Albedo fans!

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PATHOS: Chapter V

_Aiselne Nocturnus_

- - - - -

"**Need You"**

- - - - -

It was not because of budget that the PATHOS world was so bland. Quite the contrary, there was a specific 'function' for the darkness, something Rubedo, Albedo, and Nigredo could have only learned via seeing it with their own eyes. Through the pitch darkness would come a light, faint at first, then brighter and brighter as they neared the rendezvous sight. The light multiplied, perfectly seen in the darkness, accompanied by U.R.T.V. Units 330 through 339 standing in a large uniformed circle. Similarly to usual link simulations, the standards extended their arms outward to form the mental link. However, for this PATHOS demonstration, both hands had to be outstretched, not just one. Even more distinctive was how flashes of light passed irregularly from one standard unit to another. The lights usually went to the unit directly across, as if the children were tossing the lights back and forth in a game of toss.

Of course, Rubedo and the other Variants knew what those lights were. They were part of a "warm-up" standards did prior to linking tests. The lights were bright electric blue, almost white: the lights of their consciousness in a more tangible, identifiable, and useable form. Of course, such could only be seen by a U.R.T.V., and seeing it in an ebony place made it that much simpler to notice; light contrasted by darkness, thus more easily to focus upon. After all, the whole point of PATHOS was for Rubedo to focus on and constrict his own wavelength with no possible distractions.

_Dad's always got a reason for everything, doesn't he?_ Rubedo mused to himself before stepping before the standards to address them. The slight incident with Number 330 was still fresh in his mind, so Rubedo knew he was going to have to maintain a much better state of authority. He was, after all, the leader. "Number 666 reporting for the PATHOS test."

The standards, all males, peered back at him with their dark blue, unemotional eyes. Their glances made Rubedo feel slightly awkward, since all the old 330 units looked a bit older than him. Technically, being the 666th U.R.T.V. made, there were 665 other units that were older than Rubedo. Despite being the 'superior units,' Variants 666 through 669 were also the youngest of Yuriev's Designer Children, which might have added to the older standard units' disdain. However, most U.R.T.V.s Rubedo encountered retained their childlike appearances, appearing his age, despite being older. Being gawked at by U.R.T.V.s that looked older than him, even just by a few years, was rather unsettling to Rubedo. Of course, knowing those older standard units obviously disliked him did not calm the link master's nerves, either. Nonetheless, Rubedo remained calm and focused on why he was really in the PATHOS Encephalon.

"Since this is your first time," U.R.T.V. Number 330 spoke again, though never leaving his current location in the standards' circle. "You will first have to learn the wave constriction process via mimicking us. You do not yet possess the skill to do this on your own, so we ask that you join the circle." After 330's unenthusiastic invitation, the standard U.R.T.V. next to him obediently scooted sideways to make room for the link master.

"As I said before," continued 330. "Wave constriction will require you to disconnect from the mental link, but before you practice on your own you must first study our wave patterns. Again, wave constriction is difficult to describe in words, but it's much simpler to see via wavelengths. You will connect with us while we perform a simple wave constriction technique. It will be very mild and won't harm you, but it should be enough to give you a basic gist of the constriction process, enough for a starting point. It is true that it would be easier for you to watch the wavelengths of a stronger constriction, but that could be dangerous with you linked to us. A constriction technique at its most basic levels should not harm you, especially since you possess such a '_stronger_' wavelength, Number 666."

Rubedo, along with Albedo and Nigredo, did not like the way Number 330 said his last line, particularly the word "stronger." It was spoken with the same disdain from earlier, discreetly mocking Rubedo's level of strength. Nigredo had to tightly grab onto Albedo's arm before the middle Variant lunged back out at the cocky standard, while Rubedo bit his own tongue. The link master did not want to succumb to such provocation. Besides, whether or not he liked the standards, they were Rubedo's ticket to harnessing the Red Dragon, which was something Rubedo desperately wanted. If getting harassed were the price to pay to fully control his power, Rubedo would pay it.

Albedo, on the other hand, was on the verge of dislocating his arm in order to free himself from Nigredo. He wanted to tear those standard bastards apart for ridiculing Rubedo, though the white-haired Variant was no more impressed with his twin for 'turning the other cheek.' How the hell could Rubedo allow those subordinates to walk all over him?!

_("How can you just STAND there and put up with their shit, Rubedo?!")_,Albedo's mind screamed across the mental link, not caring if the standard units overheard. Frankly, Albedo hoped those snot-nosed standards heard him. _("Those bastards think they're so great when YOU'VE got the power to choose whether or not they leave this place! Why don't you show them some of that power and put them in their place already?!")_

_("It's because of that power that I'm keeping my mouth shut and doing as they say, Albedo")_, Rubedo briefly spoke back before taking his place in the circle beside Number 330. The 330-Units were a few inches taller than him, towering over the redhead with their resentful eyes glaring into him. Shaking off the awkwardness, Rubedo extended both of his arms, mimicking Numbers 330 through 339 and concentrating. Before he connected to the standards' mental link, Rubedo spoke to his twin. _("I don't like this anymore than you do, but I have to control my power. I WANT to control it, Albedo.")_

The determination in Rubedo's voice was rivaled by his own fear, too. Albedo could tell that whatever the hell the Red Dragon truly was, it was more than just a powerful anti-U-DO power…it was something that mortified Rubedo. Albedo could still remember the horrified look on his twin's face upon seeing his shadow for the first time: a dark, devilish presence that easily overwhelmed the boy. There was something odd about a fearsome power being feared less by its victims and feared more by its _master_. Rubedo did not want to harness the Red Dragon just so he could use it efficiently. The leader underwent PATHOS so Rubedo could keep that monster locked in a cage and prevent it from hurting anyone, especially him.

Why did that sound so…_cowardly_? Surely Rubedo was not going through this PATHOS experiment on account of sheer cowardice. Albedo considered his other half much stronger, physically and mentally, but there was no denying that Rubedo was scared of himself. Albedo always considered himself the skittish half of their formerly conjoined whole, while Rubedo was the brave half. Rubedo was not scared of anything; he was the leader for God's sake!

While Albedo became lost in his ignorant, naïve thoughts, Nigredo looked on as Rubedo linked with the standards, closing his blue eyes to concentrate on their wave patterns. Unlike Albedo, Nigredo better sympathized with Rubedo. He, too, wanted Rubedo to harness the Red Dragon, not _just_ for Rubedo's benefit. If PATHOS went was planned, _everyone_ would be benefitted.

"U.R.T.V.s 331 through 339," ordered Number 330, obviously the 'leader' of their little standard group. Upon call, all the other standards, 330 included, shut their eyes and began focusing their attention on the exercise. "Set wave constriction starting levels to 13% and keep it at a steady .04% compression per second rate. To Number 666: as this is a very minimalistic constriction, the wavelengths will be very minute and difficult to read, so I advice that you pay as close of attention as possible."

"Got it," Rubedo murmured, doing just as Unit 330 ordered and tuning his attention on every detail across the mental link. All he could see at the moment were hairline wavelengths, and since this test would 'compress' the wavelengths, it meant the hairlines would get even thinner.

Nodding, U.R.T.V. Number 330 then initiated the wave constriction. Only visible to Albedo and Nigredo's open eyes, the circle became illuminated by a vibrant white ring of consciousness. The light passed through all of the participants' hands, as seen in the U-DO simulations. As 330 noted, the wavelength was very thin, though easily seen contrasted by the black nothingness of the Encephalon. As the link pulsed through the participating U.R.T.V.s, Rubedo watched the imaginary numbers and wave patterns of the consciousness, only visible to a U.R.T.V. As ordered, the wavelength minimized gradually by .04% every second, getting smaller and harder to read. However, the advantage to reading the compressed link was Rubedo was able to see, and more importantly _feel_, how the standards were constricting their wavelengths. Number 330 was right; wave constriction was much harder to describe in words, and it was something one had to feel to understand.

Everything felt compressed to a single point, as if Rubedo took all of his separate thoughts and refocused them on one thing, ultimately making them a whole. Then, it was merely a task of taking that whole and shaving away the unnecessary parts until it was a mere fragment of its former self. His thoughts would gradually become less and less specific, dropping the details until the thought was as basic as possible. If he were thinking about what a plant looked like, he would forget about the leaves, the roots, the colors, until all that remained of the stripped thought was a seed. Then the seed would be reduced down to its most basic of components, until all that remained was a name, but no illustrating image. And then the name, itself, would be stripped to its linguistic roots, until there was no longer a word. In the end, all that would be left was a thought of _something_, but what that 'something' was remained unknown. Lastly, when the thought was gone, all that was left was a _feeling_. Wave constriction was simply the process of stripping one's thoughts down to the barest of feelings: the ultimate meditative process of clearing the mind. Since U.R.T.V. power was rooted in the human consciousness, stripping that consciousness to its clearest form was the ultimate way of restraining it.

It was so simple. To harness the Red Dragon, all Rubedo had to do was clear his mind and keep his thoughts as minimal as possible. It was so brilliantly simple Rubedo considered it 'too' easy.

Of course, he did not remain cocky for long. After all, Rubedo knew he was not very good at keeping his thoughts straight when he became frightened. His mind wandered to too many 'what-ifs,' and his inherent fear of loneliness only doubled his problems. The recent events of late, namely Albedo's discovery of his immortality and Sakura's suicide, did not help matters, either.

Rubedo desperately needed to learn how to better control his emotions.

So from now on, Rubedo _would_ control those damn emotions. He swore right then and there inside the PATHOS simulator that he would learn to control himself, and in doing so, control the Red Dragon. He could not speak verbally or telepathically due to the exercise, but Rubedo knew his emotions better than anyone, and knew what he was feeling was resolve. He was going to get his act together, not to appease his father or anyone else, but for himself.

The Red Dragon was his responsibility, and come hell or high water, Rubedo would handle it. He swore it.

"Participating U.R.T.V.s: prepare for disconnection," Number 330 suddenly called out, loud enough to grab Rubedo's attention. Gradually, the compressed wavelength enlarged back to its original size, necessary before the link disconnected to avoid any mental damage. When the parameters were safe, Rubedo and the other 330 U.R.T.V.s disconnected from each other, opening their eyes while the tangible wavelength Albedo and Nigredo watched vanished.

"Was that adequate enough for you, Number 666?" U.R.T.V. 330 asked, looking back down to Rubedo.

Nodding confidently, Rubedo put in a somewhat appreciative smile. He was not overly fond of the 330-Units, but at least they helped him come to the decision he needed to improve himself. "Yeah, thanks," Rubedo replied, not expecting the unemotional standard to return any sign of gratitude or pleasure. "I think I get it now. It's basically clearing the mind to the barest essentials, right?"

Number 330 blankly nodded. "Correct, but it's not as simple as you may think, Number 666. Keep in mind that these PATHOS simulations are currently done under tranquil circumstances. It's much harder to wave constrict when under emotional pressure such as combat. Eventually, when you are more experienced, we will practice with combat simulations, but until then-"

"Why wait?" Rubedo suddenly piped up, much to the surprise of his onlooking Variant brothers. Even the emotionless Number 330 could not help but blankly blink at the link master's confidence. "Look, I know I'm just a beginner, but with the Descent Operation a month away, don't you think it'd be best if I got as much combat training as possible?"

"That is not our, or your, decision to make, Number 666," the standard U.R.T.V. contradicted, causing Rubedo's face to soften slightly in disappointment. "You haven't even attempted constricting a wave on your own in this stable environment. What makes you think you can handle it under fire?"

"I'm not saying I _can_ handle it," Rubedo countered, though his typical confidence started welling inside him, something his Variant brothers knew all too well. "But trust me. I'm a fast learner, and I learn best when the stakes are high," he grinned confidently.  
"Experience may be a rough teacher but I find it works for me."

That was just a nicer, 'cooler' way of saying he learned best by foolishly throwing caution to the wind and flying by the seat of his pants. Unfortunately, Rubedo did not realize how naively he was talking, nor did he fully understand the situation he was in. Granted, Nigredo did not know everything, either, but he knew a hell of a lot more about the Red Dragon than Rubedo. "This isn't something to fool around with, Rubedo," Nigredo quickly voiced, causing both Rubedo and Albedo to turn around and face him. "If Dad and Numbers 330 through 339 want you to take it slow, I think you should heed their advice."

"Well I'd like to 'take it slow,' too, Nigredo," retorted Rubedo with a soft huff. "But in case you haven't noticed, life's not slowing down for us. The Descent Operation's a month away and that's the last place I want the Red Dragon running loose. Even if I have to undergo the hardest PATHOS tests, they'll probably be miniscule compared to whatever we'll engage with on Miltia. At least here, everything's just a simulation."

"People can still get hurt here, Rubedo," Nigredo reminded the link master, "Or did you forget about Number 623?" All the Variants were treated to the unpleasant memory of the U.R.T.V. Albedo beat up in Sakura's subconscious domain a few months ago, right before the discovery of his immortality. Unit 623 was still alive, but a recent report, or more specifically a recent 'scolding by Dmitri,' concluded the boy's damage. 623 had a broken nose and broken arm, along with three broken ribs. Such damage inside the Encephalon left no such scars in the 'real world,' but usually any wounds acquired in the Encephalon left damaging effects on the diver's _brain_. Number 623 underwent a brief coma following Albedo's attack, and after awakening, Dmitri concluded that the standard boy could no longer function properly. The brain damage rendered the boy unable to connect to the mental link, the most basic U.R.T.V. function, making Number 623 useless. Whether or not the jobless 623 aimlessly wandered the Yuriev Institute or had been disposed was unknown, but the Variants never saw him again. Not wanting a similar incident reoccurring, Nigredo shook his head at his older brother. "Pushing yourself won't do one bit of good if it gets you, or any of us, hurt, Rubedo."

Nigredo had a point, and while Rubedo tended to be impatient he did not want a relapse of what happened to Number 623, either. The link master was getting ahead of himself, which was not in his favor, either. Besides, Rubedo did not want to rush through his PATHOS training and wind up with a half-assed control over his power. He was going to do this the right way, even if the 'right way' happened to be the 'long way.' "Alright," relented Rubedo, before turning back to Number 330. "So what's next?"

"Next you will practice wave constriction on your own," explained 330, before turning to his standard comrades still standing in a circle. "The ten of us and you will link again, only this time you will be the one to perform a simple constriction, whilst we will be the observers. Due to your inexperience, our linkage should not pose any threat during your practice, so don't worry about harming us. Just concentrate on minimizing your wavelength, at least compressing it by 2%. Our observations will help in critiquing you afterwards and make sure you performed correctly. If all goes well you'll then practice on your own, disconnected from the link as I previously informed."

"Alright then," nodded Rubedo, before obediently walking into the center of the standards' circle. He could feel the ten pairs of eyes once again staring into the disliked leader, making Rubedo feel the familiar awkwardness and self-consciousness from earlier. In addition to the ten pairs of eyes of the standards, Rubedo could feel two additional pairs of eyes from his Variant brothers, idly watching. One pair of eyes, in particular, seemed to drill into Rubedo's thoughts more forcefully than all the others.

_("Rubedo! Get away from those…'things,' already!")_

Discreetly rolling his blue eyes, Rubedo shook his head, glancing across the congregation to where Albedo stood wearing an irked expression. _("Lay off, Albedo")_, Rubedo instructed, his response causing his twin to bite his lip and furrow his brow angrily. _("These 'things' ARE our brothers, and they ARE helping me.")_

Albedo abhorred the way Rubedo selected his spoken words. _("How the hell can you call those 'things' your brothers?! All they ever do is scoff at you! Don't be so stupid, Rubedo! They're not 'helping' you! I'll bet they can't wait to see you goof up the wave constriction just so they can make fun of you!")_

_("I'll deal with it, Albedo. I'm the leader, remember?")_

_("Do you think they give a shit about that, Rubedo?! They're WELL aware that you're the leader…THAT'S WHY they're always mocking you! They know their insults can get to you!")_

_("Their insults DON'T bother me. They bother YOU.")_

_("OF COURSE they bother me!")_

_("That's because you LET them bother you.")_

_("It's because I can't stand them making fun of you, Rubedo!")_

_("Albedo, you don't need to worry about stupid stuff like that-")_

"'STUPID'?!" Albedo suddenly exclaimed aloud, causing all the U.R.T.V.s to turn and face him. Of course, Albedo paid no attention to any of the other children around him; only Rubedo, staring at him with those irritated sapphire eyes. Of course, Albedo's eyes were not very tranquil at the moment, either. They glared a vicious amethyst at his other half, while the rest of Albedo's body faintly vibrated with a welling anger. The younger twin could not believe what Rubedo just told him. "You' think my worrying about you is _stupid_, Rubedo?!"

Nigredo did not relish the particular direction this scene was headed, and certainly prayed Rubedo would put an end to this before matters got ugly. Unfortunately, as Nigredo turned to face the link master, it was obvious via the irritated look on Rubedo's face that matters already got ugly. _Oh great_… Nigredo feared. He hated it when Rubedo and Albedo fought, primarily because Nigredo never liked to get in the middle or take sides.

This was certainly not the first time Albedo made a scene like this. However, despite his older twin's 'experience' in dealing with Albedo's moments, episodes like these still irked Rubedo. Rubedo was not blind to, nor thrilled with, the standard U.R.T.V.s, but he was willing to deal with them for the purpose of PATHOS. Albedo failed to notice his tantrums were only hindering his older brother from wave compression training Rubedo desperately needed. "What's 'stupid' is your immaturity, Albedo," Rubedo scolded, folding his arms tightly while narrowing his blue eyes. "The sooner you quit making a scene the sooner we can get the hell out of here."

Such was true, but it did not comfort Albedo. "Why the hell do you always defend those '_things_,' Rubedo?!" the white-haired boy demanded to know, pointing accusing fingers at the unemotional standards watching the show. "They never defend you!" he spat, his purple eyes aflame with fury before pointing his finger at himself. "I _DO_!"

"You're not defending me, Albedo," Rubedo countered with another eye roll. "You're just using me as your excuse to pick fights with them. Look, you made your point earlier with 330's lie. Leave it at that."

Oh sure, Albedo would love to 'leave it at that,' but he knew the standards certainly would not be so generous. Albedo could tell just by looking at the blank, yet expectant, looks on Numbers 330 through 339's faces. Those horrid 'things' could not wait for Rubedo to mess up in the simplest way, and then they could torment him about it. Their dull eyes watched every move of the link master, critiquing every minute detail and awaiting for some innocent slip to become ammunition. Then they would be able to harass Rubedo, just like they did so many times before.

And contrary to his older brother's overblown boast, Albedo knew the standards' insults _did_ bother Rubedo. The link master was just too damn stubborn to admit all those times the standards' snide remarks haunted his thoughts, depressed him, and deeply hurt. It was quite obvious their dubbing Rubedo a "monster" bothered the leader to this day. Albedo could always tell when Rubedo was upset, and yet Rubedo foolishly tried to convince his twin, or perhaps convince himself, that he was aloof to the pain.

Rubedo meant the world to Albedo, but Albedo was also the first person to admit that his other half was very, very half-witted sometimes.

"Why don't you tell these bastards how you really feel, Rubedo?" snarled Albedo, balling his fists angrily whilst narrowing his violet eyes into slits, glaring right into Rubedo. That familiar rage and mania from the other day in the winter domain was beginning to resurface, and Albedo could feel his rage swell to dangerous levels. "You hate them just as much as I do, don't you? Go head…_tell them_!"

"Just because we're twins doesn't mean we're identical, Albedo," Rubedo retorted seriously, getting fed up with his twin's persistence. Albedo's nonsense was getting out of line, and Rubedo would not tolerate it. "Don't assume I hate the standards just because you hate them. We're _not_ the same."

'_Not the same'?!_ Albedo repeated to himself, unsure if his thoughts could be heard by the other onlooking U.R.T.V.s, not that he cared. _'Not the same'?!_ Rubedo's words struck very profound cords within Albedo; cords that crisscrossed into one gigantic knot. Half of those cords were based on sadness, hurt by Rubedo's cold clam of him and Albedo not being the same, practically denouncing their precious bond.

However, before anything emotional erupted from Albedo's sorrow, the other half of those 'cords' took over. These cords contradicted the others, and were based on pure rage. "'Not the same'?!" Albedo finally voiced incredulously, though his lips somehow curled into a sneer, while his eyes flashed wildly. He could feel the seductive mania coursing through him, coercing him to snicker deeply. "Rubedo…Rubedo…" he sang darkly, shaking his head with each call of his twin's name. "You have no idea how alike we are, _do you_?!"

Rubedo had seen that look in his brother's amethyst eyes before, bearing a striking resemblance to the incident in the winter domain with Rubedo's shadow. This time around was not as dramatic as the last, but Rubedo did not want matters to get so bad. Standing his ground, Rubedo so nearly stormed out of the standards' circle to put his brother in his place. Despite their bond, Rubedo had no qualms about pummeling some sense into Albedo once and a while. "Cut the crap, Albedo!"

"The only one pulling the crap around here is _you_, Rubedo," Albedo continued to taunt. "But I've seen the real you, and I've seen how ugly your wave pattern really is. It's just like _mine_, meaning if I hate the standards, so don't you," he observed, taking the opportunity to observe his twin's mental pattern, still possessing that 'odd' aura. "It's reddening…_angrily_…_furiously_…"

"If I'm getting furious it's not because of the standards!" barked Rubedo, feeling his own temper begin to flare. Albedo's words were getting stranger; what did he mean by having seen how 'ugly' Rubedo's wavelength appeared? What the hell did he mean?

"Tell the standards how you really feel, Rubedo," Albedo softly coerced, wearing a sly grin on his face while shooting at few glares at the disgusting 330-Units. "Tell them how much they hurt you. Tell them how much you wanted to send that pain _right back at them_!"

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about, Albedo!" blasted Rubedo.

"Why do you deny it, Rubedo?" Albedo retorted, taking another step closer to his fuming twin. "You can't possibly value those 'things'! What could you possibly gain by defending them?" he snorted, before arrogantly grinning as if he just boxed Rubedo into a corner. "You know they'd never defend you if you needed them most! You know they'd rather stand idle and watch you die, rather than save you!"

"I don't need to be saved!" yelled Rubedo.

"You did yesterday," Albedo noted matter-of-factly through curled lips, causing Rubedo to blink in surprise. "You needed Dr. Mizrahi to relieve you of all that pain, didn't you, Rubedo?"

Albedo was the last person in the world Rubedo expected to hear such low words from. Even Rubedo was surprised how deeply Albedo's words cut, causing the link master to minutely falter as he felt a particular stinging inside his chest. The middle Variant was the notorious one for always crying, and yet there Albedo was, mocking Rubedo for the same exact crime. Frankly, Rubedo was usually the one known for teasing Albedo, occasionally calling him a crybaby. The teases never went the other way around.

"…You miserable bastard," Rubedo murmured under his breath, not caring whether or not Albedo, or anyone, overhead. Before anyone else could notice or respond, the redhead leader stormed out of the standard circle and stomped over to where his twin brother firmly stood. Rubedo's blood was boiling at dangerous levels, so dangerously Nigredo noticed and fleetingly attempted to stop the older brother as Rubedo passed. Everything else, from the PATHOS Encephalon to the U.R.T.V.s, was blocked from Rubedo's mind. All he focused upon was his cocky twin…and putting Albedo in his place.

"As if getting lectured by Dad isn't enough…" snarled Rubedo, balling his own fists threateningly as he faced Albedo, locking his enraged blue eyes with his twin's. "…Now I have to put up with your shit, Albedo?!" he blasted, before so nearly raising a fist against Albedo. Rubedo managed to control himself, or at least control his fist. Of course, Rubedo was never good at controlling whatever poured out his mouth. "You have no right to bitch about the standards mocking me when you're stooping to their level!"

"I'm just stating a fact, Rubedo," defended Albedo, not particularly liking the way his twin categorized him in the same category as those 'things.' "I only brought up Mizrahi to prove you need someone to help you!"

"I do _not_!" swore Rubedo at the top of his lungs, launching a fist targeting Albedo's jaw before screaming out, "And I don't need _you_!"

The fist never reached its destination. However, something else did hit Albedo…something far more painful than any punch Rubedo could have materialized. As if he did suffer the blow, the white-haired Variant took a stumbling step back, his face turning almost as white as his hair. It was amazing how powerful Rubedo's words were, possessing the ability to shift Albedo's thoughts so instantaneously. Nigredo's powers probably did not even come close to the tone behind Rubedo's words.

"_And I don't need you!"_

As if Rubedo's voice frightened away the mania that had temporarily overtaken Albedo, the younger twin felt his brief arrogance drain. All that was left inside of Albedo was an empty, hollow feeling…a very lonely feeling.

"_And I don't need you!"_

Albedo did not want to be alone.

Rubedo instantly realized his mistake, and cursed himself for being so stupid. He, of all people, knew he tended to shoot his mouth off when his temper overtook him. This was certainly not the first time Rubedo's big mouth got him into trouble, but all the previous times were trivial. The worst punishment he might get was a lecture from Dmitri or a bruised shoulder from another U.R.T.V. However, Rubedo knew Albedo would not lecture or take a swing at Rubedo…even though Rubedo deserved it.

Instead, Albedo silently force-ejected himself from the Encephalon.

"Dammit!" Rubedo hissed, watching as his twin vanished from the PATHOS environment, not stopping for anything or anyone. For one thing, force-ejection was dangerous on the diver's brain, and Rubedo did not want Albedo's mind to be 'damaged' anymore than it might already be ruined.

However, the real reason Rubedo hated seeing Albedo leave was because the redhead knew he was now in the wrong. Albedo had no right to stoop to the standards' levels and mock Rubedo, but Rubedo did not have the right to say such an incredibly stupid thing to Albedo. Albedo was already overly sensitive, and now…

…And the worst part was, thanks to Dmitri's wonderful encryption implant, Rubedo could not go after Albedo. _Goddammit!_

"Shall we continue constriction practice, Number 666?" the blunt voice of 330 finally asked, as if the scene that just happened was 'no big deal.' The standard's oblivious attitude was very much like Yuriev's carefree tone concerning Sakura's death; nobody cared. Alas, what just happened was nobody's fault but Rubedo's, too. Rubedo claimed he did not need help, and odds were, he was not going to get any help, at least regarding Albedo. Only Rubedo could fix his twin.

Not possessing the means of escaping the Encephalon, Rubedo cursed under his breath again, before unwillingly heading back to the standards' circle. He did not want to hear his brothers' sneers or thoughts. More than ever, Rubedo just wanted to get the hell out of PATHOS.

_Albedo…_

- - - - -

Nobody stopped him, not even Dmitri. Of course, nobody could stop him, either. The second Albedo recovered from his force-ejection the Variant burst out of his dive pod and rushed out of Diving Lab #3. Nobody followed, either, but why would they follow? Nobody cared. Crybaby Albedo was just throwing another hissy fit, and everyone had better things to worry about. So they let the middle child run, and run he did…right out the institute.

The courtyard was painted in a bright orangey-red glow due to the artificial afternoon sunset. Everything was radiant, warm, and much more inviting than the indoors of the Yuriev Institute. The outside was such a contrast of the 'inside worlds:' the dull sterile labs, not to mention Sakura's winter domain. Outside, Albedo felt…free, even though he was still trapped on the institute's premises. At least the outside world was beautiful to behold, bathed in a red sunset.

_Red_. Albedo always liked that color.

Few people were outside by this time of the day. By sunset, U.R.T.V.s usually finished training exercises and headed to the showers to clean up before supper. Most of the scientists did the same before having dinner and retiring to their dorms. Of course, due to Dmitri's 'enhanced' work schedule to accommodate the Descent Operation's new deadline, more people were working late and 'burning the midnight oil.' However, for this particular afternoon, few people were outside enjoying the lovely synthetic weather.

Albedo never minded.

Once the sound of dirt and gravel crunched under his boots, Albedo stopped running, panting and sweating hard as he stood by the familiar brick wall. There was a ragged hole there, large enough for any adult, never mind child, to pass. Albedo never understood how that hole got there, nor did he care. Even so, that hole was like a portal to his own little world, and after regaining his breath, the white-haired boy entered the small forest.

It was darker there, as the treetops towered over him and blocked out the golden sunrays. Only a few rays peeked through the gaps in the trees, cascading to the ground like horizontal arches. The enclosed little forest was cooler than the open areas of the courtyard, a refreshing temperature for one to enjoy after a long sprint. As he traversed the dirt ground, Albedo absentmindedly walked along the small path before reaching his destination…his favorite place.

Nobody else came here except him. The signs of disuse were obvious, since the forest area was rarely tidied. Overgrown weeds and foliage were everywhere, occasionally attempting to trip the boy, punished by a swift grind under his boot. The scientists had no need to visit the forest, since Heaven forbid they dirty their expensive white lab coats. Very few U.R.T.V. children went in there, too, since the standards actually preferred the cleaner cobblestone areas of the courtyard. Only the Variant boys showed any interest in the forest.

Rubedo originally introduced Albedo to this place. Actually, it was more or less due to a silly prank that Albedo ever noticed the forest area of the Yuriev Institute. The Variant children were around eight years old, and at the time had been playing "Hide and Go Seek" around the institute. It was Albedo's turn to count while Rubedo and Nigredo hid, a job Albedo disliked, but unfortunately won after losing "Rock, Paper, Scissors." Nigredo was always the easiest to find, since he usually felt comfortable hiding by the fountain. Rubedo, on the other hand, always picked a new hiding spot and enjoyed making it difficult for Albedo and Nigredo to find him.

The younger Variants searched for over a half-hour: an unheard of amount of time for playing one round of Hide and Go Seek. By then, the 'game' was not fun anymore, and both Albedo and Nigredo were worried about where Rubedo went. As part of their 'rules' for playing, the U.R.T.V.s disconnected themselves from the mental link, since otherwise the game would be too easy. Thus, there was no way of sensing where Rubedo hid. Albedo and Nigredo searched everywhere, or at least, thought they searched everywhere. Fortunately for them, Rubedo's vivid red hair stuck out like a sore thumb amidst the bland sceneries of the institute, so he was not impossible to find. Still, nobody figured the mischievous link master would hide in the forest, either.

Until then, the Variant boys never set foot in the forest, since it was dark and rather spooky for the eight-year-olds. But being the boldest of the three, Rubedo took his chances that day and hid in the forest. Albedo was scared out of his wits going in there, hating the shadows and crisp air, and not having Rubedo to hold onto did not ease the younger twin's anxiety. As if Albedo was not jumpy enough, he nearly had a heart attack when his troublesome older brother popped out of a nearby bush and yelled, _"Boo!"_

_The startled Albedo yelped and fell backwards onto the dirt ground, dirtying his once-pristine white hair and clothes. Nigredo instantly lent the middle child a helping hand while the oldest brother burst into laughter. "What took you guys so long?" Rubedo chuckled while placing his hands on his hips and wearing his notorious grin. "I thought you'd never show up!"_

_His younger brothers failed to see what was so funny, but alas, Rubedo continued laughing while Nigredo and Albedo looked on, certainly not joining in his laughter. Albedo, especially, did not find Rubedo's actions amusing. That giddy redhead had NO idea how worried Albedo was over him! The whole time during his and Nigredo's search, Albedo had been crying…and now was no different._

_"Don't…EVER do that again, Rubedo!" Albedo suddenly screamed, instantly silencing his twin's giggle fit. Albedo certainly was not laughing, he was crying…very hard, too. The dirt that had stuck to his face via his fall was quickly mixed with falling tears, while Albedo's body trembled with wracking sobs. "Nigredo and I-I were…were…so worried a-about you!" wept Albedo, not even attempting to wipe the endless tears off his face. "It's NOT FUNNY!"_

_Nigredo had placed a sympathetic hand on Albedo's vibrating shoulder, silent proof that he indisputably agreed with Albedo's words. But just before Nigredo could voice his own opinions on Rubedo's behavior, Albedo felt another hand touch his other shoulder. He knew that touch, and Albedo knew the voice that accompanied it._

_"Hey, I'm sorry, Albedo."_

_That was all Rubedo said, and frankly, Albedo did not think 'sorry' was good enough. However, considering he had been worried sick over Rubedo's safety, and now his prayers had been answered, Albedo gladly accepted the apology. The middle Variant found what he came for, after all, so what right did he have to complain?_

_Albedo could have sworn his brother groaned some tease, but Albedo was too busy wrapping his arms around Rubedo and sobbing to notice. "R-Rubedo…"_

That was the first day Albedo finally realized, and admitted to himself, how important his twin was to him. In retrospect, it was also the first time Albedo started developing his little phobia of loosing Rubedo, long before the discovery of his regenerative powers. However, at the same time, that day was also proof that no matter how hard Albedo held onto Rubedo, Rubedo always managed to go his own way. Rubedo was the adventurous one; the half willing to take chances and try new things.

Albedo was not so brave. He had a grave fear of the uncertainties of the future. He knew Rubedo and Nigredo would die someday, but when? How? In a way, Albedo wished he could know, just so he could prepare himself for the dreaded days. If he knew his loved ones would die tomorrow, Albedo would savor each drop of every second with them. Rubedo once read in a book how people of Lost Jerusalem often contracted terminal illnesses, diseases no longer in existence. However, despite their illnesses, the sick people often 'lived life to the fullest,' or 'lived like it was their last day.' Albedo would do the same if he knew the exact amount of time he had left with Rubedo and Nigredo.

Alas, Albedo did not know. Rubedo might die tomorrow or seventy years from now and there was no way of knowing. Despite U.R.T.V.s possessing telepathy, an extrasensory perception, they were not psychics with clairvoyance who could read into the future. Thus, all Albedo could do was make feeble attempts at 'preparing' himself for the dreaded day of Rubedo and Nigredo's deaths.

So Albedo came to the forest…and dug.

He had been doing this ever since that afternoon he unearthed his immortality. As always, the ground was soft and cool, rather soothing as Albedo's hands and fingers dug into the artificial soil. The dirt was always easy to move, solely because it rarely stayed put long enough to firm. Albedo always dug in the same spots. Occasionally, a few weak tree and plant roots would get in his way, attempting to stop him. However, if nothing could stop Rubedo and Nigredo's deaths, stupid roots could not stop Albedo from digging their graves.

It was rather uncharacteristic for Albedo to be doing this, actually. Rubedo was usually the one fascinated with the rituals of Lost Jerusalem, not Albedo. Nowadays, if somebody died, their bodies were disposed, at least in the institute. Nobody dug graves anymore, so Albedo was taught to believe. Such rituals were dropped after the abandonment of Lost Jerusalem centuries ago. Cremation was the more common 'ritual' these days, and Albedo could have sworn he overheard Dr. Mizrahi saying such would be done with Sakura's remains. However, Rubedo was the one who unintentionally introduced Albedo to ritual of grave digging after reading it in a book and making simple conversation about such.

So now Albedo dug graves…just like Rubedo told him…in a place Rubedo introduced to him. Albedo liked to think Rubedo may be flattered.

_"And I don't need you!"_

Who the hell was Albedo kidding? If Rubedo ever found out about his twin brother's sick obsession with death, the redhead would be disgusted, not flattered! Even Albedo knew grave digging like his was not natural, or healthy. Like those 'sick people of Lost Jerusalem,' Albedo should have been savoring his last memories with Rubedo and Nigredo. Alas, Albedo was smart enough to know his own limits. If Rubedo and Nigredo died, the middle child knew he could not handle their deaths for the rest of his unending life. Albedo could not live with the pain forever, nor did he want to live with it forever, either.

So Albedo dug…deeper…

"_And I don't need you!"_

The grave before him was small, though large enough to fit a child his size. He wanted to make sure the hole was not cramped. After all, Rubedo liked his personal space, even though Albedo often deprived him of such. However, if the hole was too big…say, big enough for _two_…

Albedo instantly stopped himself. Even if he did get buried alive with his brother's corpse, it would not change anything. If anything, it would only make matters worse. Albedo's body would never deteriorate, while he would be forced to watch his precious Rubedo rot before his eyes. If Albedo had to live with the reality of Rubedo's death, Albedo at least wanted to remember Rubedo as he was living: the spunky redhead who was always causing some mischief with that perpetual grin on his face.

"R-Rubedo…"

He never even realized he spoke, since Albedo doubted any words could even escape his mouth at the moment. The ground before him was dampening, along with his face, as multiple lines of tears freely fell from his puffy pinkish purple eyes. The boy's hands were still covered in dirt when he raised them to burry his face, shaking it wildly in a vain attempt to block out the truth about Rubedo's impending death.

"_What? Are you saying…you can't regenerate?"_

"_Of course not!"_

"_That's a special ability only you possess."_

"…_Only…me?!"_

"W-why does it h-ave to be _me_?!" sobbed Albedo, doubling over and resting his forehead against his knees, his dirty pantlegs speckled with dripping tears. Why was Albedo cursed with this immortal fate? How was it that Rubedo, his own other half, would die like any mortal, while Albedo could not? How the hell did Albedo acquire this damn power and not his twin? If Rubedo were immortal like Albedo, then neither would have to worry about loosing the other. Deep down, Albedo knew Rubedo did not want to loose his twin, either.

"_I don't need you!"_

Then again…

_"You're both going to d-die…a-and leave me be-hind…"_

Maybe death was what Rubedo and Nigredo truly sought. Maybe they wanted to die and eventually leave Albedo behind. It was very obvious that everyone across the Yuriev Institute was getting tired of Albedo's tantrums. Dmitri was always hounding him to pull himself together, and the other scientists were no more sympathetic. The revolting standards did not care about anything, and the Variants…

"_I don't need you!"_

…The Variants were obviously getting tired of Albedo, too.

"WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ME?!" Albedo screamed, nearly ripping out his white hair through dirtied fingers. Holding his head and shaking it wildly, the distraught boy dove into the grave before him, large enough for a U.R.T.V. of his size. Rolling from side to side, covered in the earth, Albedo writhed with painful sobs, his face smeared in tear-mixed soil. When he finally stopped moving, he found himself laying on his right side, staring absently at a wall of dirt. Even in the artificial world of the Yuriev Institute, there were still nanobugs in the soil; little parasites awaiting the day they could happily feast on Rubedo's carcass. But they would not touch Albedo, since immortal beings could never become carcasses.

As tears continuously rolled across his face, Albedo took his watery gaze off the nanobugs and bravely peered over his shoulder. He scooted over to his right, cramming his face against the grave's wall, leaving some space behind him. Then he would close his eyes, and imagine opening them and seeing Rubedo behind him. They would be conjoined again, as they should be. Rubedo would still be his snide self, and would probably complain about them being crammed inside a dirty hole, or tease Albedo's crying. The twins would laugh, and Albedo would…smile.

But when Albedo did open his eyes, and saw nothingness behind him…

_"I don't need you!"_

…Albedo knew there would always be nothingness behind him.

So he just cried.

"R-Rubedo…if you d-die…I want to die…t-too…" the terrified boy wailed again, before clamping his eyes shut and curling up into a tight fetal position. Albedo wanted to die, and he sincerely wanted to be buried alongside Rubedo if Albedo's death ever materialized.

And yet, that dream, too, would never come true.

_"I don't need you!"_

_But I…need y-you…Rubedo._

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**TO BE CONTINUED**

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**A/N**: The story is starting to get a bit darker, neh? I certainly hope you're enjoying this story (I mean, as much as you can possibly 'enjoy' a drama like this). For those who love Rubedo and Albedo, there are some good chapters coming up for the two. If you're a fan of the twins in some way you should like the approaching chapters. Fear not, I haven't totally forgotten about Rubedo/Sakura, either, but that's for next week. Till' next time.

*** One final note**: The upcoming Chapter VI is the beginning of the "darker" chapters in "PATHOS." Meaning, as previously mentioned in earlier chapter disclaimers, this story will start involving more mature content, most notably in the form of disturbing moments and bloody violence. Content disclaimers will be posted at the beginning of the applicable chapters so do heed them. There's no way of me knowing how sensitive each and every reader is when it comes to disturbing/bloody content. Thus, I figured I'd give everyone a heads-up in preparation of the approaching 'darker side' of "PATHOS." The story gets progressively darker from here on out.

Reviews are greatly appreciated. They help me know if all the effort I'm putting into this story is worthwhile.


	6. Two Scarred Hearts

**COPYRIGHT NOTE**: I don't own _Xenosaga_

**COMMENTS**: Did Aiselne forget all about Rubedo/Sakura? No-sir-ree! This chapter is by far one of my favorites to date, and I think Rubedo/Sakura fans will agree (at least I hope). You may think otherwise, but I know I'm happy with this installment (which is rare because I KNOW I'm my own worst critic).

Long chapter ahead, so consider yourself warned. Can you tell I 'got into' this chapter, seeing as it's so much longer than the others? This chapter also features another guilty pleasure of mine: dreams/premonitions (I'm a total sucker for nightmare sequences!). I certainly hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did.

* **Content Disclaimer**: The end of this chapter contains moments that might be considered mildly disturbing to some. The ending also alludes to a "violent" scene in the Japanese version cut from the English release of Episode II (take a guess which one). Reader discretion is advised.

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PATHOS: Chapter VI

_Aiselne Nocturnus_

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"**Two Scarred Hearts"**

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"Go ahead, say it; I'm an idiot!" snorted Rubedo before running his hands through his red hair, furiously shaking his head. By now, his first PATHOS analysis had come and gone, ending far less painfully than it began, at least in a physical sense. The back of his neck ached due to the connection jack, and the injection sight was already scabbed over. His head was throbbing due to the after effect of the dissolved encryption implant, though Rubedo doubted the implant was entirely to blame for his current headache.

The sun had set by the time he and Nigredo left Lab #3 and had dinner in the cafeteria, the typical mess hall for the U.R.T.V. kids to eat. Normally, the area was crowded with other standard children, but since the PATHOS test took longer than usual analyses, Rubedo and Nigredo were the last U.R.T.V.s to get their supper. The 330-Units had already eaten and left by the time the Variant brothers chose a table. So the two boys sat together, across from each other at one long cafeteria table, the only souls in the large hall. No brother spoke, and the only sounds that came from their table resulted from clanking silverware. Both Rubedo and Nigredo were lost in thought, yet thinking different ideas regarding the common ground of PATHOS.

Needless to say, after Albedo's scene in the Encephalon, Rubedo's concentration on the PATHOS test dissolved…somewhat. The redhead still managed to perform a basic wave constriction, even surpassing Number 330's expectations and pulling off a compression rate of 4%, instead of the expected 2%. The standard U.R.T.V.s certainly could not mock Rubedo's boast of being a quick learner. Even so, Rubedo was mind-boggled at how difficult wavelength constriction was, and he nearly fainted after doing a measly 4%! Of course, his mind kept wandering during the test, too, so in retrospect, Rubedo was fortunate he did so well on his first PATHOS analysis.

Unfortunately, no praise was awarded to the link master. Despite his impressive performance, Dmitri was not pleased with Rubedo's handling of Albedo's tantrum. It was common knowledge that Albedo was considered "Rubedo's responsibility." Therefore, when Albedo got out of line the blame instantly went to the older brother for not keeping the white-haired twin on a tighter leash. Since Rubedo was about the only person who could keep Albedo quiet, the job of being Albedo's 'babysitter' was expected on Number 666…along with umpteen million other responsibilities. To Rubedo, it seemed like just another excuse for Dmitri to pile more work into the boy's already-full hands.

Thus, now that all was said and done with the first PATHOS experiment, Rubedo was starting to feel the side effects…and not just regarding the actual test. He just could not get Albedo's face out of his mind, and how betrayed the younger twin looked when Rubedo foolishly yelled out:

"_And I don't need you!"_

Rubedo nearly rammed his head against the dinner table and yanked out his hair as the overwhelming guilt surged. How stupid could he have been to say that to Albedo? Rubedo was not about to condole Albedo's actions towards the standards, but did the white-haired boy's insults deserve Rubedo to claim:

"_I don't need you!"_

"I'm so fuckin' stupid!" hissed the redhead whilst allowing one hand to slam against the dinner table, causing the silverware to jingle and a glass of water to tip over. As if frightened by Rubedo's anger, the split water hastily ran across the table, fleeing over the side and dripping onto to floor. Not that Rubedo cared. The leader just went back to burying his head into his hands, feeling another agonizing migraine develop.

Since Rubedo was in no hurry to clean up the mess, Nigredo silently took the task upon himself, unenthusiastically grabbing a few napkins and wiping the liquid. The water was easy to clean, and evidence of the mess was gone almost as quickly as it materialized. After wiping up the tiny puddle on the floor, Nigredo then tossed the damp napkins into a nearby trash receptacle. He then took a breath, spun around, and headed back to his table, walking as slowly and lethargically as a prisoner walking to the guillotine. To Nigredo, the clean-up was actually a nice distraction from dealing with Rubedo's laments, both inside and outside the mental link. It was getting painful for Nigredo to watch his older brother beat himself up on every verbal and mental level.

Unwillingly sitting back down, Nigredo stared quietly at Rubedo, the redhead still holding his head in his hands. No doubt, the evaporated implant was partially to blame for the link master's headache, though Nigredo knew the encryption was only half at fault. Nigredo, too, was worried about Albedo. The two dining bothers had yet to see hide nor hair of the middle Variant since he force-ejected from the Encephalon. Then again, Nigredo and Rubedo did not have time to search for their missing brother, either, so they had yet to even look for Albedo. Once again, Albedo shut himself off the mental link, so his brothers could not sense his location. _Though I still have a feeling I know where Albedo is_, Nigredo assumed with a gut feeling, rather than the spiritual link, before staring blankly at Rubedo. _And I'm sure Rubedo knows, too._

"There's no point in beating yourself up over it, Rubedo," Nigredo gently encouraged, his teal eyes briefly lowering to notice Rubedo's dinner plate. Granted, Rubedo ate more tonight than he did in recent nights, but his plate was still half-full. Like Albedo, Nigredo could not stand watching Rubedo deteriorate anymore. Sighing, the youngest Variant raised his attention back to Rubedo's buried head. "You really should try and eat some more," he encouraged, though not expecting Rubedo to comply. It was worth a shot.

Rubedo knew Nigredo was only trying to help, but food was the last thing on the redhead's mind right now. "I'm not hungry, Nigredo," muttered Rubedo, his voice muffled under his palms. "I feel like shit right now, and the last thing I want to eat is more shit like they serve here." U.R.T.V. meals at the Yuriev Institute were not 'normal' food, despite the Designer Children possessing typical metabolisms and digestive systems of humans, albeit more efficient. Of course, the food was specially made to ensure the U.R.T.V.s health and stamina. Thus, technically the food was highly nutritious, especially for one whom may have been neglecting his eating habits. Alas, Rubedo was the first person to agree that the 'nutritious' food tasted like shit, but taste was not considered important. Dmitri figured 'tasty foods' were another 'privilege' he refused to use to spoil his kids. Dmitri's subordinate scientists and researchers ate 'normal' food, but they ate in opposite dining areas where U.R.T.V.s were not allowed. Rubedo once attempted to sneak in there and steal some real food, just so he and his brothers could try something with actual taste. Unsurprisingly, he was caught, Dmitri gave him an earful, and Rubedo was stuck with the crappy U.R.T.V. slop. Disgusted, Rubedo released his head from his hands to push the unappetizing plate away, still keeping his head low and off Nigredo's gaze.

"Starving yourself is only going to make you feel worse," Nigredo noted matter-of-factly, gently reaching across the table to nudge Rubedo's plate back closer to him. Nigredo was not thrilled with the institute's food, either. Yet, the food also happened to be high in nutrients that Rubedo's body desperately needed after three days of poor diet. "After you finish eating, we can go look for Albedo."

The mentioning of his twin pulled various strings inside Rubedo, but the most visible reaction came in the form of a surprising snort. Resting his head on only one hand, the redhead kept his eyes on a nearby window, displaying the dark courtyard outside. "As if you don't know where he is, Nigredo," Rubedo murmured with a pint of sarcasm in his voice. "He's probably in the forest doing his God-knows-what in there again." Rubedo and Nigredo knew all about Albedo's visits to the forest area. However, they just did not understand what the hell the middle child was doing playing in the dirt. But every time they attempted to ask Albedo, they were always inclined to leave the middle Variant alone, as if what he was doing was not for them to know. Thus, Rubedo and Nigredo could only periodically watch before leaving Albedo to his own devices, however weird and unexplainable those 'devices' may be. There was something odd about the place that repelled Albedo's brothers.

"Besides," started Rubedo, before looking away from the window and back around his table. He so nearly peered back at Nigredo, but quickly averted his gaze on his own reflection in the polished tabletop. For however depressed he felt, Rubedo could tell by his reflection that there was a resentful glint in his sapphire eyes. "I'm fed up with running after him."

Nigredo was visibly surprised, which was a rarity since the black-haired boy rarely showed a high degree of emotion. However, his teal eyes still widened and his mouth slit open a crack. It took Nigredo an extra second to process what just came out of Rubedo's mouth. The redhead had a bad habit of saying things that first crept into his head, but he did not necessarily mean them. "You don't mean that, Rubedo."

Maybe he did, maybe he did not. Right now, Rubedo was unsure. "Don't you think that's what Albedo wants, Nigredo?" Rubedo challenged, though still never looking his littlest brother in the eye. "Don't you think that's what everyone wants? 'Albedo throws a shit-fit, and Rubedo runs after him.' Then I'm the one stuck taking the damn blame for all this!"

The black-haired Variant could not entirely argue with Rubedo, but "You don't have to take 'all' the blame, Rubedo."

True, but Nigredo's words did not totally relieve Rubedo. Nigredo always had a way with words, a masterful speech that effortlessly chose his words at the most efficient levels. This undoubtedly came in handy with his powers of mind control via voice, so such verbal expertise came natural for U.R.T.V. Number 669. Rubedo was not so lucky, and known for getting into trouble thanks to his big mouth.

However, that did not mean Rubedo was ignorant to understanding eloquent and clever word usage. He may not speak the most properly, but the red-haired Variant was well read and prided himself in being able to 'translate' hidden meanings in words. Thus, Rubedo effortlessly caught onto Nigredo's hidden message: "_You don't have to take 'all' the blame, Rubedo._" "Yeah, but I'm still responsible for 'some' of the blame, right Nigredo?" retorted Rubedo with a sly glance towards Nigredo, though it only lasted a second before he looked away again.

Glancing away, Nigredo then absently took his fork and played around with a few leftovers of food on his plate, for lack of anything better to do. What he wanted to say was anxious to be released from his mouth, but Nigredo was afraid of how Rubedo would take it. "All I'm saying is…" he paused, treading lightly as to not set off Rubedo's temper. "…You of all people know what Albedo's like, Rubedo. You know just how to make him happy or sad. I'm not trying to pressure you like Dad, but…" Another pause, alongside a brave gulp of oxygen, before Nigredo finally dropped the potential bomb. "…In knowing how Albedo ticks, that does warrant you with a certain level of responsibility, Rubedo."

_Ah, yet another one who has to remind me_, Rubedo bitterly thought, though he expelled the anger quickly. He did not want to hold a grudge against Nigredo, especially since the younger brother was absolutely right. Letting off a puff of air, Rubedo scoffed a "Yeah, I know.

"But I'm getting sick of it, too, Nigredo," admitted Rubedo, before finally locking his eyes with his brother's. "I'm not saying I'm sick of Albedo, but everything's starting to really piss me off," he snarled, though constantly keeping his temper in check. Rubedo saw no point in taking out his anger on Nigredo, and plus, Rubedo did promise himself that he would start controlling his emotions, too. Rubedo never broke his promises. "Dad's constantly on my ass lately over every mundane thing I do. I don't have time to be screwing around with Albedo's cries for attention."

"Do you really think what happened in the Encephalon was a cry for attention, Rubedo?" questioned Nigredo, though the answer was obvious to both boys. Just the thought alone of Albedo's betrayed expression was proof that what happened in PATHOS was no childish cry for attention. "Albedo was hurt."

"Yeah, as if I'm _not_," scoffed Rubedo, though his tone was more downcast than sarcastic this time. Rubedo had his own smarting wounds to contend to, some of which he blankly ignored, rather than treated. From experience in battlefields, Rubedo knew an untreated wound lead to future problems, such as infection. Mental wounds were the same. They needed to be treated, and Dmitri's denial of allowing U.R.T.V.s to grieve was only making Rubedo's emotional scars become infected. The scars around his heart, left by Sakura's death, were becoming contaminated by neglect. The wounds still bled, they still hurt, and not relieving them was making each breath harder.

And as if Rubedo's heart was not suffering enough, his damned twin brother seemed to find the need to scar Rubedo's other heart, the heart he and Albedo shared. So now Rubedo had two hearts; both scarred, both untreated, and both hurting.

Something was bound to break.

Sensing the danger, Nigredo shuddered slightly via the tense pulses emanating from Rubedo's wavelength across the mental link. Bit by bit, Rubedo was sinking, and Nigredo was determined to keep the redhead afloat. For one reason, Rubedo was Nigredo's best friend, alongside Albedo. However, Nigredo also did not want Rubedo to give up, lest the Red Dragon take advantage of its host's weakness. If Rubedo gave into his pain, only more pain would transpire; pain that Nigredo was fated to end. The sad, and most ironic, part was that Nigredo truly wanted to 'end' Rubedo's pain, but he feared he would only be able to do that via the Red Dragon's execution.

But what else could Nigredo do? "You're the leader, Rubedo," Nigredo softly reminded, careful not to irk Rubedo on the tender subject. "You can't change who you are…" He paused, glancing down at his lap where his right hand rested, partially concealing his serial number '669.' "…Anymore than I can."

The Variant's fatalism seemed valid, but it also bothered Rubedo. While Rubedo did not mind Nigredo's personality as much as Albedo did, there were still elements to Nigredo even Rubedo disliked. Chief among Nigredo's personality was his obedience: a double-edged sword that was both admirable and disgusting. Of course, Rubedo was the 'free spirit' of the Variants, often going his own way. Nigredo was the exact opposite of the leader, and followed Dmitri's law without question. This irritated Albedo, but it occasionally got under Rubedo's skin, too, such as this evening. What bothered Rubedo the most was how Nigredo followed their father's words…all while wearing a miserable expression on his face. If Nigredo hated his life, why did he not seek to change it? It was Nigredo's lack of willingness to change his fate that irked Rubedo the most.

"You know what your problem is, Nigredo?" snarled Rubedo, glaring his azure eyes at the disheartened little brother. "Dad's raised you to believe you can't do anything outside his authority. Yet, it's plain as day you can't stand him anymore than I can. You're a bird in a cage, with the means and desires to fly away…and you still refuse."

Rubedo was absolutely right, but "It's not that simple, Rubedo," Nigredo regretted to say. If only the baby Variant could be as optimistic as his elder brother. Honestly, Nigredo deeply admired Rubedo's spunk, even if that spunk did sound very naïve sometimes. Of course, the only reason Rubedo spoke such foolishness was because he did not understand the entire situation regarding the Red Dragon, never mind Nigredo's duty. "I've tried to…change," he confessed, wording himself as vaguely as possible to prevent spilling the truth. "We're just not normal kids, Rubedo. Maybe normal children have the privilege of changing their destinies, but not us."

This conversation was going nowhere, and just increased Rubedo's migraine. He was not in the mood to be hearing crap like Nigredo's fatalism. "I feel like I'm talking to Dad," scoffed Rubedo, before sliding his chair and getting up, much to Nigredo's surprise. Not even bothering with his food, Rubedo started to leave, though not before shooting his little brother a final glare. "When you finally learn to make decisions for yourself, let me know," Rubedo grunted before heading out of the cafeteria, leaving Nigredo behind.

When the cafeteria's doors boomed closed behind Rubedo, Nigredo was alone in the hall, blinking a few times in the direction of where his brother vanished. Naturally, Rubedo's words stuck to Nigredo as if they were drenched in glue, and repeated in his mind like a broken record. As the black-haired boy turned his attention back on his unappealing plate, Nigredo stared aimlessly at the food, deeply considering Rubedo's words.

_Make decisions for myself_,Nigredo repeated to himself, before placing his right hand on the table before him. Unfolding his fist, Nigredo gazed at his tattoo, wondering if by some miracle he could ever wash it off. However, something was telling Nigredo that even if he could 'wash' it away, the number could not be cleared by 'water,' but rather via 'blood.' Of course, Nigredo was not talking about the literal meaning of "washing," either. In removing a stain, Nigredo feared he might only create a bigger stain.

That was why the blackbird stayed in his cage.

- - - - -

Rubedo went straight to his room after leaving the cafeteria. He had no intentions of returning to apologize to Nigredo, nor was he in the mood to go look for Albedo right now. The redhead just wanted to be alone, something he felt he deserved after the past few days. Thus, the moment he reached his cot Rubedo fell onto it face-first, burying his red head into his white pillow.

Nothing was getting any easier. Rubedo once read an old proverb of how "things get worse before they get better." The redhead could only hope that soon "things _would_ get better," since current events were definitely getting "worse."

When his pillow began to suffocate him, Rubedo rested his head sideways, while wrapping his arms around the fluffy pillow and squeezing it. It was a 'technique' he taught Albedo when they were six years old. Long before then, the Variant boys all slept in one big bed, but upon age three Dmitri changed them to individual cots. Naturally, Albedo did not like the change, and often crept into Rubedo's bed late at night. For the first few years, Rubedo did not mind, since he, too, liked the companionship. However, come age six, Rubedo started weaning Albedo off the old habit and encouraged the younger twin to sleep in his own cot. When Albedo claimed his bed was lonely, Rubedo suggested that he hug a pillow. The theory was based off an ancient Lost Jerusalem method of helping children sleep via the companionship of stuffed animals, yet another fact Rubedo read in a book. With his eyes closed, it would feel like he was hugging someone, and thus he would not feel so alone. Now Albedo slept every night in his bed, embracing his pillow like a child sleeping with his favorite plush toy.

Albedo was not the only one content with the pillow hugging, either. Rubedo never admitted it, but he occasionally needed the same pacifier to get himself through a couple of 'lonely' nights. Fortunately, he was not a sound sleeper, and tossed and turned so much his pillow almost always wound up on the floor. Thus, come morning, nobody would notice his childish grappling of the pillow. He especially did not want Albedo to notice. Rubedo did not want his twin to put two-and-two together that the redhead was just as lonely, lest Albedo consider it an invitation for them to share a bed again. Not to sound like his father, but even Rubedo believed the boys were too old for such nonsense.

However, there was no denying that Rubedo wanted some form of companionship. Unfortunately, at the moment, his prime targets for companionship happened to be out of his grasp, some by his own hand! In one day Rubedo managed to push Albedo and Nigredo away, nixing their aid. There were no other U.R.T.V.s Rubedo could turn to: the standards would probably laugh in his face, and Citrine would probably spit in his face. Rubedo would have been Goddamned if he went to Dmitri, and any other Yuriev scientist would just tell him to grow up and take his duty like a man. He was, after all, the _leader_.

_God, I hate this._

Clamping his eyes shut, Rubedo tightened his grip around his pillow, so tightly if he were holding a person he might have snapped their vertebra. Now having regained his breath, the boy buried his face back into the pillow, deeper and harder than before. His body was pressed so tightly to the pillow's fabric that he could have fused with it, or at least have burrowed into it. Perhaps that was what Rubedo wanted: to burry himself from the outside world. Just keep digging further and further, until he found the other side of the world, where freedom might lay. Then Rubedo would be liberated.

Then he would be alone.

The right side of his chest hurt. It had been hurting ever since he yelled at Albedo. The middle child might have been disconnected from the mental link, but the 'link' between his and Rubedo's heart never ended. He could feel Albedo's pain and torment after the awful words Rubedo spat at him, and now both twins were suffering.

However, the left side of his chest also hurt, doubling Rubedo's pain. His own heart was hurting, and had been hurting for some time, at least ever since Albedo learned he could never die. That afternoon drove one stake into Rubedo's heart. Then, three days ago, Sakura's suicide drove another stake, and this afternoon drove another one. How many more stakes would tomorrow bring, or the day after? What about the Descent Operation? Rubedo did not know, nor did he want to know. He was hurting enough, after all.

_It hurts…_

When suffocating himself with a pillow proved to only add to his pain, Rubedo freed his face once again, panting as he rested his head sideways again. With his eyes open, he stared blankly at the cots beside his. Right next to him was Albedo's empty cot, and to the farthest end was Nigredo's, which was currently occupied by a sleeping Gaignun. A faint smile pulled Rubedo's lips upon seeing the content cat, envying the animal's life…free of worry, obligation, pain, heartache…so carefree and peaceful…

…Rubedo envied that kind of life.

As Gaignun's image became liquefied, Rubedo buried his face back into his pillow, clamping his eyes tightly shut. He would not cry, especially not after he swore to better control his emotions. Besides, no matter how painful times were getting, crying was not going to solve anything. If anything, it would probably only make him more prone to torment, just like his little scene with Juli yesterday. Thus, no matter what, Rubedo would not cry.

He was, after all, the leader.

So instead, Rubedo took deep, relaxing breaths, vanquishing any oncoming tears, and instead invited a much-needed, peaceful slumber.

If only his sleep did prove 'peaceful'…

- - - - -

When Rubedo's azure eyes opened, he was instantly greeted by a different place, albeit a familiar one. He did not even need another moment to recognize the room he was inside. It was not his sterile bedroom in the Yuriev Institute, but instead a much smaller, brighter, and more inviting locale.

Bright sunlight penetrated through a paned window, opened halfway to invite a tranquil breeze that made the window's pink drapes elegantly sway. To his left was a wooden desk and rocking chair near a couple of tall oak closets. Each closet towered to the ceiling and was large enough to fit a few kids his size (he and his brothers knew from experience). Directly next to the farthest closet was a large stuffed Bunnie sitting in the corner, blankly staring at Rubedo with its squiggly black eyes. Beside the white toy was a small nightstand under the window, covered with a small lamp and various trinkets only a girl could cherish: bracelets, a small bottle of perfume, and a music box. And then, next to the nightstand came the bed, taking up most of right-hand wall's length. Its frame was built out of the same wood as the closets, and the mattress was flat and covered by a simple-designed comforter and pillow. It would have been considered a very dull bed had the headboard not been modestly decorated with a carved heart. At the bed's foot were a couple of bins overflowing with colorful toys, sandwiched between the bed and another oak desk. Everything in the bedroom was untouched, silent, while at the same time emanating a sense of longing to be used. An aura about the place seemed to feel lonely, as if the very room, itself, missed its former inhabitant.

Not that Rubedo could blame its loneliness. He missed Sakura, too. Dearly.

The breeze from the window mixed with the outdoor scent of summertime countryside and the indoor fragrance of cherries. Rubedo could smell her, as if she were actually in the room with him, but Rubedo could not see her from his position at the room's threshold. Besides, even Rubedo knew he was dreaming. There was no way he could truly be visiting this place, and Sakura could not possibly be here, since she was…

His own loneliness swelling inside his heart, Rubedo slowly walked further into the empty bedroom, minutely enchanted by her sweet scent. The further he went, the stronger the smell became, as if he were getting closer to her. He kept telling himself not to be so foolish, but a minute pang of hope filled him when Rubedo came across the closets again. Those mammoth enclosures were large enough for someone to hide, after all.

Like the last time he stumbled upon those closets, he flew the door open in a flash, unveiling the insides. However, as Rubedo soon realized, it was as empty as he last found it. Slamming the door shut, he tried his luck with the other closet, tearing it open like the first. This time, the second closet was occupied, but only by a rainbow of colorful dresses. He quickly leafed through them to see if anyone was hiding behind them, but all he found was more clothes. No Sakura.

Rubedo told himself not to be disappointed, since he already knew the truth. Alas, he was honestly disappointed, and angrily slammed the closed door harder than the first, filling the room with a brief boom. A moment after the door was shut, Rubedo rested his forehead against the polished oak, clamping his eyes tightly. When he felt the damned tears sting his eyes, Rubedo moderately pounded his head against the door, reminding himself to get a grip on his emotions.

Sakura was dead…she was not here…Rubedo swore he would control himself…there was no damn point in crying!

Steadying himself, Rubedo pulled away from the closet, glancing at the nearby Bunnie. The cute toy was still looking at him with those weird black eyes and its goofy grin, which always put a smile on Sakura's face. Such was why she loved Bunnie. Unfortunately, the rabbit did not have identical impact on the red-haired boy. Bunnie was cute, but Rubedo did not understand how Bunnie could smile anymore. Did Bunnie not know its master was dead? Did Bunnie not understand that these were unhappy times unworthy of a smile? Did that stupid Bunnie think Sakura's death was funny?! Was that friggen Bunnie mocking Rubedo like the stuck-up standards?! What the fuck was that Bunnie smiling at?!

He so nearly kicked Bunnie's face so its damned smile went inside-out. Fortunately, reality sank into Rubedo and refrained him from beating the snot, or stuffing, out of Sakura's favorite toy. What the hell was the matter with him?! Was he getting so hysterical that Rubedo felt the need to take out his frustrations on an inanimate plush toy, never mind blame it for 'mocking' him?! Recollecting himself yet again, Rubedo ran a hand through his crimson hair, before shooting a slightly remorseful glance at the oblivious Bunnie. Which was worse: the fact that he took his anger out on Bunnie, or the fact that he actually felt the need to apologize to the toy?!

_I need help…_

Alas, no help was going to come for Rubedo, not as long as his wonderful father kept jamming Rubedo's 'leadership' down his throat and deprived U.R.T.V.s of grieving 'privileges.' Exhaling, Rubedo finally left Bunnie alone, no longer feeling comfortable by being gawked by the rabbit. He glanced over at the nightstand, where Sakura's trinkets laid. Various bracelets gleamed in the overhead sunlight, glistening in an array of colors and metals. The transparent fluid visible inside the half-empty perfume bottle also glistened by iridescent sunrays, making the nightstand's accessories sparkle.

Of course, none of the items sparkled as beautifully as the music box's exterior. It was decorated in shiny seashells of all varieties, expertly glued onto the box in an attractive pattern. Normally, Sakura stored the box downstairs, but she occasionally took it to her room. She said she liked to play the music on lonely nights, using the song to lull her to sleep. Rubedo keenly remembered that music box, and not just because of its lovely appearance.

"_My Mom gave this to me for my birthday last year. It's my favorite birthday present!"_

"_But…what IS it, exactly, Sakura? The box, I mean. Is something in it?"_

"_You don't know, Rubedo? It's a music box."_

"_And…what are they?"_

"_It's just like the name says; they're boxes that play music. They were very popular in the Lost Jerusalem era, and pretty rare nowadays. Actually, this box was my Mom's, and she said HER Mom gave it to her when she was my age."_

"_Wow. So it's a family heirloom?"_

"_I guess."_

"_Cool. So, how does it play music, Sakura? Do you put a coin in it or something?"_

"_No, nothing like that. What you do is you flip it over…like this. See that little knob underneath? You crank it clockwise until it can't turn anymore. See? Then, you let go, turn the box back around, set it down somewhere, and open the lid."_

"_And…what happens when you open the lid?"_

"_Hehe, why don't you see for yourself, Rubedo?"_

And so he opened the lid, and just like his first time, Rubedo's ears were enchanted by the soft melody of the music box. The tune was gentle, very relaxing, and bittersweet all at once. It always reminded him of Sakura…that sweet song they shared.

Sakura's seashell music box; the first music box Rubedo ever saw. But that box held so many more precious memories. For one reason, Rubedo's introduction to the music box was one of the first memories he and Sakura Mizrahi shared. It happened on the day they first met, actually. After he and his brothers better introduced themselves to their female acquaintance, Sakura happily showed the Variant boys around her house. Since Sakura's home was vintage, it was unlike anything Rubedo and his brothers ever saw, and they were naturally curious about everything. In retrospect, Rubedo was amazed he never drove Sakura insane with all his questions about "what's this?" every two feet, but Sakura never minded.

However, the music box was a subject Sakura brought up, not Rubedo. Before the Variant boys were scheduled to leave her domain, Sakura wanted to show them one last thing. That was when she brought out her seashell music box, which was fascinating to the boys, especially Rubedo. Originally, Sakura meant to show the U.R.T.V.s the box so they could replay a message to Juli about Sakura's remembrance of the birthday gift. Instead, the topic of the music box became an educational experience for the Variants.

Of course, for Rubedo, the experience was more than just educational…it was a milestone. Sakura showed him how the device worked, and introduced him to 'music,' another thing Rubedo had never known before. Thereafter, he took an instant liking to the subject and read as many books about it as he could. However, reading music and hearing music were two completely different elements. Rubedo was absolutely thrilled when he found out Sakura, in the real world, played the piano. Needless to say, Rubedo jumped at the opportunity to play alongside her with his harmonica.

Yet, there was still something different about the music box. It created a simple tune that could not be identically duplicated with more powerful instruments like pianos and harmonicas. There was something unique in the music box's simplicity that Rubedo preferred. It was the only instrument by which he preferred hearing that unique song hymned.

"_Rubedo, tell my Mom. Please? Tell her about the music box. She'll understand."_

"_Don't worry. I'll tell her."_

"_And…tell her I love her, too. Very much."_

"_I will, Sakura."_

"_Thanks. I…I'm really glad the three of you came to visit. You don't know how much it means to me. I've been alone so for long, and…"_

"_Hey, we understand. How about the next time we come over you tell us more about that 'ocean' you were talking about? You' know, where you said those seashells came from."_

"_Oh, wait until you see it, Rubedo! The ocean's beautiful! Seashells are just a few of the MANY things the sea has to offer! There's sand and waves and fish and…"_

"_Sounds' fun! I can't wait until we see each other again Sakura!"_

"_Hehe…me too, Rubedo."_

He never noticed when the box stopped playing its melody: the device inside reaching the end of its cycle, ending the song in a drawn-out, dying finale. Then Rubedo was plunged into silence, still surrounded by the looming fragrance of cherries. Maybe somehow, somewhere, Sakura was listening to the music box, too, alongside him. It was something the kids shared; listening to the music on warm summer afternoons and letting the song enrapture them. Sakura often brought the box outside, placing it on her lap whilst sitting on her porch swing. Rubedo would be beside her, and the two would silently listen, absently rocking the swing in coordination with the tune. It would lull them into a tranquil sleep. Often, Rubedo and Sakura would wake up (or be woken up by a grinning Nigredo or an irate Albedo) and notice they had accidentally fallen asleep on each other's shoulder. Even in their dreams, Sakura listened to that song alongside Rubedo.

Did that mean she was still listening to the song, even in death?

Rubedo certainly hoped she was listening. He needed her to listen to the song…to listen to _him_. He needed her…he needed…

_I need…help…Sakura…_

The scent of cherries still lingered in the room, but Rubedo noticed it gradually became faint. When he finally realized what was happening, it was too late, and the fragrance was gone. The breeze through the window dissipated, leaving the pink drapes to hang lifelessly by their rods. Rubedo fleetingly attempted to savor the final whiff of her scent, inhaling it deeply and holding his breath, holding onto her as long as possible. But eventually, he had to let go, and when he did…

…Sakura was gone.

The exhaled breath was accompanied by a persistent sob. Rubedo managed not to cry when hearing the song, but now that it was done…now that Sakura was gone…now that he accepted that she was gone…one very steadfast tear managed to slide down the right side of his face. Mentally cursing himself, Rubedo was quick to wipe it away before anymore tears followed. Alas, when his hand reached the damp cheek, it did not merely wipe the tear line away. Instead, as the hand remained on his cheek for a moment, Rubedo instantly recalling another time when something _else_ caressed that cheek, though far better than any tear.

_Sakura…_

The memory of her kiss drove a second tear down the opposite cheek. Rubedo knew if he kept thinking such painful thoughts, he was going to completely break down. He swore he would get his act together, and come hell or high water, he would! Sakura would not want him to break his resolve. She would want Rubedo to be strong, and she would cheer him on if she could. Rubedo had to remember that Sakura's kiss did not come without a price, either. He had to stay strong, not just for himself but for Sakura's mother, and Sakura's unborn little sister, whoever she may be. Rubedo promised Sakura he would look after them, and thus, he had to stay strong, just as Sakura would want him to be.

Though…would Sakura want him to bottle up this pain, either? Very much like wave constriction, Rubedo was attempting to compress his sorrow, burying it so he could stay 'strong.' So many people placed duties on his shoulders: Dmitri with his leadership and Sakura with her promise. Rubedo wanted to stay strong but he felt like he was only fooling himself, too, and building himself up for an explosion.

He was getting lost…all over again. Everything Rubedo did seemed to be wrong.

_What am I supposed to do, Sakura? I…don't know anymore…_

But Sakura was not here, or anywhere, so she could not respond. Nobody was here. It was as Rubedo feared; he was alone, lost in the sanctuary of his dead beloved. Now, all he had were his brothers, and even they were nowhere to be found, undoubtedly thanks to his own big mouth. Like Albedo, Rubedo did not want his loved ones to leave him, but Rubedo never realized how he was the very cause for their departure; he pushed them away, he failed to protect them…it was all his fault!

"Don't blame yourself, Rubedo. You're not entirely to blame."

Rubedo shut the music box's lid the second he heard the unexpected voice, jumping with a start and spinning around to its source. His heart rate skipped for a moment, furiously pumping blood, though it quickly eased when the image of Nigredo processed in his mind. Rubedo had no idea when Nigredo arrived, or why he was here, but at the moment any companionship was a relief to the redhead.

Swallowing, Rubedo breathed carefully, calming himself as Nigredo patiently waited at the bedroom threshold. "Nigredo…" Rubedo said in a surprised exhale, though it sounded more like a whisper. Desperately, Rubedo tried to remember what his youngest brother just said, yet his thoughts kept spiraling in confusion. Shaking his head in an attempt to clear his mind, Rubedo then steadied himself and managed to salvage his memory to recall Nigredo's words. "…W-What're you talking about? Why are you-?"

"You can't keep doing this to yourself, Rubedo," noted Nigredo, taking a step closer to his older brother. The glint in Nigredo's teal eyes easily made Rubedo's own eyes blink a few times, baffled by what the younger eyes unveiled. The black-haired Variant was notoriously nonchalant and serious. Yet while Nigredo still maintained his typical demeanor, his eyes told Rubedo another story. Nigredo's eyes were a mixture of sympathetic viridescent and perturbed cyan, mixing into a disturbing turquoise. Those eyes told Rubedo that Nigredo knew something, perhaps many things Rubedo did not. It was as though Nigredo was attempting to divulge his secrets…without actually divulging them. Instead, all the raven-haired boy said was, "Don't submit to pain, Rubedo. You've gotta' break free from it before it's too late."

_What the hell's he talking about?_ Rubedo mused, more and more disturbed by Nigredo's words. Nigredo was definitely warning him about something, but what? What could Rubedo possibly have to worry about, especially in regards to his pain? His first thought was the Red Dragon, but Rubedo instantly dismissed it. _As if Nigredo knows anymore about the Red Dragon than I do_. Rubedo was getting frustrated, and instead scoffed under his breath,"You are hardly one to talk about 'breaking free,' Nigredo."

"I can't break free…anymore than you can, Rubedo," continued Nigredo, causing Rubedo to perk at the boy's reiterated fatalism. However, unlike their dinner conversation, now Nigredo was categorizing Rubedo as also being trapped. Who the hell was Nigredo to make such assumptions? "We're all pawns in Dad's game. We're all trapped in the same cage, Rubedo."

"Bullshit," grumbled Rubedo, shaking his head at how well Dmitri managed to 'brainwash' poor Nigredo into thinking so negatively. "We have the power to break free!"

That was the point. Rubedo did not even understand how correctly he spoke. The U.R.T.V.s did indeed possess the power to kill Dmitri, chief among them being Rubedo and the Red Dragon mode. Technically, their father was at the mercy of his anti-U-DO children, since he, himself, possessed a part of U-DO after the Salvator's traumatizing contact. Dmitri took a grave risk in creating the U.R.T.V.s, but he was not foolish, either. He raised them to be obedient, and he raised them like Nigredo: to believe they could not escape the cage Dmitri locked them inside. In actuality, the cage was a farce, though it did exist in the form of Dmitri's verbal influence. There was a reason Dr. Yuriev used bioengineered kids instead of bioengineered adults. All their father had to do was convince the impressionable children that they were at his mercy and Dmitri was in total control.

Except Nigredo. The last U.R.T.V. understood the reality far better than any of his siblings, since Dmitri flat-out told him. Of course, Nigredo was the only U.R.T.V. lacking the powers to kill Yuriev. Nigredo did not possess the power to irradiate U-DO, nor could U-DO ever irradiate him. Thus, Nigredo could not take advantage of his father's only weakness and kill him. Therefore, there was no harm in Dmitri telling Nigredo the truth, since there was absolutely nothing Nigredo could do to change his destiny. If anything, by telling Nigredo the truth, Dmitri succeeded in adding to the boy's crippling hopelessness. Nigredo would forever be wrapped around Dmitri's finger, forever locked in his cage. He wanted to break free, but Nigredo was afraid to leave…and he could not leave.

"Rubedo…" muttered Nigredo, glancing away for a moment into oblivion whilst his older brother perked at the address. "You're right. I do want to break free. I want all of us to be free, to live like normal kids, and to have normal 'privileges.' There's so many things I want to do, but…" he paused, pursing his lips for a moment before finally looking back into Rubedo's eyes. "…I'm trapped. If I can't free myself, I need someone to help me…someone to liberate me.

"Rubedo…" Nigredo spoke again, before closing his eyes shut, as if attempting to block any tears. Respectfully, the youngest boy dipped his head slightly like one begging for his life. Unfortunately, Rubedo soon discovered that Nigredo was not begging for his life, but begging for "…Kill me."

Naturally, the words that came out of his little brother's mouth quite literally knocked the wind out of Rubedo. The breath was taken right from his lungs, momentarily choking him before Rubedo forcefully reminded himself to breathe. Even when he did finally breathe, the process hurt, as if there was an obstruction lodged his throat that prevented normal respiration. Swallowing, Rubedo staggered a step, looking and feeling as though he had just been punched in the gut. He was dizzy, his legs were wobbly, and Rubedo needed to retrace the step he just took so he could lean up against Sakura's nightstand. He required a moment to recollect himself, staring blankly at his feet with wide terrified eyes.

"…_Kill me."_

"H-How can you-?" stammered the redhead, desperately attempting to multi-task: clear his thoughts, calm his breathing, and attempt to speak. Rubedo's words came out in a choppy, almost hoarse tone, forcing him to swallow again. He could just not believe what Nigredo just asked…no, _told_…Rubedo to do! Just thinking about those two little words Nigredo said twisted another blade into Rubedo's heart. It was nostalgically like the time Albedo claimed he wished to die if Rubedo died. Both moments cut Rubedo so deeply, and easily drove tears to his eyes. He did not want to cry.

Yet, "H-How the hell can you p-possibly tell me to do that, Nigredo?!" the leader choked, before swallowing another painful lump in a feeble attempt to remain composed. "You're my brother for chrissake, and I-I-" Rubedo paused, finding it increasingly difficult to restrain his emotions. He so desperately wanted to finish his sentence and tell Nigredo the heartfelt truth, hoping maybe it would snap the young Variant out of his fatalism once and for all. Nigredo was his brother and Rubedo loved him just as much as he loved his twin. It was a different kind of love than he felt for Sakura, but Rubedo was smart enough to know it _was_ 'love.' Though he did not always act like it, Rubedo cared about his younger brothers so very much. They were best friends, they were always together…they were all each other had! Perhaps it would not have killed Rubedo to admittedly speak his heart once and a while. Alas, the words were too painful to say without spilling tears, and Rubedo was steadfast in his resolve.

Mustering enough courage and composure, Rubedo swallowed another round of tears before averting his attention back at Nigredo. In any other situation, Rubedo would have happily fulfilled a request from his brother, but never something like this! "I…won't do it Nigredo," Rubedo swore, shaking his head once for emphasis, though Nigredo never saw it due to his still-dipped head. "I may be a bioweapon…but I would _never_ kill my brother!"

Rubedo figured his words would have put Nigredo's mind at ease. Alas, the black-haired boy's glance remained fixated on the floor, unmoving along with the rest of his body. For a moment, Rubedo wondered if Nigredo somehow did not hear him, or was ignoring him. However, just as Rubedo was about to take a step closer to his little brother, he stopped and noticed something. For however inanimate Nigredo was at the moment, Rubedo noticed one single, tiny glistening tear drip from Nigredo's face, cascading to the floor. It vanished as soon as it appeared, and no others followed.

All that did follow was Nigredo's unemotional, chilling words:

"If o-only you knew, R-Rubedo…"

Gasping, Rubedo was taken aback once again, but not wanting to waste time like before he regained himself and attempted to confront Nigredo. However, as if there was a hidden mechanism on the floor, the moment Rubedo's foot stepped forward…

…Everything went black.

- - -

When his blue eyes opened again, they opened in a flash. However, unlike last time, Rubedo's eyes shut as soon as they opened, blinded by a bright light burning his retina. Shielding his eyes with a hand, Rubedo needed a moment to adjust his vision to the bright light, blinking several times and squinting before he could see more clearly. He could not see anything else at the moment, just the bright light surrounding him. It was not a warm, comforting light like before, though it still came from the bedroom window. He was still in Sakura's room, standing before the window as the sun set at just the right angle to bathe everything in a bright red hue. It was a painfully bright red, illuminating Rubedo's world in an ominous, burning crimson.

Was this Hell?

_Don't be stupid_, Rubedo chastised himself, before taking his eyes away from the window and spinning around. He still felt rather dizzy by the bright light, but his eyes were able to now see more surroundings. Sakura's room was still as he last saw it; her bed, the nightstand, the closets, the desks, Bunnie…

_What a sec_… Rubedo paused, doing a double-take as he once again studied the stuffed rabbit. Just as before, the toy sat in the corner, staring up at him with its eyes. Only this time around, those eyes were angry, slit into a glare with a severely furrowed scowl. He knew what it was; this angry face was the other side of Bunnie's head, making the weird creature quite literally two-faced. Sakura never liked 'angry' Bunnie's face, thus she normally kept its 'happy' face showing. However the hell the toy got turned around was a mystery to Rubedo. _Maybe Nigredo turned it, though why WOULD be?_

Reminding himself of his brother, Rubedo spun back around towards the doorway, wondering whatever happened to the raven-haired boy. It was still painful to look around the bright red room, but since Nigredo had such dark hair he would easily stick out. Sure enough, a second later Rubedo spotted Nigredo's head of thick black hair…

…Laying on the floor along with the rest of his body.

His eyes burned due to the red light and widened in horror as Rubedo saw his fallen, unmoving little brother. He never wasted time to try and figure out what happened. Instinctively, Rubedo ran over to Nigredo, falling to his knees and checking for any vital signs. He was trained in basic CPR, one of many survival skills, though Rubedo prayed matters would not come to such desperate measures. Grabbing Nigredo's limp shoulders, Rubedo shook them gently yet forcefully enough to wake Nigredo, screaming "Nigredo?! _NIGREDO_!!"

"Rubedo?! What's wrong?"

His head shot up at the voice. It was not Nigredo's voice, but instead a softer yet equally concerned tone. The redhead's quick reflexes prevented him from fully processing the situation before Rubedo's wide eyes rose up upon…

…_S-Sakura?_

It was indeed she, the brunette in the long white dress. Against all odds, Sakura was standing right before him, remaining at the threshold and clutching the doorframe. Clearly, Rubedo was too disoriented to find any source of logic or reason behind the matter. He knew she was dead, and he knew she could not really be here.

Alas, Sakura was right here, standing before him. Frankly, real or fake, she was enough to make Rubedo's heart squeeze.

There were so many things he wanted to tell her before she died. Rubedo hated the fact that Sakura died before he could even get the chance to say goodbye. So many things flooded his thoughts, all overloading his cognition and making him feel nauseous. Nothing made any more sense; Sakura, Nigredo… _Oh God! Nigredo!_ Rubedo suddenly remembered, cursing himself for even forgetting his unmoving brother for a second. Tearing his eyes from the beautiful vision at the doorway, Rubedo then looked back down at Nigredo.

"Nigredo…w-won't wake up, Sakura…" Rubedo managed to choke, noticing his image of Nigredo liquefy. Rubedo did not even know how Nigredo wound up like this, and not being able to wake him made Rubedo feel all the more helpless. "I don't…know what happened…"

"…R-Rubedo…" he heard Sakura's soft voice suddenly tremble, as if in fear. It sounded very much like the time in the winter domain when she noticed the redhead's demonic shadow. Just like that time, she suddenly gasped, "…_Look_!"

Events were getting a tad too nostalgic for Rubedo's taste, but he turned his head towards Sakura, noticing she was pointing a shaky finger at something near him. He did not want to see that shadow again, but before Rubedo's fear took control his eyes obediently followed Sakura's point. They landed right next to Rubedo, where something innocently laid on the floor beside the redhead.

As if his eyes were not wide enough, Rubedo's stung even more when they saw the gun by his side. It was a pistol, one of the many models U.R.T.V.s were accustomed to. This particular model was used in most practice sessions, as they were easier to maneuver than heavy rifles. No doubt, it was a pistol specifically crafted for a U.R.T.V., meaning only a U.R.T.V. could have used it.

…And now Nigredo was down…

"Oh God, Nigredo. No…" Rubedo's voice shook, along with his head. Back and forth, the link master attempted to shake the horrifying thought out of his mind. Alas, his attempts were overridden by his memories of another painfully similar instance. It happened several months ago, specifically the day Albedo unearthed his immortality. Rubedo still had occasional nightmares of that scene, haunted by the image of his own twin brother raising the pistol to his head. One pull of the trigger, and…

"Not you t-too, N-Nigredo," whispered Rubedo through another choked sob. Gingerly, the link master cradled his youngest brother's head in his hands, delicately stroking it to try and find the wound. Nigredo's hair, body, and uniform were sticky with the familiar, disgusting adhesive of coagulating blood, concealed to the naked eye due to the room's red ambiance. Rubedo's fingers failed to find the hole, which somewhat relieved him, but also made him wonder where else the bullet might have gone. Rubedo could only pray that he would find the wound in time to remove the bullet before Nigredo was gone.

"…Rubedo?" Sakura's soft voice questioned, while the sounds of her nearing footsteps faintly resonated. Too concerned with helping Nigredo, Rubedo did not look back up at the girl, even if he was overjoyed to see her again. Alas, at the moment, Sakura was not the one in grave danger. She swallowed loudly, before her footsteps stopped right beside the redhead. "Rubedo, how…could you?"

So many things almost poured out of his mouth at that second. Rubedo was scared, and he had no idea what the hell was happening, why it was happening, or how it was happening! Yet, no matter how overwhelmed he got, everything still kept happening without any consideration of the terrified boy. Rubedo was on some sick merry-go-round that refused to stop, and anytime he asked to get off it would only spin faster and faster.

Yet, in spite of the welling madness, Rubedo still managed to process Sakura's disturbing question. "…W-what?" he choked, blinking quickly before pausing his aid for Nigredo. Rubedo did not want to stop, but he could not help it after hearing Sakura's words.

Swallowing again, Rubedo looked back up at the girl, the young lady he fell so deeply in love with during the past few months. In any other situation their reunion would have been more eventful. Hell, Rubedo dared to believe any reunion between him and Sakura would be just like such scenarios in an old romance/fantasy novel. His beloved returned from the dead, offering a second chance, and he would take her into his arms and refuse to let her slip away again. Not only that, Rubedo wanted to tell her how sorry he was for failing, for not curing her illness and not being there to stop her from taking her own life. But most importantly, he just wanted to hold her…or perhaps he wanted her to hold _him_, to tell him she was still right there with him and always would be. The urge to pull her into his arms intensified with each passing second, though Rubedo still managed to cough back a "…W-what're you talking about, Sakura?"

She did not verbally answer immediately, though her eyes answered his question. Instead of those emerald orbs being fixated on him, Sakura's eyes dropped back down to the gun on the floor. A hand absentmindedly went to her chest in a frightened manner, as though the pistol would jump out at her if she were not careful. But as her eyes skimmed the situation, Rubedo soon got a suspicion that Sakura was not entirely frightened by the gun, per se. The dark-haired girl visibly shuddered before her eyes darted from the gun to Nigredo…to _Rubedo_.

Sakura did not have to say anything for Rubedo to realize what she was thinking. Stumbling to his feet, the redhead saw her instantly take a few steps backwards, maintaining a moderate space between them. When he put two-and-two together, Rubedo bit his lip before taking one more step forward, while Sakura took one equal step back.

"Sakura…" started Rubedo, clearing his throat in an attempt to sound as benevolent and honest as possible. "…I don't know what happened but…it wasn't _me_!" he swore, taking another step while Sakura backed, regaining her original position at the bedroom threshold. As before, she clutched the doorframe, though she frighteningly held onto it this time. It was painful for Rubedo to watch look at him with such terrified eyes. "Sakura…I'd never shoot Nigredo! You know that!"

Alas, the young girl continued to grasp onto the wooden doorframe, turning her knuckles white as she grappled onto it like a cat. Her entire body shook uncontrollably and her teeth chattered as if she were out in frigid temperatures, contrasting the nervous sweat glistening at her brow. But, as before, her eyes unveiled everything through wide-eyed emeralds glistening with terrified tears.

How could she look at him like that? How could Sakura possibly look at Rubedo as if he were a…

"…M-monster…" she choked, before mustering all her courage to spin around and bolt out of the room, leaving behind the sounds of her feet scampering down the stairs.

Unmoving…stunned…numb…Rubedo stood in place, staring blankly at the spot where he last saw Sakura. No longer did he feel as though somebody ran a stake through him…no longer did he feel anything. Surprisingly, Sakura's words did not "hurt" as literally as Rubedo figured. The words just left him in her room, unable to respond in any way, as if she just spoke the password to shut his body down like a computer.

He did not go after her. As if an invisible force field encompassed the bedroom, Rubedo felt unable to leave it. He was afraid his pursuit would only make Sakura run faster and he could not bear the rejection. When feeling started to return to his body, Rubedo silently turned around, away from the doorway. He was too stunned to speak, and certainly too stunned to cry, so he performed the only other available function of returning to Nigredo's limp side.

"…_M-monster…"_

_Sakura_… Rubedo thought, wincing by the stinging pain in his heart, before turning back, thinking, _how could you think that?_

It was not as complicated of a question as Rubedo figured. Surprisingly, the answer to his question came almost faster than he managed to formulate the question. As if plagued with the identical fear as Sakura, Rubedo's body froze in place when he saw…_it_…standing behind him. There it was, that tenebrous beast inhabiting his shadow, perfectly contrasted against the hellish red light. The demon easily towered to the ceiling, its menacing red eyes bearing down on its terrified little host. Ironically, for however bright the red light was, Rubedo's eyes burned even more as he stared at the dark nothingness of his shadow, an abyss of malevolence.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

"Sakura?!" Rubedo exclaimed just as her ear-piercing scream tore through the house. It was a blood-curdling scream, followed by the loud echoes of multiple booms and thuds resonating through the walls. The sounds were nearby, but not in the same room Rubedo remained. His instincts told him to run, run and save Sakura, but his feet seemed unable to go past a certain point, as if he was on a leash…and his shadow was the one restraining him. Glaring angrily at the beast, Rubedo felt his blood boil. "What the hell happened to her?!"

Naturally, his shadow did not respond. Instead, the demon extended a long talon-like claw of an arm, extending through the red light and edging closer to…_Nigredo_! Spying the gun a foot away from him, Rubedo ran closer to his shadow, within restricted range to seize the pistol and train it on the lurking monster. He doubted a bullet could harm a shadow, but Rubedo's lack of options, poor cognition, and fear drove him to the gun. Not wasting any time with threats and orders Rubedo pulled the trigger three times, shooting…_nothing_. Three clicks…it was empty. _Son of a bitch_! Not having time to lament any further, Rubedo did the only other thing he could do, screaming "LEAVE HIM ALONE!!"

Of course, the beast never listened…never stopped…and graced Rubedo with the entertainment of watching his own shadow…strangle Nigredo. Faint gasps for air emanated from the black-haired boy, still weak, but still alive…barely.

"_STOP_!!" screamed Rubedo, nearly running forward to tear the damned shadow away from his dying brother. Alas, just as the penumbra wrapped around Nigredo's tiny throat, something also wrapped around Rubedo, albeit it wrapped around his shoulders from behind. Restrained, the redhead attempted to free himself, though failed tremendously due to his crippling fear and overwhelmed breathing. "Let…me…go…dammit!"

"Let him go, Rubedo," whispered another familiar face from behind, powerful enough to stop Rubedo's wiggling for freedom. "Let's get them out of the way." The malevolent voice was not Sakura's or Nigredo's but…

"…A-Albedo…" Rubedo gasped, glancing at his twin through the corner of his eye. Even then, Rubedo still could not see the middle child, though he could feel the reverberations in his right chest throb in a disturbing way. It felt as if someone wrapped barbed wire around his second heart and sadistically pulled the strings. Something was wrong…with Albedo. "…W-what're you…?"

"Aren't you happy, Rubedo?" chimed Albedo, tightening his hold around his brother in an affectionate embrace, rather than as a restraint. Rubedo felt his brother's soft white hair nestle against his right shoulder, while perplexing giggles echoed from Albedo's mouth. They were not happy laughs but…twisted. "We're both monstrous bastards. You killed Nigredo and I killed Sakura, hehehehe. We _ARE_ alike!"

_W-what?!_ Rubedo's eyes widened with horror as they glanced back at where Nigredo fell limp and silent, his throat crushed by the link master's own shadow. When Nigredo's hand fell lifelessly by his side, Rubedo felt tears furiously water his wide eyes. To hold back those tears, he had to bite down on his quivering lip until it bled, trickling blood down his chin. _No…no…NO!!_

"Don't be sad, Rubedo," Albedo reassured with a sadistic ring in his voice, offering no sympathy for his fallen baby brother. "We don't need Nigredo or Sakura to be happy. We're all the other needs."

As droplets of blood started dripping from his chin and speckled his uniform, the devastated redhead had to cough back a sob in order to speak. "…W-what did you d-do to Sakura?!" he blasted in a choked voice, spitting blood while he glared at his twin through his tear-filled blue eyes. "Tell me, Albe-!"

"Shhhh…" hushed Albedo, unwrapping one of his arms from Rubedo in order to raise a hand to the redhead's mouth, covering and silencing it whilst smearing the blood. The taste of metallic carnage pressed to Rubedo's lips felt like a perverted kiss with the devil, and the sounds of his twin's devilish laughter did not ease Rubedo's anxiety, either. This was the very thing Rubedo feared all along; one day he would see the true demon Albedo became. The younger brother's laughter was acidic and caused Rubedo's second heart to writhe. This was not his precious twin…this person in Albedo's physique was a monster.

"None of that matters anymore, Rubedo," reassured Albedo, before releasing his hand from Rubedo's blood-covered mouth and resuming his hug. "I'm happy being a monster if you're one. We can go to Hell together."

Perhaps that idea sounded mesmerizing to Albedo, but it terrified Rubedo. The link master did not want to be a monster, even if his younger brother was one. Rubedo wanted to protect others, not kill them. He wanted to save them from death, not bring them to it! There was no way Rubedo could live with himself knowing he doomed so many people, especially_…Nigredo…Sakura…._

"…No…" Rubedo muttered, before darting his glaring eyes to and from his shadow to Albedo. This was not the life he wanted. "…I refuse to be a monster, Albedo."

"Too bad the choice isn't yours to make, Rubedo…" sneered Albedo, while Rubedo felt the arms around him begin to migrate to his neck, gradually choking him. "_Don't_ betray me, Rubedo…" Albedo warned in a deep, threatening snarl as he began depriving his other half of oxygen. "…Or I'll make you _regret it_!"

Unable to claw free from Albedo's hold, Rubedo struggled to raise the pistol to his brother. Rubedo knew the weapon was empty but figured a swift swipe of the barrel against Albedo's temple would be enough to stop him. Shaking due to fear, anger, and pain, Rubedo managed to hesitantly bring the gun to his twin's head, attempting in some way to muster enough force to knock out Albedo. Unfortunately, due to the lack of air, Rubedo's weak hand easily dropped the pistol.

It never reached the floor, however. In one swift maneuver, Albedo inexplicably released his twin, tossing the weakened Rubedo to the floor. Just as the gun neared the floor, Albedo swiped it and gazed longingly at the weapon while Rubedo clutched his throat and coughed furiously. Haggardly breathing, Rubedo's wide eyes managed to glance back at his brother, once again holding another gun in his hand. Now free from Albedo's grasp, Rubedo could fully see the sick, maddening expression painted across his twin's face.

"You want to kill me, Rubedo?" Albedo asked in an innocently dark way, as if he were talking to a defenseless creature he was about to take pleasure in killing. Snickering and curling his lips defiantly, the white-haired boy tauntingly waved the gun like a toy.

"It's…empty…" reassured Rubedo, his feeble attempt at proving his brother's accusation wrong. If he were not so busy regaining his breath Rubedo probably would have cried at Albedo's cruel assumption. _How could he…think I'd want to kill…HIM?!_

"Aw, that's too bad," grinned Albedo, before bringing the gun closer to himself…dangerously close to his…head…._again_. Noticing the horrified look in Rubedo's wide blue eyes, Albedo grinned in amusement. "Why are you scared?" asked Albedo with another innocent tone as his lips caressed the barrel. "It's empty, _isn't it_?" he recalled, before his finger teased the trigger. "And even if it weren't, all I have to do his regenerate, or did you forget?" the boy asked with a sick grin, before his violet eyes lit up with a demonic excitement. "Here…let me remind you!" he gushed before the barrel slid into his mouth…

"ALBEDO!!!"

- - - - -

**TO BE CONTINUED**

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**A/N**: (Was the gun really empty? Hehe, I'll leave you to decide) Yup, cliffhanger. Damn I love dream/premonition sequences. Anything goes in them and I can exercise my sick twisted imagination. Heh. So…a lot happened in this chapter. I hope you enjoyed the Rubedo/Sakura goodness. There'll be a few more Rubedo/Sakura instances here and there in following chapters, but this installment is the biggest. I apologize for the long length of this chapter, but I actually felt bad about making the earlier chapters so short. I guess I'm trying to make up for them.

So what did you think? Yes, weird chapter but dreams are supposed to be weird. I'm sure you're starting to see the disturbing direction this story is taking. The story gets even darker in the NEXT chapter. I'm giving you readers another friendly heads-up: the next chapter will have the previously mentioned "self-mutilation" scene. However, in spite of that scene, Chapter VII is also another favorite of mine and it's going to have some rather sweet little moments. Plus, it's also one of "PATHOS'" most pivotal segments, so I'm sure you don't want to miss it.

Please R&R (read & review) and then treat yourself to a little R&R (rest & relaxation). You deserve it after reading a chapter like this (and you'll need it for the next chapter, too). I'm dying to know what people think of this fic's darker chapters! Thanks as always.


	7. Other Half

**COPYRIGHT NOTE**: I don't own _Xenosaga_

**COMMENTS**: Fun chapter last time, eh? Hehe, more Albedo goodness/creepiness is ahead in this installment, too, plus Nigredo and Citrine are back. This is another favorite chapter of mine, arguably one I like more than the last installment. Whereas Chapter VI had a lot of Rubedo/Sakura, this chapter will be more about Rubedo and Albedo. Enjoy!

* **Content Disclaimer**: This chapter contains a scene of disturbing gory content regarding non-explicit self-mutilation. Reader discretion is advised.

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PATHOS: Chapter VII

_Aiselne Nocturnus_

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"**Other Half"**

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The first thing Rubedo saw was liquid: crystal clear and rippling. Through that liquid he then saw the faint outline of the dead ceiling light of his dark bedroom within the Yuriev Institute. Then he heard panting, his own, coordinated with the rapid unsteady rising and falling of his chest. Damp, sticky perspiration trickled from his forehead, coating his bangs and clinging them to his sweaty skin. Then the vibrations of his body were noticed, trembling as if he were surrounded by ice, contrasting his sweating as if he were in a desert. The last thing he noticed was his voice, or lack there of, coughing out a strangled, hoarse cry as reality gradually returned to him.

He had been dreaming. Even during the nightmare, Rubedo knew he was dreaming. Everything he saw had been nothing more than a figment of his distressed imagination, overwhelmed by the recent milestones in his life; Sakura's death and Albedo…

"…_All I have to do his regenerate…here…let me remind you!"_

…Rubedo did not want to remember Albedo's part.

His breathing calming down, Rubedo slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position on his cot whilst rubbing his glazed eyes. The force of gravity caused a few lines of glistening sweat to run down the length of his neck and torso, causing his wet uniform to stick uncomfortably to the boy's body. Slightly overheated, Rubedo quietly unzipped the top portion of his uniform, freeing his neck from its sticky, humid confines. The brisk air of the unlit bedroom steadily calmed and cooled him, giving Rubedo some time to relax after his terrible dream.

It was certainly not the first time Rubedo had a nightmare, but he never recalled having one as frightening as tonight's. His most recent nightmare was so real and disturbing. It felt as though his subconscious wove together all of Rubedo's greatest fears into one sick and unbearable traumatic experience, as if his subconscious was attempting to drive him insane. All in one dream Rubedo watched Nigredo die…by Rubedo's own demonic shadow. Plus, Albedo supposedly killed Sakura, and then Albedo once again pulled a gun on himself. And somehow, in some way, Rubedo felt responsible for all of their deaths.

Nigredo said the redhead was not entirely the one to blame, but that did not change how Rubedo felt about himself anymore. Like it or not, Sakura was dead because Rubedo failed to cure her and stop her from killing herself. His "perfect wavelength" was supposed to be Sakura Mizrahi's miracle cure, and if she died, that meant, in some way, Rubedo failed…or at least let her die. It was just like his dream; he heard her scream, he heard her fall, and yet Rubedo was unable to go after her…he was unable to save Sakura. Even if he did not kill Sakura, letting her die was no better than physically ending her life. Those who let others die might not carry out the deed, but they did indirectly condemn the victim. Rubedo was no exception; he was at fault just as Albedo.

_Albedo_… What in God's name was that dream trying to tell Rubedo? Why would Albedo kill Sakura? Rubedo knew his twin was less than thrilled with the girl, and Rubedo often sensed a hint of jealousy on Albedo's behalf. Rubedo was not blind to the fact that his younger twin often liked to hoard Rubedo all to himself, even from Nigredo. Not only was Albedo possessive but he was also quite paranoid of the possibility of Rubedo ever getting out of his sight and never returning. Rubedo always suspected that Albedo figured Sakura was attempting to take Rubedo away from the middle child, which the redhead knew was not Sakura's intent at all. In fact, Sakura often put in the effort to include all the Variant boys in games, and not constantly isolate herself with Rubedo. Alas, Albedo obviously never noticed her benevolence.

However, in spite of the jealousy, Rubedo still failed to see why he would dream about Albedo admitting he killed Sakura. Why? Rubedo doubted Albedo hated Sakura so passionately, though considering the younger twin's gradual slip into mania, perhaps Rubedo should not be so surprised. If Albedo could drive Number 623 into a coma, then a sick, defenseless girl like Sakura would be no trouble. Albedo was not thinking clearly anymore, and if driven by his madness and jealousy, what was holding Albedo back from killing Sakura?

Rubedo did not know the answers, nor did he want to know the answers. Like his denial of Sakura's means of suicide, Rubedo was quick to deny that his twin brother willingly killed Sakura Mizrahi. Other than a sick dream, there was no proof confirming that Albedo had anything to do with Sakura's death, so Rubedo forced himself to stop jumping to conclusions. Such conclusions were only overwhelming him and Rubedo could not take much more of this pressure. As if he was not stressed enough by Sakura's death, Albedo's growing insanity, Dmitri's authority, and PATHOS' experiments, now Rubedo was being haunted by nonsensical dreams! _Will this ever end?_

It was getting too much. Rubedo knew he had a status to maintain but how the hell could he maintain it under such heavy conditions? Everything was piling on top of him and it was getting harder and harder not to give into his despair. Rubedo knew he needed some 'outlet' for this pain, but what? He read novels about similarly distressed people, from traumatized war soldiers to depressed teenagers. The soldiers, often plagued by nightmares of hellish warfare, sought therapy to deal with the post-traumatic stress. Of course, no such counselors existed in the Yuriev Institute, so Rubedo could not go to any therapy.

As far as the depressed teenagers he read about, many sought therapy, too. However, several teens often resorted to drugs and alcohol as well, other painkillers Rubedo had no access to. All drugs and alcohol, of any kind, were kept out of the Designer Children's reach for more than obvious reasons. So what other painkillers could Rubedo try? Depressed teens often became either anorexic or bulimic, but Rubedo's poor diet was not encouraging him to seek any comfort via food, though he was not quite to the point of anorexic, either.

The last painkiller option was…well, it was what the novels dubbed "cutting." Supposedly, the depressed victim found relieving pleasure in running sharp objects, commonly blades, along their body. This was another thing Rubedo was too naïve to understand, since he figured cutting himself would only induce more pain. Besides, if Rubedo did such he would get caught very quickly. The cutters in his novels always sliced themselves in private areas not usually visible to the general public. Alas, Rubedo did not have that kind of privacy, since U.R.T.V.s received weekly physicals that negated the wearing of any clothing. Sure, his uniform covered the majority of his body for most of the week, but come that physical the scar tissue would most certainly be discovered. In short, Rubedo failed to see how mutilating himself could benefit him.

Thus, a U.R.T.V. like Rubedo needed to find comfort in something unique only to him. Unfortunately, the only other 'comfort' he could think about at the moment was…

…_Albedo._

Nine times out of ten, Rubedo was sought after by Albedo whenever the younger twin needed comfort. Rubedo was Albedo's inherent shoulder to cry on, the one Albedo ran to whenever he was afraid, such as after awakening from a frightening dream. The redhead would hold his sobbing brother until the fears and anxieties melted away and calmed Albedo into a relieving slumber. Episodes like these happened occasionally, more often after Albedo learned he could never die. Such incidents were often an inconvenience during the nights Rubedo was in dire need of sleep, but he still never denied Albedo the comfort he needed.

…Well, maybe that was not entirely true, since Rubedo certainly denied Albedo comfort after the episode in the PATHOS Encephalon.

With his breathing completely back to normal, Rubedo ran a hand through his sweaty red hair before glancing over at the illuminated digital wall clock of his dark room. _O-two-hundred hours_…he read, before noticing the window just below the clock. The drapes had been drawn and no light backlit them, aside the soft glow of the moon. Rubedo never planned on sleeping so late, but alas, he did. Apparently, nobody bothered to wake him, figuring the link master needed his sleep. Rubedo appreciated the benevolence, but he did not like to be pitied, either.

Nonetheless, after establishing a sense of time, Rubedo took his blue eyes off the window and directed them towards the cots beside his. The white patches in Gaignun's fur were the first to attract the boy's attention, the white contrasting with the ebony darkness. Like before, the kitty was asleep in Nigredo's bed, though unlike before, the bed's owner now accompanied Gaignun. Nigredo was sound asleep, curled up on his side with Gaignun nestled to his chest. Both occupants were sleeping peacefully, perhaps dreaming their own blissful chimeras. Rubedo knew he was not so fortunate.

And judging by the empty bed in the middle of the occupied cots, Albedo was probably no more fortunate.

The sight easily hurt Rubedo, causing him to bite his lip upon finally realizing that his twin was not in the room. Albedo's bed was just as vacant as before, untouched as though it were quarantined. It was after two o'clock in the morning and Albedo never came back. Knowing him, the middle child was probably still in the forest, perhaps sleepingthere for all Rubedo knew.

_Albedo…_

A few hours ago, Rubedo was too angry with himself and his brother to run after Albedo. Of course now, hours later, when Albedo still had yet to return, Rubedo was thinking differently. By now, Rubedo was thinking more clearly, but there was another underlying reason for why he felt a welling loneliness inside him. It was something the proud little redhead was rather embarrassed to admit, too.

Nine times out of ten, Rubedo was sought after by Albedo whenever the younger twin needed comfort. However, whenever that 'one time out of ten' occurred, the situation was flipped over. When that rare one time happened, Rubedo sought _Albedo_. It did not happen very often due to the redhead's pride and leadership complex. Ordinarily, Rubedo preferred to handle his problems by himself. Besides, he also wanted to remain the 'strong twin,' hoping that if Rubedo stayed strong eventually Albedo would follow. Thus, Rubedo learned to cope on his own.

However, his coping only worked nine times out of ten. When the 'one time out of ten' happened, Rubedo would go to Albedo, albeit less emotionally than the middle twin. Albedo's episodes were known for being very hysterical, whereas Rubedo's were subtler. Even when he needed Albedo's shoulder Rubedo still kept some level of control. Rubedo prided himself in knowing he did not fall apart as easily as his little brother. Thus, these 'one time out of ten' moments were usually quite short and the tears kept to the barest minimum. More often than not, Rubedo's 'episodes' just transpired in the form of him getting a much-needed hug from his twin. Control or no control, a simple embrace worked wonders for Rubedo.

Rubedo needed that miracle cure…_now_.

Alas, Albedo was not here, though Rubedo knew 'where' the white-haired boy was sleeping. Regardless of his own selfish necessities, Rubedo knew he owed it to Albedo to find him and settle what happened earlier. He needed to apologize to Albedo…and to Nigredo, too, though Rubedo was not about to wake the youngest Variant now. Later, he would settle things with Nigredo, but Rubedo wanted to tend to his missing twin first.

Mindful not to make much noise, Rubedo climbed out of his cot, moving around carefully to not stumble into something hidden in the darkness. So intent on finding Albedo, Rubedo never noticed Nigredo open one teal eye before the redhead exited the bedroom.

_Rubedo…_

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After dark, the Yuriev Institute went under a lock down to ensure none of the children were fooling around outside late at night. However, with the Descent Operation an unexpected month away, more researchers worked late nowadays. Thus, more labs and areas were currently kept unlocked during the evenings. Still, the main doors to the courtyard were still locked by now, though Rubedo knew the institute's layout well enough to know alternate roots. Just as he figured, the exit doors by the cafeteria were unlocked, usually so late-night workers could get their 'fresh air' and take needed cigarette breaks without difficulty. Fortunately at the time, the area was vacant, and nobody noticed Rubedo slip outside.

From the cafeteria's exit, Rubedo found himself in the west end of the courtyard, which was a distance from the forest area he was certain Albedo stayed. Since nobody else was wandering around outside, it was easy for the redhead to sprint across the courtyard, being mindful not to attract too much attention lest he get caught. The sprint felt refreshing as the cool artificial night air skimmed against him, combing through his cherry red hair. The fake moon and stars above provided enough illumination for Rubedo to see where he was going. The institute also released nanobugs to clean at night while almost everyone else stayed inside. Thus, between the light of the moon, stars, and lightning bug-like machines, Rubedo easily found the forest.

Just as easily as he found the forest, Rubedo found Albedo. The sight alone easily made Rubedo halt from his spirit, while the boy blinked long a hard as his sapphire eyes found the sleeping form of his younger twin. Swallowing a small lump in his throat, the redhead quietly and carefully traversed the forest area, the locale darker and a few degrees cooler than the rest of the wide-open courtyard. The forest did not spook Rubedo as much as it did to Nigredo and Albedo, but the link master still felt rather uncomfortable when he reached Albedo's resting spot. His boots crunched the cool soil under his feet when Rubedo stopped before two large holes in the ground by a large tree. One hole was empty, while the other was occupied by a sleeping white-haired child, curled in a fetal position and covered in dirt.

Biting his lower lip at the sight, Rubedo exhaled a small puff of air, briefly visible in the cool night atmosphere. Rubedo knew about his brother's weird fetish with playing in the dirt, but never before did Rubedo find Albedo physically in one of his holes. It was an unnerving sight, as if Albedo was resting in his own grave. Such was a sight Rubedo did not want to look at any longer than necessary.

His first instinct was to wake Albedo, but Rubedo refrained from doing so. As the red-haired twin knelt down on one knee beside Albedo's hole, Rubedo carefully observed his brother's face. Even Rubedo knew Albedo had not been sleeping very well for the past few months, so it was rare for Rubedo to watch his twin sleep with a minutely content look on his face. Nowadays, the only way Albedo ever got to sleep was after crying himself into exhaustion, leaving a painful tear-stained look on the child's sleeping face.

Of course, tonight was not entirely different. Albedo looked somewhat peaceful, but upon closer observation Rubedo could easily see evidence of past tears. By now the fluids had dried, but based on the lines of soil smeared across Albedo's face, it was evident that at some point tears were the cause of the dirty smudges. The smears all trailed from the common source of Albedo's eyes, zigzagging across his cheeks and nose, probably via tossing a turning. No more tears were falling due to Albedo's unconsciousness, but soiled streaks across his face still gave an illusion of him crying in his sleep. Rubedo could only hope Albedo was having more pleasant dreams than his twin.

Blinking slowly again, Rubedo sighed before extending a hand down to his brother's level. The hole was not too deep, thus it was easy for Rubedo's hand to stroke his twin's dirtied face, causing some soil to stick to Rubedo's fingers. Softening his face sympathetically, Rubedo watched as his hand delicately attempted to wipe away some of the tear-like dirt stains, at least below Albedo's eyes. Rubedo had seen his younger brother cry many, many times, but that did not mean those many, many times were easy on Rubedo, either. Several of those occasions goaded Rubedo to join his brother, though the older twin almost always refrained. He knew he was Albedo's source of strength, thus Rubedo needed to be steadfast.

But…who was Rubedo's strength? Everyone seemed to lean on him, but whom could Rubedo lean on? Was there anyone for him to lean on, or was Rubedo more alone than he realized?

_No…I'm not alone_… Rubedo told himself, swallowing again before retracting his hand out of the pit. Immediately, the dirtied hand found the right side of his chest, where he could still feel his twin's heartbeat: content but still aching. It reminded Rubedo that he still had to make good with Albedo, especially after Rubedo foolhardily claimed he did not need his twin. Such was a gigantic lie. Rubedo needed Albedo…more than ever.

But right now, Albedo needed Rubedo. It was only right that Rubedo adhere to his brother's needs before his own. Therefore, Rubedo quickly snapped himself out of his melancholic train of thought and refocused on his twin instead of himself. Rubedo did not want to wake Albedo, but Rubedo did not want to leave the younger sibling to sleep in a dirt-filled hole all night, either. Thus, Rubedo took another breath before getting to his feet and surveying the rest of the hole. The aperture was large enough for both of them, though Rubedo would be damned if he was going to sleep in there, too. Perhaps he deserved to sleep in a hole, but not Albedo.

Fortunately, the hole was spacious enough for Rubedo to climb down into it. Once inside and standing, the walls of the hole only reached mid-calf, giving Rubedo ample clearance for what he was about to do. Kneeling back down beside Albedo, the older twin gingerly rolled the sleeping boy onto his back. Bending Albedo's knees, one of Rubedo's arms slung under them. His other arm then propped Albedo's back upward, enough to temporarily cradle him. When Rubedo had his brother in carrying position, the redhead then mustered enough strength to lift the unconscious body out of the dirt. Despite the younger brother's sleep inducing dead weight, Albedo was not difficult to hoist. Rubedo was used to it, since he often had to carry his brother back to Albedo's cot whenever the younger twin woke Rubedo during the night for one reason or another. Plus, Dmitri ensured his U.R.T.V.s were built strong for combat so they could effortlessly carry heavy weapons no ordinary child could hold steady. And aside all else, Rubedo knew Albedo's depression from the past few months had been inducing poor nutrition on Albedo, too. Thus, it really was not a wonder how light Albedo felt.

Of course, Rubedo's own poor diet was plaguing him with similar symptoms, along with decreasing his strength. Despite how Rubedo was physically stronger than Albedo, his lack of food and sleep from the past three days were catching up to him and easily zapped the redhead's strength. No matter how light Albedo felt, Rubedo knew his own condition could not maintain this position for long. Not wanting to drop his sleeping brother, Rubedo quickly began to lift Albedo out of the hole. He managed to rest his twin's body on the surface ground before Rubedo's arms became mush. He needed another moment to recharge his energy before climbing out of the hole, nearly slipping due to the hole's unstable walls and his lack of strength. Once out, Rubedo rested on his hands and knees beside his still-sleeping brother, the redhead needing a moment to regain himself.

Rubedo was not strong enough to safely carry Albedo back to their room, that was certain. Plus, it would be too hard to carry Albedo back inside without being noticed by some late night employee. Thus, the older twin knew he and his brother were stuck outside until morning. Nigredo would naturally come looking for them and then he could help the twins back to their room. In any other situation, Rubedo would have already called Nigredo over the mental link, but Rubedo did not want to wake Nigredo anymore than he wanted to wake Albedo. After the way he treated them yesterday, Rubedo did not feel he had the right to disturb his brothers' rest.

So the next option was Rubedo and Albedo stayed in the forest until daylight. At least few people visited the forest area, so this moment would not get too embarrassing via an audience. Rubedo had a feeling Dmitri would not be very thrilled with this arrangement, either. Hopefully, Nigredo would wake up early, as the early-bird Variant usually did, and would be the first, and only, one to find Rubedo and Albedo in their predicament. Sure, Nigredo would tease them later but Rubedo figured it was a small price to pay.

Until then, Rubedo wanted himself and his twin to be somewhat comfortable. Unfortunately, whilst glancing around the forest area, Rubedo did not find too many comfortable places to sleep. The best location was in a nearby corner against the brick wall. It was not a bed but it was better than sleeping in a disgusting hole all night. Thus, after mustering another round of strength, Rubedo carefully picked up his brother and brought him over to the corner, propping Albedo up against the cold brick wall. Thereafter, Rubedo sat down beside his twin, shoulder-to-shoulder so they would remain propped-up through the duration of their stay.

Now better relaxed to the best of his ability, Rubedo glanced at his slumbering brother, still covered in dirt. Of course, Rubedo had his share of soil on himself, too, though the filth seemed more evident in Albedo's once-pristine white hair. Discreetly grinning to himself, the redhead then carefully extended a hand to Albedo's hair, brushing out a few specks of dirt.

"What am I gonna' do with you, Albedo?" Rubedo rhetorically cooed to nobody in particular. The redhead's expression softened whilst his hand finished cleaning and dropped back down to his side. Was there an answer to Rubedo's question?

Sakura had one.

"_I swear to God, sometimes he drives me crazy! Dammit, be lucky you're an only child, Sakura."_

"_Heh…well, I'm not going to be an only child for much longer, Rubedo."_

"_Oh right. Well, I sure hope your sister's not as obnoxious as Albedo. God, I don't know WHAT his problem is lately. He's so damn clingy when we come here."_

"_I think it's sweet, Rubedo."_

"_Yeah, well I think it's annoying. You would too if your sister was always attached to your hip. Jeez, Albedo has NO concept of 'personal space'!"_

"_I'm sure he doesn't do it to annoy you. Albedo probably does it because it makes him feel more secure. Maybe he also thinks it makes YOU feel secure, too."_

"_I dunno' about that…"_

"_Oh, come' on, Rubedo. Two of you are brothers, TWINS even! No matter what Albedo does, you can't tell me you dislike being with him."_

"…_No offence, Sakura, but you're lucky if you spend six hours at a time with Albedo. Try dealing with him twenty-four hours a day and you'll see a difference."_

"_Rubedo!"_

"_Well, it's true."_

"_Oh you! You're just being stubborn! What harm is there in admitting you like spending time with Albedo?"_

"_Sakura, you have NO idea the Pandora's Box that would be opened if I ever admitted that! As if Albedo isn't clingy enough, if he ever knew I actually LIKED it I'd NEVER get a moment alone! I wouldn't be able to go to the frikken bathroom without him tagging along for chrissake!"_

"_Heh…hehehehe…"_

"_Heh, it's not funny, Sakura."_

"_You're laughing, too, Rubedo."_

"_Yeah, well, I sure as hell wouldn't be laughing if Albedo ever pulled that. God, I'd kill him."_

"_No you wouldn't."_

"_Well, I'd definitely tell him to get the hell out of there, that's for sure! Of course, then I'd have to put up with his waterworks and God…he drives me nuts. I'm getting a headache just thinking about it."_

"_Oh Rubedo…the more you complain about it the more you're telling me you enjoy it."_

"…_Huh?!"_

"_Hehe. You know something, Rubedo? You're really lucky. You've got a twin brother who adores you and cherishes every single moment you spend with him. A lot of siblings can't stand each other, and it's especially common for younger siblings to compete with their older sibling. But Albedo's not like that at all. The only thing he competes for is time with you."_

"_That's one way of putting it, Sakura. If you ask me, he competes with EVERYONE to get that 'time' with me. He's so damn possessive sometimes."_

"_Maybe, but I don't think it's that bad, Rubedo. Albedo…Albedo competes for time, and he competes WITH time, too, after all. You know why."_

"…_Yeah. Ever since he found out he couldn't die he's been…"_

"…_Savoring every last moment?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_I can sympathize with Albedo."_

"_Sakura…don't talk like that."_

"_I don't think it hurts to be prepared, Rubedo. Besides, so many people go through life without enjoying it. My…experience has taught me that, no matter the outcome, I should savor life. I should savor the time I spend with my loved ones and live every day as if it were my last. Even when I finally do get cured I'm going to do the same: I'm going to cherish my life. Sometimes…sometimes I wonder if I became sick…as punishment for not savoring life, or not doing something meaningful."_

"_Sakura, your illness isn't your fault."_

"_I know that, but…ever since I got sick I've wanted to give my life some meaning. And when I get better, I want to teach my little sister the same thing. I think the key to life is cherishing it, no matter the circumstances. Despite everything that's happened to me, I'm still very, very happy, Rubedo."_

"_Sakura…"_

"_So don't make fun of people when they want to cherish something, Rubedo. Just as cherishing life makes me happy, I'm sure cherishing YOU makes Albedo happy. I can tell when he's with you he's his happiest. I only wish…that my little sister and I could share a relationship like that."_

"_You will, Sakura."_

"_I hope so. But, just in case, Rubedo…could you treat my little sister like you treat Albedo?"_

"…_Um uh…you' sure about that, Sakura? I think you're giving me a little too much credit with Albedo."_

"_Heh, well, maybe, but I can tell you care about him…even when you're too pig-headed to admit it."_

"'_Pig-headed'?! I'm not pig-headed!"_

"Yeah right," Rubedo muttered to himself as his recollection concluded. Sakura definitely had him read, that was certain. Why did he always act so damn stubborn about…everything? And yet, even when Sakura read him like a book the redhead still pleaded ignorant. Rubedo really needed to work on his stubborn streak.

"'Cherish every moment,' huh?" the older twin mulled, before glancing back down at his still-sleeping other half. Sakura was right; Albedo was fighting a perpetual hourglass, knowing sooner or later the sand would run out and Rubedo would be gone forever. The younger twin's wails still haunted Rubedo's thoughts from time to time:

"_Rubedo…don't leave me behind!"_

Biting his lip, Rubedo gently rested his head against Albedo's, no longer caring if dirt still lingered through the white locks. The maneuver caused Albedo's head to rest against Rubedo's nearest shoulder; the right side mere inches away from the heart they shared. As if the heart sensed Albedo's nearness, Rubedo felt it beat more rhythmically, much like a magnet resonated whenever its counterpart drew near. Rubedo experienced this sensation previously…just a few hours ago, actually.

_Albedo…I…I felt the same. I felt the connection when we were back-to-back earlier. I felt so_…Rubedo was too "pig-headed" to admit that even he occasionally had the identical dreams Albedo cherished so fondly, and they, too, filled Rubedo with a warm, blissful feeling. He felt so happy, secure, and whole, as if he and Albedo were as the fates intended. _…I felt so…complete._

"I don't want to leave you behind, Albedo," admitted Rubedo, closing his eyes and gently burying his face into his twin's thick white hair. "But…what else can I do? _Not_ die? I can't do that. The only other option is somehow…" he swallowed painfully. "…Taking you with me, but…I don't think I could do that either, Albedo. I don't want to see you die, anymore than you want to see me die."

The only other option left to either of them was…

_"…Live everyday as if it were my last."_

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, Albedo?" Rubedo whispered in a slight coo, feeling a bittersweet smile pull his lips. "Well, maybe I'll let you have your way…this once. It's what you'd want, right?"

And as if Albedo heard him, Rubedo heard his younger brother mutter a soft:

"Ru…"

Blinking, Rubedo instantly lifted his head, enough to check Albedo's face. Just as before, the younger twin was still sound asleep, though occasionally muttering "Ru" every once and a while.

"Ru…"

"Ru"…and only "Ru."

The right side of Rubedo's chest felt as though somebody squeezed it. Albedo's innocent murmurs brought back profoundly bittersweet memories of…a long time ago, so long Rubedo could only remember the feeling those memories gave, as opposed to any visual flashbacks.

It happened when they were very, very young…merely a few months old…when the twins were still conjoined. Like ordinary children, U.R.T.V.s did not develop any form of coherent vocal speech until they were well after two years old. However, what set the genetically engineered Designer Children apart from normal babies was how their telepathic speech developed in their infancy. Thus, infant U.R.T.V.s could still vaguely communicate across the mental link. Like any speech, telepathy took some time to master, but it was always the first form of communication a U.R.T.V. learned, and their vocal speech followed.

Being the child with the best wavelength, Rubedo matured quickly, whereas Albedo took a bit longer. Still, both infant twins could communicate across the mental link, though only via nonsense words a normal baby would verbally babble. But somehow, the twins vaguely understood each other, well enough to differentiate their other half's voice. A few weeks before their separation, the Variant twins learned their first telepathic words. Being the mature child of the pair, Rubedo quickly managed to identify his other half as "Albedo" (though it sounded more like "albydu" in their naïve infancy) whereas the less-developed younger twin identified his big brother simply as…

"…Ru."

After taking in a shaky breath amidst his throbbing half-heart, Rubedo quickly rested his head back atop Albedo's while absently staring through an opening in the canopy of forest trees. Rubedo could see the fake moon and stars twinkling above him, each glistening like celestial crystals.

"Ru…"

Or perhaps the glistening crystals…were tears.

"…Ru..."

Rubedo could not help it; another stubborn tear slid down his cheek, the teardrop moonlit for a second before disappearing into Albedo's white hair. To ensure that no more followed, Rubedo sniffled discreetly, attempting to suck in any more tears. Burying the tear-stained side of his face into Albedo's hair, Rubedo clamped his eyes shut. He was too Goddamned stubborn to cry or admit how much he desperately needed Albedo. Rubedo would get through this ordeal on his own. He had to.

And when that day finally came, when he would no longer have to maintain his façade, then Rubedo would relinquish his pain. At least there was some comfort in knowing Albedo would be waiting for him, and knowing Albedo, he would be waiting with open arms, too. The episode with Juli was proof that all Rubedo needed right now was to be held by someone who understood his pain, someone who would not scold or mock him for being human.

_Albedo…I need you. I need your help._

Until then, Rubedo would stay strong. He was, after all, the leader.

- - - - -

Nigredo was characteristically an early bird, known for being the first one awake and blessed with the duty of dragging Rubedo and Albedo out of bed. Rubedo was especially difficult to get up, notorious for groaning, "Gimmie five more minutes, dammit!" The strangest part was no matter how irritable Rubedo sounded, five minutes later he would finally be up and about on his perpetual energy rush. Wherever the hell he got the energy Nigredo never knew, though maybe those miraculous 'five more minutes' were the cause. Whatever the case, it was nice for Nigredo to wake up one morning without having the task of dealing with his weird older brother. Rubedo was an odd caliber of 'morning person.'

Of course, those typical mornings became scarcer as times got more melancholic, and frankly, even Nigredo admitted he missed the old days. Now, waking up and finding himself alone in his bedroom was rather disturbing. Like any other U.R.T.V., Nigredo had his share of separation anxiety whenever he was not near one of his siblings. However, the black-haired Variant was collected enough to think clearly and tap into the mental link. Albedo was still disconnected but Rubedo was easy to find, and just as Nigredo suspected, the leader was in the forest. Without the mental link, Nigredo knew Albedo must have been there, too.

Thus, Nigredo made haste in getting dressed and washed up. His morning ritual also included refilling Gaignun's food and water dishes, which the boy almost forgot to do in his hurry. After fixing himself up and fetching Gaignun's breakfast, Nigredo then headed out.

He did not get very far, though, when the young Variant met his sister just outside the bedroom's automatic door. The second the door slid shut Nigredo fell back against it in a feeble attempt not to collide with Citrine. Taken aback by the unexpected arrival, Nigredo felt his heartbeat quicken and a surprised gasp escape his mouth. "Citrine…"

"Good morning to you too, Nigredo," the blonde replied with a pint of sarcasm in her voice. Despite the early hours of the morning Citrine did not look tired. Apparently, she was accustomed to waking up early, just like Nigredo. Similarly to any other hour of the day, Citrine's face was painted with an arrogant look, one Nigredo could not help but find it too early in the day to deal with.

"What do you want, Citrine?" Nigredo asked casually, though not about to heed any of her false benevolence. His sister rarely visited the boys' ward, usually because Citrine figured she was 'too good' to visit the nasty males' area. The female U.R.T.V.s usually stayed on their side of the Yuriev Institute, and the males did the same. Thus, Citrine would not have come to the boys' area early in the morning for no damn reason.

Pleased to see her little brother caught on quickly, Citrine folded her arms across her small chest in an authoritative manner. "You and I are scheduled to report to Dr. Yuriev's office at o-seven-hundred hours. When you get back, tell Numbers 666 and 667 the three of you are to report at Diving Lab #3 at twelve-hundred hours for today's PATHOS analysis."

Nigredo nodded in confirmation. According to his room clock he had one hour before he needed to report to Dmitri's office, which gave Nigredo enough time to find his missing brothers. He was not thrilled to know the Variants had another PATHOS test today, but that was not the ultimate source of Nigredo's discomfort. Frankly, he could not help but wonder why Citrine came all this way to tell him something Dmitri could have easily announced over the intercom. Then again, something was telling Nigredo that his father never 'sent' Citrine, either. Judging by the keen look in the girl's blue eyes, Citrine was standing before Nigredo for a reason…a reason all her own.

"I'm only going to say this once, Number 669," started Citrine, sounding very similar to Dmitri at the moment. The Variant girl clearly took after their father's personality in almost every way, which saddened Nigredo. Rubedo thought Nigredo was wound tightly around Yuriev's finger, but Citrine was practically _fused_.

"I'm well aware of how 'badly' you feel regarding your friend the Red Dragon," the girl snorted rather mockingly, causing Nigredo to bite his tongue at Citrine's derogatory reference to his best friend. "And I'm well aware of how you feel like you're a 'caged bird,' too." No doubt, this was thanks to the mental link, and Nigredo cursed himself for not watching his thoughts.

"But like it or not, you have a duty to fulfill, as doI!" Citrine swore in a deep voice that sounded far too mature for a child of her size. Nigredo did not know much about girls, his only experience being with Citrine and Sakura: two polar opposite females of the same age. Sakura was carefree and perky, whereas Citrine enjoyed parading around like she was already a grown-up. Number 668 was the makeshift leader of the female units, and the only female Variant, which somehow filled Citrine's head with a cocky authority complex. Despite his distaste in her massive ego, Nigredo could not help but pity his older sister. Undoubtedly, Citrine's personality was Dmitri's doing. "Don't think for a moment that I'll betray my mission just because it might hurt _your_ feelings, Nigredo!"

This was no surprise to Nigredo. He and Citrine never shared a strong enough bond for either of them to truly care about the other's feelings, even if they did share the same mission. Nigredo would be lying if he said he did not wish his relationship with Citrine was better, but it was not 'better' and he grew to accept it. He and Citrine may have been alike, but they were not like Rubedo and Albedo…no matter how hard Nigredo wished it. The youngest Variant still cursed himself to this day for ever thinking he and Citrine could become close.

Admittedly, when they were younger and Nigredo first learned about his connection to his sister, Nigredo was thrilled. He liked Rubedo and Albedo, but Nigredo often felt like the 'third wheel' whenever the twins got close. Unlike Albedo, who jealously got between anyone who came close to Rubedo, Nigredo had no intentions of intruding into the twins' relationship. Nevertheless, Nigredo wished to share a bond with someone, just like Rubedo and Albedo. Thus, when Nigredo first learned about Citrine, he thought his wish would come true.

Sadly, his dream was instantly shattered when Nigredo got a crash-course in Citrine's attitude and mindset. The blonde nearly laughed in his face when Nigredo once suggested how after training him and her should "hang out together." Instead, Citrine just scowled and bluntly told Number 669 to "grow the hell up." But in a way, that terrible milestone helped Nigredo realize that, third wheel or not, Rubedo and Albedo did care about him. After all, the twins were the ones who comforted the baby Variant that lonely night when Citrine's hurtful words drove Nigredo to a very rare crying spell.

Nigredo hated his existence; he hated his duty and he hated his relationship with his sister. The raven-haired boy did not know what he did to deserve such a life, but Nigredo wished he could change it. Alas, his cage was destined to be his tomb.

"I'm well aware you could care less about my feelings, Citrine," Nigredo nonchalantly voiced, keeping his face as unemotional as possible. He had long since gotten over attempting to 'get along' with Number 668, and he considered Citrine no more respectable than the conceited standards. "On the other hand, Rubedo _does_ consider my feelings, and therefore it's only right that I consider his. You know as well as I do that he doesn't want to hurt anyone. He's willingly undergoing PATHOS to control the Red Dragon mode. Why can't we give him the chance to prove that he can control it?!"

"Don't be stupid, Nigredo," scoffed Citrine, hardly believing how foolish her little brother spoke. It was crystal clear that Nigredo was heavily influenced by Rubedo's foolish optimism, a bit too influenced for Citrine's comfort. "The Descent Operation is a month away. Even if Number 666 does manage to 'control' the Red Dragon before the Descent, he'll only have a basic understanding of it. The Red Dragon isn't something one can master overnight! I'm all for 666 learning to harness the Red Dragon, too, but I'm not stupid to believe I can relax for the rest of my life, either! We are _fail-safes_, Nigredo. As long as the Red Dragon is alive, restrained or not, our mission never ends. Stop pinning all of your hopes that PATHOS will be your 'get-out-of-jail-free card'!" she snapped, before knowingly cocking her head and causing her short blonde locks to sway against her cheekbones.

"And one more thing, Nigredo," Citrine added before turning away from the youngest Variant, preparing to leave before saying, "Stop pretending like you want Number 666 to control the Red Dragon for his own sake…when you want him to do it just so you don't have to kill him. Killing a man honestly is more noble than sparing him out of cowardice." With that, the female U.R.T.V. took a few steps down the corridor, away from Nigredo, before her voice echoed back, "Grow a spine already!"

"_When you finally learn to make decisions for yourself, let me know."_

Maybe he was a coward. Maybe Nigredo was not trapped in a cage due to Dmitri's influence, but via Nigredo's own cowardice. Yes, that was it. Nigredo was a coward.

…A coward still fated to kill his best friend.

_No_… Nigredo swore, before biting his lip and balling his right fist, scrunching his branded serial number. _I'll find a way to break free_, Nigredo swore confidently, before turning around in the opposite direction of his sister to head for the courtyard. _I'll find a way…WITHOUT killing Rubedo._

Further down the corridor, Citrine paused momentarily, listening to the echoing sounds of her little brother down the other end of the hall. Without even looking back, she traced his thoughts through the mental link and discreetly softened her expression.

_For your sake, Nigredo…I hope you DO find a way, because if I have to kill you to get to the Red Dragon, don't think I won't._

- - - - -

Fake songbirds twittered as 'normal morning' sound effects through the artificial outside world of the Yuriev Institute. By then, a sun shined across the courtyard and through gaps in the treetops of the forest area. The fake sunrays reached Rubedo's face, warm enough to awaken him from his slumber. There was no way of telling the exact time of morning, though the redhead was pleased to see daylight. His back ached from his sitting position against the brick wall all night, but it was nothing a good stretch could not fix. As planned, Rubedo instinctively began tracing the mental link for Nigredo, hoping to fulfill his plans of contacting the littlest brother come morning.

Fortunately, it did not take Rubedo long to find Nigredo, as he noticed the black-haired boy casually strolling into the overgrown forest area just before Rubedo contacted him. Apparently, Nigredo did not need Rubedo's call to find his brothers, which made Rubedo's job easier. Of course, the second Nigredo reached his older brothers, a small smirk pulled the youngest boy's lips. "So, this is where you two have been hiding," Nigredo lightly teased whilst folding his arms.

Shooting the smirk right back at the younger Variant, Rubedo narrowed his eyes before glancing back at his twin, still sleeping soundly against his shoulder. Rubedo hated to wake Albedo, but he did not want anymore of an audience than Nigredo. Sighing, Rubedo gently nudged his shoulder to softly wake Albedo. "Come' on, wake up Sleeping Beauty," teased Rubedo, making light of the situation.

A short snicker came from Nigredo as Rubedo attempted to wake Albedo. "Maybe Sleeping Beauty needs a kiss to wake up."

"You can kiss my ass, Nigredo," Rubedo shot back, before hearing Albedo stir awake. Slowly and groggily the white-haired boy's head rose from Rubedo's shoulder, his neck feeling rather stiff from the odd sleeping position all night. During a yawn Albedo's hand rose to his stiff neck before getting the kinks out. When his drowsy vision cleared, Albedo looked rather confused. The last he remembered, he was sleeping in Rubedo's grave, and now…Albedo was out against the brick wall beside…

"Rubedo!" gasped Albedo, stunned to see his twin was right next to him. What happened last night? Certainly, if Albedo fell asleep by Rubedo he would have known, right? "W-what…what're you doing here?" Albedo asked timidly, at first wondering if Rubedo somehow came after him to scold the younger twin for yesterday. Glancing downward, Albedo blinked remorsefully, fearing whatever scolding his older brother might issue. It was certainly not uncommon for Rubedo to rant to his twin for behavior similar to yesterday's. Often, such lectures drove Albedo to tears, which he could already feel brimming his eyes. He did not like it when Rubedo yelled at him. "Are you…angry?"

It was not uncommon for Rubedo to reply, "No, I'm _furious_! What the hell's the matter with you?!" and so forth. However, knowing Albedo was not technically in the wrong this time, Rubedo put on a sheepish grin and shook his head, much to his twin's surprise. "Na," was all the redhead said, causing Albedo to look back up at his twin with wide purple eyes. The expression on Albedo's face was rather silly and caused Rubedo to giggle at how stunned his younger brother looked. Playfully raising a hand, the redhead ruffled Albedo's dirty white hair in an impish manner. "I'm not angry, Albedo."

Blinking a few times to make sure Rubedo was not fooling him, Albedo's mouth opened a crack in surprise. It was not common for Rubedo to let him off the hook when it came to matters like these. And yet, lo and behold, Rubedo was not mad at all…he was even smiling and laughing! "…You…mean it?" Albedo choked, swallowing a developing lump in his throat.

"Well, he did stay out here all night with you," Nigredo noted matter-of-factly, causing Albedo's head to snap towards Nigredo's direction for a moment. "I guess that says something."

It certainly did. Hell, it said many things; so many 'things' Albedo could barely process all of them before he heard his twin chuckle again, drawing Albedo's gaze back to Rubedo. It did not take long before the redhead's image became distorted behind a layer of welling tears in Albedo's eyes.

Noticing the inevitable tears, Rubedo's grin broadened in an attempt to keep the mood light. "Jeez, don't look so surprised, Albedo," the older twin teased, getting a kick out of the flabbergasted expression written across Albedo's face. "I know, I know, it's hard to believe the 'evil twin' _actually_ cares about you but-!"

Rubedo never managed to say the rest before the wind was knocked out of him via an instant hug from his twin. The rest of Rubedo's words came out in a surprised gasp of air as Albedo's arms threw themselves tightly around the redhead. The second the middle child's head of white hair reached Rubedo's shoulder a stifled sob was released. Thereafter, Rubedo felt his shoulder dampen as his brother's body shook in coordination with his younger half's whimpers.

"R-Rubedo…" Albedo choked, sniffling in order to more easily add "…You don't know how…how h-happy that makes m-me."

Blinking at the words, Rubedo then peered at his vibrating brother's buried head through the corner of his eye. Unable to prevent a sympathetic smile from his lips, Rubedo gently held his crying brother, rubbing Albedo's trembling back. In their current position, Rubedo could feel their shared hearts beat together in a jubilant rhythm. Undeniably, that joy was Albedo's, and Rubedo could feel it. It was rather obvious how happy Albedo felt.

"I've got a gist, Albedo," whispered Rubedo, once again resting his head against his twin's, being mindful to blink back the fluids stinging his own eyes. He and Albedo were practically symbiotic creatures, after all. Thus, if Albedo was happy…so was Rubedo. Neither felt this happy in a very long time.

The good feeling was mutual all around, too. Just watching the sight filled Nigredo with a sense of happiness and put a genuine smile on his face. None of the children had felt so happy in quite a while.

- - - - -

_Rubedo cares._

_Rubedo TRULY cares about me._

_I'm so…happy._

Albedo knew the difference between tears of sadness and tears of joy, and the later was definitely what he was shedding at the moment. Even whilst being under a running showerhead, the tears still flowed, camouflaging with the cascading water inside his shower stall.

Following his and Rubedo's little 'reunion,' Nigredo suggested the boys wash up after being outside in the dirt all night. By now, Rubedo had already taken his shower and currently it was Albedo's turn. Afterwards, the Variant boys planned on getting breakfast down in the cafeteria before Nigredo left for some meeting at seven o'clock. Albedo was too overjoyed to notice the details. He was so far up cloud nine the middle child felt like he was floating.

_Rubedo truly cares about me, after all_,smiled Albedo, willingly letting the tears fall as his euphoria enveloped him. He desperately needed Rubedo to tell him those words, and now that Rubedo did, Albedo could not have been happier. As the dirt washed off his body Albedo felt like he was being cleansed of the pessimistic demons from earlier that attempted to negate Rubedo's love for him. Apparently, the twins' bond was far stronger than words could break. Rubedo had a bad habit of mouth-shooting, that was all. He never truly meant he did not need Albedo.

But Rubedo meant the words he said in the forest, that much Albedo could tell. The white-haired twin could tell the heart-felt, apologetic honesty emanating from Rubedo. Rubedo cared, and had always cared. Otherwise, he would have left Albedo to rot in the grave.

_Grave…_

…_Rubedo's…grave…_

The grave Albedo dug…

…For when Rubedo eventually died.

It did not take long before his jovial tears morphed back into the familiar tears of sadness. Being reminded of Rubedo's eventual death doused any of Albedo's happiness by a shower of reality, causing the younger twin to cough back a sob and lower his soaked head. Yes, Rubedo cared, and yes, Rubedo would eventually die. Such reality only made warm, tender moments with Albedo's brother more painful. Eventually, Rubedo would be gone and would never be there to hold Albedo while he cried. Who would hold Albedo when he mourned Rubedo's death? Perhaps Nigredo, provided the youngest Variant was not already dead by then. Once Rubedo and Nigredo were both gone, whom could Albedo seek? The answer was obvious; nobody, for once Rubedo and Nigredo died, Albedo would be all alone.

"No…" Albedo choked, before slamming a fist against the white tiled wall of his shower stall. Fortunately, the noisy shower muted most sounds, enabling Albedo to beat his fist against the wall a few more times in his frustration. "No. No! NO!!" he cried, pounding his fist redundantly as more and more tears spilt from his eyes. It was not fair! Why was he teased with happy moments with Rubedo, only to eventually lose his beloved twin? Did fate not realize such happy moments only made the separation more painful? "_NO_-ow!!"

The last cry came out in a painful yelp when Albedo felt his pounding hand surge in pain. He instantly cradled his injured hand to with his other, feeling it throb underneath a layer of bleeding broken skin. Albedo was unsure if he broke his hand, though he never had to worry. He was once again reminded of his horrible fate the moment his bleeding hand glowed and automatically fixed itself. When the last bit of bone and skin was mended, the shower's water then cleansed Albedo's hand of the blood, vanishing and making his hand look as good as new.

The 'good news' only induced more tears down the Variant's face. Albedo's curse was merciless.

Shaking his head in despair, Albedo then glanced back up where his hand pounded the wall. Despite the boy's size, he was strong enough to crack a white tile, which could not repair itself. In addition, the crack was lined with a trail of blood seeking refuge from the onslaught of the showerhead. It was rather fascinating, actually. It was almost as though the blood was doing its very best to stay intact for as long as possible before getting washed down the drain. Either that, or the blood was just cowering from its inevitable fate. Albedo did not know, nor did he care.

However, the blood still fascinated him, causing the young boy to get as close to the crack as possible and focus his violet eyes on the life fluid. It really was beautiful, a rich, vibrant crimson that made Albedo suddenly feel a little better. He liked that bright red color, and it had always comforted him.

_Rubedo…_

But just like the inevitable fate, the predator water finally found the hiding red blood and washed it from the crack. Rubedo was gone.

_No…_

But…Albedo could bring him back. Yes, Albedo knew what to do now. So he slammed both of his fists against the wall, breaking their bones and staining the cracked tiles with the beautiful crimson. Just as before, Albedo's body healed himself and the water was quick to wash away the stains.

He would not let fate have its way again. If Albedo could not keep Rubedo forever, the next best thing was a painkiller that reminded him of his precious twin. And since Albedo could not die, he had a limitless supply of blood that could forever intoxicate him in Rubedo's memory. He could afford to waste as much as he wanted! Rubedo would be so happy…all of the blood would be shed in his honor.

_Yes…all for you…Rubedo_… Albedo smiled as he resorted to snapping one of his fingers backwards. Yes, it hurt, but it was for Rubedo, so that was okay. The beautiful red liquid poured from his broken finger, while Albedo hastily wiped the blood on the white walls before his regeneration took affect. When he realized he was struggling against his powers and the showerhead, Albedo just worked faster. Another finger would be snapped, more blood would be painted on the wall, and Albedo would beat the imaginary clock. Yes, he could do it for Rubedo.

When the fingers were not enough, Albedo resorted to his arms. Yes, they had more blood in them, anyway. The beautiful red could cover more of the tiled wall's surface area, too. Yes, very pretty. The damned water was against him, but Albedo never shut it off. Albedo was enjoying this challenge of defying fate; that bitch he called 'destiny.'

He worked faster, harder, and bit through the pain. Rubedo would be proud of him. It was a good choice to use his arms, since they bled more easily and profusely. From experience Albedo knew the wrist veins bled superfluously. His body regenerated, he bashed his arms harder against the wall. When that got boring he dug his nails into his red-spraying veins, or chewed off his arm like an animal. Yes, yes…the shower was becoming red. Beautiful.

He needed to work quicker…harder…the water was persistent. He dug deeper, bashed harder, chewed faster, and the surroundings became redder and redder. He was just as stubborn as Rubedo. Oh it was lovely being surrounded by the rubescent essence. The harder Albedo worked the better he felt. He found his painkiller. Yes, Rubedo would be happy for him…so very, very happy.

The shower dared to spew out more cleansing water…Albedo would take care of it. There was a sharp snap against the wall, and then the tearing of skin. Who needed arms, especially when he could regenerate them? The other one had to go, too. Then he could whisk himself around the shower's four walls until they were all red. Yes…all red for Rubedo. _Snap…tear…thud…thud…THUD…THUD…all for Rubedo…_

"What the hell's going on in there, Albedo? You' demolishing the place or what?"

The sound of his twin's voice instantly enchanted Albedo, causing him to stop and turn around to face the reddened door to his shower stall. Not a second later, the door opened a crack, modestly so Rubedo to check and make sure Albedo was okay and add, "Don't tell me you slipped and fell agai-"

Albedo could not prevent a curled smile from his face when he noticed the expression on Rubedo's face: pale, wide-eyed, and mouth agape. Stunned. Oh…Rubedo liked Albedo's little tribute! He really liked it! Albedo knew he would.

"Rubedo…" Albedo beamed brightly, before feeling his lost limbs regenerate. The showerhead still attempted to wash off the crimson all over him and the walls, but Albedo outran it. There was too much red for even the shower to keep up. He won. "Oh…I'm glad you like it, Rubedo," the bloodstained boy gushed, pointing with a newly regenerated arm at the beautiful scarlet walls. Gingerly, Albedo kicked aside the two previously discarded red arms clogging the vermillion drain, along with various discarded parts littering the floor that might hinder his getting closer to Rubedo. Staggering through the rose water, Albedo took careful steps towards his silent twin. "I'm so happy you…Ru…"

Wait…something was not right. But before Albedo could understand what that 'something' was, he suddenly felt light-headed and dizzy. His steps became uncertain and before he knew it his bare foot slipped against the bloody water. For a moment, everything went white before it went black.

Somehow…someway, Rubedo managed to catch his brother. The second the soaked, bloody body met his own, Rubedo stumbled back to his knees, his own legs suddenly drained of strength. The showerhead continued to rain down upon him and his brother as Rubedo held Albedo, attempting to listen to his twin's breathing over the running water.

"…Albedo…?" Rubedo blinked, gently shaking Albedo, though it was difficult to notice with his own body violently trembling. Swallowing, Rubedo shook his wet brother harder, feeling his blue eyes widen with each passing second of silence from his twin. "Albedo? _Albedo_!"

No response. Rubedo thought he could still feel his twin's heartbeat in his chest, but it was too hard to differentiate between the redhead's fear-induced vibrating. Shaking Albedo harder, Rubedo's breathing became very uneasy as terrified wide eyes glanced back at various bloodstains on the wall untouched by the water.

_What in God's name was he doing in here?!_

Rubedo did not have time to find the answer. His twin was not responding…the walls around them were covered in rancid blood…and…the shower's floor was littered with assorted gore.

And Albedo was not responding…

"_Albedo_! _ALBEDO_!!" screamed Rubedo, shaking his battered twin violently, never noticing that his own clothes were red-stained as well. What the hell happened?! Why the hell was Albedo not responding?! He could not die, right?! _Right_?!

Rubedo was not brave enough to find out anymore. Too terrified by…too much…Rubedo latched onto his unmoving twin and screamed at the top of his lungs.

- - - - -

**TO BE CONTINUED**

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**A/N**: So now, another chapter ends on a cliffhanger. How did the highly anticipated self-mutilation scene fare? Creepy? Juicy? I'd love to know what you think!

For readers wondering what the $#% was going through my head in this chapter's ending, let me explain. The mutilation scene, in case you didn't notice, is quite symbolic. But in a nutshell, I've always believed the adult Albedo's brutality stems back to his Rubedo obsession. It's too damn coincidental that Albedo favors bloodshed, the identical color of Rubedo's hair. Bear in mind, in the English edited versions of the video games, Albedo's bloody moments were edited. One scene in Episode I, he dismembers a Kirschwasser's arm, which is bloodless in the English version (yet includes the bloody sound effects a la English Episode III), but it's very bloody in the Japanese version. There are several "red" comments Albedo makes during the series, too ("Red-haired Rubedo," and you can't tell me his "red will become white" was not some dig). Albedo definitely has a fixation with red for more than obvious reasons. That's where the self-mutilation scene comes into play (so I didn't include it just for the sake of having Albedo go insane for no reason).

So, other than the infamous scene, what did you think of this chapter? I know I enjoyed it. What happened with Albedo in the end? Chapter VIII will explain (though come' on, he's not dead. Any Xenosaga fan should know that by now).

What did you think about the Rubedo/Albedo-ness in this chapter? I suppose the "Sleeping Beauty" crack might be pushing the envelope on "brotherly love," but it was a joke, too, so it's still debatable. Yes, in honesty, I do have a weakness for Rubedo/Albedo (yaoi or not yaoi), but I just don't see myself writing as good of yaoi fanfics as other true-blue talented Rubedo/Albedo authors. Maybe I'm wrong, I dunno.

I also hope you liked Citrine's inclusion. I feel bad that she's been lurking in the shadows all this time (kinda' like she does in the games). Yet, she does get a decent role during "The PATHOS Incident," as you'll eventually see. Despite my rare inclusions of her in my stories I do like her and try to include her whenever possible. Heavens knows there are not enough fanfics with Citrine.

"The PATHOS Incident" is not far, now. Chapter VIII comes next week.

So did you like this chapter? I sure hope so. Lemmie know with a review, pretty please?


	8. Limits

**COPYRIGHT NOTE**: I don't own _Xenosaga_

**COMMENTS**: Slightly shorter chapter this time (at least compared to the last few). However, trust me when I say the next chapter will more than make up for this one's short length. So in the meantime, this installment will set the stage for Chapter IX, which will be "the big one" so to speak.

So what's ahead this time? Well, obviously there'll be a follow-up to the last chapter's gem (you know what I'm talking about, heh). A bit more insight will be shed on lesser-emphasized characters, too, namely Citrine and especially Dmitri. Plus, there'll be tons of foreshadowing for the next big chapter on the horizon. Enjoy.

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PATHOS: Chapter VIII

_Aiselne Nocturnus_

- - - - -

"**Limits"**

- - - - -

The monitor beeped rhythmically throughout the sterile infirmary of the Yuriev Institute. Inside, a female nurse was leafing through a clipboard's worth of papers, her eyes darting from the medical sheets to the patient laying in bed before her. Currently, the young boy's previously bloodied body was now covered by a hospital gown and bloodstained linen. After double-checking her papers, the woman then shook her head at the sleeping white-haired Variant. She so nearly gave the U.R.T.V. a sympathetic glance before the room's automatic door slid open and the incoming visitor caught her attention.

"Status," Dr. Yuriev issued, walking into the sterile, machine-filled infirmary and standing before the young nurse next to the middle Variant's bed. Dmitri's stern expression easily intimidated the woman, causing her to swallow nervously before speaking.

"The patient suffered brief syncope, most likely due to hypoxia," the nurse reported, handing Dmitri the clipboard for him to read, himself. "The significant blood loss caused a drop in blood pressure and languid circulation of oxygen to his brain. Thus, it prompted him to faint before his body could fully regenerate and establish normal circulation, sir. He has since fully recovered and is just sleeping."

Dmitri hid his displeasure from the nurse, nodded her to leave, and thereafter glanced back at Albedo's slumbering form. "What a nuisance," the man sighed as he glared at the unconscious boy. In a way, Dmitri was not surprised that this situation happened. Most of the Variants had not been trained to use their powers to their full potential yet, which was why PATHOS-type experiments were being utilized. Only Citrine and Nigredo had been given special training for their secret duty.

Conversely, Albedo and Rubedo were simply learning about their powers 'as they went,' not fully understanding and maturing their inherent abilities. The twin Variants accidentally stumbled upon their unique powers by twists of fate. Albedo learned his ability shortly before the episode with Number 623, and Rubedo discovered the Red Dragon in Sakura's winter domain. Perhaps the twins' naivety was their father's fault, not that Dmitri would admit such. True, he did spend more time training Nigredo and Citrine, but Dr. Yuriev felt more secure leaving Rubedo and Albedo in the dark.

After all, the twins were two very powerful U.R.T.V.s who would probably love nothing better than to eliminate their bastard of a father. Dmitri was technically at the mercy of all the U.R.T.V.s, but Rubedo and Albedo were exceptional threats; Albedo was immortal and Rubedo was the Red Dragon. If the twins ever found out about their Salvator father's piece of U-DO inside his body…what in God's name was stopping Numbers 666 and 667 from killing Yuriev? By no means was Dmitri 'afraid' of Rubedo and Albedo; he just refused to die until his plans came full-circle. Thus, Dmitri had to stay alive, at least long enough to see the Descent Operation next month. Yet, between the spiraling events of the past few months that tested Rubedo and Albedo's mental limits, Dmitri knew he had better start working faster before his plans went to hell.

Such was why _Dmitri_ bumped up the Descent Operation by a month. The Federation was, after all, wrapped around the Salvator Faction's finger. Dmitri never told such to his Designer Children, solely because it was none of their business and made it easier for the kids to think the "Federation" was at fault…even if the Federation was Salvator's puppet. Plans were going at a faster rate than originally expected, but Dmitri knew the stage was set. _U-TIC's_, or more specially _Ormus_'possession of the Zohar would be severed on Miltia and bring Dmitri one step closer to accomplishing his goal. Immortality was still a while away, but it was near…Dmitri could sense it.

Plus, as a nice added bonus, once the affair on Miltia concluded, Dmitri would be able to put his headaches to rest concerning his U.R.T.V.s. He already had his fail-safe ready to carry out the deed, even if the fail-safe did not entirely know it, yet. Technically, Dmitri's fail-safe was always available in the event a U.R.T.V. attempted to go against his or her father. Of course, Dmitri was not about to eliminate his anti-U-DO clones until they completed the duty on Miltia he wrote for them. Besides, he was dealing with impressionable children; they did not need to be killed for him to get his point across. All Dmitri had to do was establish authority and the brats submitted. His fail-safe was simply kept in the shadows…just in case. Yuriev's centuries-long existence taught him to master precautions.

Everything was going according to plan, or at least regarding the most pivotal elements. Dmitri would be lying if he said his current headaches with the Variants were not getting on his last nerves, but he only had to put up with them for another month. Once his little lambs flocked into Miltia, the altar would be set and their sacrificial blood would end their problems and advance Dmitri's goal. Dr. Yuriev had dealt with his children long enough; it was time he started the next phase of his grand scheme. His next target would be Parliament, and soon after…Abel's Ark. Dmitri's objective was not far, now.

So in the meantime, Dmitri could tolerate his U.R.T.V.'s nonsense for a little while longer. That did not mean he had to 'enjoy' it, of course. Silently musing, Dmitri set aside the nurse's clipboard before raising his voice enough to wake the sleeping Variant in bed. "Get up, Albedo," he ordered, his authoritative tone loud enough to stir the boy from his sleep.

The second the middle child's eyes fluttered open they blinked in surprise to see Dmitri's glare bearing down on him. Albedo could think of much better people he would rather see upon awakening. Like his twin, Albedo immensely disliked his father, especially due to Dmitri's underhandedness. The U.R.T.V.s' father did too many sneaky things for Albedo's comfort.

"The next time you want to fool around with your powers…" Dmitri started, folding his arms firmly. "…Make sure you actually know what the hell you're doing. You may possess regenerative abilities but they're too premature right now for you to foolhardily mutilate yourself. Your blood flow and cellular growth could not keep up, which was what rewarded you with a syncope," Dmitri explained, before glancing away momentarily with a disgusted exhale. "Not to mention leaving one hell of a mess in your shower stall. Rest assured, you _will_ clean it once you're discharged…which should be very soon, seeing as you're completely healed now."

Albedo remained quiet, doing his best to keep his mouth shut. From experience, the boy knew it was never advantageous to talk back to his father, no matter how much Albedo abhorred Dmitri. The U.R.T.V.s' father was just too stubborn to truly listen to his children and Albedo learned a long time ago to save his breath.

Frankly, Albedo's silence was a godsend, since Dmitri preferred the boy to be quiet as opposed to his typical waterworks. Considering Albedo's silence as an affirmation, Dmitri then stole a glance at the bloodied sheets covering the Variant. "Get dressed and report to Diving Lab #3 at twelve-hundred hours," Dmitri issued, glancing at the infirmary's wall clock reading 10:46. The incident with Albedo significantly altered Dmitri's morning plans. Nigredo and Citrine's meeting had to be rescheduled for later, due to the black-haired boy being too worried about his unstable brother who decided to butcher himself on a whim. Dmitri did not know, or care, why Albedo did such to himself. Any other 'normal' parent would have been mortified to know their child dismembered himself on a suicidal level, but not Dmitri Yuriev. All Dmitri did know was that Albedo's behavior was, and always had been, one gigantic pain in the ass.

And Albedo's self-mutilation was not the only 'behavior' Dmitri disliked, either.

"One more thing, Number 667," Dmitri added, narrowing his eyes down at the still-reclined child. "I'm well aware of what happened between you and Miss Mizrahi the other day," noted Yuriev, noticing Albedo's purple eyes instantly widen in horror. Albedo was no better at controlling his emotions than his twin. "Even unauthorized Encephalon dives are recorded into the U.M.N. database, boy."

Albedo felt as though his heart dropped to his stomach. "You…_knew_?" the boy barely squeaked before swallowing a lump in his throat. Yuriev did not even have to answer or nod for Albedo to already know the truth. Apparently, the white-haired boy's 'secret' regarding the true means of Sakura's death was not as 'secret' as Albedo prayed. Plus, who was to say that Dmitri was the 'only' person who knew the truth? _Oh God_… Albedo fretted, his frightened eyes locked onto Dmitri's as the middle child skittishly dared to ask, "Did you…does…Rubedo know?" Albedo did not know what he would do if his twin knew the truth about Sakura's death and played naïve around Albedo the whole time.

Fixing his glasses, Dmitri glanced away for a moment. "Not that I'm aware of," the father truthfully spoke, much to Albedo's unrivaled relief. "I never told him, if that's what you're wondering. Judging by his little scene the other day it's very unlikely he knows."

Albedo did not particularly like the way Dmitri spoke of Rubedo's "little scene the other day." The middle child was often exposed to verbal abuse like this, taunted by Dmitri for being such a crybaby. Albedo was used to it, thus he could take it, but he never tolerated when people mocked Rubedo. Albedo never let the standards get away with their crap, and he was not about to let Dmitri off, either.

However, before Albedo could counter Dmitri's comment, the man spoke again to purposely keep Albedo's mouth shut. "Of course, that doesn't mean I _won't_ tell Rubedo, either," Dmitri added, finally locking his gaze back on the boy again, causing Albedo's face to drain of color via the threat. "Frankly, I fail to see how knowing the truth about Miss Mizrahi's death could benefit him now," especially when the link master and his comrades only had one more month to live. Naturally, Dmitri did not include that little tidbit of information.

"However…" continued Yuriev, before taking one step closer to Albedo's bed, glaring his sardonic navy eyes deeply into Albedo's frightened violet orbs. "…I may consider enlightening Number 666 about Miss Mizrahi's real death…if his damned twin doesn't start getting his act together!" snarled Dmitri, keeping a level head of authority while putting ample indignation in his voice to make sure Albedo got the message. "With the Descent Operation a month away I don't have time for your nonsense. If you don't want to pull yourself together that's your business, but don't let it get in the way of _mine_, Albedo!" Dmitri warned, his deep tone easily scaring the boy into submission, something Dmitri liked. Of course, Dmitri was not foolish enough to think Albedo was afraid of _him_; the boy was just scared of the possibility of Dmitri telling Rubedo the truth.

"Don't forget that I created you, Number 667. You may not possess the ability to die, but I'm sure you're well aware that living can sometimes be worse than dying, especially when one is forced to eternally live _alone_," Dmitri emphasized, noticing faint tears started lining the rim of Albedo's wide eyes. Even Yuriev was well aware of the U.R.T.V.s' inherent fears, fears he specifically embedded in all of his children to make them more susceptible and obedient. "I have ways of making your immortal life worse than death in Hell. If your twin means as much to you as you claim, I suggest you do exactly as I say from now on."

His point made, Dmitri then backed away from Albedo's bed, turning around to fetch the boy's files before leaving. Naturally, the child was too stunned, and afraid, to speak, but Dmitri preferred the silence. He did not have the patience, or the time, to put up with Albedo anymore. The second PATHOS test was due in about an hour and there was much preparation beforehand. Reaching the infirmary's closed door, Dmitri almost walked through before glancing over his shoulder back at the silent middle child.

"And one more thing, Albedo," added Dmitri, glaring his dark eyes back into the frightened boy. "I created you…and I _spared_ you, too. I could've easily disposed of Rubedo's 'appendage' when he was an infant, but for some ungodly reason I thought you might prove useful." Perhaps, even beings like Yuriev who transcended centuries could be incorrect from time to time. Scoffing at his own damned foolishness, Dmitri then turned his head away from Albedo, conveniently when he noticed the boy's eyes water more intensely. "I suggest you start showing your father a bit more gratitude for granting your life, even if that life was a total failure."

With that, Dr. Yuriev disappeared behind the sliding door, leaving Albedo behind in the infirmary. The moment his father left, Albedo felt the tears silently cascade down his cheeks, causing the boy to furiously wipe them away. Albedo was never ashamed to cry, but he did not believe Dmitri was worthy of shedding tears over. The boy did not like to give his father the satisfaction in knowing that bastard made him cry. He would not cry for Dmitri, and Albedo would be damned if he would show Dmitri any "gratitude." Dmitri's illustrious "gratitude" was what plagued Albedo with a life he could never escape! In "sparing" Albedo, Dmitri willingly cursed U.R.T.V. Number 667! Perhaps it would have been better if Albedo were disposed early in his life. Albedo had no purpose, and in retrospect it was a miracle Dmitri allowed him to live twelve long, pointless years.

"Why the hell do I exist?" muttered the boy, glancing hopelessly down at the hands over his lap, staring through tear-filled eyes. His right hand bore his serial number, 667, the mark of a U.R.T.V. Variant with no reason for existing. How was it possible that Albedo could live forever…and serve no purpose?

Nothing made sense anymore.

- - - - -

Nothing made sense anymore. Everything was spiraling out of control, linked together via a series of heart-wrenching events that ate away at Rubedo's sanity bit by bit. First it was Albedo's immortality, then Sakura's death, then Dmitri's pressure, then PATHOS, then Nigredo, _then_…then…then Albedo's…self-mutilation. Somehow, in the midst of the madness that was dubbed his "life" at the moment, Rubedo was expected to continue getting up every morning, carry out his duties, and do it with a level head. Yes, for a time, the link master maintained the charade.

But now…the charade was almost impossible to uphold anymore. No matter how hard Rubedo tried he could not get the images of Albedo out of his head. What was worse was how those images tore at Rubedo so deeply and painfully the redhead almost wanted to scream again. What in God's name possessed his twin to do that?! It was bad enough Albedo once pulled a gun on himself a few months ago. However, Rubedo figured his brother would not pull something like that again, either. Yet, lo and behold, Rubedo found his disturbed little brother happily self-dismembered and covered in his own blood, all the while wearing a twisted smile on his face. How often did Albedo do this to himself? Albedo's regeneration prevented scar tissue evidence of any past injuries. Therefore, it was anyone's guess whether or not Albedo had been making a habit of hurting himself, like those "cutters" Rubedo read about. There was no denying that Albedo's state of mind was getting critical.

Rubedo was losing his twin. The redhead could feel the painful drifting inside his right heart. Both brothers feared losing the other, but Rubedo found an odd, yet guiltily selfish, reassurance in knowing Albedo could not die and leave _Rubedo_ behind. True, Albedo could never die, but he was still leaving Rubedo…slowly…painfully…and mentally. Rubedo was almost certain that his twin was completely 'gone' when Albedo passed out in the shower. The bloodied boy was still alive, but his lack of response filled Rubedo with unparalleled dread, as if whenever Albedo woke up, he would no longer be Albedo anymore, or at least the Albedo Rubedo cherished. If that were the case, then what would Rubedo do?

The link master did not know what to do anymore. Nothing made sense. All there was…was pain…much of it…too much for one boy, genetically engineered or not, to handle.

"667 is currently stable," Dmitri's voice blankly announced as he strolled down the corridor by the infirmary. To the left side of the hall was a long bench where the remaining Variant boys sat waiting for news about Albedo's state. Rubedo and Nigredo had been sitting in silence after they brought Albedo into the infirmary, and neither boy left the spot since. Their uniforms, Rubedo's especially, were both stained in blood since the two boys carried the unconscious Albedo to the infirmary. By now the blood was dry, though it did not diminish the fact that the children were a total mess…in more ways than one.

"The second PATHOS experiment will commence at twelve-hundred hours," added Dmitri, making sure his voice was loud enough for the boys to hear. Naturally, Nigredo stared up at his father, while Rubedo kept his gaze downward, never once humoring Yuriev. "Albedo's fully recovered and in condition for the exam. I suggest you two clean up and be ready as well. Understood?"

Nigredo had no trouble nodding in response, though Rubedo remained frozen, unmoving from his spot as if he were a statue. He heard everything Dmitri said but the redhead was too downcast to reply. Plus, a welling anger inside of Rubedo burned via Dmitri's orders. How the hell could that bastard send the Variants back into PATHOS after one of their own brothers mutilated himself? Albedo might not be dead, but was Dmitri so blind to how traumatic the experience was for Rubedo and Nigredo? How could their father possibly expect the U.R.T.V.s to perform well after such a frightening experience? Dmitri bitched over Rubedo's anxiety levels yesterday during the first PATHOS test! Did the bastard really think today's analysis would prove 'better' after Rubedo found his beloved twin bleeding himself to near-death?! What the hell was that asshole Dmitri thinking?!

"Is that _understood_, Number 666?" repeated Dmitri, his tone sharper to regain Rubedo's attention.

"Go to hell," Rubedo snarled under his breath, causing Nigredo beside him to jerk nervously at the link master's guile. The redhead did not care anymore. Everyone he loved was slowly slipping through his fingers: first Sakura, now Albedo. Who was next? Nigredo? Rubedo preferred not to know. However, the leader would be damned if he willingly did as Dmitri said anymore. Rubedo did not care about Dmitri. The boy refused to keep wasting his life trying to impress a parent that would always consider him nothing but a 'weapon.' Rubedo had long since gotten over the sadness of not having a benevolent father-son relationship. Back when he was very little, Rubedo wished relations with Dmitri were better, but now…Rubedo did not give a damn. He did not care if he was the link master anymore. "Take your 'leadership' and shove it up your ass."

Frankly, Dmitri was not surprised, nor fazed, by Rubedo's words. The father was well aware that his son despised his leadership role. However, Dmitri was not about to pamper the kid, either. Like it or not, Rubedo was, and would always be, the link master. U.R.T.V. Number 666 was not deemed leader for the hell of it; he was the leader based on his perfect wavelength. To a certain extent even Dmitri did not control the development of Rubedo's mental pattern. Such was just how the child's body formed. The mental wavelength of a person's consciousness was something modern science could not entirely control. Thus, Rubedo's wavelength was "perfected" by nothing more than fate. Rubedo could not change his leadership role, anymore than Dmitri could, and so both had to deal with an unchangeable truth.

"Do as you like, Rubedo," Dmitri unemotionally shrugged, before turning away and preparing his departure back to his office. Of course, Dmitri was not about to leave without giving his unruly son some 'food for thought.' "But you might want to reconsider the fact that without PATHOS the Red Dragon will forever be out of your control…"

"I don't give a damn about the Red Dragon!" blasted Rubedo, though still refusing to look up at his father. Balling his fists tightly, the redhead's body shook with anger as his laments spat out of him. "How the hell can you possibly ignore what just happened to us?! After what happened with Albedo…do you _honestly_ expect me to pass another one of your friggen tests with flying colors?!"

"Yes, I _do_ expect it of you and so does the Federation," countered Dmitri, his bluntness causing Rubedo to grind his teeth. "You are a bioweapon, Rubedo, built specifically for anti-U-DO combat and warfare. You are expected to handle your duties at optimum performance with no exceptions and no excuses. What do you honestly think the Descent Operation is going to be like, Rubedo? It will be _war_. If you can't handle a simple mishap with your dysfunctional brother, how in God's name do you expect to lead the Descent? And don't think for a moment you're going to be 'excused' from the duty, either. I don't care what disaster befalls between now and next month…you _will_ perform up to expectations."

"And what if I _don't_?" challenged Rubedo, daring to glare up at his father through a few gaps in his red bangs. Ordinarily, if a U.R.T.V. spoke to Dmitri in such a disrespectful manner the child would be severely punished, not that Rubedo was scared. Rubedo just saw his twin blood-soaked and partially dismembered. Did Dmitri really think his vain threats frightened Rubedo anymore? "What the hell will you do, _Dad_, if your wonderful leader suddenly decides _not_ to listen to you?"

Silent for a moment, Dmitri stared indifferently down at the arrogant redhead. In a way, Dmitri was pleased to see Rubedo was 'toughening up.' Yet, what the link master said was nothing worthy of praise. Rubedo had no idea how foolishly he was speaking. The whole reason PATHOS needed to work was so Rubedo could control the Red Dragon…for Dmitri's benefit. He needed Rubedo to follow his father's orders precisely so the necessary sacrifice could take place in one month on Miltia. The Red Dragon would be the clincher in the affair. Mixed with U-DO, the Red Dragon would be strong enough to destroy Miltia and any evidence leading to Dmitri's involvement. Alas, if Rubedo could not control the Red Dragon, Dmitri's plans may backfire and create more of a mess within Parliament. The Third Descent Operation was a very, very delicate procedure that needed to be followed by a precise formula. Otherwise, Dmitri's goal would become further out of his reach.

"For your sake, Rubedo," Yuriev warned sternly and deeply, narrowing his eyes at the young boy. "I suggest you do as your father asks. You speak as though you understand the situation but you do _not_, Rubedo. I'm not going to be 'holding your hand' through the Descent Operation, so whatever the hell you do that night will be entirely your choice," he reassured, before turning away and walking further down the corridor, Dmitri's voice echoing back, "But you better damn hope whatever choice you do make is the 'right' one, Rubedo."

Glaring at his father's back through the corner of his eye, Rubedo snarled angrily before Dmitri finally left the hallway entirely. Out of his father's sight, the leader slammed a fist against the bench, fuming as Rubedo took in Dmitri's words. The redhead hated to admit it, but Dmitri backed him into another corner. Rubedo did not understand anything anymore, and certainly did not qualify as one with the grounds to make his own decisions. He hated listening to Dmitri, but what else could Rubedo do? He did not understand the Red Dragon, he did not understand the Descent Operation…_nothing made any frikken sense anymore_! Plus the fact, it did not help that the boy was no longer thinking clearly, which would negate any rational decisions on Rubedo's behalf. Cursing himself, Rubedo silently accepted defeat and buried his throbbing head into his hands. "Dammit! _Dammit_!"

Sympathizing with Rubedo's hopelessness, Nigredo placed a comforting hand on his brother's nearest shoulder. He sincerely wanted to cheer Rubedo up, though the best idea the younger brother concocted was "If Albedo's stable we can probably see him now, Rubedo." Nigredo knew how the twins ticked, and they often perked at the mentioning of their other half.

As expected, Rubedo did perk at Nigredo's suggestion, rising from his hands and turning to face the black-haired boy. In a way, Rubedo was somewhat disappointed in Nigredo for not supporting the older Variant in Dmitri's presence. Yet, what difference would it have made? Dmitri never listened to his children. It was always the U.R.T.V.s who had to listen to their father, never the other way around. Nigredo was smart enough not to waste his breath anymore, something Rubedo had a harder time doing. The redhead was too stubborn and proud to easily admit defeat. Unfortunately, Rubedo also knew that no matter what, he could never win against his father.

_Maybe that's why…Nigredo is the way he is_, Rubedo realized, before softening his face for Nigredo's sake. _He said he wanted to break free, but…it's impossible to do so with someone like Dad hovering over the cage. It's like the dream said…we're all trapped…even…me._

"Nigredo…" Too tired to fight his fate anymore, Rubedo relented and defeatedly dipped his head. "I'm…I'm sorry about what I said earlier in the cafeteria," he apologized sincerely, ashamed to look Nigredo in the eye anymore. "I sure as hell can't throw stones, can I?"

Technically, Rubedo was right, but Nigredo was not about to humor the redhead's fatalism. Frankly, despite how naïve Rubedo spoke sometimes, Nigredo liked it, too. Rubedo's spunk helped brighten Nigredo's otherwise dark life and gave him something Dmitri always deprived: hope. Given the choice, Nigredo would love to think and act like his older brother.

Feeling a small appreciative smile pull his lips, the black-haired boy patted Rubedo's shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Rubedo," Nigredo reassured before getting up from his seat. After sitting there for a few hours following Albedo's incident, Nigredo was stiff and could not wait to stretch his limbs. Of course, before that could transpire, Nigredo extended a hand down to the distressed Rubedo. "Come' on," encouraged Nigredo. "Albedo's probably waiting for you."

Perking at the second reminder of his twin, Rubedo looked up at Nigredo. It was rare for the nonchalant baby Variant to be encouraging the typically spunky leader. The ironic scene was sheer proof of how dramatically Rubedo was changing, and those changes disturbed the redhead. Rubedo could not afford to lose sight of himself. He already lost Sakura, and Albedo was drifting. If Nigredo ever left, all Rubedo would have was himself…and if he lost _himself_…

…He grabbed Nigredo's hand a second later and headed into Albedo's room. Rubedo did not want to think such disturbing thoughts anymore. He could not take much more of it.

- - - - -

With Albedo's medical report now filed and out of the way, Dmitri lifted his gaze from his monitor, peering at the young lady standing before his office desk. Technically, Citrine was not scheduled to meet with Nigredo in Yuriev's office until after today's PATHOS test. Yet, the female Variant still had business to attend to in her father's office before PATHOS and the appointed afternoon meeting.

First of all, "I want to know why you went snooping into the males' ward this morning, Citrine," Dr. Yuriev started, leaning back into his chair to fold his arms over his chest. "While I appreciate you sparing me from reiterating today's schedule to Nigredo, you know I prefer the male and female units being segregated in their dorms." Such kept matters less complicated across the Yuriev Institute. Dmitri was not blind to how sexist little boys and little girls could behave. He knew Citrine's complex of the female types being superior to the males. As such, it would not take much for her to tick the males off and instigate some asinine 'battle of the sexes,' which was the last thing Dr. Yuriev needed in his institute. Plus, keeping boys and girls separated upon reaching older, pre-adolescent years was more modest and professional for the institute's image. "Besides, I thought you hated the males' ward."

"I do, sir," Citrine stated matter-of-factly, keeping her demeanor as blunt and unemotional as usual. "I only visited the males' ward to speak with Nigredo. Heavens knows he's getting second thoughts about our mission. I just wanted to drill some sense into him before today's PATHOS experiment, to encourage him to take his duty more seriously."

Dmitri had to admit that his daughter was right; Nigredo was getting very skeptical about his eventual execution of the Red Dragon. Thus, even Dmitri had suspicions that if appointed time came, Number 669 might abandon his duty. Nigredo got too close to Rubedo over the years, for reasons Dmitri originally meant for Rubedo's downfall, not Nigredo's. Having the Executioner become close friends with the Red Dragon was the perfect scheme to lower Rubedo's guard and make him easy prey for Nigredo. Plus, there was always Albedo to consider, too. Knowing that clingy twin, Albedo would not let anyone, never mind an _executioner_, near Rubedo unless Nigredo also won Albedo's trust. It was a complicated process Dmitri hoped would prove worthwhile.

Unfortunately, Dmitri was starting to notice his wonderful scheme was backfiring now. Yes, Nigredo succeeded in winning Rubedo and Albedo's trust. Unfortunately, he also got too close to the twins, so close that Nigredo actually cared about the boys and refused to kill Rubedo anymore. Nigredo could not kill his best friend, nor could he devastate the immortal twin via taking Albedo's precious Rubedo away. Those Variants' damn emotions grew too strong of a bond, and because of it, now Nigredo was afraid to fulfill his lifelong duty.

Dmitri's life never got easier, that was for sure. As if Dr. Yuriev did not have enough headaches regarding Rubedo and Albedo, now Nigredo was starting to get under his father's skin. The Descent Operation's sacrifice could not come quickly enough for Dmitri Yuriev.

And now, on top of the Variant boys' issues, now Citrine was behaving suspiciously. Running a hand through his pallid blonde hair, Dmitri silently exhaled before returning his attention to Number 668. "It's not your job to put Nigredo in his place, Citrine," Yuriev noted, though his voice was not as cross as it might be when addressing the incompetence of Citrine's brothers. Contrary to popular belief amongst the institute's subordinate scientists, and various U.R.T.V.s, Citrine was not Dmitri's "little princess." The only reason people thought such was because Citrine carried herself in such a pompous manner. Dmitri never encouraged such arrogance, nor did he spoil her or treat Citrine in such a way that would coerce her attitude. U.R.T.V. Number 668 might be the only female Variant, but Dmitri never treated her any better than the rest of his children. If Citrine acted like a little princess, it was entirely her doing, not her father's. Frankly, even Dmitri frowned upon her pomposity, because it often drove Citrine to do things Dmitri never authorized, such as this morning's trek to the males' ward.

Unfortunately, considering all of his other problems with the Variants, Dmitri could easily overlook Citrine. At the very least, she was the most impressive and obedient Designer Child, and held the most promise for her father's grand scheme. More importantly, Dmitri knew he could rely on Citrine to get a job done, something that sure could not be said about her Variant brothers at the moment. If Dmitri told Citrine to do something, she would do it without any tantrums, hesitations, and sniveling attached.

Still, Dmitri could not dismiss Citrine's overstepped boundary without some little reprimand. "I'm willing to overlook your narcissism provided you leave Nigredo's lectures to me from now on, Citrine," Yuriev dealt, locking his serious eyes with Citrine's almost identical, yet younger, orbs. "That also regards the rest of the U.R.T.V.s, too. The one to establish order in this institute is I, not you, Number 668, unless I authorize such. If you forget your place again you _will_ face consequences, Citrine."

"Understood," the blonde girl blankly obeyed, never the type to challenge her father's orders. Unlike Number 666 who practically made it a hobby to dispute everything Dmitri said, Citrine never hesitated to comply. She was stubborn, too, namely regarding her own arrogance regarding the females, but Citrine was not stupid enough to argue with Dr. Yuriev. She respected her creator and followed his law, because Citrine felt it was her reason for existing. Dmitri was her father, she was his daughter, and she had to obey…end of story. 668 was not a mindless machine; Citrine had enough sense to understand that she was a bioweapon created specifically for Yuriev's bidding. Such was the girl's reason for existing, that and fighting U-DO and obliterating the Red Dragon. Citrine never understood why her brothers liked to defy Dmitri, when they were defying their reasons for living. Citrine had no foolish desires to live like a 'normal' child, or even act human, regardless if she was born one. She was a U.R.T.V., Dmitri Yuriev'sU.R.T.V., thus Number 668 would do as Dmitri Yuriev ordered. Else, what rationale was there for Citrine's creation?

Pleased with Citrine's response, Dmitri set aside that easily-solved problem with his daughter. Understanding how Citrine's mind worked also helped in making their discussions quick, too, allowing Dmitri to focus on more pivotal matters like the approaching PATHOS. With the girl's problem settled, Dmitri then addressed one final topic before dismissing Citrine. "Out of curiosity, how did Nigredo react to your little talk this morning?" Dr. Yuriev inquired, folding his hands in an intrigued manner, looking prepared to be amused by Citrine's answer. Of course, Dmitri already had a gist of how Number 669 might have reacted to Citrine. Still, getting the facts was always better.

"He was not happy," Citrine replied with an indifferent grunt. "Plus, he started repeating self-righteous crap about wanting to spare Number 666. It's obvious Nigredo's gotten too close to the Red Dragon, and I get the impression he wants to back out of the mission, Doctor."

That did not surprise Dmitri in the least. "Yes, I've sensed it for quite a while, too," Dmitri agreed with his daughter. "That's why I need you, Citrine, in the event Nigredo fails. Under no circumstances can the Red Dragon go out of control. If it does, the results could be catastrophic."

"I'm well aware of that," nodded Citrine, before glancing away momentarily. "But...I also have a feeling that Nigredo may defend the Red Dragon if such an event occurs."

"If that happens, you know what you must do, Citrine."

"Of course, but…"

"'But'?" Dmitri blinked, cocking his head curiously by the strange word he heard slip through Citrine's lips. "That's not a common word out of _your_ mouth, Citrine," he slyly noted, causing the girl to look back at him with a particularly odd look in her blue eyes. Citrine was much better at controlling her emotions than her brothers, but… "Don't tell me you're getting second thoughts as well, Number 668."

"Of course not, but…" _Damn it_, Citrine cursed to herself, noticing how she let that little word "but" slip out again. It was not her personality, or her place, to second-guess her destiny. Technically, Citrine was not challenging her fate. She would indeed kill Rubedo someday without hesitation. If Citrine had to murder the Red Dragon everyday for the rest of eternity, she still would not mind. Citrine never became attached to Number 666, thus she had no sentimentalities attached to her duty, unlike Nigredo.

_Nigredo…_

…But Number 669 was a different story. As with Rubedo, Citrine never became exceptionally close to Nigredo. To Citrine, 669 was an associate. U.R.T.V.s 668 and 669 were 'bound' based on the common ground of their shared duty in executing the Red Dragon. Other than that, Nigredo and Citrine were two opposites, unrelated people that were practically worlds apart in personalities and mindsets. The two executioners both respected and resented each other in some way, leveling their 'relationship' as nothing more than professional and obligatory. Citrine knew Nigredo once wanted them to be friends, his pathetic little attempt at crafting himself and Citrine as another 'Rubedo and Albedo.' But after she cruelly shattered his dream, the executioner U.R.T.V.s remained at arms' length, only associating when needed. Frankly, Citrine liked that kind of distant relationship, which she considered far more appropriate than whatever the hell went on with the Variant twins.

But…no matter how distant Citrine and Nigredo remained, Number 668 still did not like the possibility of Nigredo interfering with the Red Dragon's murder. If Citrine had to kill Nigredo, she would do so without hesitation.

…And that lack of hesitation bothered her.

Over the twelve years of her life, Citrine had been desensitized to the possibility of killing Rubedo, much like a solider who became numb to the sight of enemy and ally carnage. Citrine would eventually carry Rubedo's blood on her hands, and even carry it with pride for completing her life's duty.

However, the possibility of also carrying Nigredo's blood…diminished her elation. If the youngest Variant interjected, Citrine would kill Nigredo, along with anyone else who dared get between her and the Red Dragon. She also did not give a damn if her baby brother was 'scarred for life' by seeing his sister kill Rubedo. What worried Citrine was if Nigredo attempted to interfere and 'save' Rubedo. Killing Nigredo was never originally part of the plan. Yet, Citrine could not help but wonder if Dmitri had given up on Number 669…and rescheduled Citrine to execute the Executioner. She was not an emotional girl by any means, and certainly 'tougher' than the boys.

Unfortunately, as much as Citrine hated to admit it, she and Nigredo did have somewhat of a connection, even if a thread no thicker than a strand of hair held that connection. Citrine had no problem with cutting that bond via murdering Nigredo, either.

But…Citrine was unsure if she could live for the rest of her life, knowing she killed Nigredo, her associate…her partner…her baby brother…

_Oh Christ, SNAP OUT OF IT! _Citrine blasted to herself, discreetly grinding her teeth behind her lips to prevent Dmitri's notice. If Nigredo was stupid enough to reject his duty and interject with Citrine's, that was his fault, not hers! _Frankly, it would serve Nigredo right if his foolishness got himself killed!_

"You seem preoccupied today, Citrine," Dmitri finally voiced, snapping the girl out of her confused train of thought. Yuriev did not even need the U.R.T.V.s' telepathic powers to know what his daughter was thinking. After all, Citrine possessed human emotions just like the other three Variants. The only difference between Citrine and the Variant boys was that she chose to ignore her feelings…most of the time. "I certainly hope you don't disappoint me, either, Number 668."

Realizing her demeanor was wavering, even by a fraction, Citrine refocused her attention back to the matter at hand regarding Dmitri. Unlike her father's implication, Citrine harbored no intentions of disappointing her creator. She even felt foolish for thinking such sentimental thoughts. It should not matter who she killed. As long as she was fulfilling Dmitri's wishes, such was all Citrine needed. Such was why she existed.

Taking in a deep silent breath and releasing it through her nose, Citrine rebuilt her composure and nodded obediently. "I _won't_, Dr. Yuriev."

- - - - -

"Rubedo! Nigredo!" Albedo gasped loudly as his brothers walked into the middle child's infirmary room. It had only been a few minutes since Dmitri left, and Albedo had not moved since. The white-haired boy was still in bed, though he had stopped crying shortly before the door whisked open again for the two new visitors. Seeing his brothers again easily provoked a smile and grateful tears to sting Albedo's previously dried eyes. "I'm so happy you're here."

Nigredo returned the smile, though typically less jubilantly than Albedo. Nonetheless, it was obvious even to Albedo that the baby Variant was happy to see him. The younger Variants did not get along 'perfectly,' but they still evidently cared about one another. "I'm glad to see you're okay," replied Nigredo with a nod whilst blocking out the disturbing thoughts of what drove Albedo into the infirmary in the first place.

Rubedo was thinking the identical thoughts. However, unlike Nigredo, the leader failed to recall the memories while keeping a smile on his face. Despite being happy that Albedo was fully cured, Rubedo could not bring himself to smile. Instead, his face was fixated in a resentful frown, one Albedo picked up instantly when the middle child finally took his eyes off Nigredo.

"Rubedo?" Albedo blinked, his smile fading and his face softening upon meeting his twin's displeased expression. There was an odd look on Rubedo's face: a cross between fury and sadness, each opposing emotion colliding and attempting to take dominance. It perplexed Albedo, especially since he figured Rubedo would be happier than Nigredo as usual. "What's wro-?"

"Is it that hard to figure out, Albedo?!" Rubedo suddenly blurted out, causing both of his siblings to jump at the unexpected pitch in his voice. They knew Rubedo had a temper and when he let it loose Albedo and Nigredo knew nothing stopped it. Not even giving his brothers a chance to react, Rubedo's fists tightened again as another surge of rage filled him. Only this time, Rubedo was not angry with Dmitri.

"…What?" Albedo muttered to himself, exchanging a confused look with an equally baffled Nigredo before staring back at Rubedo. "…What're you talking about?"

"'_What am I talking about'_?! I'll tell you what the hell I'm talking about!" Rubedo continued to rant, nearly slamming his fist against a nearby monitor. As if his rage was multiplying by each second, the red-haired boy felt his blood boil after hearing his twin's ignorant questions. "I'm talking about what you did to yourself! I told you to NEVER pull anything like that again and you _still_ did it you asshole!" shouted Rubedo, nearly taking another swing at his twin as he did during the time Rubedo was clearly recalling.

"_You IDIOT!! Don't you ever pull anything like that again! If you die…you can't come back to life!"_

Nigredo so nearly ran to Rubedo in order to restrain the enraged boy again. Yet, Nigredo's feet were unable to move, as if they were fused to the tiled floor. Then again, perhaps Nigredo did not want to hold Rubedo back this time. Perhaps the young boy wanted Rubedo to beat some sense into Albedo. Although Nigredo was happy that Albedo was safe, Nigredo was also displeased with what Albedo did to himself.

Back when Albedo pulled a gun on himself, both Rubedo and Nigredo were horrified. Of course, it did not help that at the time neither knew Albedo could regenerate. Nigredo had heard Dmitri mutter something about one, and only one, U.R.T.V. who could accelerate cell growth, but Nigredo never realized it was Albedo until that day. Until the realization came, when Albedo shot himself in the head, Nigredo and Rubedo truly thought their middle brother casually committed suicide. Thoughts about the mysterious "regenerating U.R.T.V." never even crossed Nigredo's mind when he saw his older brother's head blown off. All Nigredo could think of at that moment was how Albedo just died right before his young eyes.

However, for Rubedo, the scene was even more devastating, and it was no wonder why he still had nightmares about it. Albedo just pulled out the pistol as casually as one holding a toy, and just as casually brought it to his head and pulled the trigger. Rubedo did not even have time to think when it happened. The scene happened so fast and his twin's body was headless before Rubedo could even blink! It was Rubedo's greatest nightmare come true to see his twin brother die, and knowing Albedo foolhardily did it to himself only made the situation worse. It felt as though Albedo willingly left Rubedo for no damn reason! But of course, the middle child's regenerative powers eventually kicked in, restored Albedo, and Rubedo had his twin again. In any other situation, having Albedo return to him after such a frightening near-death experience would have made Rubedo so happy. The redhead probably would have grabbed onto his twin and held Albedo so tightly, endlessly thanking God for returning his precious brother to him.

But instead, Rubedo came to his senses that afternoon, realized the incredibly asinine stunt Albedo pulled, and instinctively rewarded his twin with a right hook across his face. How dare Albedo fool around with his brothers' emotions like that? Rubedo did not care if Albedo was attempting to illustrate his regenerative powers or not! Albedo scared the shit out of Rubedo and Nigredo that day, and did it all with a foolhardy smile on his lips, as if blowing his head off was no big deal!

And today was no different. Just like before, Albedo foolishly mutilated himself, showing no regard for his own existence…or for the feelings of his brothers. Did Albedo fail to understand how important he was to Rubedo and Nigredo? Did he honestly think they could care less if he died? Even in retrospect, Rubedo was perplexed at how stunned Albedo looked when Rubedo hit him that afternoon following the gun incident. Perhaps Albedo's shock was caused by the realization of his immortality, but even before Nigredo confirmed the truth Albedo was still surprised by Rubedo's reaction. How the hell did Albedo expect Rubedo to react; _happy_?! Dear God, Rubedo did not even want to consider how he might have reacted if Albedo did not regenerate. Several of Rubedo's nightmares induced by that afternoon often warped the scene and ensured Albedo never regenerated, and each dream made Rubedo wake up screaming.

Screaming…very much like he did when he found Albedo in the bloody shower.

"Do you enjoy doing this to me, Albedo?! Is that it?!" blasted Rubedo, slamming a foot against the floor so soundly it made Albedo cringe submissively. "Do you think I 'enjoy' seeing my brother butcher himself?! Do you think I'm not gonna' give a shit if you…die?!" The last word came out more timidly. Despite the fact that Albedo could never die, Rubedo could not shake the feelings those two mutilation scenes induced. The first time with the gun, Rubedo thought Albedo really did die. However, even the second, most recent time, Rubedo briefly contemplated the possibility that his twin was dead. No matter how much evidence negated the possibility of Albedo dying, Rubedo was not as brave as Albedo to fool around with life and death.

Truthfully, Rubedo did not believe in immortality. Even in books about mythology and folklore gods possessed weaknesses, so what made Albedo any different? U.R.T.V.s were technically born human, thus Albedo was human in one sense, and all humans were mortal. Mortality was what made them human. Therefore, Rubedo was not 100% confident that his twin was indisputably immortal. Thus, the last thing Rubedo needed was for Albedo to find some loophole in his immortality that would ensure the death Rubedo knew his twin desired.

Blinking long and hard, Albedo swallowed before attempting to speak to his distressed other half. Never did he dream that Rubedo would have taken his bleeding so hard, especially since Albedo did it all for his twin. "Rubedo…I'm sor-"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry when you're obviously _not_, Albedo!" Rubedo cut him off again, causing Albedo to cough back an oncoming sob. "If you were so damn sorry you wouldn't keep doing this to yourself…or _me_!" the redhead added, pointing a sharp finger at himself. But just as quickly as the finger pointed, it started to shake, along with the rest of Rubedo. His anger was beginning to morph into sadness as the feuding emotions warred inside him. A part of Rubedo was furious enough to curse up a storm and start taking a few swings at his twin.

Yet, the other part of Rubedo was happy and sad: happy that his twin was safe, but sad over Albedo's carefree attitude regarding death. What if the unthinkable happened? What if, by some twist of fate, Albedo managed to find that loophole in his immortality and die? What would become of Rubedo? Was Albedo so obsessed with death that he did not care what would happen to his twin? Did Albedo value death over Rubedo? Did Albedo _want_ to leave Rubedo?!

When the image of his younger twin started to ripple behind welling tears, Rubedo bit his lip and tore his eyes away from Albedo. All of a sudden, Rubedo did not want to be in the room anymore, afraid that anything his brothers said might induce either more screams or more tears, and neither would help Rubedo. Taking a deep breath to inhale the emotions, Rubedo then turned away from his siblings and headed for the door. He needed to be alone right now.

Alas, Rubedo never reached the door before his other half called out to him. "Rubedo!" Albedo cried, stumbling out of his bed and rushing over to the redhead. Any other normal patient who leapt out of bed after recovering from Albedo's incident would have instantly fainted or fallen. Of course, being a regenerative U.R.T.V., Albedo was fully restored and had no problem running after his furious twin. He wanted to apologize and explain himself to Rubedo. Fortunately, Rubedo stopped at the door, though the older brother remained still and did not turn to face Albedo. Between the rejection and Rubedo's hurtful words, the white-haired Variant soundly sniffled and coughed back a few sobs as a fresh batch of tears skimmed down his face.

But the sounds only lit another fuse in Rubedo, setting him off and spinning him around to glare viciously at his frightened little brother. "Don't you DARE start blubbering at a time like this!" Rubedo roared, his eyes narrowed furiously and intimidated more tears down Albedo's pink cheeks. "You have no fuckin' right to be c-crying right n-now, Albedo!" the redhead choked, nearly screaming more before Rubedo felt his own tears become unbearable. Not wanting to shed them, especially in front of his siblings, the leader instantly spun back around and bolted out the door, running to nowhere. The redhead just ran for as long as he could, not caring where he went or who saw him. Rubedo knew there was no place he could escape to anymore. After all, he could not sneak into Sakura's subconscious domain anymore.

_Sakura…_

When his legs finally gave out, Rubedo found himself in an unknown corridor; empty, unlit, and unused. He did not know where he was, nor did he care. He was alone, and though he hated being alone, such was all Rubedo wanted at the moment.

And even still…he could not bring himself to cry. Rubedo had to be strong. The next PATHOS test was in less than an hour, and he _was_, after all, the leader.

…A very, very lost leader…who had reached his limits.

- - - - -

**TO BE CONTINUED**

- - - - -

* * *

**A/N**: First off, syncope due to hypoxia is a legitimate fainting spell, usually caused when the brain doesn't get enough oxygen. There are several stimuli that can trigger syncope, and one is due to blood not circulating oxygen. Considering how Albedo dismembered himself in the last chapter, obviously blood would temporarily not circulate properly. Bear in mind that this story takes place in the infancy of both Rubedo and Albedo's understanding/maturing of their powers. Plus, even 14 years later it's shown that Albedo's regeneration isn't instantaneous, and takes a moment to kick in. Thus, it's plausible that a young Albedo could suffer syncope if he mutilated himself to such deadly levels like in the last chapter, especially while trying to "beat the clock" and not give his body enough time to regenerate. Technically, we've only seen Albedo dismember one or two parts of himself at a time in the canon, whereas the last chapter implied Albedo dismembered far more than just an arm or a head. (Oh, and yes, I know I'm overanalyzing things again. I realize we Xeno fans can't get take everything to heart regarding Albedo's powers, considering there's no logical explanation for how the hell his body can still stand after decapitation. Nevertheless, I try to add some bit of realism whenever possible.)

As you can see, Citrine's character is starting to change, too, caught between her duties and her feelings. I know Citrine's not an emotional girl but she does possess emotions like the other Variants. Her little connection to Nigredo will be further explored in the following chapters. I just hope she's not coming across as OOC. If you're wondering where the hell I'm getting this "Citrine and Nigredo have a soft spot for each other" fetish, it will be better explained in the next chapter. Thus, you may want to hold off your flames until this story comes full circle.

Lastly, I certainly hope readers found Rubedo's anger justifiable. I know if I had a brother who pulled Albedo's mutilation stunts, I would not be happy (regardless if he could/couldn't regenerate). The Episode II segment where Albedo shoots himself really pulled my heartstrings regarding all three Variant boys. I felt bad for Albedo, considering his revelation. However, my heart also went out to poor Rubedo and Nigredo, two boys who had to watch their dear brother blow his head off (and it's pretty obvious neither were aware of Albedo's powers at the time, too). Dear lord, that's enough to traumatize two kids! I'm sure U.R.T.V.s witness all sorts of hellish sights in battle, but seeing a loved one die (never mind shoot himself) is always more painful. Of course, after finding out that Albedo not only survived, but was just screwing around with his powers, probably felt like a crude joke, too. I couldn't blame Rubedo for punching Albedo, since I most likely would have done the same.

So now, after this, only two chapters remain for "PATHOS," and based on this story's summary, I'm sure you can guess what's coming up next time. Hehe, Chapter IX will be fun. Anyway, feel free to review until then.


	9. The PATHOS Incident

**COPYRIGHT NOTE**: I don't own _Xenosaga_

**COMMENTS**: Long, groundbreaking chapter ahead…you have been warned. Yet, what would you expect from a chapter dubbed "The PATHOS Incident," conveniently mentioned in this story's summary (*hint hint*)? Yes, the highly anticipated "PATHOS Incident" is FINALLY here, and hopefully worth the wait.

* **Content Disclaimer**: This chapter contains bloody violence. Reader discretion is advised.

**

* * *

**

PATHOS: Chapter IX

_Aiselne Nocturnus_

Twelve-hundred hours…noontime…

"Opening Variant U.R.T.V. interconnection to the Encephalon, dive commencing with Unit 666…"

It was the second PATHOS experiment, barely twenty-four hours after the first. Traditionally, the first experiment of any series of tests was a trial run in order to accustom the participants with standard procedure. Now that the U.R.T.V.s were familiarized with PATHOS, less time needed to be spent on obnoxious explanations and questions. Unlike yesterday, the dive into the PATHOS Encephalon went more smoothly the second time around, which was what Dmitri wanted. With the Descent Operation nearby he did not want to waste any more time on unnecessary hindrances. Fortunately, today's PATHOS experiment went 'so far so good,' at least regarding the initial dive.

Of course, there was a reason why Rubedo had no trouble with today's interconnection. Naturally, his 'reason' was not to appease his father. By the time twelve-hundred hours arrived, the redhead set his mind on the goal of getting his second PATHOS experiment done as quickly and easily as possible. There were no surprises the second time around; he knew about the painful connection jack, he knew he would be rendezvousing with the 330-Units, and he knew what was expected of him. There was no point in arguing or whining about it anymore. For the first time, Rubedo just did what he was told. He was tired of fighting a losing battle.

He was tired of everything.

_- - - - -_

"**The PATHOS Incident"**

- - - - -

There was something oddly welcoming about the dark nothingness that engulfed the PATHOS Encephalon. Yesterday, the solemn darkness frightened Rubedo, but today he found it strangely relaxing. PATHOS' little 'world' was nothing to look at, but it was free of the countless distractions and anxieties of the 'real' world. There was nothing here; no land, no sea, no sky…it was a black void in the U.M.N. where nothing could live. Solitude and desolation were as far as the eye could see, going on forever and ever. Was this oblivion?

Rubedo did not care anymore. Oblivion or not, the world of PATHOS was as disturbing as it was relaxing. Nothing was here, meaning there was nothing for Rubedo to worry about in this place. He did not have to carry the baggage of the real world in here; he could leave it behind in this intoxicating nothingness. It did not matter if he was a leader or a follower, or if he was a bioweapon or a normal human boy. In a world of nothingness, nothing mattered anymore.

And at this point, nothing mattered to Rubedo anymore, either.

_(You're a terrible liar, Rubedo.)_

Blinking at the sudden voice, Rubedo perked as his head shot upward. _That…voice_… the redhead gasped softly, instantly recognizing it from yesterday's PATHOS experiment. Just as before, the voice did not sound benevolent, which easily caused the U.R.T.V. to minutely shudder at the voice that seemingly came from nowhere. "Who…what are you?" the boy asked, keeping his voice in check to make sure it never faltered.

The voice was still as ambiguous as before, which continuously disturbed Rubedo. _(It depends on what you define as 'who' or 'what.' I'm sure you can already guess that I'm not a being of flesh and bone like you. I exist in both the real and imaginary number domains, though I can only 'communicate' to you via the subconscious._

_(But to answer your question…I am you…the part of you that's slowly awakening.)_

Rubedo did not need another moment to realize what this voice was referencing. '_I am you,_' though the voice certainly did not sound like Rubedo's. It did not sound like anything, but how was that possible? The only answer Rubedo could think of was, "You're…the Red Dragon?" he asked rather timidly, doing his best to keep his fears under control in spite of a welling anxiety.

_(You speak as though you and the Red Dragon are two separate parts. I already told you; I am YOU, and if you classify me as the 'Red Dragon,' that means the Red Dragon is YOU. 'Rubedo' and 'Red Dragon' are symbiotic and synonymic. Therefore, if you think you stand any chance in 'constricting' me, know that you're also going to be constricting yourself. If you lock the Red Dragon in a cage you will lock yourself in a cage, too, Rubedo. Aren't you the one who's always attempting to break free from your 'cage' and live a 'normal' life?)_

So that was Rubedo's inevitable fate; to forever be encaged. It was as Nigredo said; all of the U.R.T.V.s were trapped, even Rubedo. Even if Rubedo somehow left Dmitri and his institute, Rubedo would always have the Red Dragon…_himself_…to contend. Perhaps escaping the confines of the Yuriev Institute would not be in Rubedo's best interest after all, considering the Red Dragon. If Rubedo could not control his power, he might cause worse troubles outside the restrictions of the institute. The Yuriev Institute was a cage, but it was a controlled environment, too, and probably the only safe haven Rubedo had in regards to his malevolent power. At least here, there were sources that could help Rubedo in mastering the Red Dragon. In the outside world…he was on his own…and Rubedo did not know what to do.

He was so lost.

_(Why do you fight so hard, Rubedo, especially when you know you'll lose? All you keep doing is contradicting everything and winding up more hurt than before. It would be much easier if you just dropped the façade once and for all.)_

Perhaps, but "I fight because…people need me," replied Rubedo, though his response lacked his typical enthusiasm.

_(Eventually they'll all die, and eventually YOU'LL die and be unable to help any who are left. You can't save everyone, Rubedo. You can't even save the people that matter most to you: Sakura…Albedo…)_

"They wouldn't want me to give up."

_(They wouldn't want you to SUFFER, either. Yet, by fighting you suffer.)_

"Then I'll stop fighting. I…I don't want to be a weapon anymore, anyway."

_(Oh, Rubedo, I'm not talking about ACTUAL fighting. The biggest war YOU are fighting right now isn't with U-DO or U-TIC…it's with yourself. Your complex of being everyone's source of strength has rewarded you with an inordinate amount of pain via fighting a battle with your emotions.)_

"I'm not like this…because I 'want' to be. I'd love nothing better than to be like Albedo and just let it all out sometimes, but Dad…"

_(You and I both know this isn't your father's entire fault. It's YOU who's afraid of being rejected if people realized how weak you REALLY are. You've built yourself up as their leader and now you're afraid to climb back down the ladder, afraid of being dubbed a coward._

_(And for what purpose, Rubedo? Do you really think your 'strength' has helped your loved ones? No matter how 'strong' you act the standards still despise you, as does your father. You KNOW you'll never impress them and yet you still fight to win their approval._

_(Your 'strength' didn't save Sakura, either, DID it? She took her own life…she LEFT you. Albedo, too, seems rather eager to die and leave you behind, doesn't he Rubedo? And what about Nigredo…?)_

"…That's enough," interrupted Rubedo, though his tone lacked any authority whatsoever. The more the voice spoke, the more Rubedo wanted to just give up. Yet, he knew he had to be strong, though the words the voice spoke were so seductive, and _true_. Rubedo was indeed fighting a losing battle, one that seemed to get harder and harder with each passing second. Why did he fight when he knew he would lose? Why did he fight when he knew that, even if he won, there would be nobody left to celebrate with him? His 'strength' did not save Sakura, and it was not saving Albedo, either. Everyone was drifting away and leaving Rubedo behind with nothing more than his twisted powers.

At least there was one consolation; Rubedo always had the Red Dragon. Somehow, though, knowing he was symbiotic with that tenebrous beast did not comfort Rubedo at all. He did not want to be in the company of a monster, and more importantly…

…_I don't want to be a monster._

_(But you ARE a monster, Rubedo, and there's no reason to be ashamed. 'You are what you are,' after all. Instead of denying your existence, why not embrace it? There's really no other choice for you to make. At least by accepting your destiny you accept who and what you truly are. Stop fooling yourself that you're a 'wonderful boy' like Sakura clouded you and instead accept the truth. You'll be removing some weight off your shoulders if you do, Rubedo.)_

"_You're not a weapon. You're a wonderful boy."_

Ever since Sakura told him that, Rubedo always thought 'normalcy' was within his grasp. Hearing Sakura consider him a normal human being helped Rubedo realize that he was not entirely a weapon like Dmitri claimed. Knowing she considered him a normal boy filled Rubedo with unparalleled joy and happiness, since it was the first time in his life he was not dubbed a weapon or monster. It was the first time somebody considered him a 'boy' instead of a 'thing.' Thus, knowing how wonderful it felt to be treated like a 'real' person, Rubedo had no qualms about promising to treat Sakura's little sister Realian like a 'real' girl. He knew from experience how being considered 'real' made all the difference in the world. There was nothing worse than possessing free will while still being looked upon as a 'thing.'

_Sakura_… Rubedo thought, closing his azure eyes rather shamefully. _You never considered me anything less than human, and I never told you how much I appreciated it_.It was one of the countless things Rubedo was deprived of telling his beloved before she died.

_But_… he paused, opening his saddened blue eyes whilst biting his lip. _Even though I felt so very happy when you told me I wasn't a weapon…deep down inside…I couldn't bring myself to believe you. You were never there before, Sakura, so you never knew some of the things we U.R.T.V.s had to do. I told you we only left the institute during war, and I wasn't lying, either. And…those wars we witnessed were…horrible. They only happened a few times but…you didn't know what we had to do. We were weapons…and weapons…kill._

_You didn't know how horrible it felt to take someone's life, Sakura. 'Wonderful boys' don't kill innocents…'WEAPONS' do._

_I wanted to believe you, too. I wanted to believe I was normal, but…I'm not_. Blinking sadly and slowly, the redhead lowered his head and lifted his right palm, staring idly at his 666 serial number. _I really wanted to believe you, Sakura, but…I can't anymore. I'm exhausted and I don't want to fight who I am anymore. I'm a weapon. I don't want to be one…but I am._

_I'm sorry, Sakura._

_- - - - -_

"Dr. Yuriev…" the female scientist monitoring the Variants suddenly voiced, typing at her terminal and watching the three boys' stats via her monitor. Hearing the doctor walk over to her station, the woman glanced at Dmitri through the corner of one eye whilst keeping track of the monitor with her other. "…Number 666's wave pattern is showing…'odd' fluctuations."

Glancing at the monitor, himself, Dmitri saw the woman's definition of 'odd' illustrated by Rubedo's displayed pattern shifting from various highs and lows. Ordinarily, the Variant was notorious for his wavelength climbing due to his temper and emotions. Yet today, the link master's wave pattern was going up and down like a bouncing rubber ball. Such was something even Dmitri never saw before.

"What's the status on the force-eject code?" Yuriev asked, coercing the woman to check the implant's condition via another smaller monitor. "Is it still intact?"

"It is, sir," the scientist nodded, sounding rather relieved, herself. "It still has ninety-seven minutes left before it fully dissolves. All readings confirm the code hasn't been corrupted and is fully operational."

"Good," Dmitri unemotionally finished, before turning his attention back to Rubedo's odd wave pattern. At least, if worse came to worse, Rubedo could be ejected from the Encephalon if Dmitri willed it, so the experiment was still running smoothly. However, the strange fluctuation in the boy's mental pattern still irked Dmitri. How was it possible that the boy was experiencing such dramatic accelerations and decelerations? God only knew what the hell that boy was riddling his mind with again.

Not taking chances, Dmitri casually exited the monitor room for a moment, instantly being greeted by a familiar little blonde patiently waiting by a vacant Variant dive pod. Dmitri did not even have to speak for Citrine to know what he expected of her. Without words, the female Variant climbed into the last dive pod and got herself ready.

"You know what you have to do," murmured Dmitri, keeping his voice low so that only Citrine could hear. Standing by her capsule, the man then glanced at the other occupied Variant pods, currently housing the unconscious males. His eyes seemed to stop specifically on Nigredo. "Make sure Nigredo doesn't interfere, either. Keep your distance from them until the need arises. If all goes well you won't have to do anything, Citrine."

Nodding in confirmation, the blonde girl then relaxed in order to begin her interconnection as Dmitri headed back to the side room. Citrine, too, hoped she would not have to do anything. She did not particularly 'care' about the Red Dragon's wellbeing, but her thoughts were keenly on Nigredo. If she had to, Citrine would kill Rubedo without hesitation. Such was the very reason she existed.

But…if Number 669 interjected with the Red Dragon's murder, did Citrine also exist…to kill Nigredo? Was that another string attached to her destiny? Nigredo was born to kill Rubedo, and Citrine was born in the event Nigredo screwed up? It did not make much sense, considering she was created before Number 669, but it was quite obvious that the fates of the U.R.T.V.s were predetermined long before their conception. It did not matter in what order the children were born. In the end, they were all doomed.

But…did that mean Nigredo's doom was predestined to be Citrine's handiwork?

The confused female Variant did not know the answers. The bottom line was Citrine still swore that if Nigredo interfered that she would kill him. No matter what, Citrine would uphold her resolve, no matter how much, or whose, blood she shed.

But…still, even Citrine got second thoughts…once in a while.

_- - - - -_

"Welcome back, Number 666," the unenthusiastic voice of U.R.T.V. Unit 330 blankly greeted, approaching the red-haired leader just as last time. "Numbers 331 through 339 are currently in position and awaiting your arrival. Please follow me so we may get started."

_(He's so 'polite,' isn't he?)_, the voice sarcastically spoke, apparently a voice only Rubedo could hear, since 330 never showed any sign of noticing. Absentmindedly, Rubedo followed Number 330 like a zombie, lethargically shuffling his feet through the unseen ground. The red-haired leader kept his gaze low, though high enough to watch where the standard U.R.T.V. walked. Based on Rubedo's unenthusiastic actions it was almost impossible to guess that he was the leader.

But did that matter anymore?

_(Why do you follow, Rubedo? You know the 330-Units can't wait to make fun of you. I'll bet 330 is thinking up some snide comments right now to shoot at you later.)_

_I don't care anymore_, Rubedo unemotionally replied, his voice sounding more 'dead' than the standard brother. The redhead boy was so downcast that he failed to see what difference it would make whether or not he 'stood up' to the standards anymore. The emotionless bastards would just continue to mock him, anyway.

_(If you don't care…then why do you defend them when your brother picks fights?)_

_I used to care how they thought of me…but…not anymore. It's not worth it._

_(So you don't care if they consider you a monster?)_

_I AM a monster._

_(Yes…that's right. I'm glad you've accepted it.)_

_I don't WANT to be one, though._

_(Of course you don't, but like it or not, you're STILL a monster.)_

_I…hate being a monster._

_(Do you hate 'being' a monster…or being 'called' a monster?)_

_Is there a difference?_

_(Yes, there is. You can live with yourself, knowing you're a monster, as long as it's your little secret. It's when others know the truth and ridicule you about it when you start hurting. You'd rather burry the secret than let others know about it. You're too afraid of them rejecting you and leaving you.)_

_I don't…want to be alone…_

_(But you don't want to be MOCKED, either, and that's the most ironic part. Everything's 'fine' as long as you have companionship that RESPECTS you, Rubedo. As long as people get along everything's swell, but it's when conflicts arise when humans don't WANT to be around people. Nobody likes to be around others who make them feel bad. Your father, the standards…you much rather be left 'alone' whenever they torment you, because they make you feel badly about yourself._

_(Humans inherently seek companionship for their own stability and comfort, and when the companionship makes humans feel secure they dub the people 'allies.' However, when companionship takes AWAY that comfort, humans seek to eliminate the negative companionship and dub such their 'enemies.' They then do everything in their power to rid themselves of the 'enemies' so they can return to the comfort in their 'allies.'_

_(Why don't you do the same, Rubedo? It's only human to want to eliminate your enemies and preserve your allies. You're running out of friends, after all, while your list of enemies grows longer and longer. Why not 'shorten' that list…just by a little?) _

_Shortening that list won't necessarily give me more allies._

_(But doing so will make you feel better. Look at him…look at Number 330. He and his brothers find your torment amusing. They laugh when you cry, the sick little sadists. You hate it when they mock you, don't you, Rubedo?)_

_…Yes…but…_

_(They all think you're a 'monster.' You didn't like being called a monster, did you Rubedo?)_

_…No…but I-_

_(You always appreciated Albedo's defense when he countered the standards' insults. However, the REAL reason you never liked to 'get involved' with your twin's arguments was because you didn't feel comfortable having Albedo stand up for you. Such always embarrassed you and made you feel insecure, didn't it, Rubedo?)_

_Y-yes…_

_(You wanted to be the one to ward off the standards' insults, didn't you?)_

_Yes…_

_(YOU wanted to beat up Number 623, DIDN'T you?)_

_Maybe not 623…_

_(…But you definitely wanted to beat up 330 yesterday. The real reason you didn't let Albedo tear him apart was because YOU wanted to tear him apart, DIDN'T you, Rubedo?)_

…_Yes._

_(What's stopping you, Rubedo? Nobody else is here…nobody will mock you. It's just you and 330…that cocky little bastard who needs to be put in his place. Don't you agree, Rubedo?)_

_Yes._

"Is everything all right, Number 666?" Unit 330 suddenly asked, turning around upon noticing the link master was no longer following. Granted, Number 330 was not exactly 'concerned' about Rubedo, but the standard still had a job to fulfill and needed 666's cooperation. "I'm afraid that due to your dissolvent implant we do not have a considerable amount of time to waste."

_(You heard the man, Rubedo…stop wasting time.)_

For the first time, Number 666's blue eyes glanced upward to face the standard leader. The U.R.T.V.s pairs of blue eyes locked onto each other's, both lacking a significant degree of emotion. Only this time, 330's blank blue eyes blinked with the slightest emotion upon seeing the dark nothingness deep within 666's glaring sapphires.

_(Stop wasting time, Rubedo.)_

_Yes._

_- - - - -_

"I hate this God-forsaken place!" whined Albedo as he and Nigredo trekked through the dark abyss of the PATHOS Encephalon. They had entered the 'world' about five minutes ago, a rough estimation in this timeless solitude. During that time, the younger Variants searched everywhere for Rubedo and the 330-Units, but to no avail. Nigredo and Albedo assumed the standards were disconnected from the mental link like yesterday, though the Variant boys could not understand why they failed to trace Rubedo. Perhaps Rubedo already found the other standards, disconnected, and was already practicing wave constriction. It was possible, though the younger Variants did not understand why Rubedo failed to wait for them this time. It was not like Rubedo to run off without his brothers, especially Albedo, at least during field tests. U.R.T.V.s were trained to stay together under all circumstances.

"Where are you, Rubedo?" Albedo muttered to himself, biting his lip and constantly checking the mental link for his twin. When he failed to trace Rubedo, Albedo resorted to the twin's personal link via their shared heart. Unlike the mental link, Albedo managed to sense Rubedo via his heart, though even Albedo was surprised at how painfully his heart was throbbing at the moment. He felt as though somebody was squeezing it, and each squeeze hurt more than the last. Ordinarily, such pain would be his own, but Albedo could still feel Rubedo's pain, too, and this 'squeezing' sensation was definitely coming from Rubedo's half. Placing a hand over his heart, Albedo winced upon feeling another squeeze. Something was wrong…he knew it. The question remained; 'what' was wrong? "Rubedo…"

Nigredo was just as worried, and he did not have any access to Rubedo at the moment, via the link or a heart. Nigredo's gut instinct was telling him that something serious was approaching at an alarming rate. The sensation disturbed the youngest Variant to his core, especially since he had a nagging fear of the Red Dragon rearing its ugly head. For some reason, Dmitri never sent his Executioner into PATHOS with a weapon, not even a pistol. Therefore, if something happened with the Red Dragon and Nigredo was expected to fulfill his duty as Executioner…how the hell was he expected to kill Rubedo? With his bare hands?! Technically, all U.R.T.V.s, especially the Variants, were built for all angles of combat and could efficiently fight with a weapon or with their hands. Albedo's episode with Unit 623 was just a small example of how powerful a U.R.T.V. could be without a weapon in his hands: strong enough to beat one of his own into a coma. However, since Dmitri was attempting to sell 'weapons,' not 'barbarians,' to the Federation, it was more common for a U.R.T.V. to fight with some type of gun.

The situation was getting darker and more unsettling by the second. Glancing at Albedo, it was obvious to Nigredo that the twin was able to sense Rubedo. Nigredo knew all about the twins' special 'connection,' and could only hope that Albedo could detect Rubedo. "Can you…tell where he is, Albedo?" Nigredo asked, praying his older brother would give a satisfying answer.

Clutching his hand closer to his throbbing heart, Albedo nodded quickly amidst the pain. "But something's wrong, Nigredo. I don't…normally feel Rubedo's pain this intensely. It hurts, but at the same time it…" He could not fully describe it, solely because something like this never happened before. He was indeed experiencing pain, but at the same time it was…more than pain. The best Albedo could define Rubedo's torment was "…Something's wrong."

Not wanting to waste anymore time, Nigredo nodded once before grabbing his frightened brother's arm. "We have to find Rubedo _now_, Albedo." Of course, Nigredo conveniently omitted his suspicions of the Red Dragon, since the young Variant did not want to worry Albedo anymore than needed. For all the boys knew, Rubedo might have already been practicing with the 330-Units and just never bothered waiting for Albedo and Nigredo to catch up. However, would something so innocent provoke the pain Albedo was currently experiencing?

There was no doubt in Nigredo's mind; something was definitely wrong. "Can you at least estimate the direction Rubedo's in, Albedo?" Nigredo prayed, imploring with his older brother to do his best to find the leader. The twins' shared heart was not a tracking device, but if anyone could estimate where Rubedo was at the moment…it was Albedo. The twins' 'connection' was Nigredo's only hope of finding Rubedo now. "Please try, Albedo."

It was not common to see Nigredo acting so skittish, which easily multiplied Albedo's fears. Nigredo was usually the nonchalant and serious type, so seeing him start to lose his nerve easily provoked Albedo to do the same. However, it was obvious that Nigredo needed Albedo to muster his courage; Nigredo needed him…Rubedo needed him! Swallowing his fears, Albedo nodded compliantly, before tuning himself to his half-heart. It was not easy to sense where Rubedo was located, but it was not impossible, either. Albedo could do it for Rubedo.

"South…straight ahead," muttered Albedo, the best estimate he could make. The lead was better than nothing, and without wasting another second the boys broke into a sprint and ran forward as fast as their short legs allowed. No doubt in their minds, they were competing in a race against time.

So concerned with finding their leader, Nigredo and Albedo never noticed the person behind them, standing idle while the boys ran out into the darkness. Unlike the unequipped boys, Citrine held a handgun in her right hand, feeling the sleek gunmetal against her serial number. She did not have to check to know the gun was fully loaded, carrying fifteen rounds of ammunition.

Hopefully, she would not have to use one bullet.

_- - - - -_

"D-Doctor…I really think you should see this," the female scientist monitoring the Variants suddenly voiced across the room, her typing fingers trembling as she was unable to tear her eyes away from her screen.

"What is it now?" Dmitri asked, walking over to her terminal with a displeased look on his face. However, his expression instantly shifted upon reading the output levels of the Variants, specifically Number 666. Rubedo's mental pattern was still bouncing up and down, but this time…faster…more dramatically…so quickly the computers barely kept up. "What in hell?" he muttered, before glancing at the monitor displaying the condition of Rubedo's encryption code, having only eighty minutes left, but still functional. Yuriev was actually starting to consider pulling the redhead out of PATHOS before anything happened. He, too, was not ignorant to the Red Dragon.

"Shall we eject Number 666 and try again later, sir?" the woman asked, almost sounding as though she hoped Dmitri would say 'yes.' So expectant, one of her hands instantly hovered over the ejection button, ready to rescue the link master.

Much to the woman's surprise and disbelief, Dmitri shook his head. "No. Continue with the experiment," he ordered, disregarding the baffled look on the scientist's face. "Collect as much data as you can on whatever's happening to 666. If his condition gets critical we'll eject him, but only do so on my call," he added, while the woman scientist reluctantly pulled her hand away from the ejection button and did as told.

For Dmitri, he had a feeling Rubedo's condition was induced via the Red Dragon. Despite Dmitri's knowledge and research on the anti-U-DO force, he still lacked significant field data on the Red Dragon mode, solely because it was hardly ever implemented. Dmitri did not want the Red Dragon to go out of control, yet, but he wanted to learn as much about it as possible. His prolonged existence taught Yuriev to learn every shred of information he could about his enemies.

He was not nearly as concerned as the rest of his colleagues. Dmitri knew that, even if today's PATHOS experiment went to hell, Nigredo and Citrine were in the Encephalon and ready to carry out their duty. Even if Nigredo failed, Citrine certainly would not. Therefore, Dmitri was not worried.

_- - - - -_

_(Doesn't this feel wonderful, Rubedo? Don't you feel happy?)_

_Yes._

_(Did you hear that, Rubedo? I think 330 just cried…how ironic for a standard to cry. Perhaps they CAN feel pain.)_

_Yes._

_(Garrote tighter…good…that's it. See how his lips are turning blue? Isn't that a lovely shade?)_

_No._

_(You're right…red's much prettier. See how it collects in his mouth?)_

_Yes._

_(You like that color, don't you, Rubedo?)_

_No._

_(No? Then what color DO you like, Rubedo?)_

_…_

_(Ah…I see…yes…you like the color of his face…lifeless…pale…white.)_

_Yes._

_(You like that color, don't you, Rubedo? Such a lifeless color. It's such a lonely color, too. White…a bloodless color, absent of red…fated to never be with red. But of course, that means red is without white, too, doesn't it?)_

_…_

_(It makes you sad, doesn't it?)_

_…Yes._

_(It makes you angry, doesn't it?)_

_Yes._

_(Then why don't you bring the colors together, Rubedo? Reunite them. Paint 330's white face with red.)_

_Yes._

_(Beautiful, isn't it, Rubedo?)_

_Yes._

_(He's not crying anymore, is he, Rubedo?)_

_Yes._

_(So white…so lifeless…)_

_Yes._

_(…So red…so beautiful…)_

_Yes._

_(Rubedo…)_

_Yes._

_(Rubedo!)_

_Yes._

"RUBEDO!!" white screamed, before Albedo suddenly stumbled back into Nigredo, both brothers skidding to a halt upon discovering their eldest brother. Albedo's instincts were right, and he successfully managed to estimate Rubedo's location. He was so happy to know he managed to find his beloved twin, so happy Albedo almost instinctively ran over to embrace Rubedo like yesterday in the ebony Encephalon.

Unfortunately, nothing of the sort transpired when reality sunk into Albedo and Nigredo. As they expected, Rubedo was with one of the standards, the snotty Number 330 from yesterday. However, much unlike yesterday, 330 was standing before Rubedo…lifelessly being propped up via the link master's hands wrapped around the standard's throat. Albedo and Nigredo instantly had to do a double take upon seeing 330's limp body and the lower portion of his pale face spattered by blood spewing out his mouth. The blood ran along Rubedo's strangling hands and sleeves, before finally letting go and making Number 330's body drop to the ground in a heaping thud.

Barely breathing, themselves, Albedo and Nigredo's widened eyes stared in shock at 330, laying on the ground with no signs of his chest raising or falling. The lifeless standard U.R.T.V.'s eyes were still open, wide and reddened with faint evidence of tears. Despite hating the standards' guts, Albedo felt his own eyes sting of fluids as he averted his gaze back at Rubedo. The link master still stood unemotionally, staring at 330's crumpled body as if it was mesmerizing.

Feeling another prolonged squeeze inside his heart, Albedo swallowed his emotions as he stared at his twin. Something was more than 'wrong.' Rubedo was not vindictive, even towards the standard U.R.T.V.s. If anyone were going to kill 330 it would probably be Albedo, not Rubedo. Yet… "Rubedo…?"

_(And here he is, Rubedo. Your precious white.)_

Blankly, Rubedo averted his attention from 330, locking his unfazed eyes on Albedo and causing his twin to shudder. Rubedo could see the horrified tears welling in his brother's amethysts as the middle child's body began to shake uncontrollably. _Yes._

_(You're happy to see him, aren't you?)_

_Yes._

_(Wouldn't you be even happier if he were red, too?)_

_…_

_(You know that's what he wants, Rubedo. He seeks death…he seeks red. Why not give your precious twin what he wants?)_

_…Yes…_

_(You'll both be so happy, won't you, Rubedo?)_

_Yes._

"R-Rubedo?" choked Albedo, blinking nervously as his twin started shuffling his feet closer and closer to the younger twin. The look in Rubedo's eyes chilled Albedo so intensely that the white-haired boy could feel his legs begin to wobble and want to give way. Never in his life had he ever seen Rubedo like this. Rubedo was always a kind-hearted boy. Yes, he had a temper and a big mouth sometimes, but he was never vindictive. Albedo knew Rubedo was less prone to violent outbursts than his twin. Albedo was the unstable one, not Rubedo. Rubedo was strong…Rubedo was kind…Rubedo was…

…Was looking at him with the most lifeless eyes Albedo ever saw. Those beautiful sapphires Albedo sought comfort in were no longer existent, and instead were replaced by the darkest indigo, almost as dark as the night sky. The eyes lacked the usual optimism and spunk Rubedo was known for, and instead replaced by an ominous nothingness…arguably more disturbing than the abyss of PATHOS.

This was not Rubedo. Whatever in God's name was pretending to be his twin…this was not the Rubedo Albedo cherished. Watching Rubedo's image become distorted by the tears glistening his own violet eyes, Albedo choked back an oncoming sob as he stared at the 'thing' that posed as Rubedo. "Rubedo…what…what's happened? What's going on?!"

Nigredo, on the other hand, had a better idea of what was 'going on.' Just like Albedo, the youngest Variant was overcome with fear as he stared at Rubedo closing in on his twin. There was no doubt in Nigredo's mind; he and Albedo were not looking at Rubedo anymore, they were looking at the Red Dragon. _Rubedo…no…_

Nigredo's nightmare…was coming true.

_(He's scared, Rubedo. They're all scared of you.)_

"Don't…be…scared…" Rubedo's voice barely murmured, his tone lacking any trace of emotion and life. He sounded less passionless than the standards, which easily pained Albedo to know his precious twin was degrading to a level lower than the repulsive standards. Rubedo was different than all the other U.R.T.V.s: full of life and confidence that fascinated Albedo. But now…this person before him in Rubedo's skin…it looked like his brother, but…it was not Rubedo.

"R-Rubedo…" Albedo heard his voice whimper, before two thin lines of tears trickled down his face. This could not be happening! Rubedo was strong; he could fight whatever this phantom was, which was trying to overpower the redhead. Rubedo was too tough to admit defeat! Such confidence and strength was what made him Rubedo! "Don't…d-don't do this, Rubedo," the younger twin begged, feeling his brother's hand skim across his neck. Albedo was not afraid to die, but what made this moment so terrifying was "…Don't l-leave me, Rubedo." There was no doubt; this 'thing' in front of him was not Rubedo…Rubedo was elsewhere, if not totally gone. Leaning into the hand caressing his neck, Albedo clamped his eyes shut and quietly sobbed. "N-not now…not like t-_this_!"

Nigredo found it difficult to restrain his own emotions. He, too, did not want Rubedo to leave them like this, nor did Nigredo want to kill his brother because of this, either. Everything was all due to the Red Dragon's poison, the part of Rubedo that was willingly giving into his sorrow and letting it warp into a demon. Technically, the person before them _was_ indeed Rubedo…a very lost…very hurt Rubedo.

"_Emotional trauma is the very stimuli that activates the Red Dragon mode outside the host's own restraints."_

Now Nigredo and Albedo were witnessing, first-hand, the dark power which encompassed the distressed subconscious.

"Rubedo…you have to fight it!" implored Nigredo, doing everything in his power to stay strong in hopes that his eldest brother would do the same. "There's still time!"

_(That's easy for them to say, isn't it, Rubedo? THEY'RE not the ones suffering.)_

_…Yes._

"I'm sorry, Rubedo!" Albedo cried out, before leaning into his twin and burring his face into Rubedo's chest. So close, Albedo could feel the turmoil inside both of Rubedo's scarred hearts, causing his own chest to writhe in unimaginable pain. Somehow, Albedo could not help but wonder if he was the cause for his twin's pain. "I'm so sorry for e-everything I did!" Naturally, he was not just referring to his shower episode, either. At that moment, Albedo did not care about the consequences…he had to tell Rubedo the truth! "I-It was all m-my fault, Rubedo!" the middle child wailed, staining his brother's bloodied uniform with fresh tears. "I was too a-afraid…too fr-friggen selfish at the time…but I-I _never_…I NEVER meant for her to d-die like that, Rubedo!"

Blinking, even Nigredo could not help but wonder what the hell the middle child was attempting to say. Nigredo deduced that by 'her' and 'die,' Albedo was referring to Sakura, but why was Albedo blaming himself? Nigredo figured Rubedo would blame himself, since his perfect wavelength failed to save Sakura, but what was Albedo's excuse? Even Nigredo did not know. "Albedo…w-what are you-?"

Nigredo never had time to finish his question before all three Variants heard a noise, albeit a faint sound. However, it was loud enough for them to turn around towards the sound's direction, enough to see nine bodies standing before them, each looking identical. The blonde boys were Numbers 331 through 339, apparently looking for the Variants and their missing leader Unit 330…

…Their leader…bloodied and laying dead before them.

Despite standard U.R.T.V.s lacking emotion, they all instantly turned towards the direction of the bloodstained Number 666, staring at him with minutely appalled expressions. Such was the most emotion the standards could produce for their fallen comrade.

One of the standards, unidentifiable amongst his cloned brothers, suddenly muttered under his breath to 666, "Monster."

_('Monster,' eh? Well, they don't lie, do they, Rubedo? They were certainly right.)_

_Yes._

_(Why don't you prove to them how 'right' they were, Rubedo?)_

_Yes._

"R-Rubedo?" Albedo's voice garbled, his throat clogged by emotions as he felt his twin shift and pull away, as if what Albedo just said never reached Rubedo's ears. Blinking back his tears, Albedo then watched as his older twin shuffled towards the spoken standard. Stealing a glance back at Nigredo for a second, the two younger Variants then glanced back down at the dead 330…

…And then looked back up to see Rubedo grapple another standard's neck.

"Rubedo!" Nigredo screamed, starting to run ahead in order to pry Rubedo's hands away from the standard unit's throat. Alas, Nigredo felt something restrain him before he could run, and the black-haired boy instantly spun around to see none other than his sister holding him back.

"What the hell are you doing, Citrine?!" blasted Nigredo, tearing himself away from her. Nigredo had no idea when she showed up, nor did he have the time to worry about her. Unfortunately, just as he attempted to run again, Citrine grabbed his collar and painfully choked him into restraint. "Dammit…do you want him to die?!" Naturally, Nigredo was not only talking about the standard currently being strangled by Rubedo, either.

"Dr. Yuriev wants field data on the Red Dragon," Citrine bluntly explained, causing her little brother's teal eyes to widen in horror. "Shut up and sit still until the time arrives, Nigredo."

It did not take a genius to know what 'time' Citrine was expecting to 'arrive.' Nigredo could not believe this! Was PATHOS really created for Rubedo to master the Red Dragon, or was it created so Dmitri could get his precious 'data'?! Perhaps the bastard wanted both. Nigredo knew Dmitri did not want to kill Rubedo unless absolutely necessary, but…

"What the hell are you doing just standing there, Nigredo?!" Albedo hollered, snapping the baby Variant out of his train of though. Albedo did not even give Citrine a caring glance. He did not like her, nor was he interested in knowing why the hell she chose now to grace the Encephalon with her presence. All Albedo cared about was helping Rubedo…and he though Nigredo wished to do the same! "Help me save Rubedo!"

Alas, Nigredo could not seem to untangle himself from Citrine's hold. Like it or not, the executioner U.R.T.V.s had a job to do. Besides, Nigredo learned that there was no way of escaping his fate anymore. If Rubedo could not prevent the Red Dragon from taking over, what made Nigredo think he could escape his own destiny? Dmitri rigged all the U.R.T.V.s' lives. Admitting defeat, Nigredo lowered his head and looked away from the scene unfolding before his watering turquoise eyes.

More than ever, Albedo despised Nigredo's obedience to Dmitri and Citrine. "You housebroken son of a bitch!" Albedo cursed his youngest brother, before spinning back around and running towards Rubedo. Albedo did not give a damn about the standard U.R.T.V.'s safety; he just wanted to snap Rubedo out of whatever the hell possessed him.

_(Your twin brother's just as stubborn as you, Rubedo. He fights so hard to win a losing battle. Now he's helping free the standard U.R.T.V. How foolish.)_

_Yes._

_(Aren't you upset? See how Albedo's clawing to free the standard? He must care more about that boy than you.)_

_No._

_(I think he does, Rubedo. He's not freeing YOU…he's freeing the standard.)_

_Yes…_

_(Doesn't it make you angry? Doesn't it feel horrible to be rejected?)_

_Yes._

_(Unleash your sorrow, Rubedo. Let them ALL feel your pain!)_

_Yes._

"Rubedo?" Albedo blinked, noticing his brother's hold on the suffocating standard's neck suddenly freeze. The standard boy was still gasping for air, but no further pressure was being applied to his throat. Albedo could feel the inactivity in Rubedo's arms, causing Albedo to look at his twin's face, displaying Rubedo's disturbing eyes closed. Perhaps Rubedo finally came to his senses? "Rubedo…?"

_(You've found your outlet. You've found a way to relinquish your pain. Now DO it!)_

_- - - - -_

"Dr. Yuriev, I must insist we execute an ejection at once!" implored the female scientist, her face glistening with nervous sweat as she practically begged her boss. The readings for Number 666 were getting off the charts and undeterminable. Plus, it was already confirmed that Number 330's wavelength ceased function, meaning the boy was most certainly dead.

"That's not your decision to make," countered Yuriev, also scrutinizing the monitors. He was well aware of the dangers, but Dmitri had his reasons, too. Losing 330 was a small sacrifice Dmitri could overlook. Frankly, most U.R.T.V.s under 500 were expendable, anyway, since they were obsolete and would not be adequate for the Descent Operation next month. Losing one 330-Unit was not going to be a tragedy, especially if it provided ample data about the Red Dragon.

But even Dmitri had to admit that the current data flashing across the monitors was impressive. Dmitri knew the most about the Red Dragon, however there were still elements to the anti-U-DO mode that he still needed data about. Specifically, Yuriev wanted to know how the Red Dragon had evolved over twelve years. It had not been activated until a short while ago in Sakura's winter domain. Therefore, the Red Dragon had technically been dormant for twelve years, ever since Rubedo's conception. During those twelve years it was anyone's guess how the Red Dragon evolved with Rubedo's growing body, along with the boy's flawless wavelength and enhanced combat skills. Honestly, Dmitri had high hopes for the Red Dragon and desired to see it in action. The Red Dragon mode was his trump card for the Descent Operation, after all. If Rubedo's power had advanced as highly as Dmitri planned, then Miltia would most definitely be destroyed come the Zohar's link severing. The planet's destruction would be a small sacrifice for Dmitri's larger goal.

Yuriev needed to see it with his own eyes, just once, to know his trump card would indeed bring about his salvation.

_- - - - -_

The moment Rubedo's eyes flashed open, Albedo knew it was all over. Similarly to clichés claiming the victim saw their 'life flash before their eyes,' Albedo could almost predict what was about to happen when he saw Rubedo's eyes. Those eyes, once sapphires turned black, now blazed redder than the boy's hair. It was not a deep, cherry crimson like Rubedo's hair, either, but a bright, blinding, painful red…the color of hellfire.

So stunned…so afraid…Albedo stumbled backwards, away from his brother and the standard whilst Rubedo became engulfed in the demonic carmine aura Albedo studied over the past few months. Red…malevolent…everything swarmed around Rubedo as though all the devils and evils of the world became attracted to Number 666, as if he were a magnet. There was no doubt in Albedo's mind anymore…the 'aura' that plagued Rubedo's wavelength was the Red Dragon, and the Red Dragon was…a monster.

"Here it comes," Citrine muttered, clicking off her pistol's safety and clutching the trigger. Nigredo was mind-boggled that the girl even had a weapon, never mind the fact that she was wasting no time in preparing to kill Rubedo. Nigredo, too, knew what that red aura was which enveloped Rubedo. He and Citrine were trained to know exactly what would happen once the Red Dragon went out of control. Nigredo knew the facts so clearly he had nightmares that flawlessly mimicked this scene, confirming his nightmare come true. "Get ready, Nigredo." But the young black-haired boy did not want to 'get ready'…especially 'get ready' to kill his best friend!

_(So afraid… everyone fears you, Rubedo. Monster.)_

_Yes._

_(But they're weak. Eliminate the weak, Rubedo.)_

_Yes._

Just like 330, the standard unit Rubedo was currently choking gave out a helpless cry before ceasing all motion. A short distance away, Albedo's eyes widened in horror as he watched his twin take the life of another brother. For the first time in his life, Albedo almost felt sorry for the standard bastards…almost. Whom Albedo was more concerned about was Rubedo and what affect this incident would have on _him_!

_(Another dead…another white…though wouldn't it be better if he were red?)_

_Yes._

It was not enough that the standard was dead. No. There was a finishing touch the hell-encompassed link master needed to do. The aura around him brightened to dangerously bright levels, causing Albedo's eyes to water profusely when he saw his twin snap the already-dead U.R.T.V.'s neck. The snap was so loud and rough that blood instantly poured from the fracture, camouflaged by the red glow of Rubedo's body. As if the sound of snapping bone was satisfying, Rubedo then dropped the standard's limp body like 330's, causing the standard's unsupported head to bob back and forth for a moment. The sight alone almost caused Albedo to retch.

_(Two down…eleven to go…Rubedo.)_

If the standards had any other emotions, they would have normally run away screaming after seeing two of their comrades die. That, or they would have fought back. But much to Albedo's unparalleled disgust, the standards just stood idle. All eight of them lined up as though they were waiting to see whom Rubedo would kill next, like mindless cattle about to be slaughtered.

…And slaughtered they would be.

With nothing holding him back, the Red Dragon chose his next victim. Albedo just continued to look on in paralyzing shock, his horror multiplying as he watched his twin maul through another doll-like U.R.T.V. The more that died, the more creative the Dragon got; snapped vertebra…snapped limbs…many heads…everything merged into a gruesome crimson sea after a while, Albedo unable to decipher who was alive and who was dead anymore. Some standards cried, though most did not seem to mind being mutilated, each one shedding more lifeblood than the last. Fountains of carnage flooded under the Variants' feet, the red ocean carrying bits and pieces of ivory flesh and bone. The previously black world of the PATHOS Encephalon quickly became a world of red; illuminated by the Red Dragon's intensifying aura and a bloodstained ground. He never liked the standards, but even Albedo felt faint whilst watching his twin brother tear apart the rest of the 330-Units.

_This isn't Rubedo_… Albedo knew, shaking his head in disbelief as another body littered the grisly ground in dilapidating pieces. _What's happened to Rubedo?_ But the answer came almost as quickly as Albedo formulated the question. With the PATHOS world now illuminated in red, Albedo could better see the corpse-filled ground…

…Where the Red Dragon's demonic black shadow laid.

Upon seeing the bloodstained shadow, Citrine instantly trained her gun on Rubedo's head, just as he finished with the final standard. She knew the 330-Units were expendable, but now that they were all gone she knew the Variants were in danger. Unlike Numbers 330 through 339, the U.R.T.V. Variants were much more important, and under no circumstances could she and Nigredo die before the Descent Operation next month. Thus, Citrine knew that if Rubedo dared come near her, Nigredo, or Albedo, she would have to kill the link master. Citrine could only hope Dmitri got all the 'data' he needed on the Red Dragon and would now force-eject Rubedo from PATHOS before it was too late.

Nigredo was praying the identical.

_- - - - -_

The situation getting critical, Dmitri relented and turned to the woman in charge of monitoring the Variants. Thinking like Citrine, Dmitri knew he could not afford losing the Variants like the 330-Units. "Implement the force-ejection now," he ordered, while the female scientist instantly clicked the ejection button. He got sufficient data on the Red Dragon, at least enough to know how powerful it became.

Even Dmitri Yuriev had to admit…the Red Dragon was much stronger than he originally figured. The data readings were unprecedented. It was a very good thing Rubedo could not utilize the Red Dragon mode by his own accord. Otherwise, Dmitri would be in serious trouble. _My God_. To think, Dmitri created a weapon more powerful than even he originally intended. Perhaps killing U-DO might not be as impossible as he believed.

But before Dmitri could start changing his plans, the female scientist gasped. "Uh…s-sir…nothing's happening!"

Blinking and keeping his surprise in check, Dmitri turned to her terminal. "What's the status on the encryption code?"

"Still operational with thirty-two minutes remaining, sir," the woman answered, sounding very nervous as she repeatedly clicked the ejection button. "I don't understand…the code's not corrupt so nothing should override it!"

Dmitri thought the same. However, upon glancing back at Rubedo's wave pattern chart, the man also realized that he immensely underestimated the extremity of the Red Dragon mode. It was stronger than he ever imagined, meaning Dmitri's encryption code probably was not sufficient enough to counter the overpowering Red Dragon.

_Shit_, Dmitri cursed to himself. Honestly, Dmitri needed Rubedo to live long enough to see the Descent Operation. However, it was much more important that Numbers 668 and 669 survived. Thanks to his fail-safe, the Descent could still be executed without the link master, just less dramatically and with less confidence. However, if the Red Dragon went out of control _today_, there might not be a Descent Operation next month, at least one Yuriev would see. That was something Dmitri could not risk.

However, with the encryption code failing, if Dmitri could not pull Rubedo out of PATHOS…and if the Red Dragon went haywire like it was now…then the only alternative was…

_Citrine…Nigredo…kill him._

_- - - - -_

As if she could almost hear her father's thoughts, Citrine pointed her pistol at Rubedo and gripped the trigger. She knew this day would come and now that she was finally carrying out her duty, Citrine almost felt fulfilled.

Nigredo, on the other hand, felt like a murderer. No…_executioner_. Whether or not this moment was predetermined did not deny the fact that Nigredo refused to kill Rubedo, never mind see Citrine kill Rubedo. Nigredo wanted to break free from his cage, not so he could selfishly be free, but so he could save his best friend! The black-haired boy did not care about the repercussions anymore! He did not care if he betrayed his destiny! He had to save Rubedo!

Which was why Nigredo used all of his strength to tackle Citrine, causing the stunned girl to fall over and fire a bullet into oblivion. Her pistol went sailing, far from either executioner's reach, while Nigredo used as much strength as possible to keep Citrine pinned down and not go after Rubedo.

"Nigredo! You _stupid IDIOT_!" Citrine screamed, struggling with her little brother. Despite Citrine being older and boasting how the female types were 'superior' to the males, there was no denying that the male U.R.T.V.s were better built and physically stronger than the girls. Thus, even Citrine had difficulty warding off her damned brother. "He'll kill YOU if you don't kill him!"

"Then let him kill me!" Nigredo yelled back, grabbing onto his sister's wrists before her hands could start clawing his face like a cat. Frankly, if Rubedo ever killed Nigredo, the youngest brother figured such would be a very fitting death. Nigredo would happily accept death by Rubedo's hand.

Watching Nigredo and Citrine's scene from afar momentarily distracted Albedo from his twin. He did not fully understand what was happening between them, though he always sensed something suspicious regarding the last two U.R.T.V.s. Albedo could not fully explain it, but there was something very odd about Citrine and Nigredo…a secret Albedo wanted to unearth. Unfortunately, now was not the time to be uncovering any secrets. The second he heard a nearby footstep slap through a puddle of blood, Albedo cringed before slowly taking his eyes off Nigredo and Citrine…

…And looked up to see his beloved twin…engulfed in that malevolent red aura.

Albedo's violet eyes widened in horror as he peered into Rubedo's red-blazed orbs. The demonic Dragon's shadow ominously towered over Albedo as Rubedo stepped closer and closer. Unable to take his watering eyes off of Rubedo's, Albedo bit his trembling lip as he realized what was about to happen. All the other 330 U.R.T.V.s were dead…he was next.

But…was that so bad? Even if Albedo did die, it was by Rubedo's hands. Plus, Rubedo would be the last person Albedo saw before he died. In retrospect, Albedo suddenly realized he would not mind this moment. There was a bizarre sweetness in knowing Rubedo would take Albedo's life. As long as it was Rubedo…everything was okay.

_(He wants to die…DO it!)_

_…_

"It's okay…Rubedo…" Albedo sniffled, giving his demonic other half a watery smile as Rubedo came closer and closer. Slowly but surely, the red aura expanded and engulfed both twins, coursing across Albedo's body with a wave of grief and pains…all Rubedo's. But in a way, this moment filled Albedo with a strange kind of happiness. He would be freed from his curse…and Rubedo would to the honors. Albedo would not want it any other way.

_(KILL him!)_

_…_

_…_

_(Kill him, Rubedo!)_

_…_

_…No._

Even Citrine and Nigredo stopped their wrestling feud upon noticing a dramatic shift across the mental link. It was faint before it vanished, as if a U.R.T.V. briefly linked before quickly disconnecting. It was so strange, but before they could ask questions, the executioner Variants turned to where Albedo and the Red Dragon were situated.

Naturally, Nigredo and his sister's eyes widened in disbelief upon seeing the red aura around the link master gradually dissipate.

_- - - - -_

"Doctor! _Look_!" the Variant's supervisor gasped. "Readings show compressions of Number 666's wavelength increasing by a rate 3% per second!"

Even that surprised Dmitri. Glancing at the Variant's monitors, Dmitri blinked in shock as he watched Rubedo's unruly wave pattern gradually condense to a more stable flow. The constriction was slow, but it was nevertheless working.

"I'll be damned…" Dmitri muttered, before fixing his glasses and holding back an amused smirk. Apparently, his damned son was taking advantage of yesterday's PATHOS training after all. It was a miracle the boy was a fast learner like he bragged. This moment just kept getting better and better.

"Shall I eject him, sir?" the female scientist practically begged.

Not wanting to take any more chances for one day, Dmitri finally gave into the woman's requests. "Yes. The second his wavelength is within permissible bounds pull him out of there. Send the ejection alert across the PATHOS Encephalon and have the others eject themselves, too."

"Roger!"

They could only hope Rubedo could manage returning his wavelength to permissible bounds before the encryption code was gone forever. He only had twenty minutes. Hopefully that would be more than enough time.

_- - - - -_

When the realization came that he was not about to die, Albedo then reverted his attention back to Rubedo. As the aura around them dissipated, the younger twin watched his other half begin to writhe in pain. Albedo, too, could feel the pain in his own heart, reflected from Rubedo's half. His twin looked as though Rubedo was attempting to draw all of the Red Dragon's powers back into him, a painful process Albedo figured was PATHOS' wave constriction.

And Rubedo was doing it all to save Albedo's life. "Rubedo…"

_(Why do you continue to fight it, Rubedo?!)_

_Because…I don't want to kill Albedo! He's my twin brother for God's sake!_

_(You're just being a coward!)_

_Saving a life ISN'T cowardice!_

_(You'll regret this one day, Rubedo. You can't escape what you are, you monster.)_

_Maybe…but at least today will be one less day you'll be running free!_

_(Hehe…you still talk like we're two different entities. But one day you'll understand and accept what you truly are. Until then, Rubedo…I suggest you savor your little delusions of being a 'normal' boy._

_(Very soon, Rubedo, you'll understand what kind of a monster you truly are._

_(Very…VERY soon…)_

"Rubedo?" Albedo gasped, watching in horror as Rubedo's red aura dimmed and started to retract. His twin's body continued to tremble in pain, while the torturous wave constriction caused Rubedo's head to throb massively. Being unfamiliar with the practice of wave constriction made the experience even more painful for Rubedo. He could feel the side effects of his endeavor bleeding out his mouth. His chest felt like it might explode, causing the boy to wrap his arms around it in an attempt to keep himself as tightly bound as possible. Grinding his bloodstained teeth, Rubedo choked on the metallic fluids as he continued to force his thoughts to as minimalistic as possible. He had to control this no matter how painful it felt. Rubedo swore he would do this, and by God, he would do it!

_I'm not…gonna' let this…control me! I won't let it!_

_I am…NOT…a monster! I won't…LET myself…be a…monster!!_

_- - - - -_

"Dr. Yuriev…Number 666's wave pattern is within permissible bounds!" reported the woman, her hands already heading for the ejection button as Dmitri called back to her:

"Then get them out of there, _now_!"

_- - - - -_

"Rubedo?" whispered Albedo as the Red Dragon's aura vanished and plunged the four Designer Children back into the dark abyss of the PATHOS Encephalon. When the last trace of the Red Dragon mode ceased, all that was left was Rubedo, staggeringly standing before his twin. The redhead's face was obscured with sweat and blood dripping from his nose and mouth, running across an exhausted expression. Barely able to keep his eyes open and panting heavily, Rubedo stumbled forward…

…Albedo so nearly caught his bloodied twin before the link master vanished from the Encephalon.

_- - - - -_

The PATHOS spinal connection jack instantly jerked out of the link master's neck, waking the boy with a gasping start. Panting immensely, the redhead attempted to sit up before noticing his restraints were still binding him. It was only after the pod's glass case opened that the metal restraints were automatically unlocked, freeing Rubedo and allowing him to sit up. Cradling the bleeding back of his neck, the boy coughed up a few faint traces of blood before feeling his breathing return to normal.

The humming sounds of the other Variant pods opening could be heard beside him. Similarly, Nigredo, Albedo, and Citrine sat up in their dive capsules, briefly coughing and coming back to reality. There was a vague reassurance in knowing they were all out of that hellish Encephalon, especially after what happened to the standards…

_…Oh God_… Rubedo suddenly realized, before turning his gaze towards the rows of capsules housing Numbers 330 through 339. _…What about 330 and…?_

Rubedo never had time to finish his question before the answer arrived. Right before his eyes were ten standard U.R.T.V. dive pods, all holding the bodies of Numbers 330 through 339. Each pod was identical, from housing the same clone…to possessing bloodstained glass. Rubedo felt his stomach churn when he realized all of the standard capsules were obscured with blood, disabling Rubedo from seeing the standard child inside. Frankly, judging by the substantial amount of blood all over the glass, Rubedo doubted he wanted to see what the standards really looked like. The Encephalon worked in conjunction with the human subconscious inside the brain. Therefore, excruciatingly high outputs of U-DO Retro Virus attacking a person's subconscious could potentially cause the brain to…_erupt_.

…And it was all because of Rubedo.

Ten U.R.T.V.s were dead because of him.

He now carried the blood of ten of his comrades…his brothers.

…And he dared to claim he was not a monster.

Albedo and Nigredo never had time to climb out of their dive pods before Rubedo had already bolted out of Diving Lab #3, running off to God-knew-where again. Exchanging tearful glances, the two younger brothers sighed, not knowing what else to do anymore.

- - - - -

**TO BE CONTINUED IN THE FINAL CHAPTER**

- - - - -

* * *

**A/N**: I certainly hope readers have realized that this story wasn't meant to be a carbon copy of the Miltian Conflict. What later happens on Miltia was induced by Rubedo's fear. Conversely, The PATHOS Incident is more of an outright U.R.T.V. massacre via the Red Dragon going out of control due to Rubedo's emotions.

The real "cause" of The PATHOS Incident wasn't even the Red Dragon, per se. It was meant to be an emotional breakdown on Rubedo's behalf, instigated by the overwhelming events of Sakura's death, Albedo's insanity, and everything else from the past eight chapters. Bear in mind, too, that The PATHOS Incident takes place in the infancy of Rubedo's "control/understanding" of the Red Dragon mode. Thus, it wouldn't take much for that power to run rampant. Rubedo seeks an "outlet" for his pain, as mentioned in previous chapters, and that outlet is The PATHOS Incident. In a nutshell, this entire story was meant to be one big/messy emotional breakdown.

Next regards Citrine. I know she's been rather "confused" in this story. Yet, when you think about it, come Episode III (15 years later), she's still confused of why she exists. I have a feeling such was an ongoing dilemma in Citrine all her life. Nonetheless, I actually don't consider Number 668 to be as "bad" as she acts. Yeah, she's arrogant but she's not evil, either, and I do think she and Nigredo share a bond. Where did I get that impression? In Episode III when Citrine dies, Dmitri notices how Gaignun is saddened by her death, noting how Nigredo and Citrine had a "connection." I found that scene bittersweet. It's actually been a very inspirational segment for this story regarding Nigredo and Citrine. Plus, the scene also demonstrates Dmitri's disregards towards his children when he claims their feelings are illusions and unneeded, a common theme throughout "PATHOS." Thus, I hope Citrine and Nigredo didn't come across as OOC in this fanfic, since there is canon evidence of their connection.

Well, there it is, The PATHOS Incident. The last chapter is just a follow-up, though just as pivotal and dramatic. Stay tuned for the conclusion!

Reviews, anyone? I really want to hear your impressions about The PATHOS Incident.


	10. Straight to Hell and Beyond

**COPYRIGHT NOTE**: I don't own _Xenosaga_

**(Story Revision Completion: 07-23-09)**

For those wondering what the heck possessed me to revise a huge story like this, it's not merely because I have "too much time on my hands" (heh, don't I wish!). I consider this story one of the more "meaningful" fanfics I've written, and I do believe it's worth the extra attention in polishing. To date, I haven't revised any other published fanfic of mine (at least to this profound extent), so that obviously means I'm fond of this story and want it to be worth your time. I hope you readers agree and find this revised version worthwhile.

- - - - -

**COMMENTS**: Here it is, ladies and gentlemen: the last (and longest) chapter of "PATHOS," the grand finale loaded with final plot twists, more Rubedo/Sakura segments, and tons of U.R.T.V. drama. Wow, this story's been one helluva ride, eh? I'm actually happy and sad that it's done: happy, because this is my first real Xenosaga fanfic ever (and also one of my biggest fanfiction undertakings), but sad because it's always bittersweet to see things come to an end. Despite how dark/depressing this story got, it was fun for me to write. But enough melancholy (God knows there's gonna' be plenty in this chapter after what happened last time). Anyway, this chapter serves as an "aftermath" follow-up to Chapter IX, tying the loose ends and wrapping up this twisted drama once and for all.

Oh, and be aware that this chapter includes a "remixed/AUish" cutscene altered from the canon.

So without further delay, I present to you the final installment of "PATHOS." Please do enjoy.

* **Content Disclaimer**: This chapter contains a brief scene of gory violence. Reader discretion is advised.

**

* * *

**

PATHOS: Chapter X

_Aiselne Nocturnus_

The Federation needed an explanation. Despite Salvator's authority, the Galaxy Federation was going to demand some reason behind the loss of ten U.R.T.V.s in one afternoon. There was no way around it! Dmitri knew how to finagle loopholes and pull strings, but eventually government officials were going to notice something suspicious. With the Descent Operation less than a month away, Dmitri could not afford any problematic scandals that might hinder his plans. The government put its entire trust into the U.R.T.V.s, a trust that was not easy to build, but could easily crumble if word spread about his bioweapons massacring each other. Thus, the situation had to be handled tenderly, since it certainly could not be 'covered up.' Of course, Dr. Yuriev was not stupid enough to tell the whole truth…just enough truth to shut up the government long enough for the Descent Operation to transpire next month.

_Federation Report 29375:_

_Ten casualties resulted from PATHOS experiment malfunction. PATHOS Encephalon proved too weak to handle massive output of U-DO Retro Virus and collapsed. Standard U.R.T.V.s 330 through 339 pronounced dead and Variants 666 through 669 safe and operational. PATHOS deemed inadequate and immediately terminated. Variant U.R.T.V.s will resume normal training procedures._

The matter was laid to rest as soon as it ended, and from then on buried under file as _The PATHOS Incident._

_- - - - -_

"**Straight to Hell and Beyond"**

- - - - -

_"You're…not afraid of me, Sakura?"_

_"'Afraid' of you?! Heheh. Why would I be afraid of YOU, Rubedo?"_

_"Well…I'm sure you've already realized…you' know, 'what' I am."_

_"What do you mean? …Oh! Rubedo, don't worry about THAT! I mean; I'm no more 'normal' than you are, after all. If you don't mind me being a girl 'trapped' in her own subconscious domain, then sure it doesn't matter to me if you're a U.R.T.V."_

_"Sakura…do you even know 'what' a U.R.T.V. is?"_

_"Well…not really. You guys never explained it very well."_

_"That's because…I really didn't want you to know. I figured you'd be scared."_

_"'Scared'? What for?"_

_"Sakura…U.R.T.V.s are bioweapons. We're created to combat U-DO."_

_"What's U-DO?"_

_"…I'm not really sure, myself. Whatever it is, though, it must be powerful for Dad to have built us to be…the way we are."_

_"'The way you are'? Rubedo, I…I don't think I understand. You're talking as though you're an abomination or something."_

_"That's because we U.R.T.V.s ARE abominations, Sakura."_

_"How can you say such things, Rubedo?! No child is an abomination!"_

_"You don't understand."_

_"No…perhaps I don't, but I still don't like the way you're talking about yourself, Rubedo. The Rubedo I know is very brave and compassionate. I know there's a lot I don't understand about U.R.T.V.s, but the U.R.T.V.s I know aren't abominations at all! You, Albedo, and Nigredo are some of the sweetest boys I've ever met. All of you treat me so kindly and make me feel so happy. Before I met the three of you I was always alone. Now, I can wake up in the morning with a smile on my face, knowing I'll be seeing you soon."_

_"Sakura…"_

_"Maybe I'm naïve. Mom used to always say I was a little 'too' carefree. But I know how I feel and I feel very strongly about you and the U.R.T.V.s. I'm sure your dad had his reasons for creating you, reasons I'll probably never understand. However, despite anything else, I don't believe you're an abomination, Rubedo. Even if you were 'meant' to be one, I don't think you turned out to be one._

"_So you see, there's no way I could ever be afraid of you, Rubedo. I feel my safest when you're near, and I think your brothers feel the same. If anything…I think…you're just afraid of yourself."_

_"…Maybe."_

_"You shouldn't be. You're a lot stronger than you realize, Rubedo. Don't be scared."_

Alas, he _was_ scared…more scared than Rubedo ever felt in his entire life.

He killed them…

Rubedo killed ten of his brothers that afternoon for no damn reason other than to selfishly relieve himself of his pain. The ironic part was that in doing so, Rubedo not only projected his pain on others but he multiplied his own pain, as opposed to ridding himself of it once and for all. To add to the poetic irony, the ten 330-Units were now dead; their problems were over. Meanwhile, Rubedo was left to wallow in his self-inflicted agony whilst carrying the guilt of murdering innocent comrades. Despite the standards' attitudes and resentment of him, Rubedo knew he was out of line to deliberately slaughter them. Nobody deserved to be killed via selfishness.

_Selfishness._

According to Sakura, Rubedo was a "brave and compassionate" person. She also claimed be was a "wonderful boy." The girl's infatuation disabled her from ever understanding the true nature of U.R.T.V. Number 666. However, what would Sakura think of Rubedo now? Would she still love him after she found out he selfishly murdered ten of his brothers? Would she just run away, scared, like she did in his dream? Or worse…would she condemn him, hate him, or reject him?

She trusted him. Everyone trusted Rubedo, but Sakura Mizrahi was different. Not only did she trust Rubedo with her life, but she trusted him with her mother and unborn sister's lives, too. Such was why Sakura asked Rubedo to make his promise on that fateful, sun-kissed summer afternoon.

"_My mother and sister…I want you to look after them for me. Okay?"_

He could not help but wonder…would Sakura still trust Rubedo with her family after knowing what he did today? If Rubedo killed his own brothers, what stopped him from killing Sakura's mother and sister? If Sakura were still alive, what would she say to him? Would she take back the promise? Would she slap him for being such a fool? Would she regret kissing him? Would regret ever meeting him?!

_"Meeting you was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, Rubedo."_

No. Sakura would never hate him, and that was the most painful part. Even if she walked right into his bedroom at that very moment, with full knowledge of what happened in the PATHOS Encephalon, Sakura would never hate Rubedo. She was too kind and loving to hate him. Knowing Sakura, she would stroll into his room with a big smile on her face to reassure him that she was not mad. She would be the first to hold him and tell him she, of all people, understood what it felt like to endure massive levels of pain. Sakura always put others before herself, and constantly strived to cheer up Rubedo when he was sad.

Rubedo did not believe he deserved such kindness anymore. He was a murderer. This was not technically the first time he killed someone, but all the other times were "business," according to Dmitri. The only other time Rubedo killed was during missions where U.R.T.V.s resumed their inherent roles as Federation weaponry. Alas, that did not mean Rubedo enjoyed killing, nor did it mean he was spared from nightmares of his innocent victims' screams. However, Rubedo sought ignorant bliss in knowing his 'kills' were "business," and not via his own pleasure.

But today was different. Today, Rubedo murdered ten of his U.R.T.V. comrades to relinquish his pain. The worst part was…he enjoyed every minute of it.

The standards' cries were melodious. Their blood was intoxicating. Everything felt so _good_. Never before in his life did Rubedo feel so fulfilled, as if he tore off the 'wonderful boy' veil and revealed the 'weapon' side of his existence…his true existence. There was a strange satisfaction in accepting his demonic side, and it felt…wonderful.

Unfortunately…after the fact…it did not feel so 'wonderful' anymore. No longer inebriated, Rubedo was feeling the punishing aftereffects of his actions like the world's worst hangover. Sadly, the pain of this aftermath would not go away no matter how many times the distressed boy retched or laid down. Every second was plagued with another flashback of the PATHOS Encephalon: another bloodied standard's face, sometimes half-faces of half-heads, sometimes no heads, or just screams, or seas of blood, or heaps of rotting carcasses…

His knees smashed against the tiled floor of his quarter's bathroom. The red-haired boy's weak legs proved unable to support his body after retching for the umpteenth time that afternoon. Rubedo's body convulsed violently, glistening with a feverish sweat while he leaned against his bathroom's toilet as his only way of supporting his weight. So intensely weakened at the moment, Rubedo could barely keep his eyes open, and his head hung effortlessly. He could barely sit upright and sat on the cold bathroom floor like a pathetic ragdoll carelessly tossed across a room.

What would Sakura think of him _now_?

What would anyone think of him, the link master, now?

Did it really matter anymore?

_"You're a lot stronger than you realize, Rubedo."_

He did not feel strong any longer. If he were so strong Rubedo would have found a safer way to relieve his pain. Alas, he did everything wrong; he bottled up his pain, the bottle exploded, and many people died in the explosion. Now Rubedo had to suffer the justifiable consequences.

_"Why are you the leader? You're a monster!"_

Those standard bastards were right all along. Rubedo was truly a monster, and now the standard 330 U.R.T.V.s could rest in peace knowing they were right and he was wrong.

_- - - - -_

"What do we do now, Albedo?" Nigredo somberly asked as he and his older brother slowly traversed the corridor leading to Dmitri's office. As planned, Nigredo and Citrine's rescheduled meeting with Dmitri was next on the agenda after Diving Lab #3 was cleaned. The middle child was not invited to Dmitri's meeting, but Nigredo saw no trouble in Albedo walking him to the office, especially since Albedo had nobody else to turn to at the moment. Frankly, Nigredo needed a little companionship for himself right now.

Staring blankly ahead, Albedo walked in a daze, barely noticing Nigredo's question. However, despite the white-haired boy's unfazed expression on the outside, on the inside Albedo was quite animated. The ordeal inside PATHOS was still fresh in his mind, and he was still rather spooked. However, as time passed, Albedo felt a strange 'happiness' spark within him, identical to the time in Sakura's winter domain when Rubedo first saw his shadow. The PATHOS ordeal was actually not different.

_Rubedo…really is a monster, after all_. For some reason, despite how his own twin attempted to kill him, Albedo still felt…happy. Albedo's suspicions were right all along regarding Rubedo's odd aura. As if Albedo received the highest enlightenment, the middle child almost felt like he was floating. Based on last night, Albedo knew Rubedo cared about him, and now it was confirmed that Rubedo was just as monstrous as his twin.

There was a chance. Albedo could sense it.

The moment Rubedo attempted to kill him Albedo sensed something very profound. It only lasted for a second, but it was long enough to instill the greatest piece of insight into Albedo's mind. He could feel Rubedo's Red Dragon power radiating, so intense and powerful that nothing could stop it, not even death, or perhaps not even…immortality. The Red Dragon mode was a devilish force powerful enough to fight, maybe eliminate, U-DO, but there was an additional advantage. The U.R.T.V.s barely understood U-DO, but Albedo had a feeling it was a very almighty entity, having witnessed it kill Sakura Mizrahi. He may not know 'what' the hell U-DO was, but Albedo knew it was powerful, almost godlike.

Gods were supposedly immortal, which was what differentiated them from mortals. Yet, hypothetically, if U-DO's greatest adversary was, say, the Red Dragon, that meant Rubedo's power was formidable to counteract a godlike entity. And if he was able to kill a god, that meant Rubedo was capable of killing an _immortal_.

There were still loose ends to tie and plans to be made, but Albedo was almost certain he just discovered the loophole in his regenerative curse.

"Albedo?" The black-haired boy's voice spoke again, this time louder to try and get Albedo's attention. Nigredo had noticed an odd change in Albedo ever since their last PATHOS experiment concluded. Once again, the middle Variant shut himself off the mental link, which Nigredo found strange at a time like this when Albedo would probably be poking around to tap into Rubedo's thoughts. Instead, Number 667 seemed to be lost in a daze-like trance, purposely keeping his thoughts and expression ambiguous so nobody would know what was going on inside Albedo. Despite being a prime example of living a 'secretive' life, Nigredo abhorred secrets.

Halting in the middle of the hallway, Nigredo grabbed Albedo's nearest arm to stop the white-haired Variant from obliviously walking ahead. "Albedo, what's wrong?" demanded Nigredo, narrowing his teal eyes seriously to try and pry the truth from his older sibling. Despite how Nigredo was scheduled to report to Dmitri's office, the baby Variant was much more concerned with his brothers. Rubedo was already in a fragile state, and something was telling Nigredo that Albedo was the same. "What's wrong?" he repeated, this time more gently as he locked his eyes with Albedo's. Nigredo did not want to lose another brother during at time like this.

It took a moment, but Albedo's violet eyes blinked before seeming to come back to reality. However, as if the older brother's actions did not disturb Nigredo enough, the younger brother actually felt a chill run down his spine when he watched Albedo's face flash him a content smile. "Nothing's wrong, Nigredo," Albedo reassured, talking as though they were chatting about the weather. "In fact, everything's great!"

Blinking, himself, Nigredo's face was riddled in confusion. Nigredo was not blind to Albedo's drop in sanity over the past few months. However, now was not the time for Albedo's mind to wander into psychotic tangents like earlier in the shower room. Placing both hands on Albedo's shoulders, Nigredo firmly gave his older sibling a shake, praying to keep Albedo's mind in focus. With Rubedo in his current condition the leader was going to need as much support as available. Albedo could not afford to slip into insanity now of all times!

"Albedo…you've got to stay focused for Rubedo," Nigredo practically implored, feeling his own heart begin to pound anxiously. The youngest Variant was quite resilient for his age, but even Nigredo had his limits, and could not afford carrying all the weight of this matter alone. "Rubedo needs you," he added, before glancing away for a second and including, "I need you, too. I can't help Rubedo without you." He conveniently left out the fact that Nigredo also needed his own moral support, though he was not selfish enough to voice such.

But much to Nigredo's surprise, he actually heard Albedo laugh once, causing the youngest brother to look into Albedo's eyes. Surprisingly, those amethysts did not display a look of madness. Albedo looked genuinely happy, but happy over what?! Surely he could not be pleased with what happened in PATHOS, especially after Rubedo attempted to kill him! What in God's name was happening to Albedo?!

"You're so serious, Nigredo," smiled Albedo, before patting his brother's arms as a cue for Nigredo to let go. He understood how Nigredo failed to join in his happiness. After all, nobody else knew the little revelation Albedo unearthed about his immortality. Thus, such a realization would only please Albedo. However, even he did not want to worry Nigredo today. Patting his little brother's black hair like a pet, Albedo then strolled in the opposite direction of Dmitri's office, calling back to the baffled Nigredo, "Everything's going to be fine, you'll see."

Nigredo did not understand anything anymore. He was getting just as lost as Rubedo. Albedo was making no sense and Rubedo was too disturbed to seek at the moment. The only other person Nigredo had a slight chance of turning to was…

"About time you showed up," Citrine's voice suddenly scoffed, the female type catching up with Nigredo as both young Variants stood before Yuriev's office. Nigredo hardly managed to turn to her before the blonde opened the office door and motioned her brother to follow. "Let's get this over with."

Not having anywhere, or anyone, else to go to, Nigredo obediently followed.

_- - - - -_

_"Why do things die, Sakura?"_

_"…Why would you ask me something like that, Rubedo? If this is about…my condition, I told you not to worry about that."_

_"Nuh-no. That's not why I asked. I mean, yeah I'm worried about you, but…"_

_"Rubedo…just tell me."_

_"Well…it's about Albedo."_

_"Albedo? Is he…sick?"_

_"No, nothing like that. Actually…he's perfectly fine, at least…physically."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"You' see…the other day he found out about his powers. He can regenerate, Sakura. His body cells are capable of growing at an accelerated rate, allowing him to heal almost instantly."_

_"Wow. That's amazing."_

_"…Albedo didn't think so for long. When he found out nobody else could regenerate…he freaked out, not wanting to accept that Nigredo and I could die and not him."_

_"I see. He's afraid of being left alone, isn't he?"_

_"Those were pretty much his exact words."_

_"Oh Rubedo, I'm sorry to hear that."_

_"So am I. I mean; I'm well aware that things eventually die, but…what's the point?"_

_"'What's the point' of living, or dying?"_

_"Both, I guess, especially when some people can die and others can't."_

_"Do you really believe Albedo won't die?"_

_"He didn't when he blew his head off."_

_"WHAT?!"_

_"Aw, shit…I-I didn't mean to say that, Sakura."_

_"…Oh…well, that's okay, I guess. But…did he…REALLY do that, Rubedo?"_

_"…Yeah."_

_"Oh God. That must've been horrifying."_

_"It was. I actually thought he was dead for a moment."_

_"Rubedo…"_

_"Na, it's alright. Trust me, Albedo took it harder than I did."_

_"That doesn't mean you weren't hurt."_

_"…"_

_"Rubedo?"_

_"…I'm alright."_

_"You obviously aren't. It's okay, Rubedo…you can talk to me…"_

_"I-I know, but…Sakura, do me a favor and don't read into this, okay? It's hard enough and I don't want to think about it anymore than I have to."_

_"It's not good to bottle things up, Rubedo."_

_"Yeah, but right now I'm not in the mood to talk about it too much. I couldn't listen to it when Albedo brought it up, and no offence but I don't think I can talk to you about it, either."_

_"What about Nigredo?"_

_"He's just as shaken up."_

_"What about your dad?"_

_"Tch! What about him?"_

_"Rubedo…you're only going to hurt yourself."_

_"I just don't want to talk about it anymore."_

_"Well, okay, but…you DID bring it up, you know."_

_"Yeah…I'm kinda' regretting that, now. I just…I don't understand why some things die and others don't. It doesn't make sense."_

_"'Life' and 'death' aren't easy subjects to understand, Rubedo. Even I don't understand them, and I doubt most people do. But…I DO believe in fate, Rubedo. It was definitely fate that brought you and I together, and I'm sure fate played a part in bonding you and Albedo."_

_"Yet that damned 'fate' is gonna' tear us apart."_

_"The bond you and Albedo share isn't fragile, Rubedo. It'll transcend death."_

_"Somehow that doesn't make me feel better, and I'm sure it won't make Albedo happier. All I can think about is leaving him behind to fend for himself. I keep picturing him all alone, crying in an empty room and screaming for me to come back."_

_"Rubedo…"_

_"I'm not saying he's weak, Sakura, but…Albedo needs me. I don't know what the hell I'll do if we get separated."_

_"Rubedo…although I'm sure you're worried about how Albedo copes…are you sure you're really worried about just HIM?"_

_"What?"_

_"I have a feeling you're afraid of leaving him because…you're afraid to go into the afterlife without him. You don't want to be alone anymore than he does."_

_"…"_

_"I'm sorry. That was…a bit too direct, wasn't it?"_

_"No. Actually…you're exactly right, Sakura. He's…he's my twin brother and…I don't know what I'd do without him. Supposedly, peoples' worries vanish when they die, but…I'm not brave enough to get that far and realize their assumptions were false."_

_"You really love him, don't you?"_

_"H-huh?!"_

_"Hehehe. You CAN admit it, you know."_

_"…Well…I dunno…"_

_"Oh come' on, Rubedo!"_

"_Heh…well…of course I do. He's a pain in the ass sometimes, but…heh…I'd be up shit's creek without him."_

"_Hehe. I hope you tell him that someday."_

_- - - - -_

"In spite of what happened with today's PATHOS experiment…" Dr. Yuriev began, standing before his youngest, yet most loyal U.R.T.V. children. Originally, his meeting with Citrine and Nigredo was meant for this morning, but thanks to Albedo's shower episode, not to mention what happened with PATHOS, Dmitri was only able to privately speak with 668 and 669 now. Folding his hands behind his back, the man continued to stand before his desk a few feet away from his kids. "…Preparations for the Descent Operation are still underway. I've already told you that PATHOS has been terminated after what happened today. You can guess that Rubedo will no longer be undergoing constriction exercises to better harness the Red Dragon, meaning his control over it will be significantly poor from here on out. That means you two will have to be on full-alert from now on."

"Yes, sir," nodded Citrine, while her brother remained silent and motionless. Both Citrine and Dmitri knew Nigredo's opinion on the matter of his best friend, so there was no point in rehashing it. Besides, friendship or not, Nigredo was obedient enough to Dmitri to still kill Rubedo if ordered.

Not bothering to wait for a response from the raven-haired boy, Dmitri proceeded. "Secondly, regarding the Descent Operation," he spoke whilst turning around and briefly facing his desk, appearing to leaf through items littering the desk's top. "I've changed my mind on a few things. Taking into consideration Rubedo's low level of skill taming the Red Dragon, there's a chance he might lose control during the Descent. You know as well as I do that such cannot happen."

Pausing again, the blonde man then turned back around holding a large weapons case before him. From experience, the Designer Children instantly recognized the platinum case as the type for carrying pistols specifically crafted for U.R.T.V. training. Upon opening the shiny case, Dmitri unveiled two identical black handguns, polished and apparently never used. Without word, Citrine and Nigredo reached out and accepted a loaded gun, Citrine instantly getting a comfortable feel of its metallic weight in her hands.

Conversely, Nigredo stared aimlessly at his weapon. The pistol almost mocked him, conveniently being the identical color of his jet-back hair. The sleek gunmetal shined via overhead light fixtures in Dmitri's office, the shine glaring into Nigredo's teal eyes. The gun was a weapon specifically crafted for him, and also happened to be the weapon Dmitri obviously expected Nigredo to use to kill Rubedo.

Nigredo could almost see the black gun tainted in his brother's red blood.

_Rubedo…_

"Keep those with you at all times," ordered Yuriev, turning back to his desk to pick up and give two holsters to go alongside the children's new pistols. Citrine practically accepted the leather holder like an eager teen driver whose father just gave her the keys to his car. Nigredo, on the other hand, accepted it as though somebody just gave him a noose to wrap around his neck. "I also want at least one of you by Rubedo's side as often as possible. Tracking him via the mental link may not be enough in the event the Red Dragon awakens again. You are to keep a closer eye on him, understood?"

"Yes, sir," repeated Citrine, already holstering her new weapon as if she were ready to get the job done right away. Once again, Nigredo remained silent and just continued staring at his reflection displayed across the metallic pistol.

"Good," Dmitri bluntly replied, before turning his attention specifically on the oblivious Nigredo. Despite how he knew Nigredo was listening, Dmitri never liked his children to show a lack of respect. Yuriev knew his son was hurting, but as with Rubedo, Dmitri was not about to grant Nigredo time to sort through his emotional dilemmas, especially with the Descent Operation so close.

Speaking of the Descent Operation, "One more thing, _Nigredo_," emphasized Dmitri, purposely regaining his youngest son's attention back up at him. Folding his arms, Dmitri then locked his eyes with Nigredo's, bearing down upon the young boy rather authoritatively. It was vital that Nigredo listen to what his father was about to say, since the major reason Dmitri called this meeting was to tell Nigredo the other 'change in plans.' Of course, for Dmitri, this 'change' had been planned from the very beginning, but his U.R.T.V.s did not need to know such.

"I'm sure you haven't forgotten about your duty, Executioner," Dmitri reminded, causing Nigredo to cringe at the horrid title bestowed upon him. Technically, Citrine was an 'executioner' U.R.T.V. like Nigredo, but the title seemed to be used more commonly towards Nigredo for some ungodly reason, despite Citrine being older. Why the hell Nigredo was graced with this 'blessing' he would never know. "Plus, do not think your role of 'fail-safe' is over just because PATHOS has been terminated. The threat of the Red Dragon going out of control again is still very real, Nigredo, thus you're still the fail-safe."

Nigredo understood Yuriev's declaration, though the boy could not help but blink at a sudden realization. Number 669 was dubbed "Executioner" because he was built to kill the Red Dragon. However, he was also dubbed "fail-safe" in the event the Red Dragon went out of control. Were the two titles, "Executioner" and "fail-safe," not one in the same? Yet, Dmitri acted as though they served two different purposes.

As if able to read Nigredo's thoughts, Dmitri wore a very slight expression of amusement before deciding to finally enlighten his youngest son of the next string attached to his destiny. "I will not be sending Citrine into the Descent Operation, Nigredo. In the event of a worst-case scenario she'll need to be kept safe." His reasons for protecting Citrine were his own, though Dmitri figured she would prove useful after the Descent ended. Citrine was the only U.R.T.V. Dmitri was ever remarkably pleased with, worthy of stepping into the next phase of Dmitri's plans following Miltia.

His father's words baffled and angered Nigredo. Despite not being an emotional U.R.T.V., Nigredo could not help but feel his blood boil upon Dmitri's remark. "But it's okay if I get killed out there?!" Apparently, Citrine was considered more valuable than Nigredo in Dmitri's eyes.

The raven-haired child's naivety caused Dmitri to grin faintly. "Foolish boy. How many times have I told you that U-DO can't harm you, nor can you harm it? You were specifically built for that purpose so there's no reason for you to think you'll die on Miltia. Whatever happens with U-DO, you'll be safe. I've already got a charter scheduled to rescue you after the appointed Zohar severing."

Perhaps Dmitri was right, but Nigredo was still not comforted. He did not like what his father seemed to be implying, too, as if Dmitri was expecting something to go wrong, or at least something 'major' would happen on Miltia. However, it was a bit reassuring to know that Dr. Yuriev was willing to schedule a charter to rescue his children after the Operation was finished. "I see…" Nigredo figured. "…So we're to head to the rescue sight after we've completed the mission, correct?"

Nigredo did not think he asked a difficult question, but Dmitri still seemed to need a moment to answer, along with another second to glance at Citrine. Nigredo, too, looked over at his sister, noticing her blue eyes instantly dart away from his upon seeing the turquoise in Nigredo's orbs. Suddenly feeling unsettled, Nigredo dared to look back up at his father's placid face.

"Yes," Dmitri finally answered, though not before further explanation. "But there's not going to be any 'we' getting on that charter, Nigredo. Just _you_."

_Just…ME?!_

Nigredo could not help but blink a few times. What in God's name did Dmitri mean?! What made Nigredo so special that only he was getting a rescue flight out of Miltia? "W-what…what about the others?" the black-haired boy stammered, feeling his heart start to race in fear as he searched his father's eyes for an answer.

All Nigredo got instead was, "You are a fail-safe, Nigredo," explained Dmitri. "A fail-safe built specifically to kill the Red Dragon…and ensure the compliance of all U.R.T.V.s. You know all about your father's little 'weakness,' correct?" he questioned, knowing the answer was written all over Nigredo's paling face. "Number 669 was specially built to counteract any forms of U.R.T.V. rebellion against me.

"However, as you are aware that I don't possess the ability to kill my own anti-existent children…" added Dmitri, before glaring his eyes right back into Nigredo's widening teal eyes. "…I need a fail-safe that will be able to eliminate the U.R.T.V.s when their usefulness has ended. That time will be o-one-hundred hours on Miltia that night, after the appointed Zohar severing. In the event any U.R.T.V. survives the severing, you, Number 669, are ordered to terminate the remainders. As you possess the ability to counteract their wave patterns you should have no difficulty with this assignment…"

"HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SAY THAT?!" Nigredo suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs, his uncharacteristic outburst instantly silencing Yuriev and causing Citrine's eyes to widen in rare surprise. But Nigredo did not care how he was behaving at the moment. The boy could not believe what his father just told him! As if being titled Rubedo's Executioner was not bad enough, now Dmitri was forcing Nigredo to execute the rest of his comrades during the Descent Operation next month! It was a surreal nightmare during which Nigredo felt like he was going insane. His heart raced and nervous sweat was already forming at his brow whilst his body shook violently. Nigredo was not ready for this revelation. Swallowing a developing lump in his throat, the youngest Variant tore his eyes away from his father and shook his head in utter disbelief. "H-How…how can you _possibly_…expect me…t-to…"

"Do not make this difficult, Nigredo," Dmitri lightly groaned, discreetly rolling his eyes at how childish Nigredo was behaving. This was why Yuriev hated working with emotionally driven kids; they always let their damn feelings get in the ways of their duties. Citrine was the only child Dmitri thought succeeded in setting aside her emotions for the sake of her life's purpose. "And do not disappoint me, either," warned Dmitri, taking one step closer to his significantly smaller boy, towering intimidatingly over the terrified child. "You were born specifically for these purposes. It's time you fulfilled the duties I bestowed upon you."

"'Bestowed'?!" Nigredo blasted incredulously, shaking his head wildly, so quickly his sweaty black hair became disheveled. "No! You CURSED me you bastard!" he screamed, balling his fists tightly as a rush of anger and various emotions surged throughout his young body. Never before did Nigredo allow his emotions to take control of him like this, nor did he ever display them before his father. However, Nigredo suddenly realized he did not care anymore. He was tired of being a caged blackbird.

"You cursed ALL of us!" the black-haired boy almost choked, recalling the 'curses' of his unfortunate U.R.T.V. siblings. The standards were cursed without individual consciousnesses and dubbed as expendable as garbage. Albedo was cursed with his immortality, forever deprived of an end to his suffering. And Rubedo…poor Rubedo was cursed with the Red Dragon, which led him to kill his own brothers, and would eventually lead him to be killed by his best friend. The only U.R.T.V. who did not seem cursed was Citrine, though Nigredo doubted she was fully exempt. One way or another, Dmitri would betray her someday, too. Nigredo knew it. And now, on top of everything else, Dmitri was laying one final curse on his Designer Children: dooming them on Miltia.

Of course, the only saving grace with the final curse was that it was entirely up to Nigredo. The boy did not like the idea of being ordered to kill his siblings, but as Dmitri said before, their father was not going to be present during the Descent to 'hold anyone's hand.' Thus, the actions his kids took that night would be their own choices. Therefore, if Nigredo truly wanted to…he did not have to kill his brothers. He could die on Miltia with them.

Alas, would dying a martyr solve anything? Dmitri would still be alive, along with Citrine, and God only knew what they might do after the Descent Operation. Nigredo did not fully understand his father's plans, but he knew Dmitri's ultimate goal was to eliminate his fear of U-DO. Dmitri Yuriev already took very drastic measures in reaching his goal, and Nigredo did not want to imagine the next phase of his father's 'grand scheme.' Something was telling Nigredo the only one who would benefit from the situation was Dmitri…and many others would suffer along the way, just like now.

"No…" Nigredo muttered, shaking his head slowly. Dying on Miltia was not the answer at all, and neither was killing the U.R.T.V.s. If any change could be made it would require the source of the problem to be eliminated. Therefore, to ensure Dmitri's plans went no further, Dmitri was the one who had to be taken out of the picture. Such was the only solution.

"I'm abandoning my mission." Such was why Nigredo gripped the pistol in his hand. That weapon was fated to be the instrument to bring about Rubedo's demise, but only if Nigredo willed it. Now, the boy held in his hands the tool that could change his own destiny…and the fates of perhaps not just his siblings, but of the rest of humanity. Dmitri Yuriev was the greatest monster of all, and he had to be stopped. Such was the only solution.

Such was why Nigredo pointed the gun at his father's face, screaming "I won't follow your orders anymore!"

…And pulled the trigger.

_- - - - -_

_"Well…I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Sakura."_

_"G-guess s-so, Rubedo."_

_"Heh. You'd better get inside. It's cold and you're shivering."_

_"Y-yeah. I'm not used to the snow, yet. Still, I do like it."_

_"Yeah, me too, but go inside where it's warm, okay? We can play in the snow tomorrow."_

_"Really? What do you want to play, Rubedo?"_

_"I dunno. It doesn't snow at the institute. I'll have to check out some books about snow and see what people usually do with it."_

_"Hehe. Actually, when I was healthier, I think Mom, Dad, and I used to build snowmen in the winter, together. I really don't remember building them, though. It was a long, long time ago…"_

_"'Snowmen'? Heh, what're they?"_

_"Why don't you read up on them and I'll tell you more tomorrow?"_

_"Alright. Sounds' like a plan."_

_"Mmm-hmm."_

_"Well, I'd better get going. Nigredo and Albedo already ran ahead to the exit point, and God knows my illustrious twin brother will throw a fit if I take too long."_

_"Heheh."_

_"Heh, well, I'll be seeing you, Sakura."_

_"Okay, then. Goodbye, Rubedo."_

_"…"_

_"…Rubedo?"_

_"Hey Sakura…do me a favor, will ya?"_

_"Sure. Anything."_

_"Don't…don't say 'goodbye.' It's kinda' weird to note, but every time I leave we usually say things like 'see you tomorrow' and such. I'd kinda' prefer if it we kept talking like that."_

_"…Oh. Okay. I…I didn't mean to upset you."_

_"Na, you didn't. 'Goodbye' is just kinda' bittersweet, that's all…a little too sad coming from you, Sakura."_

_"I didn't mean it to sound that way."_

_"I know. Trust me, I'm well aware of how confident you are. You've always kept a smile on your face. That's why I'm sure you'll beat your illness."_

_"…Really, Rubedo?"_

_"I know it. I KNOW things will get better, Sakura."_

_- - - - -_

The metallic scents of blood and gunpowder spread throughout the office like an airborne plague. As the redolence lingered into the children's nostrils, Nigredo and Citrine stared expressionlessly at the sight before them. A massive stain spattered the once-immaculately polished floor, coating the finish with an additional red layer of reflective blood. The wet carnage spread to the farthest reaches, even across the U.R.T.V.s' cherubic pale, wide-eyed faces. In the center of the scarlet pool was their father, the majority of Yuriev's body crumpled on the floor: everything from the neck down. As for the 'rest' of Dmitri, there was a faint trail of blood extending from the larger mess, leading directly across the room where a bullet hole in the wall was surrounded by spattered gore.

When the gunshot's ringing in their ears ceased, as if on cue, the two onlooking bloodstained U.R.T.V.s instantly spun away from the sight and retched into an available hand. Their legs almost gave way as their energy practically drained out of their small bodies. For Nigredo, he could still feel the warm pistol in his other vibrating hand, slipping and sliding in his sweaty palm but unable to be dropped. No matter how horrified and ill the boy felt, Nigredo could not bring himself to tear the gun away.

Of course…he knew why. He could feel 'it' surge across the mental link like a tidal wave. The second the emetic sounds dissipated, Nigredo gripped the slippery pistol and instantly spun back around, whipping the gun out and pointing it directly at…another gun barrel.

'Normal' children would have naturally grieved over the death of their parent. Alas, for Dmitri's Designer Children deprived of such grieving 'privileges,' Numbers 668 and 669 pointed their weapons at each other as if about to face-off. Neither kid budged, both leveling the guns perfectly at each other as if they aimed at a mirror. Neither moved a muscle, training all thought and attention on the opposing sibling and waiting for the other to make the next move.

Unfortunately, after what just happened, Nigredo did not believe he had the right to make the next move. His 'turn' as already over, used to execute his own father. Now it was Citrine's turn, and she had every right to return the favor to Nigredo. Relenting, Nigredo's hand slowly lowered his handgun, while Citrine blinked whilst still keeping her pistol trained on her little brother.

"Go ahead, Citrine," Nigredo unemotionally muttered, glancing away from his sister to steal a second-long glance at Dmitri's immobile, decapitated body. Despite the boy's hatred towards his father and Nigredo's inherent aloofness, the raven-haired boy felt his eyes sting with tears as he started realizing what he just did. Not believing Dmitri was worthy of tears, Nigredo furiously blinked back his emotions, despite how the fluids kept on coming. "Killing me won't make any difference, anyway."

The female U.R.T.V. kept the gun pointed at her younger brother for a while longer, ensuring Nigredo would not 'pull a fast one' once she let her guard down. Alas, judging by his forlorn expression and rapidly watering teal eyes, Citrine knew Nigredo would not shoot her. Technically, she had every right to shoot Nigredo. Despite 669 being an executioner U.R.T.V. like herself, Citrine did swear that if Nigredo ever got in her way she would kill him. Now, the baby Variant dared to murder his own father, and afterwards was practically ordering Citrine to kill him! In any other circumstance, Citrine would not have even waited for Nigredo's clearance. In any other circumstance, Nigredo would have already been dead by now.

Alas, Nigredo was not dead…yet. Seeing her littlest brother struggling to restrain his emotions was a pitiful sight for Citrine to behold. Like Dmitri, Citrine frowned upon U.R.T.V.s who let their feelings get the best of them. She was the hardened solider, and she had no problem with acting like it, either.

And yet…even Citrine's blue eyes were stinging.

"Do you…really think this changes anything, Nigredo?" the blonde's voice deeply questioned, while her hand gingerly lowered the gun and returned it to her holster. Somehow, the realization that she was not going to kill Nigredo triggered something inside the boy, as if her decision to spare him broke the final restraint on his emotions. Once Citrine's pistol was gone, the youngest U.R.T.V. lowered his head until all Citrine saw was a vibrating head of raven hair shielding a choked sob. She paused for another moment, unsure what to do or say. She was not like typical older sisters who would comfort their 'poor little brother.' Nigredo was mature enough to understand the magnitude of his actions, and Citrine was not about to baby him just because this was, in fact, the first time she ever saw Number 669 cry.

Yet…even Citrine felt something hurt deep inside her chest. She did, after all, possess human emotions just like the other three Variants. However, what set her aside from the males was that Citrine just chose to ignore her 'human' side.

Yet…

"Killing our father won't change anything, Nigredo," Citrine bluntly noted, well aware of her brother's thoughts across the mental link just seconds before he shot Dmitri. "You know as well as I do his plans will still materialize. He's figured out every angle to accommodate even something as drastic as his death. Nothing's changed," she knew, before quickly glancing at the stomach-churning sight that was once her father. "All you managed to do was make a mess of things."

Nigredo did not reply. Technically, he could not reply due to his clamped mouth, pursed so tightly to prevent the swelling screams and wails Nigredo so desperately wanted to unleash. He did not 'love' Dmitri like most normal children would love their father, but there was no denying that Nigredo felt terrible for killing his creator. On top of that, knowing Dmitri's death changed nothing filled Nigredo with a deepest sense of failure. Nigredo was still trapped in his cage, only this time his cage would forever be decorated in his father's blood, taunting Nigredo for the rest of his life.

The worst part was, Nigredo's murdering of Dmitri was the first decision the boy made on his own. _"When you finally learn to make decisions for yourself, let me know."_ Alas, Nigredo did not even have the strength or courage to tell Rubedo, not because Nigredo feared Rubedo would be upset, but because Nigredo knew his first 'decision' was a wrong and foolish decision.

Citrine noticed a few teardrops drip from her brother's dipped head. He looked so pathetic, and yet, Citrine still could not bring herself to say so to Nigredo. Ordinarily, a sight like this would have driven the arrogant girl to mock the baby Variant for actually acting like a baby. Yet…something held her back.

Yet…her eyes still stung, though Citrine could not decide whether those tears were for Dmitri…or for Nigredo…

…Or maybe for…_herself_. She, too, was just as trapped as her little brother.

"One day…" Citrine whispered, swallowing a rare well of emotions snagged in her throat before she took a step closer to Nigredo. She only took one step, but it was enough for her to get close enough to her weeping brother, causing Nigredo's forehead to briefly contact her shoulder. Ordinarily, Citrine would have never allowed this, yet…she just stood there for a moment and gave Nigredo the pint of comfort he needed. She never rubbed his back or spoke reassuringly, but Citrine's shoulder seemed adequate. She could feel him lean further into her tear-soaked shoulder, almost hinting to Citrine that the boy might put his arms around her, though Nigredo refrained. He was grateful for her shoulder. It was proof that somewhere, deep down, he and Citrine did have a connection, which was all Nigredo ever wanted.

Of course, Citrine's comfort did not come without a price. "I'm letting you live for a reason, Nigredo," she uttered, lowering her gaze down at Nigredo's black hair whilst continually blinking back her own tears. "Dr. Yuriev won't let you get away with this." Unlike Nigredo, Citrine knew one other string attached to Nigredo's destiny, something Dmitri never got around to explaining before Nigredo unexpectedly murdered him. A while ago, Dmitri already told Citrine the other function of U.R.T.V. Number 669, in addition to him being a fail-safe Executioner. There was one other duty Nigredo was expected to fulfill, a duty Nigredo would fulfill later in his life, specifically when 669 matured into an 'adult' body. Citrine did not know if Dmitri 'anticipated' his own murder, but either way, "One day…you'll realize how stupid your actions really were, and how you did nothing to change your destiny." Discreetly softening her face, Citrine glanced down where her serial number's hand dangled idly beside a line of tears dripping from Nigredo's face.

_You did nothing to change your destiny…or MINE, Nigredo._

Eventually, both Nigredo and Citrine would pay for this moment.

- - - - -

"Rubedo?" Albedo whispered gently, before opening the automatic door to the Variant boys' bedroom. He was instantly greeted by darkness, much like the abyss within PATHOS. As the white-haired boy carefully walked into the room and shut the door, he looked around for his twin. The only source of illumination Albedo had was via the fake stars shinning outside a nearby window.

The stars had just started to twinkle by then as the day of The PATHOS Incident staggeringly drew to a close. Nigredo was still nowhere to be found, though Albedo figured the younger brother was still busy doing God-knows-what with Dmitri and Citrine. Not wanting to eat alone in the standard-infested cafeteria, Albedo finally sought after Rubedo, praying he could coerce his older brother to finally come out of their room.

It took a moment for his violet eyes to adjust to the darkness, but Albedo's smile instantly broadened the moment he saw the outline of his precious twin sitting on his cot. After spending an afternoon without Rubedo, Albedo wasted no time in hurrying over to his brother. He was mindful not to run around in the dark in case Gaignun was catnapping on the floor again, which Albedo did not want to accidentally step on the cat. However, Albedo still reached Rubedo's bed as quickly as possible, sitting down next to his brother a second after. The cot's springs creaked a little, though they sounded deafening amidst the dead silence of the room, so silent a pin drop would have been as loud as a thunderclap. It was rare to be in a silent room with Rubedo, especially since the redhead usually liked to talk, and had a loud mouth sometimes, too.

When it dawned on Albedo that Rubedo made no response whatsoever to his younger brother's arrival, Albedo turned to his twin. Rubedo just sat at the edge of his bed and stared aimlessly at the hands on his lap, as if he were looking at them for the first time. The boy's red head hung slightly, enough to avoid any possible eye contact with his brother. Never liking to be ignored, Albedo leaned forward a little so he could better see under Rubedo's hidden face obscured by darkness. "Rubedo?"

Of course, the second Albedo did so, Rubedo's head turned away as if pulled by a string. Such caused the white-haired twin to blink in surprise, before straightening back up and facing the back of Rubedo's head. Rejection never settled well with Albedo, though a part of him understood why Rubedo was acting this way. Albedo could still feel the pain inside his heart reflective of Rubedo, so it did not take a genius to know why Rubedo was acting the polar opposite of his typical self.

Exhaling silently, Albedo then looked back down at his own lap, unable to keep staring at Rubedo's turned head. Sitting in silence, the younger twin wanted to do something to cheer up Rubedo. Heavens knew Rubedo cheered up Albedo countless times throughout their lives, so it was only proper for Albedo to help Rubedo when needed. Alas, Albedo was unsure how to approach this particular subject.

It did not help that Albedo still had a smile on his face, either.

"Don't be sad, Rubedo," encouraged Albedo, turning back to the redhead and placing a hand on the older brother's limp shoulder. Even Albedo shuddered briefly when he noticed how 'dead' his twin felt, though Albedo did not want to think such disturbing thoughts. Refocusing his attention, the younger sibling upheld a pleasant demeanor whilst affectionately rubbing Rubedo's shoulder. "It's not so bad."

He half expected Rubedo to spin around and start ranting and raving how foolishly Albedo spoke. Of course, that was what Albedo wanted, too. He wanted to jar Rubedo out of his depression, even if it meant Albedo had to minutely rile-up the redhead. Alas, when Rubedo failed to respond in any way to Albedo's notion, that was when the younger brother stopped rubbing his twin's shoulder. Apparently, Rubedo was not going to bounce back to his usual self so easily.

_Rubedo…_

But Albedo was not about to give up, either. He refused to lose his brother, be it via death or via depression. Considering the great lengths Rubedo underwent last night to help Albedo, Albedo knew he had better return the favor. Besides, he loved his twin and could not bear to see Rubedo sad anymore. Heavens knew Rubedo had been disheartened for a while, ever since Sakura died, and Albedo could not stand seeing his typically fiery other half extinguished.

Exhaling more soundly this time, Albedo ran a hand through his thick white hair before getting up off the cot. He was hoping Rubedo would either follow or move in some way as a response, but nothing transpired. Stealing a glance back down at his pitiful twin, Albedo bit his lip before needing to look elsewhere. His happy mood was quickly dying by seeing his poor other half. It was very common for Albedo to symbiotically feel sad whenever Rubedo was sad, and Albedo really did not want to be melancholic.

Strolling a short distance to the unveiled panoramic window, Albedo gazed at the early night sky speckled with lovely stars. Despite how the stars were synthetic, they were quite beautiful to behold, along with the crescent moon casting an enchanting white glow across the courtyard below. The Yuriev Institute might be an artificial world, and it might have been designed to appear idealistically 'perfect,' but tonight the place was nonetheless breathtaking.

Albedo, Rubedo, and Nigredo often gazed at the stars during nights like these, especially evenings during which the kids could not sleep. One of the many books Rubedo read was about astrology and how people could 'connect' stars into 'pictures.' Such images were called constellations and many were named after Lost Jerusalem mythology figures. Unfortunately, the Yuriev Institute's 'perfect' artificial sky did not replicate the specific constellations recorded in Rubedo's books. So instead, the children imagined their own constellations. Nigredo was notorious for spotting a pattern that reminded him of Gaignun. Conversely, Rubedo seemed fond of picking patterns that resembled his favorite things, such as his harmonica or a cherry blossom (his brothers teased him until his face was redder than his hair for that one).

However, for Albedo, there was one particular pattern the middle child enjoyed, a 'constellation' that did not resemble an object or an animal. In fact, the pattern did not look like anything recognizable, but it was the way the pattern was arranged that intrigued Albedo. The starting points of two distinct stars crossed paths, eventually meeting briefly before separating again. Across the starry sky, the pattern was best described as two zigzags when connected via an imaginary line. No matter how many times the two particular stars strayed from each other, their lines eventually returned to the other. Even now, Albedo could spot the pattern painted across the sky, watching his own little constellation of two star paths that were apart as often as they were together. They were the spitting image of him and Rubedo. Albedo could only wonder if the people of Lost Jerusalem had a constellation that mirrored the twins' bond so perfectly, if not better.

His euphoria returning, Albedo placed a hand on the window's glass, smiling earnestly as he gazed lovingly at his favorite constellation. "There are times I think we're opposites, and other times, like now, when I realize our physical detachment never mattered," he spoke softly and openly, before placing the same hand over his throbbing half-heart.

"What happened today made me realize a few things." Of course, Albedo was not foolish enough to divulge all of today's findings, namely his 'loophole.' Something was telling him that Rubedo would not be happy to hear about such, so Albedo buried it alongside his other multitude of secrets. "All this time, I kept wishing we could somehow be, you' know, 'put back together'." Never before did Albedo ever divulge his lifelong dream to Rubedo, in fear the older twin would either be embarrassed or just laugh. "I'd be lying if I said I still wouldn't mind being conjoined again, but…physical means don't really matter anymore. We're still the same, even if we're no longer one."

There was a shooting star that glided across the synthetic skyline, catching Albedo's attention for a second. Usually, the middle child wished upon as many shooting stars as he could find, always wishing that someday he and Rubedo could be brought back together. But tonight he refrained from his typical wish, because Albedo no longer believed that wishing was necessary.

"We really are the same, Rubedo," Albedo smiled happily, blinking back a few tears of gratitude as he watched his shooting star disappear into oblivion. "What happened today proves it. We're both monstrosities, but I can live with being one…if you're one, Rubedo," he added modestly. "To tell you the truth, I never cared 'what' I was; a 'weapon,' a 'Variant,' or a 'monster.' It didn't matter to me as long as I knew you were by my side. Even then I was afraid you were drifting away.

"But now…" paused Albedo, before watching all the other glistening stars in the fake cosmos, all of them practically brightening along with the boy's spirits. "…We're the same again, almost like being together again. I'm so…so happy," he choked, closing his eyes for a second to blissfully restrain his tears. For the first time in a very long time, Albedo felt at peace. Today was the closest Albedo's dream could get to come true, short of him and Rubedo being physically rejoined.

Much to Albedo's surprise, his purple eyes flew open upon feeling a pair of familiar arms suddenly wrap themselves around him from behind. Startled only for a second, Albedo then blinked a few times as he felt the arms encompass his shoulders, enveloping him in a tight embrace. He could feel his shared heart beat faster and his breathing briefly halt for a multitude of reasons, but namely joy. Without words, it was obvious to Albedo how his twin felt about the matter. As a watery smile pilled his quivering lips, the white-haired boy slowly turned his head to face his other half, choking back a jubilant "Rube-"

He did not get very far, however, when one of the embracing arms' hands suddenly covered his mouth, silencing Albedo and preventing him from turning around. Blinking again, Albedo attempted to look at Rubedo through the corner of his eye, unable to speak due to Rubedo's hand shutting his mouth. Albedo's only other form of communication was via the mental link.

He did not get very far there, either. Just before Albedo reconnected to the link, he felt a strange jerk against his mouth. A second later, the covering hand twitched before starting to vibrate, causing it to timidly lower from Albedo's lips in an almost defeated manner. His mouth now free, Albedo felt the hand's attached arm wrap tighter around him alongside the other arm, squeezing Albedo so tightly even he was surprised.

Blinking again in confusion, Albedo turned his freed head to try and face Rubedo, though all he saw was his twin's head of red hair buried into his shoulder. And when the rest of his other half's body started to tremble violently, Albedo's face softened dramatically upon realization. "…Rubedo?"

"Just…s-stop talking, Albedo." It was the first thing Rubedo whispered since Albedo entered the room, perplexing Albedo all the more due to his brother's strange request. Blinking once more, Albedo opened his mouth to speak again, though his twin stopped him once more. "I don't…w-want to hear a-anymore."

With that, Albedo swore he felt his heart drop to his stomach when the silent room echoed a sob, perfectly coordinated with the vibrations from Rubedo's body. Being so close, Albedo's own body shook with his twin's, intensifying Albedo's concern whilst Rubedo's embrace tightened. Any closer and the twins probably would have been rejoined, but this time, Albedo was not feeling happy. Quite the contrary, his heart was aching in conjunction with all the trembles and sobs coming from the redhead buried into his dampening shoulder.

This was too surreal for Albedo. Rubedo did not cry, certainly not this much, except for that time with Dr. Mizrahi the other day. Sure, what happened today in PATHOS was frightening, but Albedo knew Rubedo was strong. Rubedo could handle anything life threw at him, right? "Rubedo…"

"I SAID SHUT UP!!" Rubedo blasted into his twin's ear, causing Albedo to jump. Although, the younger twin did not jump very far before feeling the older brother burry his face deeper, harder, painfully into Albedo's collarbone, a weak attempt to suppress the redhead's spilling tears. As if Rubedo's scream was the verbal password to opening a gate, every emotional restraint let go and poured out of the link master's eyes and mouth. "S-top calling me a m-monster! I don't w-want to be a monster, Albedo, and y-yet you keep acting like it's something to be… t-to be happy about!

"I KILLED ten of my brothers today! I even e-enjoyed it, and almost tried to…tried to k-kill…" Rubedo could not even say his last sentence without holding his twin closer, dreading what might have happened to Albedo had Rubedo not stopped the Red Dragon mode in time. Knowing Rubedo was seconds away from tearing apart his other half via his own accord only intensified the older brother's pain. "Oh God, Albedo…" Rubedo wept, nudging his head closer to Albedo's, resting against the crook of the white-haired boy's neck.

Softening his face further, Albedo's own hands rose to touch Rubedo's encompassing arms, his only way of providing physical comfort at the moment. But at the same time, whilst listening to his half-heart's heart-wrenching sobs, Albedo could not help but be confused. Why was Rubedo so upset? Did the redhead not hear Albedo say they were practically the same again? Was Rubedo not happy to be like his twin? "You…don't want us to be alike, Rubedo?" Albedo timidly asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. "You…don't want us to be together?"

Contrary to his earlier immobility, Rubedo heard everything Albedo said before about how 'similar' they were now. Alas, Rubedo could not take comfort in such. "O-of course I want us to be together, y-you idiot," the redhead choked through another round of oncoming tears. "But…I-I don't want to hurt anyone, let alone my own t-_twin_!"

As sweet as Rubedo's words sounded, Albedo could not help but feel upset by what his other half just claimed. If Rubedo refused to kill his brother, then…Albedo's precious 'loophole' would be voided. In 'sparing' Albedo, Rubedo would deny his brother the death the immortal one so significantly desired. Albedo could not let such happen; he could not let Rubedo leave him behind.

But…maybe that was what Rubedo wanted.

"You won't kill me…" Albedo muttered, feeling his sadness begin to warp into an odd yet inflaming anger. The feeling burned through his veins, consuming the happiness and hollowing Albedo's sanity like a gutted fish. The younger twin nearly snapped completely. "…Because you want me to be alone, don't you? That's what you want, isn't it?! Die and leave your obnoxious brother behind!" Albedo manically blasted, feeling anger-induced tears start welling his own violet eyes as he attempted to break free from Rubedo's powerful grip. "You and Nigredo probably can't wait to get rid of me, C-CAN you, Rubedo?! You don't care about me, DO you-?!"

"Stop talking l-like an ass!" Rubedo hollered an interruption, though his quaking tone was not as forceful as it normally would be. Ordinarily, if Albedo started talking such attention-craving nonsense, Rubedo would have silenced him via a clean right hook. Alas, tonight, the redhead just quieted his unruly brother with another embracing squeeze, knowing that would be enough to quell Albedo's vexation.

His voice now calming, Rubedo rested his head back against his twin's neck, feeling fluids continue to glide down his cheeks and nose. "H-how could you p-possibly think I'd want to leave you?" Rubedo softly asked, though it was a painful question that tore at him. Sniffling, the older twin then closed his eyes for a moment, nestling his head, the moment reminding him of last night in the forest. Despite the overhanging melancholy last night, Rubedo would have been lying if he said he was 'unhappy' to be there with his other half.

Quite the contrary, "You're m-my twin brother…and I love you d-dearly." Sakura would have been proud to know Rubedo finally told Albedo that, and frankly, speaking his heart made Rubedo feel a little better, too. Both of his hearts felt squeezed, though one heart in particular pumped more dramatically.

Rubedo noticed two crystal drops fall onto his arms currently resting under Albedo's chin. Another sniffle resonated through the dark room, though this whimper was not credited to Rubedo. Such was unsurprising, seeing how Rubedo rarely ever spoke to Albedo in such an honest, heartfelt way. The link master was usually too busy upholding his authoritative status to speak his heart, in fear that others might notice across the mental link. Technically, any other U.R.T.V. could have been listening to this current conversation, but Rubedo did not care anymore. He had much better things to muse over.

With that, Rubedo felt his younger brother shift enough to break apart from Rubedo's hold. Before either could have spoken, Albedo spun around completely, for the first time all night able to face his other half. Despite the faint starlight cast in their room, Albedo saw enough of Rubedo to coerce more tears into the younger half's welling eyes. A mere shadow of his typical self, the link master's face was forlorn. The rims of Rubedo's sapphire eyes were tinted maroon; darkened by four days worth of fatigue and reddened raw by an afternoon's worth of crying. Those eyes continued to leak profusely, staining the redhead's cheeks pinkish and shiny with multiple lines of starlit tears. The sight alone twisted Albedo's heart and provoked more tears down his own features.

Unable to waste anymore time, Albedo placed his arms on Rubedo's shoulders and drew the redhead into his own arms, reversing the role and now being the one holding his brother tightly. As if his other wish came true, Albedo embraced his twin comfortingly, much like he wanted to do instead of Juli Mizrahi the other day. His wish now granted, Albedo soothingly rubbed his twin's back, the action coercing Rubedo to let go of anything else he was holding back. Listening to Rubedo sob into his chest easily drew ample tears from Albedo's half, driving the younger one to burying his wet face into his brother's disheveled red hair. Hearts-to-hearts, the twins sobbed into each other's arms multitudes of tears they had been carrying for far too long.

All the while, Albedo never knew what to say. What could he say? Sure, he could babble valueless nonsense to fill Rubedo's head with false securities. Albedo could humor his twin; tell Rubedo he was not a monster and say he felt sorry for Rubedo. However, considering the apparent pain Rubedo was undergoing, Albedo did not find it fair to load Rubedo with delusions. Albedo knew Sakura was notorious for filling Rubedo's head with flowery ideals, which probably only intensified Rubedo's current pain. Rubedo wanted to be the normal, "wonderful" boy Sakura dubbed him, but the fact was, Rubedo was not normal, nor wonderful, nor anything Sakura thought. It was rather unfair for Sakura to fill Rubedo's head with that lofty crap, even though Albedo knew she did it out of kindness, not torment. All she wanted was for Rubedo to be happy, which was one of, if not the only common trait Albedo and Sakura shared. They both loved Rubedo and did not want to see him hurt.

Unfortunately, Albedo realized that humoring Rubedo with petty false optimism would hurt the redhead. Truthfully, Albedo was still somewhat happy that he and his twin were so monstrously similar. Despite Rubedo's feelings, Albedo felt a sense of selfish 'wholeness' being there with Rubedo in his arms. As Albedo said, it never mattered if the kids were 'normal' or if they were the Devil's spawn. If they could not be reattached, then the next best thing was the twins being as similar as possible. For the first time in a long while, Rubedo no longer felt so 'distant' from Albedo. Even though Albedo rarely let his brother out of his sight, Rubedo kept physically and mentally changing over the years, gradually becoming less interested in his other half. Sakura's début significantly widened the gap between the twins, and for a while, Albedo assumed the rift would never be closed. Technically, the chasm never changed, but Albedo satisfied himself by 'filling' the gap. Matters like this morning in the forest, today's realizations, and Rubedo's heartfelt words, gradually filled the distance between him and Rubedo, 'bridging' the twins back together. It was probably the closest they would ever get to becoming one again.

Honestly, Albedo was happy; though he knew admitting such would only imbue further pain on Rubedo. Despite their similarities, Rubedo was clearly not happy to be like Albedo. The link master wanted to be a normal boy, not some bioweapon freak that indiscriminately slaughters innocents. Even if the twins were created to be one anti-U-DO monstrosity, Rubedo's opinion still differed dramatically from Albedo's. In some ways, the twins were similar, and in other ways, they were polar opposites. Albedo was not sure what this meant, nor did he know if he and Rubedo's gap would ever be filled.

Or, deep down, the twins were, and always would be, two halves of a complete whole. They were two parts that complimented and mirrored each other: two stars that were apart as often as they were together. In a way, it was both disturbing and relieving for Albedo, knowing he and Rubedo would stray, but eventually return to each other. Perhaps they were fated to be this way forever. If that were true, then there was nothing for Albedo to fear in the future, not when he and Rubedo would eventually be together again.

Somehow, everything would be okay.

Slowly, the twins' sobs finally began to lessen into weaker hiccups. As their large tears reduced to occasional eye trickles, the exhausted boys gradually lowered themselves to the floor, sitting shoulder-to-shoulder under the starry window. Their positions were a reversed mirror image of last night in the forest. Rubedo's head now laid on Albedo's shoulder, whilst the younger boy's head rested atop his sibling's red hair.

Any time Albedo heard an occasional sniffle or whimper from Rubedo, the white-haired boy put an arm around his sibling and offer a loose half-hug. The younger twin never dared to look at Rubedo's face, though, lest it induce Albedo to start crying all over again. Thus, both boys just stared straight forward, looking at nothing in particular while lost in thought and carrying heavy hearts. Despite his ponderings, Albedo still wanted to say something…anything that might put Rubedo's mind at ease. The middle Variant's mind may have been slightly cleared, but that was no reason for Rubedo's to be exempt. More than ever, the redhead needed some reassurance.

"Things will get better, Rubedo," Albedo's voice softly soothed into Rubedo's nearest ear. In a way, Albedo actually believed what he spoke, too. He and Rubedo had a way of surviving 'tough times' together, and who said now was any different? Nestling his head into his twin's crimson locks, Albedo breathed in softly and hopefully. "I'm sure of it."

Rubedo, on the other hand, felt his reddened puffy eyes widen at Albedo's nostalgic sentence. _"I KNOW things will get better, Sakura."_ Another beadlike tear welled in the corner of Rubedo's eye closest to Albedo. The redhead told Sakura those same words mere days before she died. Rubedo dared to predict events would get better, and as if fate wished to prove him wrong, the exact opposite transpired. Sakura died, followed by the hellish PATHOS massacre, on top of the previously spiraling events of the past few months regarding Albedo's immortality. Now Albedo claimed 'things would get better.' Who was to say fate would not contradict those words again? What if something worse was just around the corner, only this time would involve the death of another loved one, maybe even…

"I hope so, Albedo," Rubedo prayed with all his heart, blocking out the disturbing possibilities of an uncertain future. Closing his eyes, the older brother nestled his head closer to his twin again as the final tear slid down Rubedo's raw cheek. He could only hope that Albedo's prediction came true, but regardless, the future could not change the past. Rubedo could never go back in time and stop himself from murdering his brothers, nor could he go even further back and rewrite the circumstances of his demonic existence.

He did not know why he was cursed with the Red Dragon mode, but the reasons did not matter. The bottom line was that Rubedo was a monster, one who finally accepted his dark tenebrous shadow. The Red Dragon was eternally Rubedo's responsibility, but something he swore to eventually control. Despite his slaughter of ten brothers, Rubedo managed to spare Albedo's life, and saving one life was better than saving none. Control was indeed within Rubedo's reach, he just needed to try harder. Rubedo certainly did not want to make the same mistake twice and be responsible for murdering more U.R.T.V. comrades.

"_You're a lot stronger than you realize, Rubedo. Don't be scared."_

Rubedo _was_ scared. He never felt so frightened and broken before in his life. Every part of him, both physical and mental, ached, but he would not submit again. Sakura said he was strong, and thus, Rubedo would have to be strong. Somewhere, in the near future, Sakura's mother and little sister would be waiting for him. He would not let the Mizrahis down like he did to the 330-Units. And there was still Albedo and Nigredo, too. Remembering his brothers caused Rubedo to rest his head minutely closer to his twin's half-heart; a beating reminder of Rubedo's other responsibility to protect Albedo. Too many people loved and needed him, and Rubedo could not fail them. It was not just because he was the "leader"…it was because Rubedo wanted to protect them. Come hell or high water, an affair like The PATHOS Incident would not be repeated, not on Rubedo's count, anyway.

"_Things will get better, Rubedo. I'm sure of it."_

There was a saying that things got worse before they got better. Rubedo could only hope such would come true.

After all, the Descent Operation was just a month away.

- - - - -

**THE END**

- - - - -

* * *

**A/N**: The ending is sort of a bitch, isn't it? Rubedo and Albedo come to all these hopeful resolutions, but when you consider what happens a month later on Miltia…hehe…not-so-happy ending, I guess (but that's how I wanted it to end). Yes, this story intentionally foreshadows events long after "PATHOS" takes place, from the Conflict to Episode III. I hope you noticed some subtleties.

(A few more notes to throw out before you can breathe a sigh of relief that my babblings are over)

The first comment regards Albedo's "loophole." We all know what that loophole was come Episode II's end. However, the canon never explicitly states when Albedo starts formulating his scheme to die. Plain as day in Episode II, we know every fight between Jr. and Albedo was a set-up to ensure the immortal's "release." It's known that after U-DO's contamination, Albedo realized reconnecting with U-DO would make him vulnerable to the Red Dragon. The "loophole" topic in "PATHOS" was my idea that even before his contamination Albedo was slowly devising a plan to die. Bear in mind, of course, that in this story his scheme was in its infancy. The Conflict is like the "final piece to the puzzle" Albedo's scheme needed. My reasons for thinking these ways are as follows: After discovering his immortality, Albedo promptly digs graves, starting his obsession with death (before the Conflict). No evidence supports this, but I'm sure Albedo was not thinking only about his brothers' deaths during those grave diggings. Like in Chapter V, I wondered if Albedo also wanted to die with them. Such are my impressions, but I think they worked for this caliber of story.

Next regards Citrine and Nigredo. I certainly hope readers didn't find their last scene OOC. I know 668 and 669 are unemotional, but after witnessing their father killed, and them being 'closer' to Dmitri than most U.R.T.V.s, I couldn't picture Citrine and Nigredo not being a little upset. Nigredo and Citrine are serious, not heartless.

For the record, the final scene with Rubedo and Albedo was tough to write. Still, I loved the poetic irony of having Albedo comfort Rubedo (instead vice versa). I know those twins argue, but you can't tell me they'd deprive the other of comfort when needed (at least during this story's timeframe. 14+ years later is more debatable). Truly, I don't consider Rubedo and Albedo as different as they act come the video games' present. Jr.'s hotshot behavior often gives me the impression he doesn't always like to admit how alike he and Albedo are.

Final food for thought (for those who didn't notice): I feel inclined to mention the double meaning behind this fic's name. True, the title "PATHOS" was meant to represent the actual experiment's full name (Preemptive Ascendancy Testing Host Operational Simulation. No worse than KOS-MOS and MOMO's full names, right?). More over, the word "pathos" is Greek for "suffering" in relation to grief, piteousness, misery, and tragedy. "Pathos" is also used to classify works, such as literature, that evoke sadness/pity. I think that sums up this story quite well, don't you?

_**~ Special Thanks ~**_

(The beauty about "revised/re-mastered" versions is that the author can add things he/she was too afraid to include in the first release!). In the original release of this story, I didn't do any personal shout-outs for this fic, because I was too chicken to offend anybody (seriously, I was a nervous wreck when I first wrote this story: "first time jitters" and all that, but I'm definitely feeling more confident now). However, as I revised this story I realized I probably would've NEVER bothered to revise a story this huge without SOME support backing me up.

So while these thank-yous are totally belated, I feel inclined to express my boundless gratitude to two people. First thankies go to PrettyArbitrary for giving me some VERY helpful writing advice and indirectly inspiring me to polish and improve this entire fanfic. And last but certainly not least, my biggest thankies goes out to Sweet Sedaytion for arguably being the very reason why I kept going with this story in the first place. I've really enjoyed discussing this story with you guys and am eternally grateful for your support. You two have been too kind to me! ^_^

As for everyone else, thanks so very much to anyone who's read and/or reviewed this story. It was my pleasure writing "PATHOS," and I hope it was your pleasure to read it. I'd love any reviews on this story's finished product, too. Reviews for this particular story make me very happy! From Aiselne to you, thanks so much for reading!

**- Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus**


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